Undesirable Chapter 18
TITLE: Undesirable (A vampire novel)
RATING: NC-17 (This chapter PG-13)
SUMMARY: Wally and Geo continue their awkward journey to try to figure out what the hell that bathroom encounter means to them.
Word Count: 5223
Chapter 18
The next forty minutes was the most uncomfortable time I've ever spent with Wally. It seemed like the two of us were in some contest to see who could ignore the agonizing tension longest before finally admitting we needed to deal with it - break the guy code and actually discuss our feelings. I lost.
"Okay," I said as we blew our way past Pacific Junction. We were in the land of corn - seas of it, all about six inches high looking like some kind of green stubble on the face of the earth. I couldn't have picked a more placid backdrop for an awkward confrontation. "Okay, just tell me… did I rape you back there? Because if I did, I'm really sorry."
Wally jerked the wheel so hard the Lincoln swerved momentarily into the non-existent oncoming traffic. "What?" His face turned red. "No! No, God. Why would you say that?"
Oh, thank God, thank God. I felt such an immense wave of relief, I felt momentarily high.
Wally managed to get the car back on the right part of the road. Then he talked. "I have a confession to make," he said, his voice low and full of dread.
I winced, waiting for it. If it had Wally this worried it really couldn't be good. "What?"
Wally's face darkened to a remarkable shade of crimson. I didn't think it could get that color. I felt faintly alarmed.
"I kind of… have a crush on you. A bad one."
Exhale. Oh, that's noth -- wait, what?
"Really?" I hadn't suspected at all. Thinking back on our times together, I honestly didn't see anything at all romantic about his behavior towards me. I mean, sure he liked hanging with me and we had a hell of a time together, but it was all buddy stuff. Where the heck had this come from? How long?
"So, does this make things awkward?" Wally asked. The corners of his lips twitched downward.
Well, of course, it did! But not in the way Wally was thinking. No, I wasn't horrified that he had a crush on me at all. In fact it was really flattering. But why did he have to confess now? Why couldn't he have mentioned this, say, back in February when I was feeling particularly low about my love life. It felt like Wally had kicked my head sideways and I was already off balance because of all this other crap.
But this wasn't what Wally needed to hear. What he needed was: "Not at all, man. I'm just really surprised. You never gave me the slightest hint."
"You are straight," said Wally pragmatically. "Every guy knows hitting on the straight dudes is asking for trouble. It's number two on the list of don'ts, right after 'don't get involved with married men'."
"Oh, no, I'm so not straight," I said, mildly miffed that my bisexual cred was being questioned. After Jeffrey and Marc and Gregory? Come on. "I totally go both ways. In fact, I've had as much sex with men at this point than I've had with women." I had to count it up on my fingers but it came out exactly even. It was a bit startling to realize I'd gone from having two sexual partners in my life to fourteen in the course of a single week. I actually had a tough time remembering them all.
"Vampires don't count," said Wally firmly. "They can make you whatever they want - but it doesn't last, Geo, because it's not a natural attraction." He hung his head.
"I'm still bi," I insisted, somewhat peevishly. "Just because I didn't act on it before the vampires came around doesn't mean I'm not. Besides everyone is somewhat bi."
"No, they aren't," said Wally. "I'm not."
"You aren't?" Now, I was just confused. He'd dated a couple of girls and he had a crush on me. That was more or less the definition of bi right there.
"No, I'm gay, completely, utterly one-hundred percent. Six on the Kinsey scale."
"Alicia Silverton?" I mentioned, skeptically. "Very girl shaped."
Wally shrugged. "Hey, I tried. The world really wants us all to be bisexual, so I gave it a go. It was really awkward and weird for me. And I didn't sleep with her, I just took her to dinner and a movie then drove her home." He pressed his lips for a minute. "She asked me out again, but I begged off. Wasn't fair to her."
"Wow." I was pretty amazed. You know, I'd always prided myself on being somewhat perceptive. It was a bit of a kick in the pants to realize that maybe I wasn't as clued in as I thought. "Wow."
"As long as I'm confessing, you know that Wednesday game I go to?" Wally suddenly looked sheepish.
"Yeah." Vaguely. Wednesday was, for some reason, a favorite day for running seminars, so I was gone more often than I was home. But yeah, I did notice he tended to go off to a game at one of his buddies houses on that day.
"There is no Wednesday game."
"No?"
"I've been going to the Cliffside in Oregon City."
Cliffside. Cliffside. No bells. "Is that a bar?"
Wally twisted his face. "It's a gay oriented club. A really famous one. Dude - it got profiled on the national news last year. You were watching with me? We talked about it?"
Nope. No recollection whatsoever. But if we talked… oh.
"So you thought this would bother me because I think sex clubs are creepy, sleazy breeding grounds for sexually transmitted diseases?" Hmm, yeah, so maybe I'd ranted about that a few too many times.
Wait -- come to think of it, I still believed that. I leveled a disgusted look at him. "Why would you do that? Yuck. Dude, why don't you just date guys?"
Wally banged his forehead against his fist. "I didn't want you knowing I was gay. Because our friendship was too important to me to risk you feeling awkward about me." He deflated. "Also because I figured if my libido were kept in check, I wouldn't slip and start hitting on you. I did it for you."
What the hell was I to say to that? "Well, it was a nice thought, but really, not necessary. I'm not creeped out by you being gay. It's okay with me." I was being totally sincere with him. I wasn't bothered by my female friends and acquaintances being hetero, and some of them were pretty unattractive in body and personality. Why should I be bothered by my really good looking close friend being gay? "And man, you talked earlier about wars being a thing of the past, but bigotry is really uncool these days."
"But it still happens." Wally looked at me. "I mean, lord knows the vampires have been trying to get us all to give up our sexual hang ups for years, but there is still a lot of anti-gay sentiment out there. It's just that people aren't as open about it as they used to be."
I pshawed. "It's not that bad." Then what he was saying sank in. "Really, you thought I might be a closet bigot? What the hell did I do to make you think that?"
