(Untitled)

[countertopmagic]

ATTENTION DENIZENS OF THIS LAND.

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT YOU ARE SPENDING NEEDLESS HOURS IN THE KITCHEN WITH BULKY APPLIANCES. I HAVE COME TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR DAYS OF SLAVERY ARE AT AN END.

BEHOLD! I AM THE MAGIC BULLET AND I WILL ACCOMPLISH ANY CULINARY TASK IN TEN SECONDS OR LESS!

GIVE ME ALL YOUR INGREDIENTS! GIVE THEM TO ME. NOW!!

Comments

[theoncomingears]

TEN SECONDS OR LESS? JACK'LL BE PISSED SOMEONE'S FASTER THAN HIM.

[secretive_belle]

YES, I'M REALLY CURIOUS.

[tiemcockagent]

I THINK I'D HAVE TO SHOW YOU ...

[secretive_belle]

YOU WISH!

[countertopmagic]

DOES THIS "JACK" ALSO MAKE SALSA IN SIX SECONDS? [IRRITATED WHIRRING!]

[theoncomingears]

I THINK HE MIGHT. IF BY 'SALSA' YOU MEAN...

[countertopmagic]

...

...

...

GREAT GRINDERS, NO! WHAT IS WITH YOU FLESH-BASED LIFEFORMS AND YOUR EUPHEMISMS?

NO DELICIOUS DAIQUIRIS FOR YOU!

[theoncomingears]

BUT I LOVE DELICIOUS DAIQUIRIS! WHAT IF I APOLOGIZE WITH APPROPRIATE AMOUNTS OF ALLITERATION? DO YOU BLEND BANANAS?

[iwearafeznow]

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD BE NICER TO PEOPLE.

*SIPS SMOOTHIE*

[theoncomingears]

*MIMICKING VOICE* THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD BE NICER TO PEOPLE

*SMACK THE FEZ OFF ELEVEN'S HEAD, THEN GRINS* THAT WAS FUN

[iwearafeznow]

*IS SCANDALIZED FOR A MOMENT, THEN PULLS HIMSELF TOGETHER, COMFORTED BY THE THOUGHT THAT EVERYTHING NINE DOES TO HIM, HE WILL HAVE TO EXPERIENCE FOR HIMSELF ONE DAY*

WELL THAT WAS RATHER UNNECESSARILY CRUEL.

((WE NEED MORE DOCTORS IN HERE.))

[who_am_iii]

((YOU RANG?)

NO, IT SEEMS TO BE JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF CRUELTY FOR THIS ONE. HIS KNICKERS HAVE BEEN IN A TWIST EVER SINCE HE LOST ALL THIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR.

[iwearafeznow]

((YESSSS.))

*TWIRLS HAIR*

THERE IS SOMETHING RATHER FUN ABOUT IT, ISN'T THERE?

[theoncomingears]

*CROSSES HIS ARMS, RESISTING THE URGE TO RUB HIS HAIR* NO NEED FOR ALL THAT STUPID HAIR AFTER THE WAR. OR VELVET OR STUPID HATS.

[iwearafeznow]

*TOO DISTRACTED TWIRLING HIS HAIR TO NOTICE*

[theoncomingears]

YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL.