TITLE: ALL SHOOK UP part 2
TITLE: ALL SHOOK UP
AUTHOR: VNapier
PAIRING: Ennis/Jack
RATING: R - NC17
FEEDBACK: Always. E mail me at BBMFAN@ZOOMINTERNET.NET
DISCLAIMERS: Standard disclaimers. The characters are not mine, but the story is.
SUMMARY: This is a sequel to 'If Anyone Can Show Just Cause, Speak Now...' and 'Til Death Do Us Part'. Those stories can be found on my
livejournal at http://vln-bbmfan.livejournal.com/
part 1 - http://vln-bbmfan.livejournal.com/23041.html
"Taxes is paid up fer the rest a the year."
Ennis stared at the ledger book in front of him, not seeing the neat and orderly columns of numbers, but an overwhelming mountain of responsibility. Taxes, electricity, water, utilities, repairs, insurance...he might as well have been abducted by one of those flying saucers from Uranus that Alma's daddy had told him was in the paper. The ones that was supposed to have made a big hole in some potato patch over there in England last fall.
Couldn't figure why an alien from outer space would give a damn about spuds. Maybe it was for the same reason he couldn't make heads nor tails out of all those numbers and columns and decimal places. Might help if he could see them better, but his eyes wasn't no good up close. Reading gave him a headache, but he didn't figure that his eyes was the reason his head was throbbing right now.
"Smitty didn't know nothin' 'bout this stuff, neither."
"He didn't?"
"Nope. Left it ta me ta run."
"Shoulda left it all to you in the first place." He still didn't understand why Smitty hadn't left the motel to the man who had been like a father to him. Smithy didn't know that Ennis wouldn't just up and sell it out from under Rich, or even kick the old man out on his ass. Fucking asshole had no right making him do this.
"Ain't much, but fer someone who ain't got nothin' else, it's more'n enough." Rich was watching him closely, as if trying to gauge his reaction. "Ya think 'bout things when ya get ta be older'n dirt."
"Like what?"
Instead of answering, the old man struggled to his feet, leaning heavily on his cane as he hobbled over to the sink. "Fuckin' assholes," was punctuated by the clattering of a spoon being thrown into the stained porcelain sink.
"What ya mean?"
Rich turned, and in a gesture Ennis had come to know meant the old man was either pissed or trying impart some kind of wisdom, a gnarled finger waggled at him. "Don't ya let nothin', ya fuckin' hear me, Boy, nothin' let ya think it's right ta be away from 'im? Ain't right. Don't owe nothin' ta nobody more'n ya owe it ta 'im."
Although the source of Rich's sudden change in demeanor was unknown, Ennis did know that he did not need to be told this particular bit of information, or to whom Rich was referring. "Done figured that out fer myself, Old Man."
"See that ya don't ferget it!" With the wind taken out of his sails, Rich seemed to deflate. "Ya best be gettin' on."
Concern blossomed as Ennis watched Rich retreat back into his bedroom. It was barely noon and the old man was going back to bed.
*** *** *** ***
"It's really pretty simple, Ennis," Thelma explained. "The main thing to remember is that all your debits, the numbers on this side, should equal all your credits, the numbers on the other side."
Simple? He reckoned that making sure that the two sides totalled up to the same sum couldn't be too difficult, but every time he looked down at the ledger, simple went flying out the window. He wasn't even sure why this was making him so crazy. Rich said that Smitty didn't know anything about the running of the motel. Didn't seem that owning and running had much to do with each other, as long as there was someone around to do the running.
"I'm real worried about Rich," Ennis blurted out.
"Is he sick?"
"Don't know fer sure. Always seems ta be sleepin'." Ennis pointed to the ledger on the table between them. "Was showin' me about that there book this mornin'. Wasn't even noon when he told me ta git and went back ta bed. That Delaney boy that's real friendly with Smitty, he told me there's been heart problems."
"Yes, I seem to remember a couple of mentions that Richard had to be taken to the hospital down to Sheridan because of his heart."
Ennis paused at the used of the older man's formal name. "Lungs ain't too good, neither," he added as his insides seemed to turn in on themselves.