"Not you. I had a friend in high-school, Geo," said Wally, with a certain amount of resignation. "I was really, really close with him, just like I am with you. Until I confessed to him I was gay, and then suddenly he stopped hanging out with me. And even after all these years, it still fucking hurts that he dropped me like that. So, forgive me for feeling a bit pessimistic about telling you."
I reached over and grabbed his shoulder. "I'm not him. I'm telling you right now, I don't mind. And fuck it, how many times do I have to say I'm not straight before you'll believe me. Truth time, I've had a few fantasies about you as well, so it's not one sided."
Now that got a reaction out of him. Suddenly his face lit up with excitement like I'd just handed him a million bucks. "Really?" He grinned. "You aren't shitting me dude? Really?"
"You are a good looking dude. I'm human." It was true, I had let a few fantasies about Wally pass my mind, but I'm guessing no where near as many as Wally had been harboring for me from the sheer glow he'd had taken on.
"So why the hell didn't you let me know this before?" asked Wally. I could read his thoughts: So much wasted time.
"Because I thought you were straight!"
We laughed for a little.
"I just wish we could have had this revelation some time other than when we are on the run from a pack of vampires," I said. "Somehow I don't think candle lit dinners and long moonlit walks are in our immediate future."
Like a switch had been flicked, Wally lost that happy glow. He groaned mildly and put his hand to his face, and I figured it was because I'd reminded him of our predicament. That was laid to rest with the next words he spoke, which were full of deep regret.
"I shouldn't have done what I did to you back in the bathroom. That was really uncool of me."
Huh? My penis wholly disagreed with that. In fact it twitched a little in my pants at the memory of being in his mouth and the distinct possibility that that might end up back there again. Stupid an organ as it is, I found, for once, I agreed with it. What the hell was Wally going on about? That blowjob was awesome; he wanted it, and I sure the hell needed it. Win, win.
"What's the deal?" I asked. "We didn't get caught by the police."
"You aren't - you weren't in your right mind," said Wally.
Oh, for heavens sake -- "You didn't rape me."
"You are in shock and I took advantage of it."
"You did not rape me," I repeated, dryly.
"You are right, I should have told you back in February, but tell me, if I had, would you have seriously considered a relationship with me?"
That I had to think about. Maybe I would have. Maybe I wouldn't. I might have chickened out. I fully admit to suffering from virgin jitters and to having the same reservations that Wally had that a sexual relationship might kill the friendship we had going. But done is done, and I'm fully prepared to fight for our friendship regardless of what happens between us. And as for the virgin thing, I like sex. Sex fucking rocks. My only reservation has been my lack of choice in partners, not the acts themselves.
My pause was telling, but it wasn't telling the right story. Wally returned his eyes to the road and he looked unhappy.
"Give me a minute," I said in frustration. "Wally, I'm not the same guy I was in February. That doesn't mean I'm not turned on by you. Things have changed and I need some time to mentally adjust."
"I agree," said Wally. "And that's why what I did back there was so slimy. I should have waited - had more self-control. I just don't want you to think back on this and be mad at me. I don't want to have blown everything because I had a moment of weakness."
It was too much. I couldn't take on Wally's guilt and my own emotional exhaustion at the same time. "Can we table this conversation?"
"Yeah, I'll leave you alone-"
"I mean it," I snapped. "You are trying to get decisions out of me when I can't make them." He winced and with effort I softened towards him. "I'm not rejecting you. Listen. I'm not. Don't you dare make that decision for me right now."
Wally nodded. He looked horribly glum.
"No." I chastised him, with a calm, firm voice. "Now you are imagining I'm going to reject you in the future. Cut it out."
Wally turned and raised an eyebrow.
"Now, this is the way it's going to be," I said. "You are going to stop imagining that I suffered some horrible trauma at your hands, because I didn't, I had a really, really fantastic time, and I don't want you spoiling the memory of it. Besides, I have had enough trauma this week without you trying to convince me that perfectly consensual sex was abuse. So buck up. I've got this. We are both going to be fine."
Wally nodded. He was back in sidekick mode, and that was something that felt familiar and comfortable to both of us, even if at that particular moment I really didn't feel up to the leadership role.
"What we really need to do right now is to start seriously planning our next move," I said.
Abruptly, as it happens, Omaha's outer wall became visible as a smooth, featureless line of grey to our left, rising and falling up the hillside like a pen squiggle. Beyond I could see the red and black of rooftops mixed with the darker green of trees and well-watered lawns. Civilization was at hand.
"I think our next move is finding some place to sleep," Wally replied. "I don't know about you, but I'm beat."
We settled for a Motel 6 picked out more or less at random, because it was there. We could have gone for the Days Inn, which was just across the street, but somewhere in my dim sleep deprived mind I remembered that Motel 6 prided itself on being cheap, and cheap was what we needed. The lot behind the hotel was empty except for one big rig that was parallel parked to the side, and a couple of forlorn looking vehicles tucked up under the eaves. Wally pulled in next to the semi, and we both climbed out of the car, a bit achy from the long ride.
Without thinking, I followed Wally into the lobby of the hotel. It was a small, drab, utilitarian area, with the requisite rack of tourist pamphlets and a ratty looking copy of the yellow pages next to a pay phone. A Hispanic woman the high side of sixty perked up when we entered and waited patiently at the desk for us to check in.
I picked up one of the brochures and listened in with only half an ear. "Two beds," Wally was saying, which was a bit of a relief. I hadn't said no to him, but I hadn't said yes, either, and even though I owed him something as payback for the blowjob, I really hoped that Wally wouldn't want to collect on it tonight. I was much more interested in getting some food in my grumbling belly and then a good night, er, afternoon's sleep.
"Uh… Matthew Churchfield," said Wally suddenly.
I put down the pamphlet and perked up. Matt is one of Wally's gamer buddies, the one ironically called "the munchkin" even though he was better than six feet tall and very overweight. I wondered for far too long why Wally might be telling this complete stranger about his game group. Then, bright star that I was, I realized that Matt Churchfield was my new pseudonym.
