Grandmother being...difficult
My grandmother, who I call nana is being difficult. She has never approved our our relationship. She says it is not because of race (im white, fh is black) but I dont see any other issue...
She says that " THAT BOY (yes she knows his name) is not good enough for me. He sees I am from a prominent family ( I AM? wish my bank account knew this...I am a poor as hell starving college student! haha) and he is just riding on my coat tails (oh yeah cause being in debt with student loans is so appealing!)."
She says that I should have waited to get into college (in my 2nd year now) and found a boy who had the same career interest as me (I am a biology major hoping to do wildlife rehabilitation) so we would have more in common ....
My fh is not in school now.... we cannot afford to both be in school and he wants me to go first. So as soon as I graduate, then I will work and he will go to school. It will work - who knows our finances better than us right?
So when I found my dress I called and she basically said " I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS WEDDING! and hung up on me"
My mother called her and was like "WTF MOM?" and she proceeded to tell my mother that she was a disappointment and how dare she let me ruin my life as well and that she needed to get THAT BOY away before he got me pregnant and ruined my life! When my mom said " mother they are young yes, but they are in love and statistics say that couples who marry young are 75% more likely to support eachother and graduate from college!, because they understand what eachother is going through!" My Grandmother said " so what if they are in 'love', she needs to marry for more than love, she needs to marry so she can have security regardless of if the love lasts!" then called my mother attention seeking and hung up.
I love my nana. She is a crazy whack and I know this. She lost her husband 8 years ago and she treated him horribly, cheated on him, beat his kids and her own kids (my mom and aunt) and drowns her sorrows in alcohol.
But I do love her, when she is sober and not on her bipolar low she is so much fun to shop with and plan parties with.
I am sending her an invitation because if I dont, my family and I will never hear the end of it "OH I wasnt invited to the wedding, no one loves me...blah blah blah" but I am worried that if she does come and does drink it could be very embarrasing! No one in my family or Devars family has a problem with us getting married, most encourage it!
We are paying for everything ourselves, so no one but us has the final say so. My mom said "dont invite the witch" My Dad (parents divorced) said "dont invite the witch" so yeah... lol no one seems to want her there. But she is my grandmother, I do love her and I just do not want to hear it for the rest of her life (trust me I will. She still is upset because when I invited her to my graduation, I only invited her ONLY 4 months in advance and just could not come on such short notice.... (EYE ROLL!).
What would you all do?