Barely Breathing - Chapter 30
Chapter 30 - Empire of Gentle Hate
JULY 18th, 2009 Ville’s Home : Helsinki, Finland : 10:49 AM
Sweat dripped down my neck as I leaned over the various pots and pans on Ville’s stove. Once again I wondered why I was the only one currently slaving away in the kitchen. I scratched my head through the messy knot I had pulled my hair into, scanning the bookmarked recipe again.
“How is everything in here?” Missy’s voice almost caused me to overturn the pot I had been stirring.
Scowling at her I went back to reading the instructions. “It would be going a lot faster if you hadn’t ditched me to help the guys. You’re much better at cooking.”
She stuck her tongue out and swiped the apron from behind me. “Why do you think I came back? Just to watch you toil away?”
“Maybe, who knows how much your husband has rubbed off on you?”
Stepping up next to me, she nudged my hip at the comment. After sharing a playful smile she took one of the extra spoons and began checking the progress of the steaming pots in front of us. “That’s saying a lot coming from the girl who’s attached at the hip to Ville.”
“We are not attached at the hip.” She raised her eyebrow at the slight whine in my voice.
“Sure, you’re not. Now that you two are good again, you spend more time with him than anyone else. You’ve known the man a month and a half and you two seem to be hot and cold more than Novak runs around naked.”
Turning to her, I put my very unattached hip against the counter. “What do you mean by that? We’ve only had a couple of arguments, usually over misunderstanding.”
“Well, everyone gets that you and Ville just click. Which is awesome, Lord knows that man needed to have someone in his life again. But, it’s kind of crazy how often you two do have arguments since you’ve met,” she said, shrugging at the frown she could easily read on my face, “I’m not saying it’s completely your fault. Obviously a lot of it was caused by Dunn. But, I can see where he got a little crazy in his assumptions about you guys. To anyone that doesn’t know better, you guys seem like any other couple. Hell, if things were different I would have set you both up in a heartbeat. If you were five or ten years older, of course.”
Her statement made me freeze instantly. Laughing uneasily, I wiped at an imaginary smudge on my face. “Yeah, if only I was a few years older. Or he could be the one to be younger, too.”
My insides were squirming in discomfort as I poorly attempted a joke. But Missy seemed none the wiser. Laughing she took her attention from me and turned to the sound of the door opening. I followed her gaze where it landed on the guys coming through the door with three new people.
“See, I told you they would be in the kitchen.” Bam stepped in before everyone to pull Missy to his side for a kiss on the cheek.
Smiling lightly at the scene, I gave my attention back to Ville who was speaking softly to the three people standing with him. I stepped forward and fixed my hair nervously. Realizing I was coming forward for an introduction, he reached over and pulled me next to him.
“Olivia, this is my family. My father Kari, mother Anita, and my younger brother Jesse. Everyone this is Olivia. The young woman I’ve been telling you about.” Ville’s huge smile made me glow.
Jesse reached is hand forward for me to shake along with his father, “Pleased to meet you.”
“Likewise.” I shook both their hands mumbled a reply in kind. Turning to the older woman, I wasn’t prepared for the huge hug I was engulfed in.
“Oh, Hunny. Aren’t you just darling. No wonder Ville couldn’t shut up about you.”
Blushing, I stepped back from the embrace, only to run into Ville’s front, “He probably doesn’t talk that much.”
“You’re too modest,” her smile lit up her face as she said those seemingly cliched words. “I can’t think of a time in more than four years that he talked about someone new in his life so animatedly.”
Chuckling, Ville lightly gripped my arm to draw my attention, “We’re going back outside to finish setting up. Can I trust you ladies to stay here without stories of my childhood being told?”
Anita simply laughed at his accusation and ushered them out. “Dear, leave us be. Missy already knows the worst of them. Olivia and I are going to get to know one another. If she’s as clever and sweet as you’ve been telling me, we’ll be fast friends.”
“Okay, now he is definitely throwing things out of proportion no matter how kind he’s trying to be.” I said. Ville just winked at the comment as he and the guys exited the kitchen.
