bar etiquette

[tresjoliecoco]

What do you think about cash bar vs. open bar? Our friends over at "the knot" tell us that it's not c-lassy to have guests pay for drinks. I agree in principle, but the suggested starting budget in their workbook is 30K. We're working with half of that.

One thing we're considering is doing a wine pour-- that way, they get drinks with dinner (and

Comments

[biochemcrazy]

We had unlimited beer and wine, if any of the guests really needed a hard drink, there was a bar on the other side of the hotel lobby. Most of the guest list was under-age or didn't drink, so it just didn't make sense to pay all the extra money for an open bar.

[annabelle_blue]

This exactly. We did not pay for alcohol. First and foremost, it was not within our budget. Second of all, my husband doesn't drink and did not feel comfortable paying for other people to drink. I chose to respect that. While alcohol was available for guests (and our venue was admittedly super inexpensive for alcohol), we provided everything else: coffee, tea, punch, water, and about six different soda options.

I think that it is far less classy to be a guest at a wedding who complains about what their hosts (the couple) has offered than it is to have only a limited offering.

[potentlyalive]

Yep. I 100% agree.

[stefaniewefanie]

We are doing open bar for the cocktail hour, then cash bar for the reception. We are doing a champagne toast, plus with our package comes house wines, beer, soda, coffee and tea. Even if it didn't come with that we would've done cash bar for the reception because open bar would add a TON to the price.

[in_vino_vanitas]

someone mentioned that this question is very culture-specific, and i couldn't agree more. if byob is the standard in your family/group of friends, then they shouldn't be too put off. if hosting parties means paying for everything, then people might be a little surprised. all the crap out there telling them cash bars are tacky probably isn't helping, either.

[lizardwan]

I've been to weddings that have cash bars, open bars, no bar, everything in between...honestly, it's never mattered to me. As long as I a) know ahead of time if I'm going to need to bring cash, and b) the soft drinks don't cost money, I think it's ok. But I also think it kind of depends on your family/friends/location/region and a whole bunch of other things. I know that with some people, it's not ok.

We're compromising, doing open beer/wine with lunch, anything more than that and they're going to have to pay for it. And we might do a signature cocktail as well, but we might not. But one of the reasons we're able to do that is because we're getting a really good deal on our food and we're having a small wedding.