Parental troubles involving wedding plans. :(

[weeona]

For those of you who have had vegan weddings (I did a backhunt through old posts, so I know some of you all have...) did any of you have problems with your parents completely refusing to have vegan food

Comments

[xchristinax]

i'm planning on having a vegan wedding. i would never ask my family to pay for the food but i would also not want to walk around on one of the most important days of my life with the smell of meat in the air - it's disgusting. it's one night of their lives - if they can't deal with doing without meat for such a small fraction of their lives, and on someone ELSE's wedding day/night, then they're not the kind of people I want to spend it with.

No matter how selfish they'll make you feel, think about how much more selfish it is for them to insist on the supply of something those paying are morally opposed to. would you insist on a hindu couple allowing beef? (i dont remember the exact meat that goes with the religion; the point is still there)

good luck :)

thank you

[weeona]

I think I may email her (avoiding the whole crying thing!) and let her know that we would like to have the banquet our way, we'll pay for everything, plan everything and all they have to do is attend and be happy

[stillmotion]

I always cry when I'm angry, upset, or passionate about something...
ME TOO! Always. Makes it really hard to stand tough and get my point across... You've got to do it though - stay strong. It's YOUR day. No matter how much you want your parents involved and completely supportive, it's your day, not theirs.
Plan a really great vegan menu over the next few months (or whatever your timeline is). Maybe keep them involved by making some of the recipes you're thinking about including and letting them taste. Maybe they'll surprise themselves and really enjoy the vegan food. I've seen this happen a LOT with non-vegs - they're suspicious of vegan eats, but when they take a bite, almost 100% of the time I see the eyes widen and hear the MMMMMMMs!
Congratulations on finding lasting love and good luck with the parents! :)

[misfit]

If you are paying for the banquet, you have ever right to pick the food. If people get so caught up in the fact that there is no meat instead of celebrating your wedding, then it is their loss. Is the focus of the event to serve meat or to celebrate your wedding? Of course it's to celebrate.

No offense, but your mom seems to have no clue about food in Jamaica. Certainly at a large resort like Sandals, they can afford to serve salads. The Sandals website has some sample menus for different resorts, and I'm sure that the chefs would be able to work with you for vegan meals.

I know...

[weeona]

She's gone to all the Sandal's resorts. They go to Jamaica every year... so I assumed that she knew what she was talking about. I kept saying "but the Sandals book had restaurants listed... like Italian and Asias... surely I can eat THAT."

She kept insisting we'd starve.
I don't know, maybe she was just being argumentative. I really don't know.

I just wrote her an email (crying the whole damn time, curses,why do I do that!) and tried my best to be polite but firm in explaining myelf. I hope she'll realize I'm serious and that that this really does matter to me. It's not some diet like South Beach, it's a lifestyle based on ethics. I don't think she gets that yet.

Leona

[susilou1]

im glad you emailed her, hopefully she'll listen to you.

but, like everyone else said: its your day, do what you want.

and im sure poeople can go one lousy wedding reception wihtout meat, dairy, or eggs

Email...

[weeona]

Here's the email I sent her. I hope she doesn't wig out

Re: Email...

[wefoughthard]

gooood letter. :) i hope everything is okay. after all, it is YOUR wedding, not your mom's!