By Faith Alone. Chapter Four.
Written by: lady_lilith and lady_death.
Title: By Faith Alone. Chapter Four.
Fandom: National Hockey League.
Characters: Ed Jovanovski, Shane Doan, Todd Bertuzzi
Word Count: 3,075.
Rating: PG.
Summary: Jovo doesn't know how to deal with it.
Author's Notes: This is set December 02, 2007 in Pittsburgh, the day before the game.
"I can't be friends with you."
"Why?"
"Just, shut up. I can't. I won't. I've had it."
A little taken aback, "What did I do?"
"What don't you do?"
Sighs, "Is this about that again? I've explained to you--"
"Just shut up. You want to know what you do? You come in here and you smile like you've just been given the world, which makes your eyes fuckin' sparkle. You put your heart out on the line durin' the game, you drop your gloves with this little--you--you and the laugh and the way you look when you don't fuckin' approve of something with the crease right there, the way your mouth moves--- Just fuck off."
"I'm sorry."
"Just shut up Shane. If you apologise one more goddamn time, I'll put you through a damn wall."
Pause. "Maybe, maybe you're so frustrated because you know these feelings like that, they're not right."
"No, I'm so frustrated because you're a fuckin' cocktease!"
"I've never done that."
"Yes you have. God put you here to torture guys like me."
"That's not true."
"Yes, it is. Would it kill you to kiss me just once? Just for my own sanity so I can know?"
"I can't."
"I'm not asking you to cheat on anyone. Just once, you can tell me how I disgust you, it'll get through my thick fuckin' skull and I can get on with life."
"I'm not like that."
"Fine, you're the Captain, you go tell 'em I want a trade."
"What?"
"I want..." Breathes, calming, "I want a trade."
"Because I'm not like that?"
"Because I want to get the hell away from you."
"Do you see what this is doing to you? You would leave our team just because of this?"
"Your team."
"It's all of our team."
"I don't want a part of it, or you."
"You're letting this ruin your career."
"'This'." Scoffs, "What exactly is this?"
"This homosexuality."
"You can find a better word for it. What do you think I want?"
"That is what it is."
"Be a little more descriptive. What exactly do you think I want?"
"To kiss me."
"And?"
"That's all you've asked, recently."
"That's what you think this is about? Fucking you?"
Thrown off a little, "Yes."
Touches his hair, "Doesn't have anything to do with that."
Pulls back, "Please don't."
"I wasn't---I'm not gonna jump you." Breathes, "Just get me a trade."
Stepping back again, swallowing hard, "I'll talk to them."
"Shane." Shakes his head sadly, "I'm no threat to you."
"I'm-- I'm not like that."
"I know. I am." Takes a step back himself.
Sighs, "I'm sorry."
"I---" Swallows, "Don't fuckin' apologise."
"I thought--" A breath, "I thought you wanted to be my friend. Because when I say no to someone, well, that's that. Nothing else I can do for them, but you-- you still wanted to talk to me. I thought-- I'll see what I can do about that trade."
"I do, did want that. You should just--you should know it's got nothing to do with fucking."
"Then please stop asking me."
"Do you sleep with your wife?"
"What? Of course I do."
"Why?"
"Because I l--" Freezes, staring at him.
"Yeah, well there you go."
Stunned, still just staring at him.
"So you understand now? Understand why I can't take friends? You'll get me out of here."
Swallows, and eventually nods.
"Look, can I---I won't try anything. Can I just hug you?"
After a second, nods.
Steps forwards, slowly, like he'll bolt, shaking slightly from the tension, carefully puts his arms around him, sighing and closing his eyes. His hands staying out of trouble, just resting against his back.
Puts his arms around him, though he's very tense at first.
Pulls him just a little closer, but stays put, breathing him in slowly and not moving.
Tenses a little more at the movement, but then relaxes completely. Tightens his hold a little, into an actual hug now.
Holds on like that for as long as he can. Sighing, "I love you."
Silent for a long time, not moving. Quietly, "Thank you."
A weak smile, "Shut up, Shane. This is the part where I thank you." Untangles himself from him.
Keeps a hand on his shoulder, "You're a great guy. I see it as a compliment."
"Don't think too much about it, you'll hurt yourself."
Laughs, lightly. Pause, "Do you have to leave?"