“Don’t listen to her, Anita. She wouldn’t be on tour with us if she wasn’t more mature than the idiots with us. And don’t get me started on Ville and her when they’re together. They could talk all day and forget the rest of us exist. They are attached at the hip: watching movies constantly, playing guitar, ignoring each other while they read books. Two peas in a pod. We would have introduced them sooner if we realized they would get along so well.”
I let out a huge huff, “I told you we’re not attached at the hip.”
Chuckling much like her son Anita patted my back and went to join Missy at the stove. “If only you were a couple years older, dear. Then I could harass my son until you were my daughter-in-law. One of these days I’ll make one of my children get married.”
Both of their comments had lit my face up like a tomato, but I couldn’t help laughing as Anita continued to speak. She was the funniest woman I had met outside of my own family.
“Okay, I think it’s time stop talking about me.”
The kitchen stayed more active and bright than it had probably ever seen as we continued to talk merrily over the dishes we were preparing. And if I had thought being without Missy in here had made a difference, it was nothing compared to having our new help. What had taken Missy and I two hours to prepare was easily outdone once Anita Valo strolled into the kitchen to take charge. There were dozens of platters filled with food set on the counter by the time people started showing up a of couple hours later.
And thankfully Missy and I had been shooed upstairs by Anita to get ready before they showed up. Since it was a nice day outside Missy had chosen to wear a pair of nice jeans and a light blouse. In the grand tradition of over dressing to meet new people I had thrown on one of my favorite dresses that consisted of artfully torn pieces of chiffon, heather grey wool, and white eyelet cotton. It was a little warm for the weather, but I couldn’t resist wearing it because of the bunches of knit flowers littered across the front. It made me feel like summer.
After curling our hair and making ourselves look like we hadn’t been up early today cooking, we had come downstairs to see the Dunn and Novak had arrived via a cab around noon. Each had a beer in hand and were chatting away merrily with Ville, Jesse, Kari, and Bam. It didn’t take long for the flood of people to come after that. Mige and his wife Vedrana came first, each carrying two pies and a cake a piece. After catching up with us and introducing his wife Mige made a beeline to join the men who had taken up the collection of chairs set to the side of the lawn. Ville, of course, sitting in his metal snail.
As we stood near the driveway talking with Vedrana, another car pulled up. A large smile spread across her face as the three figures climbed from the interior. “Oh, I know that little head of brunette waves anywhere!”
Bending down she collected the small girl as Linde came up to stand with us with an extremely beautiful woman. “Olivia, Missy, let me introduce my girlfriend Toni. And Olivia.”
The little girl’s head popped up when she heard her name twice. “We have the same name!”
It was hard not to be taken with the little girl. She looked a lot like her father, and was cute as a button. “Yes, we do. And your father has been reminding me that it’s the best name any girl could wish for since I met him.”
This caused the adults to laugh while her face grew even brighter. “It is! Aunt Vedrana was just teaching me a really pretty way to write my name, she called it cur-siph.”
“Cursive, dear,” Vedrana corrected lightly. It was easy to tell the two adored each other.
“That’s it! Do you write your name in cursive?”
“Sometimes. How about I show you how I write mine a little later in your Uncle Ville’s study?” She nodded her head vigorously at my idea. Turning to her father, I pointed behind me at the table for food and the group of men, “If you want to, you can set down the food on the buffet the boys set up and join the men in whatever exhilarating conversation they are having.”
He gave me a hug before walking around to take me up on my suggestion. Toni stayed with us women and instantly got swept up in our conversation about the social habits of men. I was surprised to hear that she was also in the music industry as we talked more. Then again, she looked like she would fit that role perfectly.
The last of the guests arrived about the same time. It was hard to stop the giggling when I saw the children of our last two families. All the band members had daughters. It was hard not to be amused by the image of how they would all deal with this situation in fifteen years.
Burton’s family was the first to make it up the driveway. Between him and his wife swung a little girl no older than three. It was so adorable to see each of these men I had come to know with their children and significant others, but it was bringing me back to reality about the large age difference between the group and I. It was nice that none of the women who had come were completely aware of my age, and they acted like I was only a little younger then Missy. It was a blessing to look more mature with the hair cut she had given me last month.
