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[watersoul]

Why do I always feel like my feelings are "ugly and wrong". I feel as though I was being melodramatic in the last post and that people are going to hate me for it. Paul didn't even really like me towards the end, so maybe I should just be quiet and try to move on. I need to post something really retarded the way I usually do to balance things out.

Comments

[acruelambition]

I don't blame you for feeling the way you do at all. I know how you feel. Really. I always wished I could reach out to him. I wanted to, but knowing how he felt, I was afraid to break the comfort level he already had with me. I didn't want to seem like I was intruding on him, and I didn't want to be a pest, basically. But I knew he was tearing himself up on the inside, because I saw so much of myself in him. And that's what really hit me. Sometimes, when I would read things that he'd right, it was as though I was reading my own thoughts, in somebody else's words. And I really thought that he knew I would always be here for him, like I am for all my friends

[watersoul]

Yeah. Everything you say really hits home with me. Wouldn't it have been wonderful if all three of us (and others too, if they wanted), lived real close to each other? That would have been awesome. I usually tried to say everything to him that was on my mind, but he seemed to always get angry at me, like when I told him that I thought he was very attractive, in many different ways, he would often get angry at me, like I was feeding him a line or just feeling sorry for him, when I was just telling him the truth. There were so many other things too. So many other things. If only he could have waited a little longer...

[acruelambition]

If only he could have waited a little longer...

That's what I keep saying to myself, but it's sort of a done deal (as much as I hate admitting that). He's probably happier. At least I hope he is.

[sweet_mary_jane]

Do NOT feel like your thoughts and feelings are ugly or don't matter. That is a lie. They matter to you, and they matter to those who care about you. Your emotions are what they are. You have to let them out or you will go mad. Who give a damn what anyone else thinks about them... that shouldn't be your concern. If anyone has a problem with them they have serious issues they need to deal with. I know you want to be the silly oddball you that everyone knows... but take time to heal no matter what you have to say or what emotions you go through to do that.

[watersoul]

That makes me feel so much better. You're so awesome. I love you. Thanks. ^^