"I don't think I can stay."
"I understand. I'll miss you. You took a big risk with what you said. And you've been very respectful to what I've said. I want to return the favour." Looks at him a minute and then touches his cheek gently, leaning in to kiss him, just a little more than lightly.
Relaxes, not pushing for more, his hand sliding up into his hair.
Holds him there for a moment longer before pulling away, looking to him for a reply.
"Still women, eh?"
Nods, with an apologetic smile.
"That's too bad. I'll see you around, kid." Turns away, fishing for his cellphone.
Sighs, watching him walk away.
"Yeah?"
"I'm fucked. I've been fucked before, but I've never been this fucked."
"What happened?"
"I asked for a trade."
"I thought the team was turning around?"
"I love him."
"What? You didn't tell him that."
"Yeah, I did."
"Fuckin' idiot."
"I told you I'm fucked."
"You got some time? Come out here."
"No, I'm in Pittsburgh. Where are you next week?"
"What the fuck are you doing out there? Uh, next week . . ." Pause. "Third and fourth? No fuck, that's like tomorrow. I'm home until Friday."
"That's good. We've got some home games, then it's a fuckin' two week road trip starting on Saturday."
"Yeah, whenever. Why'd you do that?"
"Beacuse I'm stupid and don't stick with my own kind. You hear that Todd? Always stick with you're own fuckin' kind."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm all stuck. But what jumped from last Friday? If that was in your head, I woulda noticed."
"I'm only fucking defenceman from now on."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"Two week road trip. I cannot fuckin' handle seeing him day in and day out like that. So I did the only fuckin' sensible thing, told him to piss off and take his friendship with him."
"You liked his friendship last week."
"I'm fucked because he doesn't shut up. He never listens to me when I tell him to shut the fuck up."
"What did he say?"
"I don't know. Questions, but he didn't get it, he didn't get it's got nothing to do with wanting to sleep with him."
"Don't explain it to me, I get it. But how'd you go from shut up and shove your friendship to 'I love you'?"
"Because he thought I wanted off the team because of this. Fuck him, fuck him the way he said it. But it's about love."
"This?"
"This, men fucking other men."
"Oh."
"Fuck, just fuck. Fuck this whole fuckin' team. You know why I liked him on Friday? Because he hadn't driven me completely fuckin' crazy yet."
"What changed?"
"I---oh."
"What?"
"Nothin'."
"Bullshit."
"Nothin'. Nothin' changed, just visited you."
"Me? What do I have to do with it?"
"Nothin'."
"Knock it off."
"It's between me and god."
"Give me a break."
"It's not my fault you're a fuckin' idiot."
"When the fuck did this turn on me?"
"If you don't know what your part in this is, I'm not telling you."
"And when did you become five fuckin' years old?"
"Damn it, Todd! Come on, I saw you, fuckin' figure it out."
"You saw me. We played a game. We ate. We talked. What?"
"Forget it."
"Blame it on the concussion. What?"
"Really Todd, I think I'm gonna keep some of my masculinity in tact today."
"Look, I won't say anything."
Laughs, "You won't need to tell anyone. Saw you, but I wasn't pinning for you, I was pinning for him."
"Oh. Oh. Well, fuck."
"Yeah, you dumb fuck."
"You never told me that."
"Well, isn't today good for this shit? I thought you knew."
"But we didn't have a thing, I was with Markus. Oh."
"Don't worry about it. That train came and went a while ago."
"No pun intended. But no, you said before that it would be easier if he had someone else."
"Yeah, that would have been the experience talking."
"Oh."
"Doesn't matter Todd." Laughs, "Don't flatter yourself, you're really not my problem anymore."
"Nah, it's just weird that I didn't know. Did he know before you went and told him?"
"No."
"You need to be more obvious about these things."
"I'm not his type."
"Yeah?"
"Likes 'em curvier and with fuller chests. Nature's just not helpin' me out there."
"Yeah, I wondered about that."
"Yup, it takes one Ed Jovanovski to find the only straight guy in the NHL."
"That sucks."
"Whatever. Tell Markus to stick Ohlie in a box and mail him to Phoenix."
"Will do. Still expecting you to get your ass out here. I have something that'd work."
"What are the specs?"
