31. Open Topic

[viagra]

2,100 words. Approximately 10 minutes, 30 seconds. Audio version here.

I know that I’m supposed to do free writing by longhand, but I don’t really have a notebook or anything that I can write in, so I’m doing it through the computer screen. Does that work as well? Is there some magic inherent in writing it out longhand? I know that it’s definitely

Comments

[kittenboo]

This is just wonderful, I’m so glad you gave it a try! It really encapsulates trying out free writing and the creative process. Getting “out of your own head” can be so hard. And this really shows that anxiety over writing an idol piece and wanting it to be good enough. It really shines through how you are grappling with showing the world more of yourself

[viagra]

Thanks :-) I did do some editing to this, originally I had the whole thing I had written there, but I trimmed it down and did some purposeful editing to make it a final piece. The free writing did feel quite a bit like how I normally write, but I just didn't give myself a jumping off point, so it was also kind of weird feeling. But I loved the product, the inner voice, the struggle of the process-I feel like I write a lot about writing and about the process, so this ended up still being very me but I think maybe "more" me than I have been. I definitely do want to do this process more often, though, outside of the confines of the competition. I ended up using the free writing on its own this time, but even just reading through it it was giving me ideas for pieces and lots of jumping off points, so it was much more helpful than I expected it to be!

[lyssa027]

This portrayed my brain so well, even though it wasn't intentional ;)

[viagra]

I love that, though! It's always a nice feeling to know that other people can relate. You ever get that feeling you're the only one that thinks the way you do? I like knowing that I'm not so special in that sense! :-)

[dadi]

Ah the consciousness stream! I read your first version, which was captivating enough and did mirror my own brain quite a bit ;) This is more condensed and a really good example what goes on in our minds when we try to "let go"...to just let the thoughts flow!

[viagra]

Yeah I definitely wanted to edit it down a little bit from the original version, partly because I wanted it to be less specifically about the contest and more about just my thoughts, but also because I didn't want to come across whiny! (But I think it's okay to be whiny in our own thoughts.) I'm really happy with the finished product and I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's nice to know I'm not the only one thinking this kind of stuff. :-)

[encrefloue]

This feels like an intimate present to the reader. It's beautiful to see a seed of your thoughts, and how it unlocks into spiraling fractals of synaptic pathways. I respect how fully you've committed to reframing your Idol experience into an unflinching pursuit of self. Bravo!

[viagra]

Thank you so much! I thought this would be a good way to kind of top off my portfolio and the other stuff I've done this season. I'm glad you enjoyed it :-D

[alycewilson]

This was a very worthwhile exercise. I like the cycling back on these thoughts, of breathing and dying. It mimics so many of our thought processes these days. Well done.

[viagra]

Thank you! I originally was doing this just to come up with something to write about, but I ended up kind of liking the product. I'm glad it worked for you! :-)

[alycewilson]

I could tell! I felt your frustration at the beginning of it, but then I loved how it became a sort of litany. Also, I have to tell you that the line about "How many Seans had to die so that this one could keep living" is going to stick with me. People always ask you what you would change about your life if you could go back, and I always say nothing. Because one seemingly minor change could mean I wouldn't have the little boy I have today, and that would not be something I could live with! But it's interesting to think about the parallel universe Alyces out there, like the one who stuck with her first husband and tried to make it work and would be so miserable right now, or the one who followed her dream to move to Chicago and try out for the Second City Players after college. Who knows where she'd be? But it doesn't matter, because where I am now is pretty damn good.