By Faith Alone. Chapter Five.
Written by: lady_lilith and lady_death.
Title: By Faith Alone. Chapter Five.
Fandom: NHL: Phoenix Coyotes.
Characters: Shane Doan, Ed Jovanovski.
Word Count: 3,270.
Rating: PG.
Summary: Shane isn't going to make things easy.
Author's Notes: This is set December 03, 2007 in Pittsburgh. The Coyotes would go on to lose to the Pens, 1-3.
Stops in front of his stall. "I won't help you get traded."
Trying not to look at him, "The one thing you can do for me, you won't?"
"If you want to put it that way. I won't let you run away."
"How about calling it a retreat for mental health?"
"You'll have to ask them yourself."
"Thanks. Don't worry, I'll leave you out of it."
"You are one of the few friends I have in this league, but my beliefs have ruined that, as it has every other time. I'm starting to be a little tired of appologising for that."
"No, your beliefs got nothing to do with this." An ironic laugh, "I like listening to you. It's your preferences I take issue with."
"I'm told that I should condemn you because you're homosexual. But I don't. So instead you condemn me because I'm straight."
"No, wrong again."
"Explain it to me then."
"I don't condemn you at all. For both our sake I need time away from you."
"I won't willingly give away my friendship."
"Damn it, Shane! I can't do this day in and day out."
"Nothing in this life is easy. I didn't think you were a coward."
Slams his fist against his stall, "I'm--I'm." Breathes, "I'm tryin' to give you what you want."
"Let me see your hand. And this isn't about what I want, it's about you running away when it's not what you want."
"I'm---believe me, if that was the fuckin' case, I've already stuck by once when it wasn't what I wanted."
Holds his hand out, "I said, let me see your hand."
Gives it over to him.
Examines it, testing to see if he's hurt himself, "This other time, was another teammate?"
Closes his eyes, "What--yeah, but he was in love already. They got married this summer."
"And you could accept that?"
"It's not like I had a choice."
"And you didn't ask to be traded?"
"No, we'd all still be Canucks if things had fallen right."
"So it's easier to accept that he loves someone else male than loves someone else female?"
"No, it isn't easier."
"You didn't run away."
"I didn't--it wasn't the same."
"How so? Is it just easier to leave the Coyotes?" Gives his hand back, "You're lucky you didn't break something, I know how hard you hit."
"No." Keeps his eyes closed a moment longer, "It's not about the team."
"But you can't explain it to me."
"I can barely breathe around you."
"It wasn't like that in Vancouver?"
"No."
"Oh."
Without giving him a choice, takes his hand, holding it, "No, it was different."
Doesn't pull away, "I am who I am."
"I know." Chuckles, "Que sera, sera. That is the problem."
Sighs after looking at him a minute, "I need to get changed. For practice."
"Yeah. Do you still want my friendship?"
"Very much."
Lets go of his hand, "Good."
Nods, and rather than heading to his stall, heads into a side office.
Sits down on the bench, leaning back, "Vous êtes un idiot sourd-muet."
Later…
Knocks on his hotel door.
Puts down the photograph he was looking at, getting up to answer the door.
"Would you mind some company?"
Sighs, "Make yourself at home."
"Only if you don't mind."
"As you can see you weren't interrupting anything."
"Are you mad at me?"
"No Shane. I really can't find fault with you."
Half a smile, "Maybe one?"
"Yeah, but it's only a fault, 'cause you're not single."
"I have something I'd like you read."
Sits on the bed, "Well don't just stand in the doorway."
Sits beside him, handing him his Bible. "There's a bookmark."
Laughs, "How did I know this was coming, eh?"
"I'm not preaching. I promise. I was just thinking."
Flips it open, with an actual smile, "You're a pip."
"Thank you. Just read from here, to here."
"I'm on it." Starts to read to himself.
The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised. Amen.
Watches him.
Frowns as he reads, the frown deepening, looks over at him, "What's this suppposed to imply?"
"I think that if it were a choice, you would choose not to. So it must have come from God."
"You think god's punishing me?"
Looks at him a minute, then nods.
"You know me over a year now, and this is what you get? That I'm like this?"
