Glee Fic: Our Dirty Little Secret 7/7
Title: Our Dirty Little Secret
Author: wander_lust_79
Characters: Noah (Puck) Puckerman, Mrs. Hudson, Rachel Berry
Fandoms: Glee
Rating: M for innuendos
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, wish I did, or could at least be in an episode.
Summary: Puck gets an interesting phone call from Finn's mom. He kind of gets things all wrong, and humor insues. Thankfully Rachel's there in the end to set him straight. There are 7 parts total. Complete. Thank you to robynadele0406 and bostongirl2003 for being awesome betas!
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6
Rachel was silent for a minute before she started to giggle.
“What?” He asked when he heard her laughing, “She asked me to come over and clean her ‘pipes’.” He informed Rachel using air quotes for emphasis, “Then she kept dropping these little hints, making out of line comments, with hidden meanings.” He didn’t see what was so funny.
“Plus she had you come over to give her tips for when she comes over to have dinner with me and my family next week. She wants to make a good impression on my mom.” He was so serious.
Rachel was rolling in laughter now, clutching her sides to stop the pain. She had to get her breathing under control or she was gonna pass out. “Oh…god...Noah…please stop you’re killing me.” Her words punctuated with her giggles.
“It’s not funny Berry, it’s actually creepy if you think about it.” Puck had pulled over to the side of the road when Rachel began laughing. He turned straight ahead and crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance.
Rachel fought to get herself under control, “Noah, I’m sorry.” She told him as she reached out to put a reassuring hand on his crossed arms. “It’s just,” Rachel bit her lip, to hold her laughter back.
Puck turned to face her now, wanting to know what she knew that he didn’t, what was making this so hilarious for her.
“It’s just that, while I was shopping today, and ran into Mrs. Hudson,” she looked away, she knew Noah’s pride was going to be hurt with her next words and she felt guilty for laughing at him now, “she was shopping with her new boyfriend, Larry Schwartzman.” Again she bit her lip, this time in anticipation of Puck’s reactions.
His eyes went wide as he turned to look at her, “You mean Rabbi Schwartzman’s little bother?” He swallowed hard, how stupid could he be.
“Yes, that’s why she wanted to make such a good impression, she’s having dinner with the Rabbi at the end of Hanukah and she didn’t want to embarrass Larry. She pulled me aside and asked me for help.” Rachel looked down, feeling sorry for Noah.
She could see the blush creep across his face as realization dawned on him; his hands went out to grip his steering wheel. He was silent for a few seconds letting his stupidity wash over him. With a groan he dropped his head to his arms, wow he’d really misjudged this situation, what was wrong with him.
Rachel watched him for a bit not sure what she should do or say. She noticed his shoulder begin to shake and she began to panic, ‘Oh god, please tell me Noah Puckerman is not crying’.
But then Puck threw his head back and let out the loudest laugh she’d ever heard him express, a small smile spreading across her face, relieved he was finally seeing the humor of all this.
After a few minutes Puck dropped his head back on his head rest, gasping for a few steadying breaths. Rachel leaned forward and wiped away a few of the laughter tears that were rolling down his face.
“Oh god I needed that.” He told her honestly. “I haven’t laughed in so long.” All humor leaving his voice.
Rachel gave him a sweet sad smile. “Noah, I’m sorry about my part…”
He shook his head no, silencing her. “It’s done.” His eyes locked with hers, “Quinn and I shouldn’t have kept it quiet, we only hurt Finn more…” Noah looked away, out the driver’s side window, avoiding Rachel’s concerned stare. “I should get you home.” He said reaching for the gear shift to put the car in drive.
Rachel moved back to her seat in silence. The rest of the short car ride was made without another word being spoken. As Puck pulled up in front of Rachel’s house she undid her seat belt and slid out of the truck, “Thanks for the ride Noah.” She said without looking up at him.
He nodded, keeping his eyes straight ahead, “Yeah sure.” She moved to shut the door but his voice called her back, “oh and Rach, if you tell anyone about what I thought…” He let the threat hang in the air for a second before a smirk crossed his lips.
Rachel gave him her own devilish smile, “Don’t worry Noah it will be our dirty little secret!” She didn’t stick around to see the shocked looked that Noah was wearing as she made her way up the driveway to her front door.
The end. Feedback would be great! thanks!