"D. Single. Fucks guys. What more do you want to know?"
"I'm heartbroken, not desperate."
"Rumour has it, so's he."
"Yeah name?"
"Beauchemin."
"He's French? Bon, je n'obtiens pas d'employer mon français du tout ici."
"Ja, jag veta din franske är sexig utom jag stilla icke gör det förstå den."
Laughs, "Je peux continuer à faire cette toute la nuit."
"Jag använda min svensk mer än du använda din franske. Vill du lek den här spel?"
"J'emploie mon Macédonien davantage que j'emploie mon français. Voulez que je commute ? Et je comprends plus suédois que vous comprenez le français."
"Yeah, not a fuckin' clue."
"Yeah, you should study that more."
"Why?"
"Because it's not a fun game when I win all the time."
"It gets boring. If you just gave up and learned Swedish like the rest of the civilised world, it wouldn't be an issue."
"I didn't have a good enough reason to learn Swedish."
"Find yourself one."
"If I find a Swede, he's learning English.'
Laughs, "Yeah, right."
"They've got ones in Detroit that seem to have managed it."
"They still spoke Swedish."
"But they don't need to."
"It's easier. It was the Czechs that were a pain in the ass."
"Are you gonna bitch about Slavs?"
"I think, oddly enough, I was going to compliment them, and bitch about their language. But I won't now."
"I'm gonna throw down on you when I visit."
"Bring it."
"You're overweight and out of practice. No contest."
"Me?"
"Yes, you, poor concussed Todd."
"No more ringing. And I'm still lighter than when I was at home."
"Uh huh, not when I saw you."
"Wishful thinking."
"And that was in person. The camera adds 15 pounds."
"You still wouldn't turn me down."
"I would if I could."
"You couldn't even if you wanted to."
"Would if I had somethin' worth turnin' you down for."
"What's better than me?"
"Oh how highly he thinks of himself now."
"I've always thought highly of myself."
"Maybe I will go get myself a Swede. I can shack up with Forsberg."
Laughs, "Go ahead. He's single."
"That was one of the seven wonders in the world, right there."
"What? Peter?"
"Markus choosing you. Come on, Nazzy have some better taste."
Laughs, "Have you fucked Peter?"
"Can't say that I have."
"Take my word for it. You'd pick me too."
"I know I'd pick you, but your wife already told me I have shit taste."
Laughs, "You do. But even the blind get one in the net every so often."
"Huh, better mend that hole then."
"Vad?"
"The hole I've got in that net."
"You need to pick out more like me."
"Oh god, no. That shit gets me in trouble."
"Maybe you should just be handed someone. C'mere, I'll give you Frankie."
"I'll fuck him, but I don't want hand outs."
"I'm gettin' you back on the path."
"This is more like off roading then The Path."
"You've been off roading and you make shitty choices. You can't make 'em anymore. I'll get Julie to find you people."
"Oh fuckin' hell is it that bad that I need to be set up by the wives?"
"She's slept with more of them than I have."
"It's okay, look I can find people to sleep with just fine."
"You make crappy choices."
"No, my one night stands are fuckin' amazing. When it comes to keepin' 'em, I make crappy choices."
"And you wanna keep one."
"Not everybody does."
"You do."
"Todd."
"Bullshit someone else."
"I've had enough preaching for one lifetime, don't you start shit too."
"I'm helping. Well, I'm not. Julie will."
"I don't need help. Unless it's professional."
"Yeah, you do."
"Shut up, asshole. Don't agree with me."
"Did I? Shit."
"I just---" Sighs.
"You just?"
"Neh, what's the point, eh?"
"Don't know until you finish the sentence."
"I just really liked him."
"And there's no chance, eh? 'Try it, maybe you'll like it'?"
"He could barely hug me. What bullshit is that anyway? How do you fall for a guy you've never even tried out?"
"When it's not about the sex."
"Like you can talk. You definitely tried first."
"Yeah, but who thought I'd be good with exclusive?"
"You practically were."
"I vividly remember fucking you."
"Special occasions."
"It happened. And you weren't the only one."
"Oh, now I'm hurt. Seriously, I'll lend you the girls for flowergirls, when the wedding bells ring."
"Too late."
"Too late?"
"We had a good summer."
"You suck Todd."
"Tack."
