Frank - Changes
Frank took another slug from the cheap plastic bottle of cheap alcohol and lay back on what was his bed as of late, watching the colors and shapes on the television. The sound was off, and Frank tried to imagine their dialogue through the vague haze of alcohol. Watching what was apparently a happy couple talking over some sort of plot point brought his thoughts to Mack. Mack, who had brought him out of more than a decade being away from people and seen him in some of his worst times.
Feeling I've been lost for years
You can never understand me
Unless you've seen those tears
But you never get to sleep
When I'm away
I don't mind
The deeper that you lay
Out of time
Pain, I can't sleep
Pain, I can't sleep
Frank had given up all hope for some kind of better life when he decided to join the Scarecrow. Protecting people from the dark things in the night had meant protecting those he cared for: his parents, his old friends on the force, his secret... The person he had been became Frank Wrench, and he had gone into a darker world with no illusions about living a longer life. The painkillers taken from the back injury helped him in just drifting, and the adrenaline, alcohol and work that needed doing filled his time. He helped others train and learn, making some friendships and even occasional lovers, but never even aware of the growing emptiness.
And then, he met Mackenzie.
Running, running from those days
There's another one inside me
Guess I've gone insane
But you always run away
When I come around
I don't mind
The day I'll track you down
Run you down
During the worst of the debacle that was Atlantic City, Mackenize found him and saw something more. She had given Frank sweet words of succor and showed him a mercy he could not fathom existing, let alone be something for him. More, she embraced him completely, all he was and had been. The nightmares became less, and the edge was lost on memories as he was able to confide his secrets. For the first time, Frank considered the possiblity that there could be something more. He asked her for a future he had consciously denied himself, and she accepted without condition or reprobation.
And then he was taken.
Pain, I can't sleep
Pain, I can't sleep
Frank had only fragments from the few papers he had had or found over There and the shards of memory he still possessed, but the thought of Mack, the dreams of her had given him something more. He had quieted the darkness in his soul that was fed by That Place with the thoughts of her, of the life that they would have once he escaped. That he would escape was never in question; he had made a promise to her and he would honor that oath.
Don't stop, don't talk
Do not fuck with me
Do not fuck with me
The world was much the same when that which had been Frank and once called itself by the name given from two loving parents. He was changed, yes, but it only illuminated corners of the darkness previously unseen, gave weight to them. He tried to deny them, and sought out any word, but then he found that he was dead. The bit of his soul that had been taken had in some way found it's death, and was forever beyond him. He would never be what he was. He wanted to go to Mack, he yearned to talk to her out of what had become instinct and lie in her arms as he made it go away. But gradually, he realized that he never could.
Frank had tried to deny it, turned to an increasing amount of alcohol and other distractions to dull, but he thought about what he might do next more and more. He observed those who, in his time amongst the now-defunct Scarecrow, would have been put down for the good of all (for he had never gone after someone just because they were Other) be accepted or at least tolerated. Frank had seen a child not even grown to manhood hunger after the blood of humanity, of his own parents, while others made apologies and suggusted that he was trying to learn. He had seen innocents forever twisted by their experiences, heard of loved ones taken and murdered merely by association. Frank had seen the slaver markets; all that and more.
He had, finally, come to a conclusion. To expose Mackenzie would only bring her greater risk and pain, would not let her move on with her life and bring her into a darkness that might break her under it's strain. How could he hate her so much, to marry her to the monster he had become (because he was a monster now, and nothing could dent that)? Hate her enough to put her through the dark shards of nightmare he only vaguely remembered, or something even remotely similar?
No. Years ago, Frank had made a decision to end any chance of a human life, a happy life, or a future. He had found a one-in-the-world chance with Mackenzie, and been given more joy than he had any right to have. Frank had been wrong to try embracing that; he had brought her pain and himself suffering beyond it by being taken, by being what he had been. Better to have just kept her away and embraced the darkness.
It came in a crystal moment of clarity that cut through the alcohol and the painkillers and the agony that never really went away: this was what he had chosen. This, where he was, was the life he had made a concious decision to lead no matter what the results. Now, he was just a result, but that didn't change the mission. The wrath grew in him, but he saw the calm center within.
Loaded, loaded up this gun
There's a killer in me
Hoping, hope that you're the one
But you always run away
When I come around
I don't mind
The day I'll track you down
Terrify
There was no reason to try to ape life anymore. He had given that up years ago; now he would simply go on until he was finally ended. Certainly, he would have to find a way to not become a threat to humanity at large, but for now? Frank knew what he was, and he accepted it. The anger, the agony of it grew inside as Frank stood and just shrugged off the blessed lethargy of alcohol before the pain was drunk in to fuel the wrath. He was what he was, and there were murderous *things* that had destroyed the fragile lives of others because they could.