"No. Not like that. But you have a wonderful wife and great kids. I don't understand why you would do this."
"My wife and I love each other, we also understand each other."
"I don't understand."
"You think while I'm away half the time on the road she's just sitting at home doing needlepoint?"
"She has kids to take care of."
"Yeah, she also has a life."
"With other men?"
"With whoever makes her happy. She's earned happiness."
"She's--- Oh."
"We're a partnership. We look out for each other, we take care of each other, you couldn't ask for a better person to raise kids, and if we take it into our heads that we need something else, more power to her. All I wanna do is make sure she's happy."
"And is she?"
"Yeah, excepting for some bad times, she is. She'd tell me if she wasn't."
Nods, "That's good."
"Do you think I don't believe in God?"
"Do you?"
"No, I asked you if you thought I did."
"I had thought so, yes."
"Because I do. Do you think I do a bad job of it?"
"Why would He make you this way?"
"Why does He do a lot of things?" Picks up the photograph he was looking, handing it to him, "No man could have prayed more than me." It's an ultrasound.
Looks at it and sighs. "I believe you."
"You can't fuckin' explain things. Why did he take away one of my little girls? You just can't say. It's not black and white."
Hands back the picture, "You're right, some things aren't explainable."
Looks at it a moment, before putting it away in his wallet, "I don't want to be fixed, Shane."
"You are a good person. You deserve to be happy."
"You don't have to like men to be unlucky in love."
"That's true. And for what it's worth," gesturing to where the picture had been, "You'll see her in heaven."
"Yeah, and in the meantime, I do give a lot of thanks for four healthy kids."
"Good." Squeezes his hand.
"So I'm not going to hell?"
"Not if I'm any judge of character."
Laughs, "I don't think any of my other friends would agree with you."
"Maybe they're not good judges. After all, they've all let you be alone, as it were." Smiles.
"Neh, not all of 'em. Only some of 'em. And you can't blame dopes for being dopey. They can't help themselves."
Laughs, "That's true across the board."
"Know something about that do you?"
"I might."
"Why don't you take your wife out?"
"I do, as often as we can, with the kids."
"You know you could take her out with the rest of us."
"We'd like to go out with you and Kirstin."
"Kitstin'll get a kick out of that. I don't know what woman doesn't like to get glamoured up to yap at other women. I mean you stick Kirstin, Erin, Julie and Lotta in a room together and well, that's scary actually. My wallet's gonna go hide in a dark corner now."
Laughs, "I haven't come across a wife yet that doesn't like to take the card and go shopping. Sometimes I think that's what we're doing here, making money for them to spend."
"Only sometimes?"
Laughs, "Fair point."
"I don't know how it works in your household, but I'm the one who gets the allowance."
"I believe it."
"And I'm not allowed to bring anything home that's breathing and doesn't pick up after itself."
"Oh, see that's a shame. I still want to teach your girls to ride."
"I’m still hoping Cole doesn’t grow up to be a crossdresser, surrounded by women."
"I'll gladly teach him when he's older. I meant the girls that are old enough to sit on the horse."
"He can sit if you hold him."
"I'll buy him a rocking horse."
"Now you're trying to spark sibling rivalry."
"I'd never buy for one and not the other. They may even have ones that seat two."
"Good, because Coco won't stand for favourites."
"She won't let you get away with that anymore?"
"I never played favourites. I was trying to give him a fair advantage."
"Mmhmm."
"He was outnumbered 3 to 1."
"Josh was outnumbered before Carson and you didn't see me playing favourites."
"3 to 1. And the girls were trying to use him as a doll."
"Girls will always do that."
"At least she coulda stuck him in the right jersey."
A raised eyebrow, some faux insult.
"Oh, it's worse than that."
"Oh really? How does it get worse?"
"Look around at this city."
"This city?"
"Yeah. See how bad it can get?"
"I'm ashamed."
"So am I. Bad enough not a D jersey, but a kid? I blame the media. Bad influence."
"Terrible, really. You should have more control over your kids. Because I can tell you, I, for one, would never give into that sort of thing." Bites his lip a little.
"Uh huh, I've seen what your kids come dressed in to the rink. Appalling."