Good thinking. Though, I realized with a sickening twist, me standing here in the lobby probably wasn't. I should have waited in the car while Wally checked in, that way there wouldn't have been a need for a pseudonym. As it was, all this woman had to do was request ID from me and we'd be in trouble. What's more, there was a camera in the corner of the ceiling, aimed so that it recorded everyone who walked in the door. That tape would confirm that I was there should anyone request it. I had to hope that by the time the vampires had sleuthed my whereabouts out, Wally and I would be back on the road.
Paranoia fought with crushing depression.
Christ. One night. That's all I asked for. One night in a real bed then me and Wally could switch off the driving and power our way through, night and day, to Portland. But I needed this one night. I was falling down stupid with exhaustion, and Wally wasn't much better. And besides, the damage was already done.
Wally walked away from the desk with a printout clutched in his hand. "They need an hour to clean the room. Let's get something to eat."
The Days Inn had a restaurant attached to it and Wally was in the mood for celebrating. None of my misgivings were making a mark in him. Never mind that we were on the run. Never mind that his own patron was dead. He was half this duo, and still giddy from my confession of attraction, he wanted to take me out. The goofball.
"Can we really afford this?" I said looking at the menu, which to my extreme dismay had the entrées priced well in the double digits.
"My treat," said Wally.
The whole day had been Wally's treat. I was starting to feel guilty about it. After all, I had nearly five hundred dollars sitting in my wallet right now, I could chip in my share.
"You are going to treat me all the way to being broke. Twenty bucks for a steak? Are they kidding?"
"It's just one dinner. We can have Arby's tomorrow. But look, see, candle light."
There was a fat red globe of glass with a single tea light shedding its feeble luminescence in competition with the blazing early afternoon sun through the far window. The thick white linen tablecloth was nice and a young woman in a floor length apron served us. Wally looked quite dashing in his slightly rumpled suit. It was, I admitted, about as romantic as lunch on the run could be.
"We'll have to wait for the moonlit walk," Wally went on, folding his napkin on his lap and grabbing a roll. "But maybe you'll settle for a moonlit car ride. I was thinking we could crash now and head off in the early am hours. I don't like the idea of being asleep while the vampires prowling."
The waitress chose that moment to come to our table and take our drink orders. My whole body perked up. I'm no alcoholic, but I've been absolutely craving a beer for a week now. Vampires and their silly temperance had denied me that simple pleasure and now I wanted it. Oh howdy, I wanted it. A couple of glasses to soothe away all the ugly worries, a full belly, and I'd crawl into bed and everything would be right with the world for a few hours.
She brought me Guinness Stout because it was the only beer on tap that I recognized other than Budwieser, the weakest of beers, and my god it was good. For a bit, I wallowed in it's thick sweet, malty flavor. This was more than just a drink, this was medicine. It was balm for the rawness of my body and soul. I felt filled, replenished, completed. I swallowed and savored my way down to the last of lick of foam off the rim and then leaned back and let the cool rush relax me.
"You got your O face going," murmured Wally, bringing me abruptly back to the table. He was grinning hugely at me.
"No, I don't!"
"You do, you do. It's cute," he said with a delighted chuckle. "Go ahead. Have another. I like your O face." His eyes drifted. "Our waitress likes your O face, too."
"She does - " I began to protest, then I looked. The waitress quickly got busy doing something else. "You are embarrassing me." I hit his forearm, playfully.
"I'm just pointing out something I've been wanting to say for a long time," said Wally nonchalant.
"That I get an O face when I drink?" What a horrible thought.
"No, that you are hot, even when you do stupid normal things." He was leaning back in his chair looking relaxed and happy. Obviously, he really enjoyed the freedom of being able to come on to me. And I still couldn't wrap my head fully around it. Wally - Wally likes me. I just couldn't keep the little prideful grin off my face.
Our waitress was back at our table, smiling in that tight way girls have when they are suppressing giggles. "Would you like another?"
"Yes, please," I said, then leveled a stare at Wally daring him to say anything more about it in front of her.
"You know what's cute?" I said as soon as she left. "You getting all romantic. I'd never have guessed you liked that sort of thing. It's totally adorable."
Wally crossed his arms over his chest. "And I can't believe you thought I couldn't get a girlfriend. Me?"
"Not so!" I protested. "I thought you were asexual."
Wally laughed. "Oh my god. We get back to our room, I'll show you how sexual-"
"Sleeeeeep!" I reminded him then stifling a yawn. "It's good for the soul. If dinner doesn't come soon I'm probably going to pass out at the table."
Wally sheepishly nodded. "You're right."
And then our dinner came and the bulk of our time was spent shoving bloody hunks of meat into our mouths. As steaks went, it was okay. Nice and tender but not quite as flavorful as some I've had. I still worried about the expense, but Wally seemed to be enjoying his food so much I decided it would be prudent to keep my mouth shut.
After all, Wally deserved to get something nice out of this fiasco. I was just so utterly lucky that I had a friend who would go so far out of his way to help me. I could still remember Nadette's dire warning: You should think before you attempt to do something reckless. Next time the one to suffer may be someone you care more about. Wally was looking at years of jail for abetting my escape. That's if the vampires decided to go the human legal route. They didn't need to. They could choose instead to get their revenge in a more personal way.
I didn't want to think about it, so I deliberately steered the conversation to what I'd missed at home in the week I'd been gone.
"Everyone's worried about you," said Wally. "I talked to your parents before I left with Darlene, and they said they'd help in any way they could. Your dad wanted to donate two thousand dollars to pay the finders fee. I didn't have the heart to tell him that your fee would be more than that. I told him instead that Darlene would see his offer as an insult, which is true. Fastest way to piss a vampire off is to imply they can't afford to take care of their human dependants."
"Ah, is that why Nadette spent so much on my clothes even though I barely got to leave my room?"
"Oh, yeah. Vampires are big into image."
