Frank - Changes
Frank took another slug from the cheap plastic bottle of cheap alcohol and lay back on what was his bed as of late, watching the colors and shapes on the television. The sound was off, and Frank tried to imagine their dialogue through the vague haze of alcohol. Watching what was apparently a happy couple talking over some sort of plot point
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Comments 2
My, that's a cheep cheep bottle, so cheep I expect it to peep! (Yes, I misspelled mine on purpose)
... I'm confused, was Frank taken to Arcadia twice? You seem to start out in the present, and talk about how he had given up on things to join the Scarecrow. Then you seem to drift to the past, and then back to the present without any deliniation of time. I can't tell if Mackenzie was someone he knew before he was taken or if they are a PC?
The world was much the same when that which had been Frank and once called itself by the name given from two loving parents.
This sentance is a mouthful... and I think I understand what you're saying, but it could be less complicated and more clear.
... and there is abuse of parentheses that we have already discussed.
The end is good, the last four or five paragraphs are really compelling. I don't know much about your character or the game, but I want to know more ;)
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