"To the rink? No, no. It's the secret club meetings I'm worried about."
"Club?"
Shakes his head, "Your daughter is a bad influence."
"Hey, you're just lucky your kids don't know Swedish."
"Swedish?"
"Yes, it's everywhere in Vancouver."
"Don't you already speak enough languages?"
"That's what I thought. But when your kids are hanging out with Jaden and Tag Bertuzzi, all hope is lost."
Shakes his head, sadly.
"And come on, can you be more obvious?"
An ironic smile, "No, not very."
"Those poor kids. Well poor Jaden. Tag was already fucked from the start."
"Oh?"
"If Todd's the one who contributed genetics to that kid, I'll give up hockey."
"Oh. Well, that's the risk you run."
"What risk? They did it on purpose I'm pretty sure."
"On purpose?"
"Yeah, poor kid's stuck being a Naslund."
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but his kids?"
"Markus' kids?"
"Yes."
"Good chance one of 'em could be Todd's."
Nods, "Ah, I see."
"This would be my friend with two wives and a husband."
"Oh. Well, that makes . . . sense."
"No it doesn't. But they're...an experience. You just go with it.""
"Yeah, I suppose you'd have to. Were you involved with that?"
"Involved?"
"Yes."
"Only in a cameo role appearance."
"Ah."
"Don't 'ah' me."
"What?"
"Books could be written with your 'ah'."
"You read what you read into them."
"I'm more into audiobooks."
Laughs.
Sighs, "It's not as sordid as it sounds."
"It's not?"
"No. Can't even get Todd to sleep with someone he's not married to anymore."
"That's . . . respectable."
Laughs, "Oh god, Shane." Laughs more.
"I tried."
"You're so nice. You could find a polite thing to say about everyone."
"I try to. Sometimes it's difficult."
Rolls over, onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows looking at him, "Sometimes people don't deserve it."
"Everyone has something good about them."
"Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole."
Shakes his head, "There's something that makes them not just purely terrible."
"World's gotta stay in balance. You wouldn't know what a good person was if there wasn't some fuckin' jerk to compare them to."
"They may be a jerk, but there is something to make them not a complete evil."
"You have too much faith in people."
"Not too much, just faith."
"Rosey coloured glasses."
"Faith."
Laughs, "Alright, you win."
Smiles, "I always win on that one."
"Only because you're a stubborn bastard."
"I'm stubborn."
"Say it, 'I'm a stubborn bastard'. It's the truth, and we all know the truth's liberating."
Pause, a smile. Then, "I am stubborn."
Laughs, smiling at him, "No, it's stubborn bastard."
"I won't say that."
"You just proved my point entirely."
Laughs, "So I did."
"And the score is one-null."
"One-one."
"Oh really?"
"You already said I won."
Gives him a teasing smile, "I don't recall that."
Shoulders him, laughing, "Selective memory."
"Post concussion syndrome I think they call it."
"You know what else they call it? Lying."
"It's not lying if I can't remember. I have a medical excuse."
"No, you don't."
"You don't know how many times I've had my head beaten in over my whole career."
"I can imagine. You make people want to hit you."
"That's a point of pride."
"It would be for you."
"I think I was just insulted."
"Are you not sure?" Smirks.
"Oh." Pauses, "Now who's the liar? You're only supposed to say good things."
Laughs, "But you yourself call it a point of pride."
"Uh huh, I know that tone. That was rude."
"I never said I was perfect."
"Coulda fooled me. I think that's what they put on the billboard back home."
"I asked them not to."
"Just because you're perfect doesn't mean they listen to you."
"I'm not perfect and they don't listen to me."
Subconsciously shifts a little closer, "I told you, it's on the billboard. And we all know those things speak the truth."
"Of course billboards never lie."
"They tell me about great vacations and where I can get unwanted back hair removed."
Laughs, "All important things to know, though not what I want to see on my drive to work."
"What do you want to see?"
"Nature."
"Gotta get out of the city for that."
"That's for my drive home."
"You don't...go birding do you?"
"Birding? No, I never have."
Breathes a theatric sigh of relief, "Good."
