falling backward

[veronicamars]

Title: falling backward
Author: ashley
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica

Word Count: 744
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Veronica exits the scene, Logan muses.

Spoilers: Episode 1.18, “Weapons of Class Destruction”

Author's Note: Work in Progress. Unbetaed, first attempt at VM fic. Feel free to abuse/offer criticism.

Comments

[bailunrui]

Excellent fic! Your characterization of Logan is dead-on and I love your style of prose. You have me hooked. I cannot wait to read the rest.

[princess_lola89]

OMG!!! I so can't wait for more! This rocked!!

[becca_radcgg]

Dude. That was bloody amazing. I loved it. Every single part of it. And to get all fangirly, I cannot wait for more (you must write immediately).

But she was in her car and her car was in reverse and out of the parking lot before he could do either of those things, and he was left standing there like a complete jackass, thinking that wow, this was like an incredibly bad movie.

I loved this run-on sentence. Grammatically it has too many "ands" but it's absolutely perfect because he's calling it exactly as it happened. A series of unstoppable events.

But really, better not to think of his parents and hot, Veronica Mars kisses and movies and the burning soft lips of Veronica Mars.

And the obsession starts to take hold. The fact that you've inserted her name twice in the same line is just brilliant. I don't think you really need the comma between "hot" and "Veronica Mars" at the beginning though...

"I think we need to talk," he said quietly, ready to turn the key and follow her to wherever she deemed appropriate; her house

[__lovebuzzz]

I'm loveing these new icons with the kiss creen caps.

[poetrytoprose]

There's more right? Because I've already fallen in love. You write the characters SO well. YAY! :D

[violetmist2003]

Wonderful writing. I can't think of anything to criticize off the top of my head, so I'll just say I'd love to read the rest of it.