After he and Peter had parted ways, and some time after he'd made a mess of his hotel room, Neal had his talk with Mozzie. His friend was frustrated, to say the least, but also had really seen it coming. The suit had found Neal like it was his job, which it apparently no longer was. Neal only got by because of the fondness Moz seemed to have for Elizabeth. Hearing what the Burkes had gone through and how it must have been killing El was about the only way Neal kept from having a vase thrown at his chest when he said he was going back on the con.
So he'd kept his job with the Smithsonian for another few weeks, and a few after that. Life as Michael Stanton wasn't glorious but with the Hope Diamond secure, so was his job. No one went digging into his background and the forgeries stuck. It wasn't an honest living entirely, but it was as close as he could get. He'd promised Peter no heist and that's what Peter got. Beyond that, he was going to have to learn to understand, if he didn't already
( ... )
"Everybody wants this guy, so you're going to have to make a pretty competitive offer."
The back and forth was almost as natural as breathing, at least with Peter. Taking a drink of champagne, the smile on his face only broadened. Soon things would be back to where they had been. His life wouldn't be turned upside down and he didn't need to be ashamed of being Neal Caffrey publicly. That was such a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
"If not the best. Do you have any idea how hard I had to work to get him to come around? You're going to have to make me a good deal Burke."
“Oh, I have lots of resources at my disposal.” He smiled and reached out, taking a long sip of his beer. “Hmm, I don’t know. What does your guy want? Maybe I can put a competitive offer on the table.” He chuckled into the phone.
It was just different. He didn’t have this kind of banter with anyone else. Not El. Not Diana. He knew Neal better than anyone else. “Oh really? Tell me how hard you’ve been working. This, I gotta hear.”
"First I had to talk him out of those hideous suits he'd grown to love." No, really, the suits are a hundred times worse than Peter's ever were. "Then I had to convince him that there was an amazing view in New York. He claimed he wasn't big on views but..."
Pretty much, there hadn't been work to convince himself. There had been fears, doubts, and an intense amount of internal fighting but all of that had been to overcome the apprehension. While Neal would joke, that was the true hard work he'd done. Being the man instead of the con was his greatest challenege to date.
"I think you could convince him with the promise of a friend he can trust."
That part is said softly, with emphasis. He hoped Peter got his point. Peter was the only person, to date, that had never left him or betrayed him.
“Oh, there is nothing wrong with hideous suits.” He chuckled and got up from his chair. Slowly, he began to pace around his office. “Oh, there’s a beautiful view. June’s has a nice view. And then there’s this little house with a dog and a backyard I think you’d enjoy.” His head tilted to the side and he smirked.
He’s glad that not much convincing had to be done. He pauses, biting his bottom lip. "Tell your man that he has a friend here waiting for him. A man that is not only a friend, but he'd take a bullet for him. He loves him that much."
Love. That was a word Neal knew a plethora about and yet it always made him run. Or want to run. See, the problem with Neal and love is everyone that's ever loved him has died, been hurt, or left him. Even love in that friendly sort of way had been hard to come by, with Moz being the only person he could even half way rely on in the last several years. So hearing Peter say it, no matter how he meant it, made him freeze. In a way, he was glad Peter couldn't see him now. What damaged goods he was.
After a long swallow of too much champagne and dragging a hand over his face, Neal's response was soft.
"I think he already knows. But... hearing it probably didn't hurt." Silence. "You know Peter, he'd do the same too."
It's far easier to talk about himself in the third person than actually adress his feelings. Sorry Peter, Neal does have some growing up to do in some ways.
Love was a word Peter didn't throw around lightly. He knew what saying it to Neal might mean. Especially after Kate and Sara. The hesitation and silence is like a long crevice to him that he wants to just bury himself in. He inwardly winces, kicking himself for saying it. Especially not in person.
"I'm glad to hear that. There are very few people that I trust with my life. There are two at the top of the list. Him and my wife." Yes, he ranked Neal right up there with El. He felt awkward about the third person but he'd be willing to put up with it.
Feeling wanted, needed, that was something Peter had given Neal during his time in the FBI, both in the field and out of it. Losing everything he'd had in Manhattan had nearly killed Neal Caffrey for good and it was lucky it was Peter who tried to save him before it was too late. Listening to those words, hearing Peter say what he'd said a few rare times before, Neal couldn't help but smile.
