Tiniest Costumethe_ambush_bugSeptember 10 2008, 00:36:50 UTC
As Manitou Raven and Scalphunter make their way backstage, Ambush Bug returns with a Pop!
"Well, as they say, if it'll play in Peoria, it probably has too many damn skrulls in it. Next up! One of my very favorite categories of the evening! Tiniest Costume!"
Sexy saxophone music begins to play.
"And here to present the nominees are two of my great pals - Jericho, and the Silent Knight!"
Re: Tiniest Costumejla_randomsSeptember 10 2008, 00:41:08 UTC
The Silent Knight also approaches with podium without speaking, and exchanges an awkward glance with Jericho, before they both look helplessly as the teleprompter.
Re: Tiniest Costumejla_randomsSeptember 10 2008, 00:44:00 UTC
The pause continues for a long moment, then - Jericho is inspired.
Reaching under the podium, he produces two markers and some large white sheets of cardboard.
He and the Knight scribble furiously, before Jericho holds up the first one.
'Our first nominee for tiniest costume is my teammate, the lovely and radiant Starfire, sporting her tiny purple classic swimsuit. She loves to soak up the sun and show off some skin.'
Best Gritty Revampthe_ambush_bugSeptember 10 2008, 01:32:33 UTC
The stage is cleared once more, and the emcee returns.
"And now - prepare to get grim. Prepare to get fierce. Our next category will rattle your bones, and fill you full of hot lead. That's right, it's.. Best Gritty Revamp!"
He gestures once more to the center stage.
"Please welcome your hosts .. Charaxes, and Killer Moth!"
Re: Best Gritty Revampjla_villainsSeptember 10 2008, 23:33:18 UTC
The demi-demonic Charaxes drops to the ground behind the podium, having been hidden in the scaffolding. He hisses a greeting to his more-human counterpart, who arrives through more conventional locomotion.
Re: Best Gritty Revampjla_villainsSeptember 10 2008, 23:39:14 UTC
"Don't worry about it. Continuity is hard. Congrats on the Infinity Inc. job."
Charaxes steps forward to begin.
"Our first nominee for Best Gritty Revamp is the perennial laughingstock of the DC Universe, Aquaman. Going from an orange-scale shirt and talking to fish to a beard and a hook hand may seem mostly cosmetic, but no one's laughing now, are they?"
Most Likely to Succeedthe_ambush_bugSeptember 11 2008, 00:06:58 UTC
As Killer Moth and Charaxes, Ambush Bug returns!
"Wow, that Rex. He's one bad son of a bitch!"
The audience groans, and Ambush Bug tugs at his collar nervously.
"Another clunker like that, and I'll cut off the free banana supply for the writers."
He beams, suddenly.
"But we've got a super-duper category coming up next - the comic book characters voted Most Likely to Succeed! When the chips are down, who can you count on to come out ahead? Let's find out with our presenters .. Mary Marvel, and Captain Marvel, Jr.!"
Best Sidekickthe_ambush_bugSeptember 11 2008, 00:34:18 UTC
Ambush Bug helps Freddy and Mary get off the stage, then returns with his mobile microphone.
"Well, I bet old Bats is going to be sorry he missed this next category, because I can bet a bunch of his friends will be appearing. Here to present the award for Best Sidekick are two famous examples of yesteryear - Jimmy Olsen and Snapper Carr!"
Re: Best Sidekickjla_randomsSeptember 11 2008, 00:40:32 UTC
"At least he didn't treat you as a glorified secretary. Fetching coffee, taking notes, hiding dead hookers for Hal and Ollie.."
Snapper pauses suddenly.
"Er, I mean.. live hookers. Hiding live hookers for Hal and Ollie. To find. It was a game. Hide and... y'know what? Let's get right on to the nominees."
"First up, the original sidekick, and a fantastic hero in his own right, Dick Grayson, AKA Robin, AKA Nightwing. He started a long line of child endangerment."
Re: Best Sidekickjl_metropolisSeptember 11 2008, 00:42:33 UTC
Jimmy's still giving Snapper an odd look after that.. admission.
"Oh, wow. Well, here's a coincidence. Dick Grayson's replacement, Jason Todd, AKA Robin, AKA the Red Hood. Jason suffered from an unfortunate call-in campaign, but that injustice was ret-conned, fortunately.."
The Bug is back, ready to introduce the next presenters.