Instead of standing sentry at the door, we all began to move inside as Gas and his wife came to the gate door. It wasn’t hard to see the reason it had taken them a little longer to make it to us. Nestled against Gas’s chest was a little bundle who seemed to be barely awake. His wife held various bags which I’m sure were a mix of things for the baby and the food they had brought for the potluck.
All of the women instantly gathered around the baby. Cooing and awing quickly led Gas to relinquish his daughter to his wife, who stayed with the group as we stood around the buffet table. “Why don’t you take Lara right now, Natali? I’ll go and talk with the other men,” he said.
Natali, his wife, chuckled but took the baby girl. “Men. Can’t take a little estrogen.”
This caused all the women to go into a fit of laughter in agreement with her statement. It was obvious that all of these women were super close and Missy was even on familiar terms with them. I was just glad they were treating me like one of the group.
The clinking of a bottle against metal drew everybody’s attention. Ville gave a small wave to the group before speaking. “Thanks everyone for coming today. It’s nice to sit down with the people closest to us on occasion. I believe everyone came here to eat! So let’s get started.”
The boys had done a great job laying out the tables. They had made a giant square so that we could all hold a conversation without anyone being cut off. It reminded me of those old medieval movies when they had banquets in the great hall. The group gathered around getting everyone settled into seats before they went up to get food. I had ended up between Ville and Missy at the table.
As I sat down with my plate, I couldn’t help but feel special to be here with these people. “How often does this happen?”
“Not often enough,” Vedrana said across from me. She elbowed Mige as she said it, causing him to lean over and kiss her on the cheek.
Jesse ruffled his brother’s hair, “Generally we can’t get this one out of his hideout most days. We’re just glad he deemed it a special occasion to have everyone over.”
“From what I hear the one who’s been getting him out more is that young woman,” Anita said innocently from her place next her husband.
Groaning frustration I tried for the thousandth time today to stay out of the conversation. “I have not. Don’t go joining Team Missy, Anita.”
“You can’t help if she’s right, dear.” Missy’s voice practically had a maniacal cackle to it as she spoke. No one could say my cousin didn’t enjoy winning.
Natali was bouncing the baby on her knee as she spoke, “Never argue with Anita. We have all learned when she insists on something she is always right.”
“Quite so, that is how I get them all to help me pester my son.” I had never seen a mother more proud of her meddling.
“She really means it when she says ‘pester’. She’s been harassing me and Ville for grandkids since we started dating,” Jesse said.
If I had been eating something I think I would have choked on it at Jesse’s statement.
“Not often you get a mother who’s encouraging you to knock up your girlfriend. Unfortunately for her, we had a father with a large supply of condoms at our disposal,” he finished.
“I didn’t want you ‘knocking up’ anyone, just conveniently having a slip up. And at this point I just want one of you to get married,” She gave a poke to her son’s side, but Ville came to his younger brother’s rescue.
“So that grandchildren will follow.”
There seemed to be a light that flashed on in Toni’s eyes as she gazed between me and the oldest Valo brother. “Why haven’t you been nagging him about Olivia, then?”
“Yeah, they seem to get along extremely well.” Leena and Natali nodded their heads in agreement as they followed in her thought process. At his moment I would have given anything for one of their husbands to speak up.
And of course Missy took this as another opportunity to bring more people to her side in something that had never been a competition until now. “You have no idea. I was just telling her that they are attached at the hip.”
“Not this again,” I moaned in frustration.
“Oh, hush you.”
I glared at my cousin as she attempted to silence me. “Ville, why aren’t you defending me?”
“I’m just as much a victim, sweetheart.” Batting his eyes innocently, I knew he was just avoiding getting any more involved then he already was.
While I was glaring at him for his ridiculous acting skills the conversation continued to rage around us. “Well, she has my approval.”
“Oh, she could come to our lunches when they boys are gone, wouldn’t you like that, Olivia?” Vedrana reached past Missy to take my hand. It seemed I had been accept into the HIM wives club without my consent. It was a bittersweet invitation since it was just a reminder of how much I couldn’t have him.
