Fractured Fairy Tale-My 2010 Ficathon Entry

[venusorbit1]

C'mon, if you didn't know it was me by the end of the first page, you must have a nail sticking out of your brain like Happy Gilmore.

Comments

[dhoney]

Not gonna lie. Totally do not get the Neverending reference which makes me sad 'cause I used to love the flying dog movie! Bastion! Atreyu!

Too much fabulous. I can't wait to see the rest of the entries from the ficathon. This piece was so quintessentially V, with the realness, & the sex, & the ridiculous cliches. In other words, so quintessentially V that it is, of course, hilarious & awesome.

I thought my favorite part would be N buried in wench-breasts. Then, K told Z not to throw up on horse. Then, dragon-cat was completely ambivalent. Then, K sexed coma-chick, which dragon-cat watched (I guess dragon masturbation is silent & w/o flames?). Then- do you really want me to go through the whole fic, 'cause I can, but I figure I'll spare you since you know what you wrote!

It's such a great blend of real reactions & scenarios (poor mermaid in her own filth!) into these absurd situations & your inclusion of all these bits & pieces of fairy tales! <3 for the little sewing boy! And for the almost useless goat that they

[venusorbit1]

(It was the dragon. "Falkor" was the dragon. I used to be scared of that dragon.)

(I guess dragon masturbation is silent & w/o flames?)

Yeah I should have thrown this in. Next year you can be my Ficathon Technical Adviser!

And for heart-meltingly nice guy J He's such a nice guy. He gets invited to girls' night, he's such a nice guy.

I have to admit - I was waiting for the pervert unicorn pet for the princess. Maybe he'll show up when she's a teenager & as horny as her mother once was.

OH YEAH. Sorry Helios, I'll try to squeeze a perverted unicorn in there next year!

So, the girls get revenge on Serenity for cursing them by making Endymion impotent for a little long while, right? 'Cause the poor guy hasn't suffered enough...

"Stop cursing my junk!" /Endymion

[dhoney]

Until this moment, I had no doubt that Falkor was a flying dog. I actually went & looked it up. Falkor is indeed a dragon (who looks like a freaking dog).

He's such a nice guy
Do they paint his nails & play with his hair & lament about why they can't find a guy like him right in front of him?

"Stop cursing my junk!" /Endymion
Would cursing be most opportune:
A. Immediately milli-seconds prior pre-penetration
B. Once inside/during penetration
C. Milliseconds prior to ejaculation & sweet, blissful, beautiful release
D. All the time!
E. Trista gets to decide! It's a surprise for everyone!
*cue Jeopardy theme music*

[venusorbit1]

See?? SEE? That damn dragon/dog is scary for a little V!

They totally paint his nails and brush his hair and whine that they will never find a nice guy while his hopes crash and burn.

I think this Endymion question needs a poll. Stay tuned for poll. I'm going to go with A, because I think that would be mutually disappointing and takes into account self-love.

[satine86]

*adds to memories*

I just love this. Oh god I love it. I don't remember the last time I laughed at a story (be it fanfic or published) SO FUCKING HARD!! It's just magnificent in it's absurdity and blending of fairy tales and the characterizations and EVERYFUCKINGTHING!

I will have your ficchat babbys. Or you can have my fic babbys..... Finn? HE'S YOURS!!

AND WHAT COURTNEY SAID, FALCOR FTMFW!

[venusorbit1]

Yay I have a pocket-Finn!!

Ha, I can't believe it made you LOL. I did that today with Lytton's picspam and people thought I was nuts.

[satine86]

V.. you always make me LOL, for realz. I still owe you Finn fic, don't I?

Also I need to throw down some angst.... hmmm I wonder what would happen if I combined the two?

Tra la la!

[venusorbit1]

Wait, WHAT.

WHAT.

[jenbunny]

oh my goodness!! This has made my entire night soooo much brighter then it was a little bit ago. I loved it, made me laugh so very hard! Great work!!

[venusorbit1]

Thank you!

[elianthos]

You know, the more I re-read it the more I'm amused - among many other things - at how Amaryllis is the one dealing with the...uh, fluids. So fitting XD.
Also, among all the awesome turbo-fucking I was feeling for Endy's penis all the way. The poor chap XDD.
And definitely Chibiusa needs a unicorn in her future *hint hint nudge nudge*

[venusorbit1]

Huh, I didn't even realize that until now! Good catch! I mean, I meant to do it all along, yeah.

Endymion's dick is the true victim in all of this.

...but you can't throw a unicorn down a well! XD At least not in one piece.

[i_is_here11]

<3 Love this and I love how you got to include so many fairy tales into this!

[venusorbit1]

Thanks! I should have had a list and tried to keep track but I'm not nearly that organized.