this is my prize-winning photo of a black hole, taken with the lens cap on.

[walkingshadow]

in which i ramble on and on and ON about stargate: atlantis, conveniently cut-tagged and labeled for your skimming and skipping pleasure!

Comments

[marythefan]

I haven't finished reading yet but I had to come down here already - because I'm metaphorically jumping in my seat with my hand in the air, going "oooh! ooooh!" :g: - to point out that Teyla is pretty horribly wrong about the Genii. Also, re: Letters to Pegasus, I didn't find her expectations of Sheppard to be strange given what she knows of him - why would she not expect him to do the same thing he did at a moment's notice for the Athosians? I wonder how much Teyla has to adjust her image of who John is in that episode because up 'til then, it's been built on those actions from Rising.

[walkingshadow]

ooh, the genii! though, hmm. i've never thought of the genii as being teyla's fault, mostly because i think of it as john and rodney's fault for stumbling on the secret underground hatch and then, you know, exploring it. though the genii were going to build a nuclear bomb with their c4—or try to—so i suppose their evil plans for galactic domination survival against the wraith who threaten us all would have come out sooner or later. do you remember if teyla seems to take responsibility for it at any point? i'll have to go back and watch

[erilyn]

The only problem with this post is that there are so many different things I want to agree with.

I actually came at the fandom at almost the opposite way. I too was resisting watching for quite a while (friends who were downloading loved it), but started watching when it started on tv here. I gradually fell for it, and then for the Sheppard/McKay too, and devoured the rest of season 1 on the computer, the rush partially so I could take a lot of fanfic away on holidays with me. So I'd read virtually no fanfic until I'd seen all of season 1.

But that obviously makes little difference, because my only problem with this post is that there are so many different things I want to agree with.

1. john as mathematician

Yes! As much as I enjoy it in some stories, it puzzles me.

2. john as rodney's personal on/off switch.I've wondered about this in fanfic, and do you think it be that people want to make more use of Sheppard's 'greater connection to Ancient tech' than the show actually has? But still, yes, gets more than a little

[erilyn]

Let's pretend I didn't put the same sentence into this reply twice, ok?

[walkingshadow]

i think the john-as-mathematician thing would be very, very cool (and in stories, it IS very cool), but i just do not see it on the show. and in that case it is puzzling, because there are so many other ways authors could dazzle us with john's smartness, but they choose math; i can only assume they're going on what his website bio says.

I've wondered about this in fanfic, and do you think it be that people want to make more use of Sheppard's 'greater connection to Ancient tech' than the show actually has?

huh, that's a distinct possibility. i know i love what people call john/atlantis fic, where he and the city bond, the city speaks to him, etc. it's a fascinating concept that i wish the writers of the show explored a little more, because i think some of the things we've seen regarding john and the tech could be interpreted that way, with a connection that john feels in new and possibly creepy or satisfying ways. but having mckay shove devices at him and demand he activate them? i just don't see it.

I love how he's all surface

[erilyn]

but having mckay shove devices at him and demand he activate them? i just don't see it.

Yeah, as with most things, there are stories that have scenes like that which the author makes work, but in a lot of stuff it comes across as lazy fanon.

why would they want to undo all that?

The inconsistent way they bounce McKay back and forth drives me nuts. I don't mind him being the butt of some jokes, that's been his role all along, but the way they sacrifice any character development for it makes me sad.

why does nobody on the show see that as a sinister thing, as a violation?

I really don't know. I didn't want to hate the character, but damn her actions bothered me, as did the way the show made light of them.

"trinity" was super-ambitious, and i like what they were trying to do, but at the same time they got so much *wrong*, like they got in their own way. or possibly the writers don't even register their own inconsistencies, which is disheartening to say the least.Yes, that's so it. I give them major points for trying (and for

[charlidos]

What a fantastic write-up and description of everything SGA! I've read and enjoyed every word. Your "portrait" of John, in particular, rings very true and it makes me want to crack him open, even more. Because me, I do believe there are secrets to be found there. He's probably been like this for while, yes, but I don't believe he has been forever. Then again, people who hide like that too long tend to lose themselves.

I thought the last episode Conversion even more accentuated how controlled John is. Not even turning into a bug made him lose (much) control or open up. He didn't even show any real distress. Just a very deep-seated sadness that made my heart break. He's just so alone.

I could comment on so much, but I'll spare you. Me being a complete stranger and all.

[walkingshadow]

thank you! and dude, please feel free to comment on anything at all.

oh god, i love john sheppard *so much* and there is so much going on inside his little head that he would like us never, ever to even get close to approaching. i just watched "conversion" and wow. WOW. it reminded me of "home", a situation where you expect to finally see something of him revealed, and instead he goes into lock-down mode and he's a thousand times more tightly controlled than ever.

He's probably been like this for while, yes, but I don't believe he has been forever. Then again, people who hide like that too long tend to lose themselves.hmm, probably not forever. but i don't think there was some catastrophic event in early childhood that convinced him to never share his heart with anyone. necessarily. that's such a good point about people like that losing themselves; i think that's what makes me skeptical of stories where rodney pokes a little and pokes a little, and then boom! floodgates open, john can share again, he's a real boy. not only *wouldn't

[charlidos]

No, there's no catastrophical event, I don't think so either. I think he's learned - most likely from his family (one common fanfic "explanation" is of course the stern military father, demanding strict control of feelings from his son) and the military - to be in control. He probably thinks it's his duty - particularly in Atlantis - to keep himself under wraps. That he as a leader shouldn't let anything distract him from his duties. At least, I think that contributes to the way he acts.

But still, he's human, he has feelings. The question is, can he bring them out? And when? I'm a rather big fan of the h/c-scenario, myself, where John - maybe drugged, in serious pain - just HAS to be vulnerable. And it's not about letting things hidden deep down out, it's just about being able to be weak and unguarded. I think that scenario IS possible. I just read this story which I think is a great example of how that could work. Rodney would just have to know to take advantage of the situation. :)

[walkingshadow]

He probably thinks it's his duty - particularly in Atlantis - to keep himself under wraps. That he as a leader shouldn't let anything distract him from his duties. At least, I think that contributes to the way he acts.

i think you put your finger on it there, with the military (and possibly a military father demonstrating and demanding closed-off emotions) and john's interpretation of what it means to be in the military, in command of troops (and now civilians), all contributing—exaggerating what i think was always a private personality. all that, *plus* whatever relationships went wrong, and whatever went down with his parents, and all the friends who died, created the uber-controlled john sheppard we see today. in my head it's always about nature + nurture.

i am a huge sucker for h/c fic. also for any fic that forces john outside of his control, e.g. under the influence of drugs/alien tech/telepathy. this story made me a little nervous though: i get sympathetically uncomfortable when we creep up on the line between making john