Less than a month until training camp and those FUCKERS at the dry cleaners lost my leather pants. I must have told them a MILLION FUCKING TIMES THAT SHIT IS CUSTOM MADE! It's going to take me a LEAST another month to get a new pair. People need to learn not to fuck with Wade Redden's shit.

Yeah that's right, I'm back. Your hero is here, again. For another two years ( Read more... )

Fuck me, at least my Western Canadian boys made it to the finals. Not that I really give a shit, cause hey, it's wasn't like I was out there ( but next year motherfuckers!! Wade Redden is getting some bling on the pimp hand!) but still, fuck, Western Canada ( Read more... )

Between you, me, and the lamp post, I would re-sign in a second if I just got some sort of assurance my teammates would STOP STEALING MY FUCKING HAIR GEL FROM MY LOCKER ALL FUCKING SEASON LONG.

You fucking moochers. Don't you know Wade Redden has an image to uphold?? Don't be fucking with the hair, bros.

That helped a lot.

Thanks everyone for your support through all this. Keep it real.

I'm just popping in to let you fools know I am still alive, I'm just busier and more popular than you clowns, because I am Wade Redden, and it's fucking awesome to be me.

I'm just so handsome and clever and popular and talented and successful.

Ok later and TO MY TEAMMATES:

WHO KEEPS TAKING THE POP TARTS OUT OF MY LOCKER????!?!??!?

*blink blink*

I'm still here, right??

I haven't been traded.

Fucking Neiler and his "Come on Reds, just have one more tequila shot. we're on SOUTH BEACH."

Oh my head.

Hey we beat the Panthers, right??

oh. well, shit.

Don't make me slap you, people.

If we lose to the Pens, someone is getting their balls shaved. That is my final word on the subject.

LISTEN TO ME BITCHES!!! ESPECIALLY YOU, ROOKIES.

WHEN CAPTAIN WADE SAYS HE WANTS TO SLEEP IN, NONE OF YOU BETTER EAT THE FUCKING MINIMUFFINS AT THE HOTEL BREAKFAST BAR BEFORE I GET THERE!!!! YOU KNOW MINI CHOCOLATE CHIP ARE MY FAVORITE!!!!

THAT MEANS YOU EAVES!!!!!!!!!! WHEN WADE REDDEN SAYS HE WANTS MINIMUFFINS, YOU ALL BETTER COWER IN FEAR.

DO NOT use Strawberry Quik as lube. Sure, it sounds funny and all, but nobody's laughing when the hives break out.

Hey can someone scratch my......

nevermind.