Frank gathered up his things, and headed for the door. It was time to find Jason, and at least end this particular threat. To do nothing would just be...wrong. He was a monster, but he wasn't that sort of monster.
Pain, I can't sleep
Pain, I can't sleep
Pain, I can't sleep
Yet.
Feeling I've been lost for years
You can never understand me
Unless you've seen those tears
But you never get to sleep
When I'm away
I don't mind
The deeper that you lay
Out of time
Pain, I can't sleep
Pain, I can't sleep
Frank had given up all hope for some kind of better life when he decided to join the Scarecrow. Protecting people from the dark things in the night had meant protecting those he cared for: his parents, his old friends on the force, his secret... The person he had been became Frank Wrench, and he had gone into a darker world with no illusions about living a longer life. The painkillers taken from the back injury helped him in just drifting, and the adrenaline, alcohol and work that needed doing filled his time. He helped others train and learn, making some friendships and even occasional lovers, but never even aware of the growing emptiness.
And then, he met Mackenzie.
Running, running from those days
There's another one inside me
Guess I've gone insane
But you always run away
When I come around
I don't mind
The day I'll track you down
Run you down
During the worst of the debacle that was Atlantic City, Mackenize found him and saw something more. She had given Frank sweet words of succor and showed him a mercy he could not fathom existing, let alone be something for him. More, she embraced him completely, all he was and had been. The nightmares became less, and the edge was lost on memories as he was able to confide his secrets. For the first time, Frank considered the possiblity that there could be something more. He asked her for a future he had consciously denied himself, and she accepted without condition or reprobation.
And then he was taken.
Pain, I can't sleep
Pain, I can't sleep
Frank had only fragments from the few papers he had had or found over There and the shards of memory he still possessed, but the thought of Mack, the dreams of her had given him something more. He had quieted the darkness in his soul that was fed by That Place with the thoughts of her, of the life that they would have once he escaped. That he would escape was never in question; he had made a promise to her and he would honor that oath.
Don't stop, don't talk
Do not fuck with me
Do not fuck with me
The world was much the same when that which had been Frank and once called itself by the name given from two loving parents. He was changed, yes, but it only illuminated corners of the darkness previously unseen, gave weight to them. He tried to deny them, and sought out any word, but then he found that he was dead. The bit of his soul that had been taken had in some way found it's death, and was forever beyond him. He would never be what he was. He wanted to go to Mack, he yearned to talk to her out of what had become instinct and lie in her arms as he made it go away. But gradually, he realized that he never could.
Frank had tried to deny it, turned to an increasing amount of alcohol and other distractions to dull, but he thought about what he might do next more and more. He observed those who, in his time amongst the now-defunct Scarecrow, would have been put down for the good of all (for he had never gone after someone just because they were Other) be accepted or at least tolerated. Frank had seen a child not even grown to manhood hunger after the blood of humanity, of his own parents, while others made apologies and suggusted that he was trying to learn. He had seen innocents forever twisted by their experiences, heard of loved ones taken and murdered merely by association. Frank had seen the slaver markets; all that and more.
He had, finally, come to a conclusion. To expose Mackenzie would only bring her greater risk and pain, would not let her move on with her life and bring her into a darkness that might break her under it's strain. How could he hate her so much, to marry her to the monster he had become (because he was a monster now, and nothing could dent that)? Hate her enough to put her through the dark shards of nightmare he only vaguely remembered, or something even remotely similar?
No. Years ago, Frank had made a decision to end any chance of a human life, a happy life, or a future. He had found a one-in-the-world chance with Mackenzie, and been given more joy than he had any right to have. Frank had been wrong to try embracing that; he had brought her pain and himself suffering beyond it by being taken, by being what he had been. Better to have just kept her away and embraced the darkness.
It came in a crystal moment of clarity that cut through the alcohol and the painkillers and the agony that never really went away: this was what he had chosen. This, where he was, was the life he had made a concious decision to lead no matter what the results. Now, he was just a result, but that didn't change the mission. The wrath grew in him, but he saw the calm center within.
Loaded, loaded up this gun
There's a killer in me
Hoping, hope that you're the one
But you always run away
When I come around
I don't mind
The day I'll track you down
Terrify
There was no reason to try to ape life anymore. He had given that up years ago; now he would simply go on until he was finally ended. Certainly, he would have to find a way to not become a threat to humanity at large, but for now? Frank knew what he was, and he accepted it. The anger, the agony of it grew inside as Frank stood and just shrugged off the blessed lethargy of alcohol before the pain was drunk in to fuel the wrath. He was what he was, and there were murderous *things* that had destroyed the fragile lives of others because they could.
Frank gathered up his things, and headed for the door. It was time to find Jason, and at least end this particular threat. To do nothing would just be...wrong. He was a monster, but he wasn't that sort of monster.
Pain, I can't sleep
Pain, I can't sleep
Pain, I can't sleep
Yet.