"Oh is that an evil?"
"Oh yeah, especially when it's in Swedish."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the point of birding to be quiet?"
"Yeah, but you would have to know how to be quiet first."
"I would think loud birdwatchers would be bored."
"That would be logic. Why do you think logic somehow goes with Swedes?"
"I don't know all Swedes."
"You know one, you've known 'em all."
"I wouldn't make such a generalisation."
"You would if you know as many of 'em as I do."
"No, not against them or any other group."
Laughs, "It's okay. You don't have to be PC all the time."
"I am and I still get in trouble."
Laughs more, "Vous devriez savoir mieux que pour dire n'importe quoi contre le Français."
"I didn't say anything contre le Français."
"Naturellement vous . Vous ne pouvez pas me duper."
Shakes his head, "I didn't get that second part. Say it again?"
" Vous ne pouvez pas me duper. Je sais que vous mourez d'envie de baiser un Français."
Shakes his head, "I don't follow you."
Says it slowly, drawing out the words, "Vous ne pouvez pas me duper. Je sais que vous mourez d'envie de baiser un Français."
"Je sais, is I know. Que vous, that you. I didn't get the rest up to Français."
"Vous devriez étudier votre français."
"Étudier. Study. No, I don't need to."
"Pourquoi pas ?"
"I speak English."
"Le Français retentirait bon venir de vous. French is useful."
"We don't have any on our team."
"I know, it's depressing."
Smiles, "We have Swedes."
"I'm not learning Swedish."
"We have Czechs and Finns and a new Russian. You could learn one of those."
"But I like French."
"Then I'm afraid you'll have to put in for that trade."
"You could give me a conversation partner."
"I don't know many French."
Laughs, "I meant you could learn."
"Right after you'll learn to ride properly."
"I'm getting better at it."
"Yes, that's true."
"Not everyone's been doing it since they were three."
"I said you were getting better."
"Still, fuckin' hell. I've never been so damn sore."
Smiles, "Doesn't it feel great?"
"My ass really can't agree."
"You'll get used to it. Besides you need more strength in these muscles." Touches along his leg.
"Don't I--aren't those there already from that little thing called hockey?"
"You do, but it's different riding. You'll see once you start to work on it."
"If. Big if."
"When did I say if?"
"When you started saying I need to use different muscles. What other ones need work?"
"It's best to start with your legs, that's where you get your strength from." Touching each area. "These. And these. And these."
"Oh yeah." Swallows, "Well you know, I'm not a goalie."
"No, but you work on a lot of the same things."
"I don't think my body is gonna thank you."
"It will eventually. When you're more flexible."
"Whoa whoa whoa, I'm D."
"It's useful in all aspects of the game."
"I've managed being just as flexible as I am."
"But this can only help."
"I don't know if I need that much help."
"Besides, riding is good for the soul."
Folds his arms, resting his chin on them, "That sounds like propaganda."
"It's the truth."
"You just want to get people out there."
"I do. Everyone should get a chance to ride."
"I've riden, my balls hid for a week."
Laughs, "You'll get used to it."
"Do I wanna get used to it?"
"That's up to you. I love it."
"We've also established that you aren't in touch with your sanity."
"I am very sane. I'd take you out right now if we were home."
"Riding before a game? Tisk."
"Well, it wouldn't be hard riding at this hour anyway."
"Remember, beginner, everything is hard riding."
Laughs, "Oh, sorry. I did start slow, though, didn't I?"
"Yeah, would not call that slow." Fixates on his mouth.
"I could buy you a rocking horse."
"Yeah, don't think they let me have one at my age."
"Then you should get used to the real thing."
"Yeah, I will."
"Don't make it sound like torture. You don't have to."
"No, it's no problem. My balls will adjust."
Pats his shoulder, "Well, you should probably get some sleep."
"Yeah, have you uh---got your nap yet?"
"No, that's what I was saying."
"Oh. You don't have to be polite. You wanna go, eh?"
Nods, standing up, "I should."
Sighs, "Yeah."
A little bit of a sad smile, then heads for the door.
"I'll see you at game time."
"You will." Closes the door behind him.
