In Which Sam and Ruby get Married...

[likely_evil]

Sam had decided to wait until they had Ben back and had made their way back to Seattle before having the wedding. They really were not planning on anything big - let's face it, Sam and Ruby hadn't made a lot of friends in the last two decades. But there were family and a few friends who would be welcome, and Sam was someone who really cared about

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Ben's Thread

[mini_dean]

After the wedding was over, Ben had snuck upstairs for a moment to get a quick breather from all the emotional static downstairs. Even with it being happy waves, it still could get overwhelming.

But two pills and ten minutes of fresh air and he was back downstairs, looking to find Anna for a dance or two and avoid getting his cheeks pinched from his Winchester grandparents.

[sarcio_pater]

"Yeah, the change is a little weird isn't it?"

Even John, who had spent a lot of time with the angels had trouble with recognizing Dean as his son sometimes. There was just so much Michael sometimes.

[mini_dean]

Ben's face hardened just a bit, watching his father before looking back at John.

"I really don't want to talk about that."

[sarcio_pater]

Well, that wasn't a reaction John expected. He raised an eyebrow a bit, but shrugged it off.

"Alright, won't talk about that."

[mini_dean]

"Though I'm curious about what he was like when he was younger. I mean, I only saw him once when I was eight. Other than that, I know nothing except for a few stories Sam has shared with me."

[asmymen_depart]

"You know, hiding from me isn't going to work," Mary said with a smirk as she came up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder gently. "And I don't pinch cheeks. I promise."

[mini_dean]

"Well, that's a good thing."

He turned around to face Mary, knowing that it was really inevitable that she would find him here. And he understood she would want to know him. He was her grandson after all. But he wasn't sure he knew how to handle this.

"Though I wasn't hiding. I just needed some air."

[asmymen_depart]

She nodded, looking him over as she listened to what he said. He looked so much like Dean. So much like her son, and she just couldn't help but run her hand over his face gently, taking him all in.

"It's a little overwhelming, I know. I feel the exact same way."

[mini_dean]

"I'm sure our reasons are a bit different."

He flinched a bit at the touch but didn't pull away. He knew she was just trying to be motherly. Mama did it now and then too. Anna - well her touches were meant in a different way.

But this was family and he hadn't been touched like that in years. Not since his mom had. It was almost uncomfortable as it was comforting.

"It was nice they let you come down to see Sam. It probably means more to him than you could imagine."

[asmymen_depart]

"I'm sure they are."

She saw the flinch, but since he didn't pull away, she didn't either. She was selfish enough to know that she wouldn't have much longer to touch. Instead she just gave him a small smile, running her fingers through his hair gently, before letting go.

"It means a lot to me too. I've had to do a lot of watching over the past forty years."

[mini_dean]

Ben tilted his head a bit.

"What do you get to see when you're in heaven? Of your kids?"

[asmymen_depart]

She shrugged. "Whatever I'd like to? I'll admit, I missed a lot in the first twenty years or so -- I was haunting our old house, as ridiculous as it sounds. But once that was taken care of, I would watch Sam and Dean all the time. On hunts, on the road -- whatever they were doing."

Her face fell after a moment, before continuing. "After a while though, it hurts too much, only being able to watch -- not to reach out and touch, or take care of like I wanted to. I'd check in every once in a while, but I tried to find other ways to occupy myself."

[mini_dean]

"Were you ever disappointed? Like in what Sam did? Or how they changed from what you had hoped for them?"

[asmymen_depart]

Leave it to her grandson to ask the tough questions. She took a breath as she considered that for a moment before shaking her head. "Not disappointed. He did what he had to do to save the most important person in the world to him. I can't say that I'm not guilty of doing the same."

She still remembered that night. The one where Azazel had possessed her father and made her that deal. John's life for Sam's, and she knew that she could never be disappointed in Sam for making the best of a situation she had put him in.

"And I especially can't be disappointed when it was my fault he had to make those choices to begin with. He did the best he could with what he had. That was all I could ever ask of him."

[mini_dean]

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you like that." Ben rubbed the back of his neck.

"But you might want to let him know that one day if you haven't already. It's probably in the back of his mind."

Like it was in Ben's. He wished he could know if his mom was disappointed in him with everything that had been going on lately. What he'd give to be able to see his own mother just one more time.

"And while I don't really mind chatting... you might want to spend it with him more."

[asmymen_depart]

"You didn't upset me. You've just got a complicated family history, that's all." She moved closer to him, sliding her arms around his shoulders. He may want to get out of talking to his grandmother, and that was fine, but there wasn't any way he was getting out of at least one good solid hug. She deserved at least that much.

She didn't get to see him grow up. And while Dean didn't either, she just wished she would have known. Then she at least could have looked.

"And alright, alright. You don't have to entertain me anymore. I get when I'm not wanted." That last bit was light and teasing, just enough for him to know that she wasn't hurt by the brush off. At least not now.