“But I’m not in a relationship with him,” I tried to speak up again.
Now Anita seemed to have gotten past any issues she may have had with my age. “Pish posh, you two would make a great couple.”
Leaning over Ville set his arm on the back on my chair and mock whispered in my ear. “There is nothing you can say to dissuade the beast at this point.”
“Though, you probably would get tired of this old tower eventually, dear. All those weird animals and religious artifacts around the house,” Anita said.
That sentence finally caused his amusement at my expense to end. His back became straighter as he gave his mother a black look.
“Okay, hold up, now I’m moving in with him too? When did this get decided?” This conversation had taken on a life of its own and nothing I had tried to protest was working at this point.
“Ladies, that’s enough. While I admit it’s quite entertaining to watch Olivia have a meltdown at your teasing I draw the line at hurting the house’s feelings.”
I hit him in the shoulder, sticking my tongue out playfully when he scowled at me. Even with our behavior the conversation turned to different topics that made me less on edge, for the most part. They did continue to tease us lightly if it came up, but mostly they spoke about the rest of the tour, plans for the new record, and all the children for the rest of our early dinner. Listening to how happy everyone was made me wish I could really be part of this band’s life. But realistically, I knew better.
We all stayed around the table for a couple of hours before everyone started to split off into smaller groups to chat and enjoy the sun. I volunteered to help clear up the mess with Anita, Vedrana, and Toni while the other women sat with their children.
As I picked up the leftovers and cleared everything that needed to be cleaned I noticed that Dunn still hadn’t come back from the front walkway. Setting down the items in my hands, I let Anita know I would be right back. She shooed me away, as I was learning was a habit of hers, before returning to clearing the buffet.
I didn’t need to look far to find Dunn, he was leaning against one of the cars in the driveway. “Dunn, are you alright? You came out here twenty minutes ago.”
“Do I look alright?” He didn’t look at me as he took another swig of the beer in his hand.
It didn’t escape my notice that he was looking anywhere but me. “That doesn’t answer my question.”
“If you need to know, no I’m not! What the fuck has the last hour been about?” The look on his face almost made me wish I hadn’t wanted to him to look at me.
“Having a nice meal with everyone... What are you talking about?”
His laugh was hard as he looked at me like I was the one going crazy. “I’m talking about the ‘let’s plan Ville and Olivia’s future wedding’ free- for- all that just took place. It was kind of hard to miss.”
“Are you fucking serious?” It hit me how stupid this conversation was. He was back to his old accusations. We hadn’t even made it two weeks since making up. “You’re mad about six other people’s conversation. You are aware I don’t have any say over the words other people choose to say, right?”
“At any time you could have asked them to stop. But you didn’t, and neither did Ville.” If he could have been foaming at the mouth now would have been the moment. He had moved closer to me, probably trying to intimidate me but I was higher up on the little hill then he was.
“We did try! Do you have situational amnesia or something? Why the hell are you blowing this out of proportion? I thought we had worked everything out.” All I wanted was for him to shut up for a few minutes and think about all the shit he was saying.
The anger left his face a little and he attempted to touch my arm, which I quickly move out of his reach. “That was until I felt like you may be lying to me. I’m looking out for you, Olivia!”
The back gate swinging open nearly made both of us jump out of our skin. Ville stood with his arms crossed and a look of frustration on his face. “What in the hell are you two arguing about?! Everyone in the backyard was starting to get concerned about the yelling.”
“You two fucking around,” Dunn practically spat the words out.
“You can’t be fucking seri-” Ville quickly grabbed my arm to hold me back as I made my way forward to physically get my point through.
He set his hands on both my arms holding me back from doing anything I would regret. His voice was low and menacing, something I rarely had heard from him as he spoke his next words. “Dunn, go for a walk, go inside, just get the hell out of my sight until you can calm the fuck down! When you get back we can think about having a reasonable conversation.”
The outrage was clear in his body language as he stared us down. “I don’t need-”
“No. You do. This has gotten out of control and I’m not going to stand here on my own property having a yelling match because you are being too pig headed to sort out your opinion, feelings, and reality.” I couldn’t see it but I was sure Ville’s face was a sight to behold. His voice was enough to frighten me right now.
