Hey girl! Welcome to Lj! Your story parallels mine so much...I too am a shorty and was always 100 pounds in highschool....then college came around and I gained the sophomore 30!!! I have been EDnos for about 6 years and it has consumed my life...it sucks, I hate it, it wins. If you ever need anything my box and email are always open. Stay Strong.
I know where you're coming from. I bounced between odd food tendencies all my life. Fat, skinny, fat, skinny. I didn't have a clue that what I was doing was in any way bizarre. My family never commented on it. However, I urge you to try and help yourself before this gets any worse. Once I realized what I was doing and embraced it, it became a monster inside of me and I found I couldn't stop. Right now is your best chance for recovery. Recognition of a problem and the CLARITY to realize you might need to get better. If not... well sweetie, hello, and I'm available for support. Stay safe. <3Wren
My mom used to do strict diets all the time to lose weight...never got to the size she wanted to. Then she developed chrohn's disease about 2 years ago. Everything she eats (which she isn't allowed to eat barely anything) is out of her system 30 mins later. When I saw her last, she commented on how good I looked from losing weight (I lost about 15 lbs in 2 months) and told me to keep up the good work. It's not that I don't eat..I just don't eat a lot. I don't get hungry, I just eat. I know I'm under 1,000 cals a day. Some days I doubt I even hit 700.
i don't even think about alchohol in the evening and only drink if I am going out socializing. i still probably drink too much occasionally, but it is sooo much easier to stick to a healthy diet and exercise plan when you aren't drinking as much. i got fed up with how hard it made it to lose weight, how crap it made me feel, how false the 'highs' were, how much it killed my motivation to exercise, how it cost so much, how it led to regrets etc. i say best of luck with it, it is really not that big a deal :]
I only drink when I go out...which isn't a lot! Or if I'm bartending & have it bought for me. We're limited 2 shots the whole evening though, so I don't get too drunk when I work. I'm a lightweight either way, I just know a standard beer is 100 cals! Makes me question what liquor is.
Wow! This is all crazy, but good news because I finally found someone like me =)
My bf lierally couldn't gain weight. So now he's taking all sorts of stuff from bodybuilding.com. I haven't seen him for a few weeks and know he's going to comment on my size next weekend when we go on a float trip for his bday. The thought of being in a bikini the whole weekend is amazing...only I wish I was thinner. I don't know over 1/2 the people we are going with...and really hope I'm not surrounded by skinny bitches who stuff their face with greasy junk food the whole trip, ha ha.
The only friend that knows I have weird habits is my friend Nicole (which I mentioned in my entry). And she hasn't told me I worry her since I was a fresh in college. I joined LJ because I cant talk to anyone about it. I rarely see her, but we talk a lot in text msgs and on the phone. If she saw me, I'd get the 3rd degree I'm sure.
Isn't that the most annoying thing?! When you see these tiny people with perfect bodies eating whatever they want like it doesn't matter. I wish I could do that.. just eat whatever I want and look perfect.. but that's just not reality.
I'm really happy you joined too. When I actually post regularly (which, like I said, was about two years ago) I usually am drawn to only a few people that I really talk to regularly. I feel like you are going to be one of those people :]
Good luck and have fun on your float trip! I'm sure you will look amazing in your bikini :] I hate wearing bikini's at my current weight... By the time I get to my GW bikini season will probably be over :[
I am going on a cruise thing tonight on a lake for my fiance's job. I think it's just a couple hour thing with drinks and food, but we just dress normally. I think I might just wear a pencil skirt and a cute top if it's warm enough... and obviously try to stay away from the fatty McFattening food.
Well I'm an internet weirdo -- since I have a night job (bartending)! So I'll be on here throughout the day, here and there to check up on things
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If you ever need anything my box and email are always open.
Stay Strong.
Reply
I bounced between odd food tendencies all my life.
Fat, skinny, fat, skinny.
I didn't have a clue that what I was doing was in any way bizarre. My family never commented on it.
However, I urge you to try and help yourself before this gets any worse.
Once I realized what I was doing and embraced it, it became a monster inside of me and I found I couldn't stop.
Right now is your best chance for recovery.
Recognition of a problem and the CLARITY to realize you might need to get better.
If not... well sweetie, hello, and I'm available for support.
Stay safe.
<3Wren
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i look forward to reading your journal entries.
ever need to talk, im always here.
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My bf lierally couldn't gain weight. So now he's taking all sorts of stuff from bodybuilding.com. I haven't seen him for a few weeks and know he's going to comment on my size next weekend when we go on a float trip for his bday. The thought of being in a bikini the whole weekend is amazing...only I wish I was thinner. I don't know over 1/2 the people we are going with...and really hope I'm not surrounded by skinny bitches who stuff their face with greasy junk food the whole trip, ha ha.
The only friend that knows I have weird habits is my friend Nicole (which I mentioned in my entry). And she hasn't told me I worry her since I was a fresh in college. I joined LJ because I cant talk to anyone about it. I rarely see her, but we talk a lot in text msgs and on the phone. If she saw me, I'd get the 3rd degree I'm sure.
So YAY now I'm really glad I joined!! =)
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I'm really happy you joined too. When I actually post regularly (which, like I said, was about two years ago) I usually am drawn to only a few people that I really talk to regularly. I feel like you are going to be one of those people :]
Good luck and have fun on your float trip! I'm sure you will look amazing in your bikini :] I hate wearing bikini's at my current weight... By the time I get to my GW bikini season will probably be over :[
I am going on a cruise thing tonight on a lake for my fiance's job. I think it's just a couple hour thing with drinks and food, but we just dress normally. I think I might just wear a pencil skirt and a cute top if it's warm enough... and obviously try to stay away from the fatty McFattening food.
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