Ok... soooo here are our scary similarities (with some minor diffs, obviously):
1) My fiance is tall and skinny and can eat WHATEVER he wants. We got a Bowflex bc he wanted to "bulk up" for me. I complain to him all the time that I'm fat and he hates hearing it. He tells me I'm sexy and that I have a distorted image of myself. When we first started dating 4 years ago, I was at the peak of my ED (when I was 101 at 5'4") and he thought I was beautiful and always told me how he loved my flat stomach :[ I eventually told him about my ED, though. I eventually got "better" with his help, but he has no idea I am relapsing. Right now he thinks I'm "dieting."
2) I was think throughout highschool and literally gained the freshman 15.I think I remember being 127 at my heaviest. My sophomore year of college is when I became obsessed with restricting and eventually got down to 101.
3) Over the past year is when I have gained all of my weight back (currently 123). I tend to eat whenever I"m not hungry and end up binging on junk food in front of the TV when my fiance is gone, and I'm all alone. I disgust myself. The year previous to that I would usually very between 112-120 as well.
4) I, however, don't have any friends that know I have an ED. When I got really tiny while in college, there were rumors going around in my group of friends that I had become anorexic, but I always denied it and just told everyone I was dealing with an illness.
I think that's about it, lol. Sorry it was so long, but when I read your post I was shocked with the similarities.
Right now I am also battling on what the best way to lose weight is. I also don't want to be sickly thin.. just thin enough to feel beautiful and not hate my reflection in the mirror.
This is getting really long, so I will stop for mow. I really look forward to talking with you :]
Wow! This is all crazy, but good news because I finally found someone like me =)
My bf lierally couldn't gain weight. So now he's taking all sorts of stuff from bodybuilding.com. I haven't seen him for a few weeks and know he's going to comment on my size next weekend when we go on a float trip for his bday. The thought of being in a bikini the whole weekend is amazing...only I wish I was thinner. I don't know over 1/2 the people we are going with...and really hope I'm not surrounded by skinny bitches who stuff their face with greasy junk food the whole trip, ha ha.
The only friend that knows I have weird habits is my friend Nicole (which I mentioned in my entry). And she hasn't told me I worry her since I was a fresh in college. I joined LJ because I cant talk to anyone about it. I rarely see her, but we talk a lot in text msgs and on the phone. If she saw me, I'd get the 3rd degree I'm sure.
Isn't that the most annoying thing?! When you see these tiny people with perfect bodies eating whatever they want like it doesn't matter. I wish I could do that.. just eat whatever I want and look perfect.. but that's just not reality.
I'm really happy you joined too. When I actually post regularly (which, like I said, was about two years ago) I usually am drawn to only a few people that I really talk to regularly. I feel like you are going to be one of those people :]
Good luck and have fun on your float trip! I'm sure you will look amazing in your bikini :] I hate wearing bikini's at my current weight... By the time I get to my GW bikini season will probably be over :[
I am going on a cruise thing tonight on a lake for my fiance's job. I think it's just a couple hour thing with drinks and food, but we just dress normally. I think I might just wear a pencil skirt and a cute top if it's warm enough... and obviously try to stay away from the fatty McFattening food.
Well I'm an internet weirdo -- since I have a night job (bartending)! So I'll be on here throughout the day, here and there to check up on things =)
Which means you can count on me to be online if you're needing to talk ever! Especially if you're having a bad day and just need to vent.
My bikini issue is my mid section. God I hate my stomach. I walk on my tip toes (don't mean to) so I work out my legs all the time bartending, thank God. I'm really going to try all the snacks you told me will help my stomach.... anything to get me feeling better for only a DAY is worth the money!
If I know I'm going to be in a bikini, I'll fast the day before. Since I know I'm going to be in a bikini for a long time next week (we leave Thurs morning) I plan on doing crunches & Billy's Boot Camp Abs (check youtube...its' great!!!) Every day until then!
Hopefully I'll be so active on the trip (sweating helps too in the heat- being outside all time) that it'll help!!
P.S. I LOVEE pencil skirts!!! Try finding a cute striped topped that the stripes go up and down. Makes you look slimmer and taller =)
Well I'm really glad I will always have someone to talk to now :]
I probably won't be able to be on as much during the week because I work a normal shift. It also depends on when my fiance is home, too, because I obviously can't be on this site when he is home.
I'll obviously try to be on here as much as I can, though, because it helps me tons.
My problem is my midsection too. I have a little belly pouch that I can't get rid of.. when I finally do (it was almost gone when i was 101) then I have fat that sits on my hips.. oh the wonderful love handles. I have NO idea how to get rid of that.
You'll def lose some more weight while you are there, especially sicne you are going to bring your own snacks. Plus being active in the heat, like you said. I"m sure being in a bikini will be motivating in and of itself too!