Thelma closed the ledger and placed a supportive hand over Ennis' clenched fist. Ennis looked up into her eyes and saw that she did understand.
"Elmer told ya? 'bout Rich an' Earl an' what happened down in Sage?"
"Yes. I'm so sorry."
"Ain't yer fault."
"It doesn't have to be my fault for me to be sorry that you've been hurt, or that Richard has been hurt, or that there's so much hate in the world."
"Don't know what ta do no more. Didn't want that old man ta mean nothin' ta me."
"But he does, doesn't he?"
"Yeah. Feel like he's all I got left a-" The lump that had been lodged in his throat landed in his stomach with a painful thud. "Didn't mean it that way...you an' Elmer mean..."
"Ennis, I understand. Richard is a connection to your past, to your blood kin. He's someone you've come to lean on, which isn't something you do easily. But you know something?"
"What?"
"You've come to mean as much to him as he has to you."
Ennis turned away. "Ya don't know what yer talkin' 'bout."
"Yes, I do. Richard comes into the market every Monday, and every Monday he asks Elmer if you were at our house on Sunday." She laughed gently. "Of course, he asks it in his own unique way so it doesn't sound like that's what he's doing, but he's not fooling anyone but himself. He cares."
"Don't know why." And Ennis honestly couldn't fathom why the old man could do anything but hate him. "Not after what my daddy done to 'im."
"You're not your father, Ennis. Just as there is part of knowing Richard that hurts you, part of knowing you that hurts him, too. No one could share the past that you two do and not feel that way, but at the same time, that painful past is what binds you together, because no one else can fully understand what you're both feeling."
Her words made some sense, but not enough to silence his confusion. "We ain't the only one's that had it hard. Elmer told me 'bout how you was treated fer somethin' that crazy man was doin' on the other side a the world."
"Everyone has their own cross to bear. It's the friends we find along the way that want to help us bear that cross that makes the difference. I'm sure that Richard sees how you were hurt by what your father did, and in trying to ease your pain, maybe he can let go of some of his own."
"How ya mean?"
"No one can bring Earl back, no one can undo that hateful atrocity that was done to him, but I can't imagine that Richard doesn't find hope in the fact that the son of the man who did that deed is nothing like his father. Hate breeds hate, and you're breaking that cycle. Hasn't knowing Richard helped you accept that you aren't alone, that what you and Jack share isn't an oddity, isn't wrong?"
The more he thought about that, the less it made sense. "Don't think so. I mean, I always known Rich and Earl was queer, but that didn't keep me from walkin' away from Jack last summer, or from having times when I wished I'd never met 'im. You and Elmer, you done more ta get me ta accept that it's okay, how I feel on Jack, an' that meetin' 'im was the best thing that ever happened ta me."
Tears glistened in Thelma's eyes, and then spilled down her cheeks. Ennis reached up and wiped them away with his napkin. "Don't cry."
The rattle of the front door opening was a prelude to Elmer's grumbling about cold weather and lonely little old ladies. When he entered the kitchen, his expression immediately became concerned. "What's wrong, Sweetheart? Please tell me there hasn't been bad news about Jack."
"Nothing like that, Dear," Thelma assured him. "Ennis and I were just talking and I got a little emotional." After wiping away the rest of her tears, she patted Ennis hand and addressed her husband with her usual affectionate ease. "Ennis is worried about Richard. He thinks he might be sick."
"He was in the market on Monday. It was a little later than usual, but he didn't seem to be feeling poorly." Elmer frowned and headed for the percolator. "A little tired, maybe, but he is nearly seventy."
Seventy years sounded like an awfully damn long time to Ennis' twenty-year old mind. "Didn't know he was that old."
"Actually, he would have just turned sixty-seven," Elmer clarified. "He has the same birthday as my cousin Martin. January 1, 1897. Don't recall when he told me that, but I'm sure I remember him mentioning it at some point."
1897? That sounded even more incomprehensible to Ennis. Rich had been a real cowboy, in the truest sense of the word. Earl, too. No trucks and trailers back then, just driving cattle from here to there on horseback. He had described Rich and Earl to Jack as being two tough old birds, and maybe that was true at one time, but not anymore. Only that wouldn't be something a man like Rich would ever want to admit. "Ain't got no one but me."
