(Untitled)

[countertopmagic]

ATTENTION DENIZENS OF THIS LAND.

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT YOU ARE SPENDING NEEDLESS HOURS IN THE KITCHEN WITH BULKY APPLIANCES. I HAVE COME TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR DAYS OF SLAVERY ARE AT AN END.

BEHOLD! I AM THE MAGIC BULLET AND I WILL ACCOMPLISH ANY CULINARY TASK IN TEN SECONDS OR LESS!

GIVE ME ALL YOUR INGREDIENTS! GIVE THEM TO ME. NOW!!

Comments

[theoncomingears]

TEN SECONDS OR LESS? JACK'LL BE PISSED SOMEONE'S FASTER THAN HIM.

[iwearafeznow]

SAY WHAT YOU MIGHT, YOU CANNOT HURT ME.

NEITHER CAN YOU DETRACT FROM MY AMUSEMENT AT MY OWN BANGS.

[countertopmagic]

I BLEND BANANAS! I PURÉE PINEAPPLES! I CHOP CHIVES! I GRIND GUAVAS WITH GUSTO!

[AHEM.]

YOU HAVE AN IMPRESSIVE WAY WITH WORDS, BALD HUMAN. PERHAPS I COULD MAKE YOU A SMALL BEVERAGE.

[theoncomingears]

*PUTS HIS HAND ON HIS HEAD* OI! I'M NOT BALD. NOW I DON'T WANT YOUR DINKY DRINK.

[countertopmagic]

VERY WELL! MORE FOR THE GENTLEMAN WITH THE BUCKET ON HIS HEAD!

[iwearafeznow]

IT'S NOT. A BUCKET.

[countertopmagic]

IT IS A VERY FETCHING NON-BUCKET.

[iwearafeznow]

THANK YOU.

I THINK.