"I woulda gone to that."
"It was in Sweden."
"So? How many times does your best friend get married?"
"Twice, evidently."
"Whenever you get around to vow renewals, if you lose my invitation I'll be pissed."
"If there are four people is that one wedding or two?"
"Are you marrying each other or two and two?"
"Each other."
"Then it's one."
"So then technically once."
"Four people...wait, what?"
"Concussions recently?"
"Did Lotta marry you?"
"Yes, but I thought she had better taste than that all these years."
"Fuck you twice over. You took all the best women too, you bastard."
"They're not off the market, however."
"Because they have more sense than you."
"That's what I said. Thing is, I might be the only sap around here."
"Markus not goin' the distance?"
"Didn't ask."
"Why not?"
"No need to."
"News flash Todd, you've got a right to know."
"Yeah, but here's how I see it. I'm not goin' exclusive for Markus really. I'm doin' it because I don't want anyone else. If he wants other people, that's his thing."
"You are such a sap."
"I already said that."
"But now I believe you."
Laughs, "You didn't believe me when I said no?"
"Neh, that was the concussion talkin'."
"I was over it by last Friday."
"But look at me, nobody could resist this."
"That's why I don't get this asshole you've got there."
"He's not an asshole, he's different is all."
"Yeah, right. He's turnin' you down for Jesus."
"Well, if Jesus looks like Jim Caviezel."
"I would have fucked Jesus, but I'm not into the worshiping."
"Who said the disciples weren't doing both?"
"Someone shoulda written that down."
"It would have made the book even more of a best seller."
"And we'd have less assholes to deal with."
"Yeah. Maybe you and Markus'll come visit here if I have to stick around."
"Yeah, if we can."
Call waiting beeps.
"You can bring the kids, the girls will like that, and Cole---hang on, who the fuck is callin' me?"
"People call you? On purpose?"
"I didn't think so. Hang on." Switches calls, "Hello?"
"Hello. I just wanted to make sure you're alright."
"You've watched too many Lifetime movies. We don't all go commit suicide."
"I wasn't thinking that."
"It's tempting but---no?"
"You're stronger than that."
"Thanks. Can you hang on a minute? I've gotta hang up with the guy on the other line."
"Sure."
Switches back to Todd, "Did I hang up on you?"
"Not yet."
"Yeah, good call. I'm gonna take this."
"Him?"
"God uses burning shrubbery, not cellphones, you know this."
"Modern era."
"It didn't work on Dogma. But yeah, I'll keep you updated."
"I expect it."
"Be less of a sap." Hangs up on him, “Shane?”
"I’m still here."
"Good."
"You are okay?"
"I'll survive. I'm not something you need to worry about."
"For the time being at least, you're one of my teammates."
"Right now, that's a bit of a conflict of interest."
"I don't understand that. And I . . . resent losing one of our best defencemen."
"Be honest, you won't miss me all that much."
"That's not true at all."
"No more flirting, no more leaning, no more inappropriate touching. It'll be a relief."
"You don't do that. I'd have to leave the league to stop getting that."
"Why don't you?"
"What?"
"Why do you stick around when we're not like you?"
"This isn't a sex club, it's hockey."
"And you don't get hockey."
"I don't get hockey?"
"No, you don't. You really don't."
"You joined this league just to sleep with men?"
"See, right there, you don't have a fuckin' clue. You'd look at my friends and you'd wrinkle your nose, but they had the most beautiful game, this connection, this brotherhood which is what this game is about."
"Please, tell me honestly, you think that because I won't sleep with men, I'm not as good of a hockey player?"
"It's not about sleeping with them. I think you're missing out on the beauty of it all because you keep sneering instead of seeing it for what it is."
"I don't sneer."
"Yeah, you do. I'm not saying to go fuck every guy, just appreciate that you don't have the fuckin' corner on love. There are other kinds out there and they rate just as much as yours."
"What about brotherly love that has nothing to do with sex?"
"I've got that, it's fantastic, but that's not all of it. There's more besides that."
"Why can't I have my belief that it's wrong?"
"Go ahead. You know what, forget this. You couldn't make it in my world. My best friend's married to three people. I'll be back at the hotel at….sometime, you don't need to call out the search and rescue."
Sighs, "I am sorry."