"Ennis?"
Shaking off the feeling, Ennis looked up into the concerned eyes of his two friends. "I think I'm maybe understandin' some a what you was tryin' ta say earlier, 'bout how the hurtin' ain't what's most important."
Thelma nodded, and slipped her arm around Elmer, who was sipping his coffee and totally in the dark. "There are very few things in life that don't carry some pain with them, but if the good times outweigh the bad, then the pain is lessened."
Like me and Jack. There was no denying that knowing Jack had brought pain to his life like he had never known, but there was no denying that the pain wasn't nothing compared to how good it had been when it was just him and Jack. Sometimes he wished the world would just go away, leave them alone, like they was up on Brokeback again.
"How's Mrs. Harkness?" Thelma asked Elmer.
"Lonely. I swear, if I was a less charitable soul I'd accuse her of going down to the basement and blowing out that flame out on purpose."
"Elmer!"
Elmer cocked an eyebrow at his wife. "Have you ever known that pilot light to go out when I'm not here?"
"Wouldn't be no need ta call here if yer car wasn't parked in the drive," Ennis interjected.
Both Fleishmans looked at Ennis speculatively, and then Elmer shook his head. "Okay, so I'm being a little unfair." Elmer's gaze shifted towards the table. "Was Thelma able to answer your questions about bookkeeping?"
Ennis looked at the ledger book. "Reckon we sort a got off track."
"You're really worried about Richard, aren't you?"
"Yeah." Ennis remembered the old man's eyes, and how hopeless they looked. He had gotten a glimpse of that look from another pair of eyes, these blue, only now he recognized it for what it was. "Don't need to learn nothin' 'bout runnin' no motel," he said with conviction. "Got a real good manager who does a real good job without no one nosin' in."
"But if Rich is too sick," Thelma began.
"Reckon there's all sorts a things that'll make a man sick inside. Feelin' like he ain't worth nothin' is one of 'em," Ennis explained. "I'm gonna make sure Rich knows he's needed jus' as much as he was before Smitty...done what the done."
"And if that isn't all there is to it?" Elmer pushed with concern.
"Ain't no doctor. Ain't nothin' I can do 'bout it. Have ta cross that bridge if it come up." Ennis picked up the ledger book and looked at the clock. "Best be goin'. Sun's risin' earlier nowadays. Thank ya fer dinner."
While he was shouldering on his coat, Ennis looked longingly through the doorway toward the phone on the wall. He hadn't really expected it to ring, but that hadn't stopped him from hoping. He believed that Jack was alive, that he was safe, but his heart he needed to hear Jack's voice.
He was beginning to understand what had driven Jack to show up in Riverton on his wedding day. He was beginning to understand having hope, relying on hope, having dreams for the future that went further than the next day's work. Didn't fully believe in it yet, but what he did have felt mighty good.
"Drive careful." Elmer gave his usual weekly farewell concern.
"You bet."
*** *** *** ***
Rich looked over at the ledger book that Ennis had returned to the shelf that had been its resting spot for over ten years. "Why'd ya brin' that damn thing back?" he spat.
"Where it belongs," Ennis replied, matter-of-factly. The he sat down and swallowed his pride for the well-being of both of them. "Need yer help, Old Man. Don't know shit 'bout runnin' no motel. Don't wanna know nothin' 'bout it, neither. Smitty didn't have no problems with the way ya run the place, so don't figure I should."
Green eyes pinned him with a hard stare. "Don't need no charity, Boy."
Ennis slammed his fist down on the table. "Ain't givin' ya none, ya stubborn ol' fool! Ya think it's easy fer me ta be here admittin' that I need yer help? Didn't ask fer none a this shit, no how. Fuckin' Smitty!"
Despite knowing that giving the old man back at least one of his reasons for living was the right thing to do, it was still a hard pill for Ennis del Mar to swallow. Asking for help, admitting to needing help, went against all he had ever been taught. Then again, it seemed he was doing a lot of going against his daddy's teachings lately.
