Ugh I know I can't be alone!

[sleepygrl79]

I was just wondering if anyone else is playing the traditional/nontraditional wedding game? I'm trying to be who I am along with making everyone happy. I am really trying to incorporate the cultural and unique aspects that are us along with the typical American traditions. Overall, I'm ok with this I just don't get the unneeded comments

Comments

[septsix08]

You know what? I love trail mix. I crave it! I'd be squirreling it away from the other guests!

I don't see anything wrong with you having it, especially when you point out that you are both outdoorsy people.

You really just have to have faith in yourself and what you and your FH want. I don't think anyone has the right to rag on your choices when they are being given free food/entertainment, etc. And they're there for your wedding, first and foremost. Not whatever food you might be serving.

I know it's easier to say "Forget about it - if they don't like it, it's their problem" than to actually feel that way but truly...it's your day. You shouldn't have to justify it. If someone in your family voices their "concerns" about it, just try to calmly explain that you are doing it because it's what you and your FH want.

[sleepygrl79]

Totally!

[wint3rhart]

You're not the only ones at all :) I loathe traditional weddings, and ours will be as far away from what our extended family would love to see as possible. I have absolutely zero patience with people at WORK who tell me "Oh, but you'll be a spaz in September, I know you're getting married then." My face goes all O_o when I hear that...

It's made a little easier for us because we're not inviting the vast majority of our families - parents and siblings, only. Any aunts, uncles, grandparents, &c who might not understand why there're no flowers and white linen tablecloths aren't even coming, so no quarrels there! The friends list is a bit more unrestricted, but anyone who doesn't like it can cheerfully stay home that day, and I've got no problems telling them so.

I've been pushed on the informality issue a few times, and am seriously turning into an anti-bride Bridezilla...!

[sleepygrl79]

Ohh I'm so envious of you getting to NOT invite family! We have such big families it's hard to pick and choose.

we've been questions about our lack of flowers also (only the bridal part and me will have them).

Your co-workers suck! Why is there a need to down people who do not conform? I say good for you and I'm sure your wedding will be great. I look forward to reading updates!

[wint3rhart]

Hehe, thanks! We hope it'll be an awesome time :D

Picking and choosing would have been a problem, and the way we want it - well, you just can't have an intimate friendly bbq with 100+ family members (around whom you have to be polite and formal, of course). This kind of bbq/picnic is the only kind of wedding I've ever wanted.

We just drew a hard line around families, and said parents and siblings are in, anyone else is out. This was a no-brainer with my family - the fact that we're having any kind of an event is "formal" for us, so they totally understand wanting to keep it simple. FH's family has been a bit more unhappy with the decision, but oh well. We've told his parents to have anyone who gives them crap about it, call us. We're more than happy to explain it to them personally, but it's not fair to give his parents grief for our decision.

[blueirisheyez]

I don't understand how trail mix equates to "circus" but that's probably because I love trail mix.

I stood up in a wedding with a rennaisance theme a few years ago and the ceremony was outdoors and the reception was in a rustic setting. The bride had trail mix on all the tables in wooden bowls. The trail mix was gobbled up as if we were all squirrels. People walked in and said "oh yum trail mix" and they enjoyed it because yes, there were other appetizers but this was just a laid back thing that they didn't expect.

You won't please everyone. Someone will always complain about something. Hell, my sister still rants about my food (I didn't do family style which is the norm for my family and I am divorced now) and I still give her grief about her hideous cake (man...I have nightmares over it). LOL

You just need to do what makes you happy and learn to just accept that not everyone will see your vision.

[sleepygrl79]

Thank you! And thanks for the reassurance that people do infact enjoy the kick back flow of trail mix!

[mydreamwedding]

I just stopped telling people what we were planning on doing/being vague/said it would be a surprise or we hadn't decided..etc. Especially those that either were big blabbermouths or bitchy/mean spirited.

You just distance yourself from those people.. if they don't like your wedding tough.. its your wedding.

Personally I think the wedding should reflect your personalities - and trail mix sounds cute... bars do it all the time and thats the feeling you are going for in the pub area.

[sleepygrl79]

You know this is exactly what I told FH this am. He made a big hairy deal out of the trail mix and not having apps. that they forced us into veggies. So I told him to shut his trap and we are going to just go about our plans!

And that is the feeling we are going for we've called it "Casual Elegance" we want it to be beautiful and comfortable. And we love us some Pubs ;)

[chickyboo]

In November I started telling people that everything was a surprise if it wasn't someone directly involved. Now I wish I had some more opinions! Of course, I don't miss their opinions that much. ^.~

[sleepygrl79]

hehe that's an idea. I bet it's hard too! I want opinions and constructive criticism if they feel I'm bonkers. Just say it to me not behind our backs ya know?

I think it'd be awesome to go to a wedding where things were a surprise..but I guess it makes you have to produce a little more..