Last night, look we're all getting shitty.

( Read more... )

I was told, that it wasn't me, that people have their own shit to deal with; it's nothing I've said or done. Well fuck it, I'm tired of leaving voicemail after voicemail, comments, and sending messages and getting no returns. I'm tired of giving and giving more than I should ever expect in return. Tired of giving myself to people. Of being selfish ( Read more... )

Why am I such a piece of shit? Why don't I just sleep with the filth on my floor. I belong to no one, not even myself. I am Nothing.

All it takes is one person and I feel revived. I genuinely love these people.

"But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall then I think we'd see the beauty then and standing staring in awe at our still lives pose, like a bowl of oranges ..."

I need something to focus on- a goal typeish thing.


( Read more... )

I feel bloody brilliant. I am enjoying this final school year after all and all the people I know within it. I only wish to be a little more aesthetic in my spare-time. I'm working on that, though- I am. Trying to. In the process of. Yep ...

I hate: needles, knives, and scissors, especially when the are in my throat.
I hate: hyperventalating and spitting up blood, especially when my throat is too swollen to allow me to make the motions to spit ... or even swallow.
I hate: Having strep throat three times in like four months, especially when I find out that I have a fucked up throat and ( Read more... )

I'm such a God damned fuck up. All summer I've fucked everything up and all at my expense. So much for a SAV[E]ings. I have people who won't talk to me, (which really fucking hurts), I have people who want me thrown off a fucking building (supposedly that person really didn't type that, whatever it still isn't comforting to read something like that ( Read more... )

"I Don't Care What You Call Me"

I never made time
You never made much sense
We never stood a chance
If we're honest

You were not the first
And I won't be the last
But if it makes it better
Well you can call me what you will

Get home late
No-one's here
Pace around the house
and sit in my chair

And if you think of me 
it doesn't mean a thing
So why don't you just ( Read more... )

Release. I bitched myself out yesterday for not being able to write, I thought, 'I must be bored.' But that all changed today.  I cannot be cruel, and I do not mean to be. But if anyone is going to throw me "off a fucking building" they will not have me "thrown off," I'll do it myself. But I would never do that, not for anyone's satisfaction.

I'm ( Read more... )