Truth was, what bother him the most, or maybe it just took the sting out of the tromping to his pride, was thinking on how he wasn't sure if he had ever told Jack he needed him. This needing thing, it was strange how he knew it should make him feel weak and worthless, but instead he just felt stronger than he ever had before.
He felt afraid, too. Jack needed him. Only said so in his sleep, mumbled words that sounded scared and alone while hands and body clung tightly to Ennis. At times it seemed like it was a lifetime ago, at others so recent he could still hear the words floating in the darkness over the bed. It was scary, being needed so much. Was even scarier thinking it might not be that way no more.
"Jack call ya over ta the grocer man's house?"
"Nope," Ennis replied, thankful for the old man's words taking him away from thoughts he had been thinking too much. He only wished they were talking about the motel again. Anything but where Jack was. "News ain't to good, neither. Paper said there might be close ta six hunnerd dead. Some'r sayin' the whole place is fallin' apart."
A barrage of headlines flashed through Ennis' mind...
DEATH TOLL MAY REACH 600.
QUAKE FORCE EXCEEDS ATOMIC BLAST.
LBJ DECLARES ALASKA MAJOR DISASTER AREA.
AFTERSHOCKS, TIDAL WAVES, FIRES STRIKE.
SCORES DEAD.
PROPERTY DAMAGE IN MILLIONS.
PHONE LINES JAMMED.
POWER OUT.
BUILDINGS TOPPLED.
ROADS DESTROYED.
FALLING DEBRIS CRUSHES CAR.
DEATH TOLL VAGUE.
COAST GUARD OFFICER WASHED OUT TO SEA.
Earlier that evening, when Elmer had turned on the news after dinner, all it had taken was the first glimpse of footage from Anchorage to have Ennis out in the back yard, smoking fast and furious, trying to lose in the white puffs all traces of those images of that road, a huge crack right down the middle, big enough to swallow up a whole line a trucks.
"Jack's okay. Sent word he was." The words sounded hollow even to his own ears, but he held on to them just the same. Part of that hope thing he was learning how to have.
Rich didn't say anything, but Ennis didn't expect him to, either. Wasn't nothing that could be said that hadn't already been. Wasn't nothing that could be done, nothing but waiting for Jack to send more word from up north.
TBC...
AUTHOR: VNapier
PAIRING: Ennis/Jack
RATING: R - NC17
FEEDBACK: Always. E mail me at BBMFAN@ZOOMINTERNET.NET
DISCLAIMERS: Standard disclaimers. The characters are not mine, but the story is.
SUMMARY: This is a sequel to 'If Anyone Can Show Just Cause, Speak Now...' and 'Til Death Do Us Part'. Those stories can be found on my
livejournal at http://vln-bbmfan.livejournal.com/
part 1 - http://vln-bbmfan.livejournal.com/23041.html
"Taxes is paid up fer the rest a the year."
Ennis stared at the ledger book in front of him, not seeing the neat and orderly columns of numbers, but an overwhelming mountain of responsibility. Taxes, electricity, water, utilities, repairs, insurance...he might as well have been abducted by one of those flying saucers from Uranus that Alma's daddy had told him was in the paper. The ones that was supposed to have made a big hole in some potato patch over there in England last fall.
Couldn't figure why an alien from outer space would give a damn about spuds. Maybe it was for the same reason he couldn't make heads nor tails out of all those numbers and columns and decimal places. Might help if he could see them better, but his eyes wasn't no good up close. Reading gave him a headache, but he didn't figure that his eyes was the reason his head was throbbing right now.
"Smitty didn't know nothin' 'bout this stuff, neither."
"He didn't?"
"Nope. Left it ta me ta run."
"Shoulda left it all to you in the first place." He still didn't understand why Smitty hadn't left the motel to the man who had been like a father to him. Smithy didn't know that Ennis wouldn't just up and sell it out from under Rich, or even kick the old man out on his ass. Fucking asshole had no right making him do this.
"Ain't much, but fer someone who ain't got nothin' else, it's more'n enough." Rich was watching him closely, as if trying to gauge his reaction. "Ya think 'bout things when ya get ta be older'n dirt."
"Like what?"
Instead of answering, the old man struggled to his feet, leaning heavily on his cane as he hobbled over to the sink. "Fuckin' assholes," was punctuated by the clattering of a spoon being thrown into the stained porcelain sink.
