Honestly, I thought the best message about sex from that whole episode came from Kurt's dad. Basically "I want you to be able to do what you want, when you're ready, but don't throw yourself away on relationships that aren't important." More kids need to learn that they're valuable people, and they shouldn't just sleep with the first person who asks just so they'll feel like someone wants them.
And it seems parents need to learn to communicate with their children. Judging by the answer kids give, it seems there needs to be far more focus on what, precisely, it means to be "ready" and most clearly communication that - if sex does happen - it would be better to use some form of protection than not.
I feel incredibly lucky that my parents talked to me about sex when I was growing up. I was fortunate to have some VERY good sex ed teachers in middle and high school as well-one program was called ENABL (education now and babies later) and it did a fantastic job about teaching abstinence as well as protection from STDs and pregnancy.
I had a friend in Colorado who went to a very religious school, and her parents told her nothing about sex. What she knew she learned from the media on the sly, and she was very much in the dark about sex until she moved out in her mid twenties.
It's a delicate balance to teach sex ed in school, but I think you really nailed it regarding parental involvement. It should be talked about at home MUCH more than it currently is.
My parents were never shy about the topic to my recollection, but they were never proactive either. I suspect they think that if I needed to know anything, I would look it up for myself. (To be fair, I was reading adult fiction early in elementary school, and had my own copy of Philosophy in the Bedroom by age fifteen
( ... )
>Personally, I doubt the efficacy of school-provided sexual education. In the most recent survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy only 4% of teens cited teachers and educators as the most influential in their decisions about sex, far behind parents (46%), friends (20%) or religious leaders (7%).While they might not cite them as influential, every study I've ever heard about that actually looks at the results shows that there's significantly fewer instances of teen pregnancy in areas that have real sex ed than in areas with abstinence-only sex education
( ... )
There is such a thing as abstinence inclusive or promoting curriculum, rather than an abstinence only. If you look at the first report I linked, you'll see that is clearly advocated by a majority of adults, and actually seems desired by the majority of teens (87% responded that it was important for parents to give a strong message to teens that they should not have sex until they are at least out of high school).
Between the desire for more parental input (particularly on relationships) and gross misperception of peer behavior (especially with decline over the past 10-15 years), it seems likely that many of the kids who did regret sexual activity may have avoided it with clearer guidance and more realistic view of what is normal.
That is not to dismiss the importance of the information - as noted in the report, there is evidence that teens do not see education as advocacy - but to combat the perception that teen sex is an inevitability, so you best just give your blessing and a steady supply of prophylactics.
Well that's a bit of a strawman, since I don't think anyone's badmouthing abstinence inclusive sex education or even sex education that focuses on abstinence as the best option. In fact, I don't think there are any sex education programs out there that don't stress abstinence, since it's the only real 100% effective method of preventing pregnancy and STIs. The thing us lefties disparage are programs that focus just on abstinence to the exclusion of everything else since it's just unrealistic.
I.e., the right way to go about it is to not give your blessing...but do supply the prophylactics, because a certain large percentage of kids are going to have sex anyway, and even their most trusted and respected authority figures saying "Don't have sex" aren't going to be 100% effective in the face of millions of years of evolution urging you with every fiber of your body to go out and try to reproduce. Remember, another thing that 100% of kids have in common: They come from a very long line of people (and before that, ape-like proto-humans,
( ... )
It would be a strawman if all approaches to comprehensive curriculum were equivalent, which they aren't, so it's not. There is a fundamental disconnect between the idea that chastity is a realistic and desirable goal and the idea that adolescent sex is an inevitably, so you best provide information early and often, often without regard for parental oversight or consent. There is a significant difference between a curriculum that stresses abstinence as the norm, and one that presents it as merely one birth control option among many. And there are potentially stark differences between a school which provides contraception on request, if at all, and one that hands out condoms proactively, provides hormonal birth control to pre-teens or arranges abortions for students without parental notification
( ... )
Comments 8
Reply
Reply
I had a friend in Colorado who went to a very religious school, and her parents told her nothing about sex. What she knew she learned from the media on the sly, and she was very much in the dark about sex until she moved out in her mid twenties.
It's a delicate balance to teach sex ed in school, but I think you really nailed it regarding parental involvement. It should be talked about at home MUCH more than it currently is.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Between the desire for more parental input (particularly on relationships) and gross misperception of peer behavior (especially with decline over the past 10-15 years), it seems likely that many of the kids who did regret sexual activity may have avoided it with clearer guidance and more realistic view of what is normal.
That is not to dismiss the importance of the information - as noted in the report, there is evidence that teens do not see education as advocacy - but to combat the perception that teen sex is an inevitability, so you best just give your blessing and a steady supply of prophylactics.
Reply
I.e., the right way to go about it is to not give your blessing...but do supply the prophylactics, because a certain large percentage of kids are going to have sex anyway, and even their most trusted and respected authority figures saying "Don't have sex" aren't going to be 100% effective in the face of millions of years of evolution urging you with every fiber of your body to go out and try to reproduce. Remember, another thing that 100% of kids have in common: They come from a very long line of people (and before that, ape-like proto-humans, ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment