Belated Father's Day Commentary

[vjs2259]

Today I read an article in the NY Times about stressed out Dads. It seems it's not only women who can't have it all. I did notice something interesting when it got to the disparity in what women think men do and what men think they do, both around the house and in terms of child care. Look at this section:

Then again, some contributions may be

Comments

[delenntoo]

Oh my - I *totally* agree! My hubby and I have been married almost 32 years, and about 10 years ago he took over washing his own laundry as well as the towels, and used to wash our youngest son's clothes for him. He often will say "well I do all the laundry" and my reaction is "so what? I did all the laundry for the first 20 years we were married, including poopy cloth diapers." That usually doesn't get a very positive reaction though. ;-p

That article is very perceptive, but your comments even more so. Certain chores are considered the female's job; I used to hate it when my husband would said he had to babysit because I was going somewhere. They are his kids too! He is just being the dad, not the babysitter. Do you know what I mean?

Well, for now, that is motherhood and wifedom (is that a word?), but it would be nice to see things change and become more equal.

[vjs2259]

My husband is v. good, but my focus was the article (written by a woman btw.) I read a good deal of feminist writing, and it seems some people think the goal of equality is All Done Now, and the rest see it as far away as ever. The discrepancy interests me.

[vjs2259]

The years of solitary living do help. The main problem is threshold issues (how many dirty dishes on the counter are a problem? One? All of them?) and that issue of personal responsibility. I'm lucky and count myself so, but there are still some issues, even after ten years of marriage.