"What ya mean?"
Rich turned, and in a gesture Ennis had come to know meant the old man was either pissed or trying impart some kind of wisdom, a gnarled finger waggled at him. "Don't ya let nothin', ya fuckin' hear me, Boy, nothin' let ya think it's right ta be away from 'im? Ain't right. Don't owe nothin' ta nobody more'n ya owe it ta 'im."
Although the source of Rich's sudden change in demeanor was unknown, Ennis did know that he did not need to be told this particular bit of information, or to whom Rich was referring. "Done figured that out fer myself, Old Man."
"See that ya don't ferget it!" With the wind taken out of his sails, Rich seemed to deflate. "Ya best be gettin' on."
Concern blossomed as Ennis watched Rich retreat back into his bedroom. It was barely noon and the old man was going back to bed.
*** *** *** ***
"It's really pretty simple, Ennis," Thelma explained. "The main thing to remember is that all your debits, the numbers on this side, should equal all your credits, the numbers on the other side."
Simple? He reckoned that making sure that the two sides totalled up to the same sum couldn't be too difficult, but every time he looked down at the ledger, simple went flying out the window. He wasn't even sure why this was making him so crazy. Rich said that Smitty didn't know anything about the running of the motel. Didn't seem that owning and running had much to do with each other, as long as there was someone around to do the running.
"I'm real worried about Rich," Ennis blurted out.
"Is he sick?"
"Don't know fer sure. Always seems ta be sleepin'." Ennis pointed to the ledger on the table between them. "Was showin' me about that there book this mornin'. Wasn't even noon when he told me ta git and went back ta bed. That Delaney boy that's real friendly with Smitty, he told me there's been heart problems."
"Yes, I seem to remember a couple of mentions that Richard had to be taken to the hospital down to Sheridan because of his heart."
Ennis paused at the used of the older man's formal name. "Lungs ain't too good, neither," he added as his insides seemed to turn in on themselves.
Thelma closed the ledger and placed a supportive hand over Ennis' clenched fist. Ennis looked up into her eyes and saw that she did understand.
"Elmer told ya? 'bout Rich an' Earl an' what happened down in Sage?"
"Yes. I'm so sorry."
"Ain't yer fault."
"It doesn't have to be my fault for me to be sorry that you've been hurt, or that Richard has been hurt, or that there's so much hate in the world."
"Don't know what ta do no more. Didn't want that old man ta mean nothin' ta me."
"But he does, doesn't he?"
"Yeah. Feel like he's all I got left a-" The lump that had been lodged in his throat landed in his stomach with a painful thud. "Didn't mean it that way...you an' Elmer mean..."
"Ennis, I understand. Richard is a connection to your past, to your blood kin. He's someone you've come to lean on, which isn't something you do easily. But you know something?"
"What?"
"You've come to mean as much to him as he has to you."
Ennis turned away. "Ya don't know what yer talkin' 'bout."
"Yes, I do. Richard comes into the market every Monday, and every Monday he asks Elmer if you were at our house on Sunday." She laughed gently. "Of course, he asks it in his own unique way so it doesn't sound like that's what he's doing, but he's not fooling anyone but himself. He cares."
"Don't know why." And Ennis honestly couldn't fathom why the old man could do anything but hate him. "Not after what my daddy done to 'im."
"You're not your father, Ennis. Just as there is part of knowing Richard that hurts you, part of knowing you that hurts him, too. No one could share the past that you two do and not feel that way, but at the same time, that painful past is what binds you together, because no one else can fully understand what you're both feeling."
Her words made some sense, but not enough to silence his confusion. "We ain't the only one's that had it hard. Elmer told me 'bout how you was treated fer somethin' that crazy man was doin' on the other side a the world."
"Everyone has their own cross to bear. It's the friends we find along the way that want to help us bear that cross that makes the difference. I'm sure that Richard sees how you were hurt by what your father did, and in trying to ease your pain, maybe he can let go of some of his own."
"How ya mean?"
