I'm still here :(

[violettestars]

Sorry I've been MIA for awhile. I'm still here though. As some of you know I have anxiety and panic attacks. I haven't had the best month. I went home to New Jersey for Thanksgiving. First time I've been home in four years. I was excited and had a great time. I was fine when I left until I saw the Delaware Memorial Bridge. I lost it and started

Comments

[supernutjapan]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so sad hon. I felt that way last year until mom came. Def, finish your studies hon. That's your ticket back in the long term, aye?!

[violettestars]

Thank you. I'm feeling a bit better but still not 100%. I'll be graduating next December and rationally I know I should stay. I could also transfer but then I'd have to wait 6 months to be considered a resident of NJ again. So for the time being I'm staying even though I don't want to.

[metallidean_grl]

Sorry to hear you have been mired in a depressed state. They can sneak up on you so quickly. At least you were able to figure out what was causing the feelings. At least knowing that can help you deal with it and hopefully climb out of it.

Finish up your studies. That is the most important thing right now. It would be a shame to quit when the finish line is in sight. If you feel anxious or panicky because of this just comfort yourself saying that you are almost done, almost out of here. Psyche yourself out, in other words.

All things happen for a reason, so what happened after Thanksgiving was a sign to you as to where you eventually want to be. A goal to attain for yourself, that is absolutely attainable. That goal should help you get through the times when it doesn't seem you can do it anymore.

Hang in there. You are made of strong stuff than you realize. Take care.

[metallidean_grl]

I'm sorry to hear you have been mired in a depressed state. That sucks. Hope you are feeling better now, though. At least you were able to figure out why you slipped into a depression. They can sneak up on you so fast, and knowing why it came about makes it easier to try and climb out of it.

You definitely need to stay at school. 6 more classes in a drop in the bucket compared to what you have already done. If you were to quit now you would never forgive yourself down the road. The end is in sight, so keep on keeping on. You can do it.

I believe all things happen for a reason, so I think it's a good thing you went home for Thanksgiving, because what resulted out of that is a clear sign to you where you need to go and be once school is done. You might not have found that out till much later and then wasted time and energy doing other things, or being other places. Hang on, you got this and soon enough you will be heading home.

You are stronger than you realize. Hang in there, and take care.

[violettestars]

Thank you. I'm on my way back from New Jersey to Alabama. I had a great Christmas at home and is feeling so much better. Although, my four year old nephew tears at my heart.

I got there Christmas Eve and he didn't know I was coming home for Christmas. When I walked in the door he gasped and said, "Aunt Dawn!"

I was like surprise. And he was all I surprised! And yesterday I was playing with him with his race track and he says to me, "Aunt Dawn do you like playing with me?" And I told him yes. and then he says, "I like playing with you it's super fun!"

So, yeah, by this time next year I'm done with school and can go back home.

[metallidean_grl]

That is so cool you have a nephew that loves to play with you. I hope you can hold on to that with him. So cool that you now have an end in sight for school and being home. Something definitely to look forward to.

[violettestars]

yes he's a lot fun but he wouldn't talk to me a few days after I left. my brother said he was looking for me and sulking. so i guess he was a little mad at me for leaving.