"Shallow," I muttered. "How'd my boss take it?"
"Worried. And sad." I gave a skeptical snort. Wally shrugged and went on: "He said he had to fire you - it was company policy for lying on your application, and besides you wouldn't be allowed to work anyway. But he also said that you were really good at your job and he'd have a hard time replacing you."
"Finding another undesirable, he meant," I said bitterly.
Wally shook his head and took another bite of his steak. "If all he wanted was body that could travel, there's a ton of people over forty that fit that bill. But yeah, I hear you. It's hard finding a job when you are part of a harem. Everyone thinks you don't need one, the vampires will just take care of you, but there's no way I could live on the stipend Darlene gives me. Part of why I went the self-employment route."
I was going to have to find a self-employment route myself. I couldn't imagine anyone giving me a job with that White designation next to my name. They wouldn't understand why I would need one. Maybe the resistance would be able to pay me. But that seemed stupid. More likely the other way around, they'd need money and expect me to be able to donate.
This line of thinking wasn't comfortable, either.
"I'm thinking driving the rest of the way in shifts," I said suddenly, settling on more practical immediate concerns as a way of distracting us both away from the bleak larger picture. "One of us can sleep in the back while the other drives. The less stopping we do the better. Besides it would be frugal. We've got a long way to go, we need to conserve our resources."
"So you think us getting a hotel room was a bad idea?" Wally frowned. "That back seat is fine for a little person like you, but I'm six-one." He rolled his neck expressively.
"Twenty bucks here, fifty there, it builds up." I didn't even want to consider how I was going to pay for things once I got back to Portland.
"I have the money, Geo," Wally insisted. "The last six months I've been doing really good. I have a regular gig with Oregon Live and that breakfast cereal game thing was huge." Wally's bread and butter was creating product-oriented minigames to turn lure the little kids onto various corporate websites. Those kids in turn became the most obnoxiously effective form of advertising a company could want: the kind that whined until you gave in and bought something. Morally, it was questionable and money wise, it was inconsistent at best. Feast or famine with famine usually in the lead. It would be extremely tough for Wally to support my dead weight for any length of time.
As if reading my mind Wally grabbed my wrist. "You've carried me enough lean times, it's my turn to do the same. It's okay. I've got this."
Our server came back with the bill tucked away in a black faux leather folder. Wally immediately stuck his card in the plastic slot at the top and left it propped up.
"When I get a job, I'll pay you back," I vowed.
Wally grew pensive. "We'll deal with that when we come to it."
We returned to the Motel 6 exactly an hour after we'd checked in. This time the elderly Hispanic woman had a couple of white key cards to give us. I tucked mine into the front pocket of my jeans, where, to my surprise I still had the key to Nadette's dormitory as well as the that to the set of handcuffs Wally had bought earlier in the day. I wondered vaguely if I should ditch one or both of them.
We were turning to leave when the Hotel clerk said, "Matthew Churchfield?" to me.
I froze. She's going to ask for ID, was my panicked thought. I turned and squared myself to the desk. "Yes?"
"I have a fax for you?" She said it as if she wasn't sure she did. I hesitated, my mind whirling with confusion, trying to figure out what the word "fax" meant in this context. While I stood stupidly, she handed me an envelope with my pseudonym and the number of our room on the front where the address usually goes.
"Thanks, " I managed and then Wally gripped my upper arm and the two of us high tailed it out of the lobby. I took a half dozen steps out on the tarmac, then put my back to the warm sunbaked side of the building. Maybe it's my parents, I rationalized. Maybe Wally had somehow texted them where we'd be.
But Wally clearly hadn't. "How can this be?" asked Wally, his face pasty with fear. He grabbed my shoulders with both hands and shook me a little. "How can we be getting a message? I haven't told anyone. I swear. No one." He let me go and wiped his mouth with his hand and stared fretfully across the parking lot at the sedate Saturday afternoon traffic.
I leaned back against the wall of the Motel 6 and opened the envelope, dreading what I'd see inside. A single sheet of fax paper slipped out with the usual time code slip stapled to the top.
My dearest "Matthew,"
No. No. No. No. No.
You can do better than this. I know you can and I can't think what must be going on in your head to lead to such elementary mistakes. Remember, there are fourteen of us who know about Walter. All his debit card purchases make for a pretty clear trail, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out where you are going.
Cash only, my love. Do try to make this a bit difficult for my rivals.
In case you were awash in suspense, I did not win the fight against Nadette. Pity, I had in mind an Aleutian Island that would have been perfect for her temperament. Population of seventy-five, so the pickings are a bit on the lean side. She might actually have had to resort to dining on males. But it was not to be.
She did not prevail against me either; therefore my harem and bank account are still intact, much to my considerable relief.
Our duel came to an abrupt halt when I let slip that you had escaped from your room. At that point, Nadette lost all interest in fighting me and dashed off to find you, taking with her much of our audience. I'm ashamed to admit, coward that I am, I chose to make my exit while their backs were turned. You provided me an excellent diversion and I arrived at my safe haven without incident.
As I know you were worried, I assure you my injuries are relatively minor. Thanks to Nadette's staff, though not with her knowledge or approval, I'm receiving excellent care. By the way, Stan wishes to express his sincere apologies for interfering with your travel. He would type them in person, but I'm afraid appeasing me has tuckered him out. Once I'm fully placated, which I anticipate will take another day or two, I will come for you.
If you should choose to make things easier for me by diverting your course to Chicago, I will, of course, be appreciative. Should you decide to make a game of this, that is also acceptable, as I'm not in any particular hurry to return to my day to day drudgery and I do love a good chase. In either case, I anticipate enjoying our reunion in whatever location you choose.
Your loving and faithful Patron,
Jeffrey
I handed the letter to Wally who read it silently. Then, without a word, he walked back into Motel 6 lobby. I stood, shaking and numb, too stunned to do anything at all until Wally returned. He grabbed my sleeve and pulled me along to the car, tossing me into the back seat.
"We are going to drive in shifts," he said.