"Yeah, so am I." Hangs up.
Title: By Faith Alone. Chapter Four.
Fandom: National Hockey League.
Characters: Ed Jovanovski, Shane Doan, Todd Bertuzzi
Word Count: 3,075.
Rating: PG.
Summary: Jovo doesn't know how to deal with it.
Author's Notes: This is set December 02, 2007 in Pittsburgh, the day before the game.
"I can't be friends with you."
"Why?"
"Just, shut up. I can't. I won't. I've had it."
A little taken aback, "What did I do?"
"What don't you do?"
Sighs, "Is this about that again? I've explained to you--"
"Just shut up. You want to know what you do? You come in here and you smile like you've just been given the world, which makes your eyes fuckin' sparkle. You put your heart out on the line durin' the game, you drop your gloves with this little--you--you and the laugh and the way you look when you don't fuckin' approve of something with the crease right there, the way your mouth moves--- Just fuck off."
"I'm sorry."
"Just shut up Shane. If you apologise one more goddamn time, I'll put you through a damn wall."
Pause. "Maybe, maybe you're so frustrated because you know these feelings like that, they're not right."
"No, I'm so frustrated because you're a fuckin' cocktease!"
"I've never done that."
"Yes you have. God put you here to torture guys like me."
"That's not true."
"Yes, it is. Would it kill you to kiss me just once? Just for my own sanity so I can know?"
"I can't."
"I'm not asking you to cheat on anyone. Just once, you can tell me how I disgust you, it'll get through my thick fuckin' skull and I can get on with life."
"I'm not like that."
"Fine, you're the Captain, you go tell 'em I want a trade."
"What?"
"I want..." Breathes, calming, "I want a trade."
"Because I'm not like that?"
"Because I want to get the hell away from you."
"Do you see what this is doing to you? You would leave our team just because of this?"
"Your team."
"It's all of our team."
"I don't want a part of it, or you."
"You're letting this ruin your career."
"'This'." Scoffs, "What exactly is this?"
"This homosexuality."
"You can find a better word for it. What do you think I want?"
"That is what it is."
"Be a little more descriptive. What exactly do you think I want?"
"To kiss me."
"And?"
"That's all you've asked, recently."
"That's what you think this is about? Fucking you?"
Thrown off a little, "Yes."
Touches his hair, "Doesn't have anything to do with that."
Pulls back, "Please don't."
"I wasn't---I'm not gonna jump you." Breathes, "Just get me a trade."
Stepping back again, swallowing hard, "I'll talk to them."
"Shane." Shakes his head sadly, "I'm no threat to you."
"I'm-- I'm not like that."
"I know. I am." Takes a step back himself.
Sighs, "I'm sorry."
"I---" Swallows, "Don't fuckin' apologise."
"I thought--" A breath, "I thought you wanted to be my friend. Because when I say no to someone, well, that's that. Nothing else I can do for them, but you-- you still wanted to talk to me. I thought-- I'll see what I can do about that trade."
"I do, did want that. You should just--you should know it's got nothing to do with fucking."
"Then please stop asking me."
"Do you sleep with your wife?"
"What? Of course I do."
"Why?"
"Because I l--" Freezes, staring at him.
"Yeah, well there you go."
Stunned, still just staring at him.
"So you understand now? Understand why I can't take friends? You'll get me out of here."
Swallows, and eventually nods.
"Look, can I---I won't try anything. Can I just hug you?"
After a second, nods.
Steps forwards, slowly, like he'll bolt, shaking slightly from the tension, carefully puts his arms around him, sighing and closing his eyes. His hands staying out of trouble, just resting against his back.
Puts his arms around him, though he's very tense at first.
Pulls him just a little closer, but stays put, breathing him in slowly and not moving.
Tenses a little more at the movement, but then relaxes completely. Tightens his hold a little, into an actual hug now.
Holds on like that for as long as he can. Sighing, "I love you."
Silent for a long time, not moving. Quietly, "Thank you."
A weak smile, "Shut up, Shane. This is the part where I thank you." Untangles himself from him.
Keeps a hand on his shoulder, "You're a great guy. I see it as a compliment."
"Don't think too much about it, you'll hurt yourself."
Laughs, lightly. Pause, "Do you have to leave?"