"No one can bring Earl back, no one can undo that hateful atrocity that was done to him, but I can't imagine that Richard doesn't find hope in the fact that the son of the man who did that deed is nothing like his father. Hate breeds hate, and you're breaking that cycle. Hasn't knowing Richard helped you accept that you aren't alone, that what you and Jack share isn't an oddity, isn't wrong?"
The more he thought about that, the less it made sense. "Don't think so. I mean, I always known Rich and Earl was queer, but that didn't keep me from walkin' away from Jack last summer, or from having times when I wished I'd never met 'im. You and Elmer, you done more ta get me ta accept that it's okay, how I feel on Jack, an' that meetin' 'im was the best thing that ever happened ta me."
Tears glistened in Thelma's eyes, and then spilled down her cheeks. Ennis reached up and wiped them away with his napkin. "Don't cry."
The rattle of the front door opening was a prelude to Elmer's grumbling about cold weather and lonely little old ladies. When he entered the kitchen, his expression immediately became concerned. "What's wrong, Sweetheart? Please tell me there hasn't been bad news about Jack."
"Nothing like that, Dear," Thelma assured him. "Ennis and I were just talking and I got a little emotional." After wiping away the rest of her tears, she patted Ennis hand and addressed her husband with her usual affectionate ease. "Ennis is worried about Richard. He thinks he might be sick."
"He was in the market on Monday. It was a little later than usual, but he didn't seem to be feeling poorly." Elmer frowned and headed for the percolator. "A little tired, maybe, but he is nearly seventy."
Seventy years sounded like an awfully damn long time to Ennis' twenty-year old mind. "Didn't know he was that old."
"Actually, he would have just turned sixty-seven," Elmer clarified. "He has the same birthday as my cousin Martin. January 1, 1897. Don't recall when he told me that, but I'm sure I remember him mentioning it at some point."
1897? That sounded even more incomprehensible to Ennis. Rich had been a real cowboy, in the truest sense of the word. Earl, too. No trucks and trailers back then, just driving cattle from here to there on horseback. He had described Rich and Earl to Jack as being two tough old birds, and maybe that was true at one time, but not anymore. Only that wouldn't be something a man like Rich would ever want to admit. "Ain't got no one but me."
"Ennis?"
Shaking off the feeling, Ennis looked up into the concerned eyes of his two friends. "I think I'm maybe understandin' some a what you was tryin' ta say earlier, 'bout how the hurtin' ain't what's most important."
Thelma nodded, and slipped her arm around Elmer, who was sipping his coffee and totally in the dark. "There are very few things in life that don't carry some pain with them, but if the good times outweigh the bad, then the pain is lessened."
Like me and Jack. There was no denying that knowing Jack had brought pain to his life like he had never known, but there was no denying that the pain wasn't nothing compared to how good it had been when it was just him and Jack. Sometimes he wished the world would just go away, leave them alone, like they was up on Brokeback again.
"How's Mrs. Harkness?" Thelma asked Elmer.
"Lonely. I swear, if I was a less charitable soul I'd accuse her of going down to the basement and blowing out that flame out on purpose."
"Elmer!"
Elmer cocked an eyebrow at his wife. "Have you ever known that pilot light to go out when I'm not here?"
"Wouldn't be no need ta call here if yer car wasn't parked in the drive," Ennis interjected.
Both Fleishmans looked at Ennis speculatively, and then Elmer shook his head. "Okay, so I'm being a little unfair." Elmer's gaze shifted towards the table. "Was Thelma able to answer your questions about bookkeeping?"
Ennis looked at the ledger book. "Reckon we sort a got off track."
"You're really worried about Richard, aren't you?"
"Yeah." Ennis remembered the old man's eyes, and how hopeless they looked. He had gotten a glimpse of that look from another pair of eyes, these blue, only now he recognized it for what it was. "Don't need to learn nothin' 'bout runnin' no motel," he said with conviction. "Got a real good manager who does a real good job without no one nosin' in."
"But if Rich is too sick," Thelma began.
"Reckon there's all sorts a things that'll make a man sick inside. Feelin' like he ain't worth nothin' is one of 'em," Ennis explained. "I'm gonna make sure Rich knows he's needed jus' as much as he was before Smitty...done what the done."
"And if that isn't all there is to it?" Elmer pushed with concern.
