Dead Until Dark Spork

[veraliana]

Subject says it all. I posted this here because it's 398 words too long for badfic_quotes . I know, I'm such a rebel. This is a spork of excerpts taken throughout the whole book all for you viewing pleasure horror pleasure! My spork is in bold, and I've separated scenes with hyphens to avoid confusion as it kind of jumps around.

I put on my spork robe and hat

Comments

[ran_mouri82]

"They're older than I am by centuries," Bill said, looking very vampirey.

...Whut?

[bowl_of_glow]

...this is, like... a published book?
*blinks*
Really?

I thought it couldn't get worse than the Twilight series. Boy, was I wrong.

Good spork!

[cheryl_bites]

The fabric was thinly scattered ... What does that even mean? >.<

my boobs showed. OK, I think I get the idea now. O_o

[norcalnoise]

I feel somewhat ashamed now that I read up to book eight in this series in about a week and a half XD

At least when I read it, I knew that the book wasn't some great masterpiece. It's glorified fanfiction, without the fan part XD totally smutty.

Great sporking, I was giggling the whole time :D

[veraliana]

Eh. Don't be ashamed. I read all four Twilight books and genuinely enjoyed them for what they were. I admit, they weren't great but I still had fun. Nothing wrong with that.

I'm glad you like my spork. ^^ I actually forgot a scene. Remember the one where he's screwing her in the mud and howling at the moon? I was all "...Ew, mud" and "Is she dating a vampire or a werewolf?"

[norcalnoise]

I went and bought Eclipse and Breaking Dawn the day they came out XD

Ohhh I remember that! I was like "......?"

[ironic_sun]

This... was actually published?