Back to Chapter 17
Forward to Chapter 19
RATING: NC-17 (This chapter PG-13)
SUMMARY: Wally and Geo continue their awkward journey to try to figure out what the hell that bathroom encounter means to them.
Word Count: 5223
Chapter 18
The next forty minutes was the most uncomfortable time I've ever spent with Wally. It seemed like the two of us were in some contest to see who could ignore the agonizing tension longest before finally admitting we needed to deal with it - break the guy code and actually discuss our feelings. I lost.
"Okay," I said as we blew our way past Pacific Junction. We were in the land of corn - seas of it, all about six inches high looking like some kind of green stubble on the face of the earth. I couldn't have picked a more placid backdrop for an awkward confrontation. "Okay, just tell me… did I rape you back there? Because if I did, I'm really sorry."
Wally jerked the wheel so hard the Lincoln swerved momentarily into the non-existent oncoming traffic. "What?" His face turned red. "No! No, God. Why would you say that?"
Oh, thank God, thank God. I felt such an immense wave of relief, I felt momentarily high.
Wally managed to get the car back on the right part of the road. Then he talked. "I have a confession to make," he said, his voice low and full of dread.
I winced, waiting for it. If it had Wally this worried it really couldn't be good. "What?"
Wally's face darkened to a remarkable shade of crimson. I didn't think it could get that color. I felt faintly alarmed.
"I kind of… have a crush on you. A bad one."
Exhale. Oh, that's noth -- wait, what?
"Really?" I hadn't suspected at all. Thinking back on our times together, I honestly didn't see anything at all romantic about his behavior towards me. I mean, sure he liked hanging with me and we had a hell of a time together, but it was all buddy stuff. Where the heck had this come from? How long?
"So, does this make things awkward?" Wally asked. The corners of his lips twitched downward.
Well, of course, it did! But not in the way Wally was thinking. No, I wasn't horrified that he had a crush on me at all. In fact it was really flattering. But why did he have to confess now? Why couldn't he have mentioned this, say, back in February when I was feeling particularly low about my love life. It felt like Wally had kicked my head sideways and I was already off balance because of all this other crap.
But this wasn't what Wally needed to hear. What he needed was: "Not at all, man. I'm just really surprised. You never gave me the slightest hint."
"You are straight," said Wally pragmatically. "Every guy knows hitting on the straight dudes is asking for trouble. It's number two on the list of don'ts, right after 'don't get involved with married men'."
"Oh, no, I'm so not straight," I said, mildly miffed that my bisexual cred was being questioned. After Jeffrey and Marc and Gregory? Come on. "I totally go both ways. In fact, I've had as much sex with men at this point than I've had with women." I had to count it up on my fingers but it came out exactly even. It was a bit startling to realize I'd gone from having two sexual partners in my life to fourteen in the course of a single week. I actually had a tough time remembering them all.
"Vampires don't count," said Wally firmly. "They can make you whatever they want - but it doesn't last, Geo, because it's not a natural attraction." He hung his head.
"I'm still bi," I insisted, somewhat peevishly. "Just because I didn't act on it before the vampires came around doesn't mean I'm not. Besides everyone is somewhat bi."
"No, they aren't," said Wally. "I'm not."
"You aren't?" Now, I was just confused. He'd dated a couple of girls and he had a crush on me. That was more or less the definition of bi right there.
"No, I'm gay, completely, utterly one-hundred percent. Six on the Kinsey scale."
"Alicia Silverton?" I mentioned, skeptically. "Very girl shaped."
Wally shrugged. "Hey, I tried. The world really wants us all to be bisexual, so I gave it a go. It was really awkward and weird for me. And I didn't sleep with her, I just took her to dinner and a movie then drove her home." He pressed his lips for a minute. "She asked me out again, but I begged off. Wasn't fair to her."
"Wow." I was pretty amazed. You know, I'd always prided myself on being somewhat perceptive. It was a bit of a kick in the pants to realize that maybe I wasn't as clued in as I thought. "Wow."
"As long as I'm confessing, you know that Wednesday game I go to?" Wally suddenly looked sheepish.
"Yeah." Vaguely. Wednesday was, for some reason, a favorite day for running seminars, so I was gone more often than I was home. But yeah, I did notice he tended to go off to a game at one of his buddies houses on that day.
"There is no Wednesday game."
"No?"
"I've been going to the Cliffside in Oregon City."
Cliffside. Cliffside. No bells. "Is that a bar?"
Wally twisted his face. "It's a gay oriented club. A really famous one. Dude - it got profiled on the national news last year. You were watching with me? We talked about it?"
Nope. No recollection whatsoever. But if we talked… oh.
"So you thought this would bother me because I think sex clubs are creepy, sleazy breeding grounds for sexually transmitted diseases?" Hmm, yeah, so maybe I'd ranted about that a few too many times.
Wait -- come to think of it, I still believed that. I leveled a disgusted look at him. "Why would you do that? Yuck. Dude, why don't you just date guys?"
Wally banged his forehead against his fist. "I didn't want you knowing I was gay. Because our friendship was too important to me to risk you feeling awkward about me." He deflated. "Also because I figured if my libido were kept in check, I wouldn't slip and start hitting on you. I did it for you."
What the hell was I to say to that? "Well, it was a nice thought, but really, not necessary. I'm not creeped out by you being gay. It's okay with me." I was being totally sincere with him. I wasn't bothered by my female friends and acquaintances being hetero, and some of them were pretty unattractive in body and personality. Why should I be bothered by my really good looking close friend being gay? "And man, you talked earlier about wars being a thing of the past, but bigotry is really uncool these days."
"But it still happens." Wally looked at me. "I mean, lord knows the vampires have been trying to get us all to give up our sexual hang ups for years, but there is still a lot of anti-gay sentiment out there. It's just that people aren't as open about it as they used to be."
I pshawed. "It's not that bad." Then what he was saying sank in. "Really, you thought I might be a closet bigot? What the hell did I do to make you think that?"