“Whatever, man.”
His face contorted in anger, but he turned around with his hands shoved in his pockets and walked out into the neighborhood. As I watched his retreating form, the last few moments caught up with me. My eyes began to tear up and my whole body began to shake. I wasn’t sure if I want to cry or beat someone up.
Ville’s POV
I stared down at her quaking form, unsure whether to comfort her or back away. The anger radiating off of her was intimidating for someone so small. But, I could also see how upset the conversation had made her. Streams of tears were running down her cheeks quickly. Taking a tentative step forward, I pulled her body to mine and rested my head on hers.
“Everything will be fine. He was just worked up.” I tried to get the frustration out of my voice to be more soothing, I was failing miserably though.
“No! He’s been acting like a lunatic for weeks now. Finally he starts acting normal again and now he fucking jumps right back on the looney bandwagon.” I watched as her hand came up to rub at her temple.
Rubbing her shoulders lightly, I turned her so we were facing each other. “All he needs is to calm down and see that he’s being irrational.”
“He can’t have it both ways! He can’t be fine and normal one minute and crying wolf the next. I don’t want to cater to his selfish whim when it can cost me the person I love!” The last words escaped her lips and her hands instantly flew to cover her mouth.
“What did you say?” My words were soft.
She sucked in a deep breath of air involuntarily. “Nothing, I just can’t take Dunn’s childishness anymore.”
I was silent as I slowly examined her. The air in my chest seemed to seize up and I was barely breathing. She wore layers of wool and chiffon, but I still felt like she was suddenly naked to my eyes with the way she trembled under my gaze. Not being able to take my stare anymore, she turned her head to the side, effectively hiding her face behind a curtain of hair.
My heart began to race at the implication of what she had just admitted to. “I guess he’s not being irrational then. He can tell… he knows I’ve been lying to him!”
“Darling, what are you talking about?” While trying to sort out how her statement made me feel, I didn’t completely comprehend her words at first.
“He knows! He always did. Just like Missy can tell that I’m keeping shit from her.”
She was beginning to become hysterical as she took a few steps back from me. “Olivia, you aren’t making sense. You aren’t lying or keeping things from anyone.”
“Yes, I am. You just heard me. They can tell that I’ve been ignoring Bam’s stupid ultimatum and now I’m fucking everything up. And it’s going to be all my fault-”
I didn’t let her finish the sentence; I cut her off with my lips, like all the best semi-dramatic rock stars would do. She didn’t react at first, her mouth remaining slack and unyielding under mine. But, the longer I held her there moving my lips gently over hers, the feeling of her hands began to slowly creep over my chest to lace behind my neck. Taking this as my cue I pulled away a little and cupped her cheek to hold her head at a better angle. Now that I was kissing her, I couldn’t get myself to stop, especially with the enthusiasm she seemed to be gaining.
As I pulled back Olivia stood dazed, her eyes fluttering and mouth pleasantly rosy and swollen. I could almost feel myself falling into shock at my own actions. Well, until the noise of Mige laughing broke me out of my haze. It was a cold plunge back into reality.
What in Ozzy’s name was I doing kissing her in public?!
Looking around us to make sure no one had seen a thing I grabbed her limp hand and dragged her through the front door, quickly slamming it behind us.
“Toivani, darling you need to talk. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. You have every right to be mad at me.”
“I’ll be really mad if you apologize again,” sniffling lightly Olivia wiped away at the streaks of mascara under her eyes. Her lashes covered them as she spoke, but her voice sounded lighter than before. Leaning forward she let her head rest on my chest, breathing deeply. Something told me she wasn’t mad.
A/N: I can’t believe I finally got to this point. It seems like it was never going to happen. I would like to thank each of you as readers, especially the ones who have been here since the beginning. Also a big thanks to my wonderful beta poisonxangel, who got this chapter back to me in less then five hours. I keep sending her things last minute and she has risen to the challenge each time. I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and is looking forward to next week. Please comment, I really want to know how people enjoyed this much anticipated moment.
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