Thanks for the advice on the top. I'll see what I can find! I absolutely hate clothing shopping, though, because I never like the way anything fits me :[
1) My fiance is tall and skinny and can eat WHATEVER he wants. We got a Bowflex bc he wanted to "bulk up" for me. I complain to him all the time that I'm fat and he hates hearing it. He tells me I'm sexy and that I have a distorted image of myself. When we first started dating 4 years ago, I was at the peak of my ED (when I was 101 at 5'4") and he thought I was beautiful and always told me how he loved my flat stomach :[ I eventually told him about my ED, though. I eventually got "better" with his help, but he has no idea I am relapsing. Right now he thinks I'm "dieting."
2) I was think throughout highschool and literally gained the freshman 15.I think I remember being 127 at my heaviest. My sophomore year of college is when I became obsessed with restricting and eventually got down to 101.
3) Over the past year is when I have gained all of my weight back (currently 123). I tend to eat whenever I"m not hungry and end up binging on junk food in front of the TV when my fiance is gone, and I'm all alone. I disgust myself. The year previous to that I would usually very between 112-120 as well.
4) I, however, don't have any friends that know I have an ED. When I got really tiny while in college, there were rumors going around in my group of friends that I had become anorexic, but I always denied it and just told everyone I was dealing with an illness.
I think that's about it, lol. Sorry it was so long, but when I read your post I was shocked with the similarities.
Right now I am also battling on what the best way to lose weight is. I also don't want to be sickly thin.. just thin enough to feel beautiful and not hate my reflection in the mirror.
This is getting really long, so I will stop for mow. I really look forward to talking with you :]
Reply
My bf lierally couldn't gain weight. So now he's taking all sorts of stuff from bodybuilding.com. I haven't seen him for a few weeks and know he's going to comment on my size next weekend when we go on a float trip for his bday. The thought of being in a bikini the whole weekend is amazing...only I wish I was thinner. I don't know over 1/2 the people we are going with...and really hope I'm not surrounded by skinny bitches who stuff their face with greasy junk food the whole trip, ha ha.
The only friend that knows I have weird habits is my friend Nicole (which I mentioned in my entry). And she hasn't told me I worry her since I was a fresh in college. I joined LJ because I cant talk to anyone about it. I rarely see her, but we talk a lot in text msgs and on the phone. If she saw me, I'd get the 3rd degree I'm sure.
So YAY now I'm really glad I joined!! =)
Reply
I'm really happy you joined too. When I actually post regularly (which, like I said, was about two years ago) I usually am drawn to only a few people that I really talk to regularly. I feel like you are going to be one of those people :]
Good luck and have fun on your float trip! I'm sure you will look amazing in your bikini :] I hate wearing bikini's at my current weight... By the time I get to my GW bikini season will probably be over :[
I am going on a cruise thing tonight on a lake for my fiance's job. I think it's just a couple hour thing with drinks and food, but we just dress normally. I think I might just wear a pencil skirt and a cute top if it's warm enough... and obviously try to stay away from the fatty McFattening food.
Reply
Which means you can count on me to be online if you're needing to talk ever! Especially if you're having a bad day and just need to vent.
My bikini issue is my mid section. God I hate my stomach. I walk on my tip toes (don't mean to) so I work out my legs all the time bartending, thank God. I'm really going to try all the snacks you told me will help my stomach.... anything to get me feeling better for only a DAY is worth the money!
If I know I'm going to be in a bikini, I'll fast the day before. Since I know I'm going to be in a bikini for a long time next week (we leave Thurs morning) I plan on doing crunches & Billy's Boot Camp Abs (check youtube...its' great!!!) Every day until then!
Hopefully I'll be so active on the trip (sweating helps too in the heat- being outside all time) that it'll help!!
P.S. I LOVEE pencil skirts!!! Try finding a cute striped topped that the stripes go up and down. Makes you look slimmer and taller =)
Reply
I probably won't be able to be on as much during the week because I work a normal shift. It also depends on when my fiance is home, too, because I obviously can't be on this site when he is home.
I'll obviously try to be on here as much as I can, though, because it helps me tons.
My problem is my midsection too. I have a little belly pouch that I can't get rid of.. when I finally do (it was almost gone when i was 101) then I have fat that sits on my hips.. oh the wonderful love handles. I have NO idea how to get rid of that.
You'll def lose some more weight while you are there, especially sicne you are going to bring your own snacks. Plus being active in the heat, like you said. I"m sure being in a bikini will be motivating in and of itself too!
Thanks for the advice on the top. I'll see what I can find! I absolutely hate clothing shopping, though, because I never like the way anything fits me :[
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