"I don't think I can stay."
"I understand. I'll miss you. You took a big risk with what you said. And you've been very respectful to what I've said. I want to return the favour." Looks at him a minute and then touches his cheek gently, leaning in to kiss him, just a little more than lightly.
Relaxes, not pushing for more, his hand sliding up into his hair.
Holds him there for a moment longer before pulling away, looking to him for a reply.
"Still women, eh?"
Nods, with an apologetic smile.
"That's too bad. I'll see you around, kid." Turns away, fishing for his cellphone.
Sighs, watching him walk away.
"Yeah?"
"I'm fucked. I've been fucked before, but I've never been this fucked."
"What happened?"
"I asked for a trade."
"I thought the team was turning around?"
"I love him."
"What? You didn't tell him that."
"Yeah, I did."
"Fuckin' idiot."
"I told you I'm fucked."
"You got some time? Come out here."
"No, I'm in Pittsburgh. Where are you next week?"
"What the fuck are you doing out there? Uh, next week . . ." Pause. "Third and fourth? No fuck, that's like tomorrow. I'm home until Friday."
"That's good. We've got some home games, then it's a fuckin' two week road trip starting on Saturday."
"Yeah, whenever. Why'd you do that?"
"Beacuse I'm stupid and don't stick with my own kind. You hear that Todd? Always stick with you're own fuckin' kind."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm all stuck. But what jumped from last Friday? If that was in your head, I woulda noticed."
"I'm only fucking defenceman from now on."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"Two week road trip. I cannot fuckin' handle seeing him day in and day out like that. So I did the only fuckin' sensible thing, told him to piss off and take his friendship with him."
"You liked his friendship last week."
"I'm fucked because he doesn't shut up. He never listens to me when I tell him to shut the fuck up."
"What did he say?"
"I don't know. Questions, but he didn't get it, he didn't get it's got nothing to do with wanting to sleep with him."
"Don't explain it to me, I get it. But how'd you go from shut up and shove your friendship to 'I love you'?"
"Because he thought I wanted off the team because of this. Fuck him, fuck him the way he said it. But it's about love."
"This?"
"This, men fucking other men."
"Oh."
"Fuck, just fuck. Fuck this whole fuckin' team. You know why I liked him on Friday? Because he hadn't driven me completely fuckin' crazy yet."
"What changed?"
"I---oh."
"What?"
"Nothin'."
"Bullshit."
"Nothin'. Nothin' changed, just visited you."
"Me? What do I have to do with it?"
"Nothin'."
"Knock it off."
"It's between me and god."
"Give me a break."
"It's not my fault you're a fuckin' idiot."
"When the fuck did this turn on me?"
"If you don't know what your part in this is, I'm not telling you."
"And when did you become five fuckin' years old?"
"Damn it, Todd! Come on, I saw you, fuckin' figure it out."
"You saw me. We played a game. We ate. We talked. What?"
"Forget it."
"Blame it on the concussion. What?"
"Really Todd, I think I'm gonna keep some of my masculinity in tact today."
"Look, I won't say anything."
Laughs, "You won't need to tell anyone. Saw you, but I wasn't pinning for you, I was pinning for him."
"Oh. Oh. Well, fuck."
"Yeah, you dumb fuck."
"You never told me that."
"Well, isn't today good for this shit? I thought you knew."
"But we didn't have a thing, I was with Markus. Oh."
"Don't worry about it. That train came and went a while ago."
"No pun intended. But no, you said before that it would be easier if he had someone else."
"Yeah, that would have been the experience talking."
"Oh."
"Doesn't matter Todd." Laughs, "Don't flatter yourself, you're really not my problem anymore."
"Nah, it's just weird that I didn't know. Did he know before you went and told him?"
"No."
"You need to be more obvious about these things."
"I'm not his type."
"Yeah?"
"Likes 'em curvier and with fuller chests. Nature's just not helpin' me out there."
"Yeah, I wondered about that."
"Yup, it takes one Ed Jovanovski to find the only straight guy in the NHL."
"That sucks."
"Whatever. Tell Markus to stick Ohlie in a box and mail him to Phoenix."
"Will do. Still expecting you to get your ass out here. I have something that'd work."
"What are the specs?"
"D. Single. Fucks guys. What more do you want to know?"