As soon as the door shuts, rolls over unzipping his jeans, "Fuck."
Title: By Faith Alone. Chapter Five.
Fandom: NHL: Phoenix Coyotes.
Characters: Shane Doan, Ed Jovanovski.
Word Count: 3,270.
Rating: PG.
Summary: Shane isn't going to make things easy.
Author's Notes: This is set December 03, 2007 in Pittsburgh. The Coyotes would go on to lose to the Pens, 1-3.
Stops in front of his stall. "I won't help you get traded."
Trying not to look at him, "The one thing you can do for me, you won't?"
"If you want to put it that way. I won't let you run away."
"How about calling it a retreat for mental health?"
"You'll have to ask them yourself."
"Thanks. Don't worry, I'll leave you out of it."
"You are one of the few friends I have in this league, but my beliefs have ruined that, as it has every other time. I'm starting to be a little tired of appologising for that."
"No, your beliefs got nothing to do with this." An ironic laugh, "I like listening to you. It's your preferences I take issue with."
"I'm told that I should condemn you because you're homosexual. But I don't. So instead you condemn me because I'm straight."
"No, wrong again."
"Explain it to me then."
"I don't condemn you at all. For both our sake I need time away from you."
"I won't willingly give away my friendship."
"Damn it, Shane! I can't do this day in and day out."
"Nothing in this life is easy. I didn't think you were a coward."
Slams his fist against his stall, "I'm--I'm." Breathes, "I'm tryin' to give you what you want."
"Let me see your hand. And this isn't about what I want, it's about you running away when it's not what you want."
"I'm---believe me, if that was the fuckin' case, I've already stuck by once when it wasn't what I wanted."
Holds his hand out, "I said, let me see your hand."
Gives it over to him.
Examines it, testing to see if he's hurt himself, "This other time, was another teammate?"
Closes his eyes, "What--yeah, but he was in love already. They got married this summer."
"And you could accept that?"
"It's not like I had a choice."
"And you didn't ask to be traded?"
"No, we'd all still be Canucks if things had fallen right."
"So it's easier to accept that he loves someone else male than loves someone else female?"
"No, it isn't easier."
"You didn't run away."
"I didn't--it wasn't the same."
"How so? Is it just easier to leave the Coyotes?" Gives his hand back, "You're lucky you didn't break something, I know how hard you hit."
"No." Keeps his eyes closed a moment longer, "It's not about the team."
"But you can't explain it to me."
"I can barely breathe around you."
"It wasn't like that in Vancouver?"
"No."
"Oh."
Without giving him a choice, takes his hand, holding it, "No, it was different."
Doesn't pull away, "I am who I am."
"I know." Chuckles, "Que sera, sera. That is the problem."
Sighs after looking at him a minute, "I need to get changed. For practice."
"Yeah. Do you still want my friendship?"
"Very much."
Lets go of his hand, "Good."
Nods, and rather than heading to his stall, heads into a side office.
Sits down on the bench, leaning back, "Vous êtes un idiot sourd-muet."
Later…
Knocks on his hotel door.
Puts down the photograph he was looking at, getting up to answer the door.
"Would you mind some company?"
Sighs, "Make yourself at home."
"Only if you don't mind."
"As you can see you weren't interrupting anything."
"Are you mad at me?"
"No Shane. I really can't find fault with you."
Half a smile, "Maybe one?"
"Yeah, but it's only a fault, 'cause you're not single."
"I have something I'd like you read."
Sits on the bed, "Well don't just stand in the doorway."
Sits beside him, handing him his Bible. "There's a bookmark."
Laughs, "How did I know this was coming, eh?"
"I'm not preaching. I promise. I was just thinking."
Flips it open, with an actual smile, "You're a pip."
"Thank you. Just read from here, to here."
"I'm on it." Starts to read to himself.
The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised. Amen.
Watches him.
Frowns as he reads, the frown deepening, looks over at him, "What's this suppposed to imply?"
"I think that if it were a choice, you would choose not to. So it must have come from God."
"You think god's punishing me?"
Looks at him a minute, then nods.
"You know me over a year now, and this is what you get? That I'm like this?"