When he spoke again, it was soft and just a bit bashful.
"Well he's done a passable job keeping you alive so far. I'll make sure he keeps it up."
Praise from Peter was always welcomed but sincerity like that always had Neal out of sorts.
It wasn't just Peter. Neal had made him feel wanted too. He would never forget what Neal had said to him so long ago. He had been drugged, which meant it was the most honest he'd ever be. And he said some pretty truthful things. It made him feel wanted too.
"Please do. Without your man in my life, I've been a complete wreck."
Moving back over to his chair, he sat down and took a long chug of his beer. He meant every kind word he had said. And the things he hadn't said too.
"Yeah, I think you need him around to help keep you in line."
Another drink and another real smile back in his voice. It wasn't obvious, but Neal missed Peter. Knowing he'd be back to his old life, his real life in just a few days felt as unreal as the thought of owning the Hope Diamond until Peter had called him earlier that day. Moving from where he was sitting, Neal sat on the edge of his bed and kicked off his 'Michael Stanton' shoes.
"Oh, as long as he doesn't try to handcuff me. I've been kidnapped enough with him, thank you." He laughed into the phone. Finally, his head tilted to the side and he got a little deep through the phone.
"I know you won't let me down. I have faith in you, Neal." He sighed. "I can't wait till you're back here. Damnit, this week needs to be over yesterday." The tension crept out in his voice.
Not that Neal cared in the least, but Peter didn't tend to talk like that unless he was frustrated or angry. After another swallow so he could refill his glass, Neal set the flute down for a minute. Shifting, he made sure he had the phone comfortable before continuing. There was unmasked concern in his tone.
"Is everything okay? You're usually all about the patience game, a few days should be nothing right?" Wasn't it Peter that was always telling him to take his time and think things through and blah blah patience blah?
"From the man who uses it on occasion as well. And trust me, I could say a lot worse. This time, I'm not even mad at you." He chuckled into the phone, but there was a hint of tightness to his voice. "I am a man who can cuss at on occasion."
He sighed into the phone. "Yes, well, I'm impatient this time." Reaching out, he pounded a fist on his desk. "I just..." He bit his lip. "It's nothing. I just... I'll feel better when you're here, Neal."
"The you not being mad at me part is always nice." Neal wasn't smiling though. Hearing that strain in Peter's voice hurt. "Peter..."
And then he could hear Peter lose his temper on the other end before claiming nothing was wrong. Well, a man of many secrets, he couldn't blame his friend for not being entirely expressive. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, his voice was softer when he spoke again.
"I'll be there before the weekend is out. Monday morning we can stroll on into Hughes office and watch Kramer have an aneurysm."
"I hate secrets, Neal." He reached out, rubbing his hand. "Ow." He winced, biting his bottom lip as he did it. "I'm not mad at you." It strained him to not say anything, but he was too scared. What if anything he felt wasn't reciprocated. And it wasn't something he hadn't planned to discuss over the phone. He wanted to do it in person.
"I don't give a shit what Kramer wants. I don't care if I ever see him again. I am so sick of finding out that there are Agents that are dirty in my organization. They're hypocrites, Neal. They sit there and piously point fingers at you when they're just as criminal." It really pissed him off. "They have no right to judge someone I care about."
"Then we'll flush him out Peter. We'll prove him to be what he is and get him kicked out. And then I'll prove that I'm exactly what you've said to them all."
Neal wanted to be a good man. He wanted to be a man Peter would continue to want in his life. At this point Neal has lost everyone that mattered in his life. Losing Peter wasn't an option. Damnit, Moz was right. The suit was in his head. All the time.
"We won't let him get the upper hand again. Isn't that what you said when we talked last? We can do this."
So he'd kept his job with the Smithsonian for another few weeks, and a few after that. Life as Michael Stanton wasn't glorious but with the Hope Diamond secure, so was his job. No one went digging into his background and the forgeries stuck. It wasn't an honest living entirely, but it was as close as he could get. He'd promised Peter no heist and that's what Peter got. Beyond that, he was going to have to learn to understand, if he didn't already ( ... )
Reply
The back and forth was almost as natural as breathing, at least with Peter. Taking a drink of champagne, the smile on his face only broadened. Soon things would be back to where they had been. His life wouldn't be turned upside down and he didn't need to be ashamed of being Neal Caffrey publicly. That was such a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
"If not the best. Do you have any idea how hard I had to work to get him to come around? You're going to have to make me a good deal Burke."