"I'm heartbroken, not desperate."
"Rumour has it, so's he."
"Yeah name?"
"Beauchemin."
"He's French? Bon, je n'obtiens pas d'employer mon français du tout ici."
"Ja, jag veta din franske är sexig utom jag stilla icke gör det förstå den."
Laughs, "Je peux continuer à faire cette toute la nuit."
"Jag använda min svensk mer än du använda din franske. Vill du lek den här spel?"
"J'emploie mon Macédonien davantage que j'emploie mon français. Voulez que je commute ? Et je comprends plus suédois que vous comprenez le français."
"Yeah, not a fuckin' clue."
"Yeah, you should study that more."
"Why?"
"Because it's not a fun game when I win all the time."
"It gets boring. If you just gave up and learned Swedish like the rest of the civilised world, it wouldn't be an issue."
"I didn't have a good enough reason to learn Swedish."
"Find yourself one."
"If I find a Swede, he's learning English.'
Laughs, "Yeah, right."
"They've got ones in Detroit that seem to have managed it."
"They still spoke Swedish."
"But they don't need to."
"It's easier. It was the Czechs that were a pain in the ass."
"Are you gonna bitch about Slavs?"
"I think, oddly enough, I was going to compliment them, and bitch about their language. But I won't now."
"I'm gonna throw down on you when I visit."
"Bring it."
"You're overweight and out of practice. No contest."
"Me?"
"Yes, you, poor concussed Todd."
"No more ringing. And I'm still lighter than when I was at home."
"Uh huh, not when I saw you."
"Wishful thinking."
"And that was in person. The camera adds 15 pounds."
"You still wouldn't turn me down."
"I would if I could."
"You couldn't even if you wanted to."
"Would if I had somethin' worth turnin' you down for."
"What's better than me?"
"Oh how highly he thinks of himself now."
"I've always thought highly of myself."
"Maybe I will go get myself a Swede. I can shack up with Forsberg."
Laughs, "Go ahead. He's single."
"That was one of the seven wonders in the world, right there."
"What? Peter?"
"Markus choosing you. Come on, Nazzy have some better taste."
Laughs, "Have you fucked Peter?"
"Can't say that I have."
"Take my word for it. You'd pick me too."
"I know I'd pick you, but your wife already told me I have shit taste."
Laughs, "You do. But even the blind get one in the net every so often."
"Huh, better mend that hole then."
"Vad?"
"The hole I've got in that net."
"You need to pick out more like me."
"Oh god, no. That shit gets me in trouble."
"Maybe you should just be handed someone. C'mere, I'll give you Frankie."
"I'll fuck him, but I don't want hand outs."
"I'm gettin' you back on the path."
"This is more like off roading then The Path."
"You've been off roading and you make shitty choices. You can't make 'em anymore. I'll get Julie to find you people."
"Oh fuckin' hell is it that bad that I need to be set up by the wives?"
"She's slept with more of them than I have."
"It's okay, look I can find people to sleep with just fine."
"You make crappy choices."
"No, my one night stands are fuckin' amazing. When it comes to keepin' 'em, I make crappy choices."
"And you wanna keep one."
"Not everybody does."
"You do."
"Todd."
"Bullshit someone else."
"I've had enough preaching for one lifetime, don't you start shit too."
"I'm helping. Well, I'm not. Julie will."
"I don't need help. Unless it's professional."
"Yeah, you do."
"Shut up, asshole. Don't agree with me."
"Did I? Shit."
"I just---" Sighs.
"You just?"
"Neh, what's the point, eh?"
"Don't know until you finish the sentence."
"I just really liked him."
"And there's no chance, eh? 'Try it, maybe you'll like it'?"
"He could barely hug me. What bullshit is that anyway? How do you fall for a guy you've never even tried out?"
"When it's not about the sex."
"Like you can talk. You definitely tried first."
"Yeah, but who thought I'd be good with exclusive?"
"You practically were."
"I vividly remember fucking you."
"Special occasions."
"It happened. And you weren't the only one."
"Oh, now I'm hurt. Seriously, I'll lend you the girls for flowergirls, when the wedding bells ring."
"Too late."
"Too late?"
"We had a good summer."
"You suck Todd."
"Tack."
"I woulda gone to that."