"No. Not like that. But you have a wonderful wife and great kids. I don't understand why you would do this."
"My wife and I love each other, we also understand each other."
"I don't understand."
"You think while I'm away half the time on the road she's just sitting at home doing needlepoint?"
"She has kids to take care of."
"Yeah, she also has a life."
"With other men?"
"With whoever makes her happy. She's earned happiness."
"She's--- Oh."
"We're a partnership. We look out for each other, we take care of each other, you couldn't ask for a better person to raise kids, and if we take it into our heads that we need something else, more power to her. All I wanna do is make sure she's happy."
"And is she?"
"Yeah, excepting for some bad times, she is. She'd tell me if she wasn't."
Nods, "That's good."
"Do you think I don't believe in God?"
"Do you?"
"No, I asked you if you thought I did."
"I had thought so, yes."
"Because I do. Do you think I do a bad job of it?"
"Why would He make you this way?"
"Why does He do a lot of things?" Picks up the photograph he was looking, handing it to him, "No man could have prayed more than me." It's an ultrasound.
Looks at it and sighs. "I believe you."
"You can't fuckin' explain things. Why did he take away one of my little girls? You just can't say. It's not black and white."
Hands back the picture, "You're right, some things aren't explainable."
Looks at it a moment, before putting it away in his wallet, "I don't want to be fixed, Shane."
"You are a good person. You deserve to be happy."
"You don't have to like men to be unlucky in love."
"That's true. And for what it's worth," gesturing to where the picture had been, "You'll see her in heaven."
"Yeah, and in the meantime, I do give a lot of thanks for four healthy kids."
"Good." Squeezes his hand.
"So I'm not going to hell?"
"Not if I'm any judge of character."
Laughs, "I don't think any of my other friends would agree with you."
"Maybe they're not good judges. After all, they've all let you be alone, as it were." Smiles.
"Neh, not all of 'em. Only some of 'em. And you can't blame dopes for being dopey. They can't help themselves."
Laughs, "That's true across the board."
"Know something about that do you?"
"I might."
"Why don't you take your wife out?"
"I do, as often as we can, with the kids."
"You know you could take her out with the rest of us."
"We'd like to go out with you and Kirstin."
"Kitstin'll get a kick out of that. I don't know what woman doesn't like to get glamoured up to yap at other women. I mean you stick Kirstin, Erin, Julie and Lotta in a room together and well, that's scary actually. My wallet's gonna go hide in a dark corner now."
Laughs, "I haven't come across a wife yet that doesn't like to take the card and go shopping. Sometimes I think that's what we're doing here, making money for them to spend."
"Only sometimes?"
Laughs, "Fair point."
"I don't know how it works in your household, but I'm the one who gets the allowance."
"I believe it."
"And I'm not allowed to bring anything home that's breathing and doesn't pick up after itself."
"Oh, see that's a shame. I still want to teach your girls to ride."
"I’m still hoping Cole doesn’t grow up to be a crossdresser, surrounded by women."
"I'll gladly teach him when he's older. I meant the girls that are old enough to sit on the horse."
"He can sit if you hold him."
"I'll buy him a rocking horse."
"Now you're trying to spark sibling rivalry."
"I'd never buy for one and not the other. They may even have ones that seat two."
"Good, because Coco won't stand for favourites."
"She won't let you get away with that anymore?"
"I never played favourites. I was trying to give him a fair advantage."
"Mmhmm."
"He was outnumbered 3 to 1."
"Josh was outnumbered before Carson and you didn't see me playing favourites."
"3 to 1. And the girls were trying to use him as a doll."
"Girls will always do that."
"At least she coulda stuck him in the right jersey."
A raised eyebrow, some faux insult.
"Oh, it's worse than that."
"Oh really? How does it get worse?"
"Look around at this city."
"This city?"
"Yeah. See how bad it can get?"
"I'm ashamed."
"So am I. Bad enough not a D jersey, but a kid? I blame the media. Bad influence."
"Terrible, really. You should have more control over your kids. Because I can tell you, I, for one, would never give into that sort of thing." Bites his lip a little.
"Uh huh, I've seen what your kids come dressed in to the rink. Appalling."