"Not you. I had a friend in high-school, Geo," said Wally, with a certain amount of resignation. "I was really, really close with him, just like I am with you. Until I confessed to him I was gay, and then suddenly he stopped hanging out with me. And even after all these years, it still fucking hurts that he dropped me like that. So, forgive me for feeling a bit pessimistic about telling you."
I reached over and grabbed his shoulder. "I'm not him. I'm telling you right now, I don't mind. And fuck it, how many times do I have to say I'm not straight before you'll believe me. Truth time, I've had a few fantasies about you as well, so it's not one sided."
Now that got a reaction out of him. Suddenly his face lit up with excitement like I'd just handed him a million bucks. "Really?" He grinned. "You aren't shitting me dude? Really?"
"You are a good looking dude. I'm human." It was true, I had let a few fantasies about Wally pass my mind, but I'm guessing no where near as many as Wally had been harboring for me from the sheer glow he'd had taken on.
"So why the hell didn't you let me know this before?" asked Wally. I could read his thoughts: So much wasted time.
"Because I thought you were straight!"
We laughed for a little.
"I just wish we could have had this revelation some time other than when we are on the run from a pack of vampires," I said. "Somehow I don't think candle lit dinners and long moonlit walks are in our immediate future."
Like a switch had been flicked, Wally lost that happy glow. He groaned mildly and put his hand to his face, and I figured it was because I'd reminded him of our predicament. That was laid to rest with the next words he spoke, which were full of deep regret.
"I shouldn't have done what I did to you back in the bathroom. That was really uncool of me."
Huh? My penis wholly disagreed with that. In fact it twitched a little in my pants at the memory of being in his mouth and the distinct possibility that that might end up back there again. Stupid an organ as it is, I found, for once, I agreed with it. What the hell was Wally going on about? That blowjob was awesome; he wanted it, and I sure the hell needed it. Win, win.
"What's the deal?" I asked. "We didn't get caught by the police."
"You aren't - you weren't in your right mind," said Wally.
Oh, for heavens sake -- "You didn't rape me."
"You are in shock and I took advantage of it."
"You did not rape me," I repeated, dryly.
"You are right, I should have told you back in February, but tell me, if I had, would you have seriously considered a relationship with me?"
That I had to think about. Maybe I would have. Maybe I wouldn't. I might have chickened out. I fully admit to suffering from virgin jitters and to having the same reservations that Wally had that a sexual relationship might kill the friendship we had going. But done is done, and I'm fully prepared to fight for our friendship regardless of what happens between us. And as for the virgin thing, I like sex. Sex fucking rocks. My only reservation has been my lack of choice in partners, not the acts themselves.
My pause was telling, but it wasn't telling the right story. Wally returned his eyes to the road and he looked unhappy.
"Give me a minute," I said in frustration. "Wally, I'm not the same guy I was in February. That doesn't mean I'm not turned on by you. Things have changed and I need some time to mentally adjust."
"I agree," said Wally. "And that's why what I did back there was so slimy. I should have waited - had more self-control. I just don't want you to think back on this and be mad at me. I don't want to have blown everything because I had a moment of weakness."
It was too much. I couldn't take on Wally's guilt and my own emotional exhaustion at the same time. "Can we table this conversation?"
"Yeah, I'll leave you alone-"
"I mean it," I snapped. "You are trying to get decisions out of me when I can't make them." He winced and with effort I softened towards him. "I'm not rejecting you. Listen. I'm not. Don't you dare make that decision for me right now."
Wally nodded. He looked horribly glum.
"No." I chastised him, with a calm, firm voice. "Now you are imagining I'm going to reject you in the future. Cut it out."
Wally turned and raised an eyebrow.
"Now, this is the way it's going to be," I said. "You are going to stop imagining that I suffered some horrible trauma at your hands, because I didn't, I had a really, really fantastic time, and I don't want you spoiling the memory of it. Besides, I have had enough trauma this week without you trying to convince me that perfectly consensual sex was abuse. So buck up. I've got this. We are both going to be fine."
Wally nodded. He was back in sidekick mode, and that was something that felt familiar and comfortable to both of us, even if at that particular moment I really didn't feel up to the leadership role.
"What we really need to do right now is to start seriously planning our next move," I said.
Abruptly, as it happens, Omaha's outer wall became visible as a smooth, featureless line of grey to our left, rising and falling up the hillside like a pen squiggle. Beyond I could see the red and black of rooftops mixed with the darker green of trees and well-watered lawns. Civilization was at hand.
"I think our next move is finding some place to sleep," Wally replied. "I don't know about you, but I'm beat."
We settled for a Motel 6 picked out more or less at random, because it was there. We could have gone for the Days Inn, which was just across the street, but somewhere in my dim sleep deprived mind I remembered that Motel 6 prided itself on being cheap, and cheap was what we needed. The lot behind the hotel was empty except for one big rig that was parallel parked to the side, and a couple of forlorn looking vehicles tucked up under the eaves. Wally pulled in next to the semi, and we both climbed out of the car, a bit achy from the long ride.
Without thinking, I followed Wally into the lobby of the hotel. It was a small, drab, utilitarian area, with the requisite rack of tourist pamphlets and a ratty looking copy of the yellow pages next to a pay phone. A Hispanic woman the high side of sixty perked up when we entered and waited patiently at the desk for us to check in.
I picked up one of the brochures and listened in with only half an ear. "Two beds," Wally was saying, which was a bit of a relief. I hadn't said no to him, but I hadn't said yes, either, and even though I owed him something as payback for the blowjob, I really hoped that Wally wouldn't want to collect on it tonight. I was much more interested in getting some food in my grumbling belly and then a good night, er, afternoon's sleep.
"Uh… Matthew Churchfield," said Wally suddenly.
I put down the pamphlet and perked up. Matt is one of Wally's gamer buddies, the one ironically called "the munchkin" even though he was better than six feet tall and very overweight. I wondered for far too long why Wally might be telling this complete stranger about his game group. Then, bright star that I was, I realized that Matt Churchfield was my new pseudonym.