Reply
It was just different. He didn’t have this kind of banter with anyone else. Not El. Not Diana. He knew Neal better than anyone else. “Oh really? Tell me how hard you’ve been working. This, I gotta hear.”
Reply
Pretty much, there hadn't been work to convince himself. There had been fears, doubts, and an intense amount of internal fighting but all of that had been to overcome the apprehension. While Neal would joke, that was the true hard work he'd done. Being the man instead of the con was his greatest challenege to date.
"I think you could convince him with the promise of a friend he can trust."
That part is said softly, with emphasis. He hoped Peter got his point. Peter was the only person, to date, that had never left him or betrayed him.
Reply
“Oh, there is nothing wrong with hideous suits.” He chuckled and got up from his chair. Slowly, he began to pace around his office. “Oh, there’s a beautiful view. June’s has a nice view. And then there’s this little house with a dog and a backyard I think you’d enjoy.” His head tilted to the side and he smirked.
He’s glad that not much convincing had to be done. He pauses, biting his bottom lip. "Tell your man that he has a friend here waiting for him. A man that is not only a friend, but he'd take a bullet for him. He loves him that much."
Reply
After a long swallow of too much champagne and dragging a hand over his face, Neal's response was soft.
"I think he already knows. But... hearing it probably didn't hurt." Silence. "You know Peter, he'd do the same too."
It's far easier to talk about himself in the third person than actually adress his feelings. Sorry Peter, Neal does have some growing up to do in some ways.
Reply
"I'm glad to hear that. There are very few people that I trust with my life. There are two at the top of the list. Him and my wife." Yes, he ranked Neal right up there with El. He felt awkward about the third person but he'd be willing to put up with it.
Reply
When he spoke again, it was soft and just a bit bashful.
"Well he's done a passable job keeping you alive so far. I'll make sure he keeps it up."
Praise from Peter was always welcomed but sincerity like that always had Neal out of sorts.
Reply
"Please do. Without your man in my life, I've been a complete wreck."
Moving back over to his chair, he sat down and took a long chug of his beer. He meant every kind word he had said. And the things he hadn't said too.
Reply
Another drink and another real smile back in his voice. It wasn't obvious, but Neal missed Peter. Knowing he'd be back to his old life, his real life in just a few days felt as unreal as the thought of owning the Hope Diamond until Peter had called him earlier that day. Moving from where he was sitting, Neal sat on the edge of his bed and kicked off his 'Michael Stanton' shoes.
Enough not being Neal Caffrey.
"Peter? I won't let you down. I promise you."
Reply
"I know you won't let me down. I have faith in you, Neal." He sighed. "I can't wait till you're back here. Damnit, this week needs to be over yesterday." The tension crept out in his voice.
Reply
Not that Neal cared in the least, but Peter didn't tend to talk like that unless he was frustrated or angry. After another swallow so he could refill his glass, Neal set the flute down for a minute. Shifting, he made sure he had the phone comfortable before continuing. There was unmasked concern in his tone.
"Is everything okay? You're usually all about the patience game, a few days should be nothing right?" Wasn't it Peter that was always telling him to take his time and think things through and blah blah patience blah?
Reply
He sighed into the phone. "Yes, well, I'm impatient this time." Reaching out, he pounded a fist on his desk. "I just..." He bit his lip. "It's nothing. I just... I'll feel better when you're here, Neal."
Reply
And then he could hear Peter lose his temper on the other end before claiming nothing was wrong. Well, a man of many secrets, he couldn't blame his friend for not being entirely expressive. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, his voice was softer when he spoke again.
"I'll be there before the weekend is out. Monday morning we can stroll on into Hughes office and watch Kramer have an aneurysm."
Reply
"I don't give a shit what Kramer wants. I don't care if I ever see him again. I am so sick of finding out that there are Agents that are dirty in my organization. They're hypocrites, Neal. They sit there and piously point fingers at you when they're just as criminal." It really pissed him off. "They have no right to judge someone I care about."
Reply
Neal wanted to be a good man. He wanted to be a man Peter would continue to want in his life. At this point Neal has lost everyone that mattered in his life. Losing Peter wasn't an option. Damnit, Moz was right. The suit was in his head. All the time.
"We won't let him get the upper hand again. Isn't that what you said when we talked last? We can do this."
Reply
Leave a comment