"Our next award is a little something special. Very little, in fact. The Best Cameo award celebrates excellent, but small, appearances. Unfortunately, due to the vast volumes of source material to choose from, and the omnipresence of cameos throughout, we have decided to somewhat narrow the scope for the nominees... to this show."
"So, here to present the award for 'Best Cameo in the Ambush Bug Awards', are Booster Gold and Blue Beetle!"
Re: Best Cameobooster_mikeSeptember 11 2008, 23:35:54 UTC
Booster stalks onto the stage from the wings, still fuming over his Best Sidekick award - but maintaining a tight grip on the statue. No such thing as bad publicity, right?
Behind him, Blue Beetle follows him out, apparently having difficulty in stifling his laughter.
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"Well, as they say, if it'll play in Peoria, it probably has too many damn skrulls in it. Next up! One of my very favorite categories of the evening! Tiniest Costume!"
Sexy saxophone music begins to play.
"And here to present the nominees are two of my great pals - Jericho, and the Silent Knight!"
Reply
Reply
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Reaching under the podium, he produces two markers and some large white sheets of cardboard.
He and the Knight scribble furiously, before Jericho holds up the first one.
'Our first nominee for tiniest costume is my teammate, the lovely and radiant Starfire, sporting her tiny purple classic swimsuit. She loves to soak up the sun and show off some skin.'
Reply
"And now - prepare to get grim. Prepare to get fierce. Our next category will rattle your bones, and fill you full of hot lead. That's right, it's.. Best Gritty Revamp!"
He gestures once more to the center stage.
"Please welcome your hosts .. Charaxes, and Killer Moth!"
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"Been a while, Moth."
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"Aren't we the same person? I mean.. what the hell?"
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Charaxes steps forward to begin.
"Our first nominee for Best Gritty Revamp is the perennial laughingstock of the DC Universe, Aquaman. Going from an orange-scale shirt and talking to fish to a beard and a hook hand may seem mostly cosmetic, but no one's laughing now, are they?"
Reply
"Wow, that Rex. He's one bad son of a bitch!"
The audience groans, and Ambush Bug tugs at his collar nervously.
"Another clunker like that, and I'll cut off the free banana supply for the writers."
He beams, suddenly.
"But we've got a super-duper category coming up next - the comic book characters voted Most Likely to Succeed! When the chips are down, who can you count on to come out ahead? Let's find out with our presenters .. Mary Marvel, and Captain Marvel, Jr.!"
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"Hey, everbody! We're super-pleased to be here this evening to present this award to you. I'm a Marvel.."
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There's a pause as they wait for laughter that doesn't come.
"Gosh, I guess those internet movies aren't as funny as Tawky said they were. Nobody laughed, Freddy.."
She seems almost ready to pout, but recovers quickly.
"Of course, I'm wondering why I wasn't nominated for that last category - my alter ego in the main DC Universe has really gotten dark!"
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"Well, I bet old Bats is going to be sorry he missed this next category, because I can bet a bunch of his friends will be appearing. Here to present the award for Best Sidekick are two famous examples of yesteryear - Jimmy Olsen and Snapper Carr!"
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"Of course, I wasn't really a sidekick, per se. I was a Pal. I had more adventures on my own than as a partner for Superman.."
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Snapper pauses suddenly.
"Er, I mean.. live hookers. Hiding live hookers for Hal and Ollie. To find. It was a game. Hide and... y'know what? Let's get right on to the nominees."
"First up, the original sidekick, and a fantastic hero in his own right, Dick Grayson, AKA Robin, AKA Nightwing. He started a long line of child endangerment."
Reply
"Oh, wow. Well, here's a coincidence. Dick Grayson's replacement, Jason Todd, AKA Robin, AKA the Red Hood. Jason suffered from an unfortunate call-in campaign, but that injustice was ret-conned, fortunately.."
Reply
The Bug is back, ready to introduce the next presenters.
"Our next award is a little something special. Very little, in fact. The Best Cameo award celebrates excellent, but small, appearances. Unfortunately, due to the vast volumes of source material to choose from, and the omnipresence of cameos throughout, we have decided to somewhat narrow the scope for the nominees... to this show."
"So, here to present the award for 'Best Cameo in the Ambush Bug Awards', are Booster Gold and Blue Beetle!"
Reply
Behind him, Blue Beetle follows him out, apparently having difficulty in stifling his laughter.
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He coughs to hide a laugh, and reaches under his mask to wipe away a tear of mirth.
"I'm Blue Beetle, and this is Booster Gold.."
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