"To the rink? No, no. It's the secret club meetings I'm worried about."
"Club?"
Shakes his head, "Your daughter is a bad influence."
"Hey, you're just lucky your kids don't know Swedish."
"Swedish?"
"Yes, it's everywhere in Vancouver."
"Don't you already speak enough languages?"
"That's what I thought. But when your kids are hanging out with Jaden and Tag Bertuzzi, all hope is lost."
Shakes his head, sadly.
"And come on, can you be more obvious?"
An ironic smile, "No, not very."
"Those poor kids. Well poor Jaden. Tag was already fucked from the start."
"Oh?"
"If Todd's the one who contributed genetics to that kid, I'll give up hockey."
"Oh. Well, that's the risk you run."
"What risk? They did it on purpose I'm pretty sure."
"On purpose?"
"Yeah, poor kid's stuck being a Naslund."
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but his kids?"
"Markus' kids?"
"Yes."
"Good chance one of 'em could be Todd's."
Nods, "Ah, I see."
"This would be my friend with two wives and a husband."
"Oh. Well, that makes . . . sense."
"No it doesn't. But they're...an experience. You just go with it.""
"Yeah, I suppose you'd have to. Were you involved with that?"
"Involved?"
"Yes."
"Only in a cameo role appearance."
"Ah."
"Don't 'ah' me."
"What?"
"Books could be written with your 'ah'."
"You read what you read into them."
"I'm more into audiobooks."
Laughs.
Sighs, "It's not as sordid as it sounds."
"It's not?"
"No. Can't even get Todd to sleep with someone he's not married to anymore."
"That's . . . respectable."
Laughs, "Oh god, Shane." Laughs more.
"I tried."
"You're so nice. You could find a polite thing to say about everyone."
"I try to. Sometimes it's difficult."
Rolls over, onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows looking at him, "Sometimes people don't deserve it."
"Everyone has something good about them."
"Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole."
Shakes his head, "There's something that makes them not just purely terrible."
"World's gotta stay in balance. You wouldn't know what a good person was if there wasn't some fuckin' jerk to compare them to."
"They may be a jerk, but there is something to make them not a complete evil."
"You have too much faith in people."
"Not too much, just faith."
"Rosey coloured glasses."
"Faith."
Laughs, "Alright, you win."
Smiles, "I always win on that one."
"Only because you're a stubborn bastard."
"I'm stubborn."
"Say it, 'I'm a stubborn bastard'. It's the truth, and we all know the truth's liberating."
Pause, a smile. Then, "I am stubborn."
Laughs, smiling at him, "No, it's stubborn bastard."
"I won't say that."
"You just proved my point entirely."
Laughs, "So I did."
"And the score is one-null."
"One-one."
"Oh really?"
"You already said I won."
Gives him a teasing smile, "I don't recall that."
Shoulders him, laughing, "Selective memory."
"Post concussion syndrome I think they call it."
"You know what else they call it? Lying."
"It's not lying if I can't remember. I have a medical excuse."
"No, you don't."
"You don't know how many times I've had my head beaten in over my whole career."
"I can imagine. You make people want to hit you."
"That's a point of pride."
"It would be for you."
"I think I was just insulted."
"Are you not sure?" Smirks.
"Oh." Pauses, "Now who's the liar? You're only supposed to say good things."
Laughs, "But you yourself call it a point of pride."
"Uh huh, I know that tone. That was rude."
"I never said I was perfect."
"Coulda fooled me. I think that's what they put on the billboard back home."
"I asked them not to."
"Just because you're perfect doesn't mean they listen to you."
"I'm not perfect and they don't listen to me."
Subconsciously shifts a little closer, "I told you, it's on the billboard. And we all know those things speak the truth."
"Of course billboards never lie."
"They tell me about great vacations and where I can get unwanted back hair removed."
Laughs, "All important things to know, though not what I want to see on my drive to work."
"What do you want to see?"
"Nature."
"Gotta get out of the city for that."
"That's for my drive home."
"You don't...go birding do you?"
"Birding? No, I never have."
Breathes a theatric sigh of relief, "Good."
"Oh is that an evil?"
