LJ Idol 10 - Week 2 - That One Friend

[veritas_st]

The rule was explained to him when he was 11, red faced with embarrassment and anger. His mama sat him down and paced in front of him, then crouched and took his small hands in hers. She always smelled of sugar and flour, he remembers that now, the smell coming to him like a dream

Comments

[marlawentmad]

Brava! I love the pace, the dialogue, and the use of repetition.

[veritas_st]

Thank you so much! I havent written fiction for a while and it was nice to get back into it.
xx

[ryl]

What a sweet story! I love the slow reveal with the flashbacks and that last confessional conversation. And a happy ending--we need more of those!

[veritas_st]

We certainly do need more happy endings! Thank you lovely

xx

[murielle]

A beautifully written love story. I love your use of accent and cultural language.

[veritas_st]

Thank you, I do have to get it American checked though as I am British and sometimes I add things in that are too British!

xx

[murielle]

"...I am British..."

In that case you deserve the writer's equivalent of a standing ovation. Well done!

[veritas_st]

mwah! xx

[rayaso]

What a great story, beautifully written! It was truly wonderful.

[veritas_st]

Thank you lovely!
xxx

[dreamersdare]

Good work, honey. I liked it; there was a bittersweetness to it that wove really well through the narrative. I also really liked the repetition of the key line.

[veritas_st]

Cheers darling! MWAH
xxx