Good thinking. Though, I realized with a sickening twist, me standing here in the lobby probably wasn't. I should have waited in the car while Wally checked in, that way there wouldn't have been a need for a pseudonym. As it was, all this woman had to do was request ID from me and we'd be in trouble. What's more, there was a camera in the corner of the ceiling, aimed so that it recorded everyone who walked in the door. That tape would confirm that I was there should anyone request it. I had to hope that by the time the vampires had sleuthed my whereabouts out, Wally and I would be back on the road.
Paranoia fought with crushing depression.
Christ. One night. That's all I asked for. One night in a real bed then me and Wally could switch off the driving and power our way through, night and day, to Portland. But I needed this one night. I was falling down stupid with exhaustion, and Wally wasn't much better. And besides, the damage was already done.
Wally walked away from the desk with a printout clutched in his hand. "They need an hour to clean the room. Let's get something to eat."
The Days Inn had a restaurant attached to it and Wally was in the mood for celebrating. None of my misgivings were making a mark in him. Never mind that we were on the run. Never mind that his own patron was dead. He was half this duo, and still giddy from my confession of attraction, he wanted to take me out. The goofball.
"Can we really afford this?" I said looking at the menu, which to my extreme dismay had the entrées priced well in the double digits.
"My treat," said Wally.
The whole day had been Wally's treat. I was starting to feel guilty about it. After all, I had nearly five hundred dollars sitting in my wallet right now, I could chip in my share.
"You are going to treat me all the way to being broke. Twenty bucks for a steak? Are they kidding?"
"It's just one dinner. We can have Arby's tomorrow. But look, see, candle light."
There was a fat red globe of glass with a single tea light shedding its feeble luminescence in competition with the blazing early afternoon sun through the far window. The thick white linen tablecloth was nice and a young woman in a floor length apron served us. Wally looked quite dashing in his slightly rumpled suit. It was, I admitted, about as romantic as lunch on the run could be.
"We'll have to wait for the moonlit walk," Wally went on, folding his napkin on his lap and grabbing a roll. "But maybe you'll settle for a moonlit car ride. I was thinking we could crash now and head off in the early am hours. I don't like the idea of being asleep while the vampires prowling."
The waitress chose that moment to come to our table and take our drink orders. My whole body perked up. I'm no alcoholic, but I've been absolutely craving a beer for a week now. Vampires and their silly temperance had denied me that simple pleasure and now I wanted it. Oh howdy, I wanted it. A couple of glasses to soothe away all the ugly worries, a full belly, and I'd crawl into bed and everything would be right with the world for a few hours.
She brought me Guinness Stout because it was the only beer on tap that I recognized other than Budwieser, the weakest of beers, and my god it was good. For a bit, I wallowed in it's thick sweet, malty flavor. This was more than just a drink, this was medicine. It was balm for the rawness of my body and soul. I felt filled, replenished, completed. I swallowed and savored my way down to the last of lick of foam off the rim and then leaned back and let the cool rush relax me.
"You got your O face going," murmured Wally, bringing me abruptly back to the table. He was grinning hugely at me.
"No, I don't!"
"You do, you do. It's cute," he said with a delighted chuckle. "Go ahead. Have another. I like your O face." His eyes drifted. "Our waitress likes your O face, too."
"She does - " I began to protest, then I looked. The waitress quickly got busy doing something else. "You are embarrassing me." I hit his forearm, playfully.
"I'm just pointing out something I've been wanting to say for a long time," said Wally nonchalant.
"That I get an O face when I drink?" What a horrible thought.
"No, that you are hot, even when you do stupid normal things." He was leaning back in his chair looking relaxed and happy. Obviously, he really enjoyed the freedom of being able to come on to me. And I still couldn't wrap my head fully around it. Wally - Wally likes me. I just couldn't keep the little prideful grin off my face.
Our waitress was back at our table, smiling in that tight way girls have when they are suppressing giggles. "Would you like another?"
"Yes, please," I said, then leveled a stare at Wally daring him to say anything more about it in front of her.
"You know what's cute?" I said as soon as she left. "You getting all romantic. I'd never have guessed you liked that sort of thing. It's totally adorable."
Wally crossed his arms over his chest. "And I can't believe you thought I couldn't get a girlfriend. Me?"
"Not so!" I protested. "I thought you were asexual."
Wally laughed. "Oh my god. We get back to our room, I'll show you how sexual-"
"Sleeeeeep!" I reminded him then stifling a yawn. "It's good for the soul. If dinner doesn't come soon I'm probably going to pass out at the table."
Wally sheepishly nodded. "You're right."
And then our dinner came and the bulk of our time was spent shoving bloody hunks of meat into our mouths. As steaks went, it was okay. Nice and tender but not quite as flavorful as some I've had. I still worried about the expense, but Wally seemed to be enjoying his food so much I decided it would be prudent to keep my mouth shut.
After all, Wally deserved to get something nice out of this fiasco. I was just so utterly lucky that I had a friend who would go so far out of his way to help me. I could still remember Nadette's dire warning: You should think before you attempt to do something reckless. Next time the one to suffer may be someone you care more about. Wally was looking at years of jail for abetting my escape. That's if the vampires decided to go the human legal route. They didn't need to. They could choose instead to get their revenge in a more personal way.
I didn't want to think about it, so I deliberately steered the conversation to what I'd missed at home in the week I'd been gone.
"Everyone's worried about you," said Wally. "I talked to your parents before I left with Darlene, and they said they'd help in any way they could. Your dad wanted to donate two thousand dollars to pay the finders fee. I didn't have the heart to tell him that your fee would be more than that. I told him instead that Darlene would see his offer as an insult, which is true. Fastest way to piss a vampire off is to imply they can't afford to take care of their human dependants."
"Ah, is that why Nadette spent so much on my clothes even though I barely got to leave my room?"
"Oh, yeah. Vampires are big into image."
"Shallow," I muttered. "How'd my boss take it?"