"Ain't no doctor. Ain't nothin' I can do 'bout it. Have ta cross that bridge if it come up." Ennis picked up the ledger book and looked at the clock. "Best be goin'. Sun's risin' earlier nowadays. Thank ya fer dinner."
While he was shouldering on his coat, Ennis looked longingly through the doorway toward the phone on the wall. He hadn't really expected it to ring, but that hadn't stopped him from hoping. He believed that Jack was alive, that he was safe, but his heart he needed to hear Jack's voice.
He was beginning to understand what had driven Jack to show up in Riverton on his wedding day. He was beginning to understand having hope, relying on hope, having dreams for the future that went further than the next day's work. Didn't fully believe in it yet, but what he did have felt mighty good.
"Drive careful." Elmer gave his usual weekly farewell concern.
"You bet."
*** *** *** ***
Rich looked over at the ledger book that Ennis had returned to the shelf that had been its resting spot for over ten years. "Why'd ya brin' that damn thing back?" he spat.
"Where it belongs," Ennis replied, matter-of-factly. The he sat down and swallowed his pride for the well-being of both of them. "Need yer help, Old Man. Don't know shit 'bout runnin' no motel. Don't wanna know nothin' 'bout it, neither. Smitty didn't have no problems with the way ya run the place, so don't figure I should."
Green eyes pinned him with a hard stare. "Don't need no charity, Boy."
Ennis slammed his fist down on the table. "Ain't givin' ya none, ya stubborn ol' fool! Ya think it's easy fer me ta be here admittin' that I need yer help? Didn't ask fer none a this shit, no how. Fuckin' Smitty!"
Despite knowing that giving the old man back at least one of his reasons for living was the right thing to do, it was still a hard pill for Ennis del Mar to swallow. Asking for help, admitting to needing help, went against all he had ever been taught. Then again, it seemed he was doing a lot of going against his daddy's teachings lately.
Truth was, what bother him the most, or maybe it just took the sting out of the tromping to his pride, was thinking on how he wasn't sure if he had ever told Jack he needed him. This needing thing, it was strange how he knew it should make him feel weak and worthless, but instead he just felt stronger than he ever had before.
He felt afraid, too. Jack needed him. Only said so in his sleep, mumbled words that sounded scared and alone while hands and body clung tightly to Ennis. At times it seemed like it was a lifetime ago, at others so recent he could still hear the words floating in the darkness over the bed. It was scary, being needed so much. Was even scarier thinking it might not be that way no more.
"Jack call ya over ta the grocer man's house?"
"Nope," Ennis replied, thankful for the old man's words taking him away from thoughts he had been thinking too much. He only wished they were talking about the motel again. Anything but where Jack was. "News ain't to good, neither. Paper said there might be close ta six hunnerd dead. Some'r sayin' the whole place is fallin' apart."
A barrage of headlines flashed through Ennis' mind...
DEATH TOLL MAY REACH 600.
QUAKE FORCE EXCEEDS ATOMIC BLAST.
LBJ DECLARES ALASKA MAJOR DISASTER AREA.
AFTERSHOCKS, TIDAL WAVES, FIRES STRIKE.
SCORES DEAD.
PROPERTY DAMAGE IN MILLIONS.
PHONE LINES JAMMED.
POWER OUT.
BUILDINGS TOPPLED.
ROADS DESTROYED.
FALLING DEBRIS CRUSHES CAR.
DEATH TOLL VAGUE.
COAST GUARD OFFICER WASHED OUT TO SEA.
Earlier that evening, when Elmer had turned on the news after dinner, all it had taken was the first glimpse of footage from Anchorage to have Ennis out in the back yard, smoking fast and furious, trying to lose in the white puffs all traces of those images of that road, a huge crack right down the middle, big enough to swallow up a whole line a trucks.
"Jack's okay. Sent word he was." The words sounded hollow even to his own ears, but he held on to them just the same. Part of that hope thing he was learning how to have.
Rich didn't say anything, but Ennis didn't expect him to, either. Wasn't nothing that could be said that hadn't already been. Wasn't nothing that could be done, nothing but waiting for Jack to send more word from up north.
TBC...