"It was in Sweden."
"So? How many times does your best friend get married?"
"Twice, evidently."
"Whenever you get around to vow renewals, if you lose my invitation I'll be pissed."
"If there are four people is that one wedding or two?"
"Are you marrying each other or two and two?"
"Each other."
"Then it's one."
"So then technically once."
"Four people...wait, what?"
"Concussions recently?"
"Did Lotta marry you?"
"Yes, but I thought she had better taste than that all these years."
"Fuck you twice over. You took all the best women too, you bastard."
"They're not off the market, however."
"Because they have more sense than you."
"That's what I said. Thing is, I might be the only sap around here."
"Markus not goin' the distance?"
"Didn't ask."
"Why not?"
"No need to."
"News flash Todd, you've got a right to know."
"Yeah, but here's how I see it. I'm not goin' exclusive for Markus really. I'm doin' it because I don't want anyone else. If he wants other people, that's his thing."
"You are such a sap."
"I already said that."
"But now I believe you."
Laughs, "You didn't believe me when I said no?"
"Neh, that was the concussion talkin'."
"I was over it by last Friday."
"But look at me, nobody could resist this."
"That's why I don't get this asshole you've got there."
"He's not an asshole, he's different is all."
"Yeah, right. He's turnin' you down for Jesus."
"Well, if Jesus looks like Jim Caviezel."
"I would have fucked Jesus, but I'm not into the worshiping."
"Who said the disciples weren't doing both?"
"Someone shoulda written that down."
"It would have made the book even more of a best seller."
"And we'd have less assholes to deal with."
"Yeah. Maybe you and Markus'll come visit here if I have to stick around."
"Yeah, if we can."
Call waiting beeps.
"You can bring the kids, the girls will like that, and Cole---hang on, who the fuck is callin' me?"
"People call you? On purpose?"
"I didn't think so. Hang on." Switches calls, "Hello?"
"Hello. I just wanted to make sure you're alright."
"You've watched too many Lifetime movies. We don't all go commit suicide."
"I wasn't thinking that."
"It's tempting but---no?"
"You're stronger than that."
"Thanks. Can you hang on a minute? I've gotta hang up with the guy on the other line."
"Sure."
Switches back to Todd, "Did I hang up on you?"
"Not yet."
"Yeah, good call. I'm gonna take this."
"Him?"
"God uses burning shrubbery, not cellphones, you know this."
"Modern era."
"It didn't work on Dogma. But yeah, I'll keep you updated."
"I expect it."
"Be less of a sap." Hangs up on him, “Shane?”
"I’m still here."
"Good."
"You are okay?"
"I'll survive. I'm not something you need to worry about."
"For the time being at least, you're one of my teammates."
"Right now, that's a bit of a conflict of interest."
"I don't understand that. And I . . . resent losing one of our best defencemen."
"Be honest, you won't miss me all that much."
"That's not true at all."
"No more flirting, no more leaning, no more inappropriate touching. It'll be a relief."
"You don't do that. I'd have to leave the league to stop getting that."
"Why don't you?"
"What?"
"Why do you stick around when we're not like you?"
"This isn't a sex club, it's hockey."
"And you don't get hockey."
"I don't get hockey?"
"No, you don't. You really don't."
"You joined this league just to sleep with men?"
"See, right there, you don't have a fuckin' clue. You'd look at my friends and you'd wrinkle your nose, but they had the most beautiful game, this connection, this brotherhood which is what this game is about."
"Please, tell me honestly, you think that because I won't sleep with men, I'm not as good of a hockey player?"
"It's not about sleeping with them. I think you're missing out on the beauty of it all because you keep sneering instead of seeing it for what it is."
"I don't sneer."
"Yeah, you do. I'm not saying to go fuck every guy, just appreciate that you don't have the fuckin' corner on love. There are other kinds out there and they rate just as much as yours."
"What about brotherly love that has nothing to do with sex?"
"I've got that, it's fantastic, but that's not all of it. There's more besides that."
"Why can't I have my belief that it's wrong?"
"Go ahead. You know what, forget this. You couldn't make it in my world. My best friend's married to three people. I'll be back at the hotel at….sometime, you don't need to call out the search and rescue."
Sighs, "I am sorry."
"Yeah, so am I." Hangs up.