"Worried. And sad." I gave a skeptical snort. Wally shrugged and went on: "He said he had to fire you - it was company policy for lying on your application, and besides you wouldn't be allowed to work anyway. But he also said that you were really good at your job and he'd have a hard time replacing you."
"Finding another undesirable, he meant," I said bitterly.
Wally shook his head and took another bite of his steak. "If all he wanted was body that could travel, there's a ton of people over forty that fit that bill. But yeah, I hear you. It's hard finding a job when you are part of a harem. Everyone thinks you don't need one, the vampires will just take care of you, but there's no way I could live on the stipend Darlene gives me. Part of why I went the self-employment route."
I was going to have to find a self-employment route myself. I couldn't imagine anyone giving me a job with that White designation next to my name. They wouldn't understand why I would need one. Maybe the resistance would be able to pay me. But that seemed stupid. More likely the other way around, they'd need money and expect me to be able to donate.
This line of thinking wasn't comfortable, either.
"I'm thinking driving the rest of the way in shifts," I said suddenly, settling on more practical immediate concerns as a way of distracting us both away from the bleak larger picture. "One of us can sleep in the back while the other drives. The less stopping we do the better. Besides it would be frugal. We've got a long way to go, we need to conserve our resources."
"So you think us getting a hotel room was a bad idea?" Wally frowned. "That back seat is fine for a little person like you, but I'm six-one." He rolled his neck expressively.
"Twenty bucks here, fifty there, it builds up." I didn't even want to consider how I was going to pay for things once I got back to Portland.
"I have the money, Geo," Wally insisted. "The last six months I've been doing really good. I have a regular gig with Oregon Live and that breakfast cereal game thing was huge." Wally's bread and butter was creating product-oriented minigames to turn lure the little kids onto various corporate websites. Those kids in turn became the most obnoxiously effective form of advertising a company could want: the kind that whined until you gave in and bought something. Morally, it was questionable and money wise, it was inconsistent at best. Feast or famine with famine usually in the lead. It would be extremely tough for Wally to support my dead weight for any length of time.
As if reading my mind Wally grabbed my wrist. "You've carried me enough lean times, it's my turn to do the same. It's okay. I've got this."
Our server came back with the bill tucked away in a black faux leather folder. Wally immediately stuck his card in the plastic slot at the top and left it propped up.
"When I get a job, I'll pay you back," I vowed.
Wally grew pensive. "We'll deal with that when we come to it."
We returned to the Motel 6 exactly an hour after we'd checked in. This time the elderly Hispanic woman had a couple of white key cards to give us. I tucked mine into the front pocket of my jeans, where, to my surprise I still had the key to Nadette's dormitory as well as the that to the set of handcuffs Wally had bought earlier in the day. I wondered vaguely if I should ditch one or both of them.
We were turning to leave when the Hotel clerk said, "Matthew Churchfield?" to me.
I froze. She's going to ask for ID, was my panicked thought. I turned and squared myself to the desk. "Yes?"
"I have a fax for you?" She said it as if she wasn't sure she did. I hesitated, my mind whirling with confusion, trying to figure out what the word "fax" meant in this context. While I stood stupidly, she handed me an envelope with my pseudonym and the number of our room on the front where the address usually goes.
"Thanks, " I managed and then Wally gripped my upper arm and the two of us high tailed it out of the lobby. I took a half dozen steps out on the tarmac, then put my back to the warm sunbaked side of the building. Maybe it's my parents, I rationalized. Maybe Wally had somehow texted them where we'd be.
But Wally clearly hadn't. "How can this be?" asked Wally, his face pasty with fear. He grabbed my shoulders with both hands and shook me a little. "How can we be getting a message? I haven't told anyone. I swear. No one." He let me go and wiped his mouth with his hand and stared fretfully across the parking lot at the sedate Saturday afternoon traffic.
I leaned back against the wall of the Motel 6 and opened the envelope, dreading what I'd see inside. A single sheet of fax paper slipped out with the usual time code slip stapled to the top.
My dearest "Matthew,"
No. No. No. No. No.
You can do better than this. I know you can and I can't think what must be going on in your head to lead to such elementary mistakes. Remember, there are fourteen of us who know about Walter. All his debit card purchases make for a pretty clear trail, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out where you are going.
Cash only, my love. Do try to make this a bit difficult for my rivals.
In case you were awash in suspense, I did not win the fight against Nadette. Pity, I had in mind an Aleutian Island that would have been perfect for her temperament. Population of seventy-five, so the pickings are a bit on the lean side. She might actually have had to resort to dining on males. But it was not to be.
She did not prevail against me either; therefore my harem and bank account are still intact, much to my considerable relief.
Our duel came to an abrupt halt when I let slip that you had escaped from your room. At that point, Nadette lost all interest in fighting me and dashed off to find you, taking with her much of our audience. I'm ashamed to admit, coward that I am, I chose to make my exit while their backs were turned. You provided me an excellent diversion and I arrived at my safe haven without incident.
As I know you were worried, I assure you my injuries are relatively minor. Thanks to Nadette's staff, though not with her knowledge or approval, I'm receiving excellent care. By the way, Stan wishes to express his sincere apologies for interfering with your travel. He would type them in person, but I'm afraid appeasing me has tuckered him out. Once I'm fully placated, which I anticipate will take another day or two, I will come for you.
If you should choose to make things easier for me by diverting your course to Chicago, I will, of course, be appreciative. Should you decide to make a game of this, that is also acceptable, as I'm not in any particular hurry to return to my day to day drudgery and I do love a good chase. In either case, I anticipate enjoying our reunion in whatever location you choose.
Your loving and faithful Patron,
Jeffrey
I handed the letter to Wally who read it silently. Then, without a word, he walked back into Motel 6 lobby. I stood, shaking and numb, too stunned to do anything at all until Wally returned. He grabbed my sleeve and pulled me along to the car, tossing me into the back seat.
"We are going to drive in shifts," he said.
Back to Chapter 17
Forward to Chapter 19