"Oh yeah, especially when it's in Swedish."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the point of birding to be quiet?"
"Yeah, but you would have to know how to be quiet first."
"I would think loud birdwatchers would be bored."
"That would be logic. Why do you think logic somehow goes with Swedes?"
"I don't know all Swedes."
"You know one, you've known 'em all."
"I wouldn't make such a generalisation."
"You would if you know as many of 'em as I do."
"No, not against them or any other group."
Laughs, "It's okay. You don't have to be PC all the time."
"I am and I still get in trouble."
Laughs more, "Vous devriez savoir mieux que pour dire n'importe quoi contre le Français."
"I didn't say anything contre le Français."
"Naturellement vous . Vous ne pouvez pas me duper."
Shakes his head, "I didn't get that second part. Say it again?"
" Vous ne pouvez pas me duper. Je sais que vous mourez d'envie de baiser un Français."
Shakes his head, "I don't follow you."
Says it slowly, drawing out the words, "Vous ne pouvez pas me duper. Je sais que vous mourez d'envie de baiser un Français."
"Je sais, is I know. Que vous, that you. I didn't get the rest up to Français."
"Vous devriez étudier votre français."
"Étudier. Study. No, I don't need to."
"Pourquoi pas ?"
"I speak English."
"Le Français retentirait bon venir de vous. French is useful."
"We don't have any on our team."
"I know, it's depressing."
Smiles, "We have Swedes."
"I'm not learning Swedish."
"We have Czechs and Finns and a new Russian. You could learn one of those."
"But I like French."
"Then I'm afraid you'll have to put in for that trade."
"You could give me a conversation partner."
"I don't know many French."
Laughs, "I meant you could learn."
"Right after you'll learn to ride properly."
"I'm getting better at it."
"Yes, that's true."
"Not everyone's been doing it since they were three."
"I said you were getting better."
"Still, fuckin' hell. I've never been so damn sore."
Smiles, "Doesn't it feel great?"
"My ass really can't agree."
"You'll get used to it. Besides you need more strength in these muscles." Touches along his leg.
"Don't I--aren't those there already from that little thing called hockey?"
"You do, but it's different riding. You'll see once you start to work on it."
"If. Big if."
"When did I say if?"
"When you started saying I need to use different muscles. What other ones need work?"
"It's best to start with your legs, that's where you get your strength from." Touching each area. "These. And these. And these."
"Oh yeah." Swallows, "Well you know, I'm not a goalie."
"No, but you work on a lot of the same things."
"I don't think my body is gonna thank you."
"It will eventually. When you're more flexible."
"Whoa whoa whoa, I'm D."
"It's useful in all aspects of the game."
"I've managed being just as flexible as I am."
"But this can only help."
"I don't know if I need that much help."
"Besides, riding is good for the soul."
Folds his arms, resting his chin on them, "That sounds like propaganda."
"It's the truth."
"You just want to get people out there."
"I do. Everyone should get a chance to ride."
"I've riden, my balls hid for a week."
Laughs, "You'll get used to it."
"Do I wanna get used to it?"
"That's up to you. I love it."
"We've also established that you aren't in touch with your sanity."
"I am very sane. I'd take you out right now if we were home."
"Riding before a game? Tisk."
"Well, it wouldn't be hard riding at this hour anyway."
"Remember, beginner, everything is hard riding."
Laughs, "Oh, sorry. I did start slow, though, didn't I?"
"Yeah, would not call that slow." Fixates on his mouth.
"I could buy you a rocking horse."
"Yeah, don't think they let me have one at my age."
"Then you should get used to the real thing."
"Yeah, I will."
"Don't make it sound like torture. You don't have to."
"No, it's no problem. My balls will adjust."
Pats his shoulder, "Well, you should probably get some sleep."
"Yeah, have you uh---got your nap yet?"
"No, that's what I was saying."
"Oh. You don't have to be polite. You wanna go, eh?"
Nods, standing up, "I should."
Sighs, "Yeah."
A little bit of a sad smile, then heads for the door.
"I'll see you at game time."
"You will." Closes the door behind him.
As soon as the door shuts, rolls over unzipping his jeans, "Fuck."