Ambush Bug is lost from sight for a moment in the darkness, before the stage lights come back up a little, revealing a costume change to a white leisure suit, complete with a large wig over his antennae.
"Looks like I'll be Stayin' Alive!"
He begins disco-dancing around the stage, as a spotlight hits Ambush Bug's bandleader, Houngan, performing a rendition of the BeeGees classic on the steel drum.
Commercial Breakjla_randomsSeptember 9 2008, 01:52:46 UTC
Cheery music plays as the camera reveals the Doom Patrol, held hostage by the Brotherhood of Evil, about to be disintegrated, then cuts to a nearby hallway, where Steve Dayton waits for the right moment. He slips into a janitor's uniform that does nothing to conceal the enormous purple helmet on his head, and slips a candy in his mouth.
Making his way amongst the Brotherhood under the pretense of cleaning the floor, he picks his moment deftly, and blasts the villains with his psychic powers, and flashes a smile at the camera, holding up the candy tube, labelled 'Mento'.
Re: Commercial Breakjl_aliensSeptember 9 2008, 01:57:27 UTC
"Do you need to learn a new language?"
A winged officer of the Thanagarian military appears on the screen, speaking in pleasant tones.
"Well, you can try Rosetta Stone, but why not use the superior alien technology available to such fine institutions as the Thanagarian Army, the Thanagarian Intelligence Agency, and the State Department."
He produces a small metal helmet device "Now you, too, can benefit from the Absorbascon, the fastest way to learn every language on a planet, guaranteed. Why waste time learning one at a time?"
Re: Commercial Breakjla_extrasSeptember 9 2008, 02:02:28 UTC
An older gentlemen with a mustache addresses the camera.
"Hi, I'm John Sherry, C.E.O. of Computo Learning Lessons. I'm the guy who offers free instructional videos on a variety of Computo topics. You may have heard of my lessons on Defeating the Legion, Outwitting Your Coluan Creator, and the like."
The screen displays some of the mentioned discs.
"I'm here to offer you a chance to get my latest lesson for free - How To Kill Triplicate Girl. If you like it, I hope you'll try more of my lessons.."
"Our first category was going to be 'Most Complicated Continuity' - but regrettably, our nominees - Donna Troy, Hawkman, and Power Girl - appear to have been merged into a single person with the latest retcons. So we're giving them an honorary award, collectively. So, congratulations, Powerhawk Troy!"
Ambush Bug shrugs.
"So instead, we'll move on to the second category, 'Best Hat'! Here are your presenters - Vandal Savage, and Tenzil Kem!"
Best Westernthe_ambush_bugSeptember 9 2008, 02:37:41 UTC
As Tenzil and Savage leave the stage, Ambush Bug returns.
"Well, that was mercifully brief! Perhaps the Stranger was just tuckered out.. he finished his acceptance speech for last year's Best Hat award only moments before tonight's ceremony."
He gets a laugh from the audience, and continues.
"Our next category at the Schwabbies is near and dear to my heart - Best Western. It doesn't actually have anything to do with comic books or super-heroes, but I love it nonetheless. And here to present our nominees tonight are two experts on the West - Scalphunter, and Manitou Raven!"
Re: Best Westernjla_forgottenSeptember 10 2008, 00:22:22 UTC
"I'm not really a fan of John Wayne. But he's all over this category tonight. Next up, we have the Searchers - another Wayne classic. Why is nobody in these movies as well-dressed as Bat Lash?"
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Ambush Bug leans to stage-whisper to the audience.
"It apparently has the power to show you the future. Let's see what it has in store for me!"
Reply
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"Looks like I'll be Stayin' Alive!"
He begins disco-dancing around the stage, as a spotlight hits Ambush Bug's bandleader, Houngan, performing a rendition of the BeeGees classic on the steel drum.
Reply
Making his way amongst the Brotherhood under the pretense of cleaning the floor, he picks his moment deftly, and blasts the villains with his psychic powers, and flashes a smile at the camera, holding up the candy tube, labelled 'Mento'.
Reply
A winged officer of the Thanagarian military appears on the screen, speaking in pleasant tones.
"Well, you can try Rosetta Stone, but why not use the superior alien technology available to such fine institutions as the Thanagarian Army, the Thanagarian Intelligence Agency, and the State Department."
He produces a small metal helmet device "Now you, too, can benefit from the Absorbascon, the fastest way to learn every language on a planet, guaranteed. Why waste time learning one at a time?"
Reply
"Hi, I'm John Sherry, C.E.O. of Computo Learning Lessons. I'm the guy who offers free instructional videos on a variety of Computo topics. You may have heard of my lessons on Defeating the Legion, Outwitting Your Coluan Creator, and the like."
The screen displays some of the mentioned discs.
"I'm here to offer you a chance to get my latest lesson for free - How To Kill Triplicate Girl. If you like it, I hope you'll try more of my lessons.."
Reply
"Whew! That had to be my best performance ever! I hope nobody missed that.."
He wipes his brow as if he were sweating through the green costume that he wears like a second skin, and goes directly into his next spiel.
"We tried to bring you this show for a while now - it was going to go off a lot earlier, but - regrettably, we fell afoul of a writer's strike."
The crowd boos, a little.
"I'm happy to report that they're all back to work. I mean, heck - it's not they're really that important to begin with, but unions, you know?"
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"Not zat important, 'ee sayz! Maybe our material is not ze best, but zere are only three of us! What does 'ee expect, Shakespeare?"
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"Can the comedy and get back to work, Mallah, or I'll feed you that beret."
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"Our first category was going to be 'Most Complicated Continuity' - but regrettably, our nominees - Donna Troy, Hawkman, and Power Girl - appear to have been merged into a single person with the latest retcons. So we're giving them an honorary award, collectively. So, congratulations, Powerhawk Troy!"
Ambush Bug shrugs.
"So instead, we'll move on to the second category, 'Best Hat'! Here are your presenters - Vandal Savage, and Tenzil Kem!"
Reply
"'Hello, Tenzil. I understand Bismollians can eat just about anything. I wonder what that's like. Hold for Laugh.'"
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"Actually, Van, that last bit is a stage direction. See, the first part was a joke, and.."
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"Do not presume to lecture me, you cretin! They didn't have stage directions when I invented acting, in Greece!"
He clears his throat, and resumes, more civilly.
"And the nominees for Best Hat, are.. Mr. Mxyzptlk, for his classic bowler."
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"Well, that was mercifully brief! Perhaps the Stranger was just tuckered out.. he finished his acceptance speech for last year's Best Hat award only moments before tonight's ceremony."
He gets a laugh from the audience, and continues.
"Our next category at the Schwabbies is near and dear to my heart - Best Western. It doesn't actually have anything to do with comic books or super-heroes, but I love it nonetheless. And here to present our nominees tonight are two experts on the West - Scalphunter, and Manitou Raven!"
Reply
"Let me make one thing clear." says Scalphunter, reaching the podium.
"No firewater jokes, no wampum jokes, no casino gambling. I won't do it. No way. No How."
He winces, realizing what he just said.
"That was the teleprompter's fault."
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"Don't you folks believe it. He wrote that one himself. How about we go straight on to the nominees?"
"First, there's the John Wayne classic, True Grit. Wayne won his only Oscar for his performance of an aging cowboy."
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