Comments | veganpeople: Understanding vegan psychology: 101 - Why Go To a Veg Restaurant with Your Vegan Friend

jenhowell in veganpeople

Understanding vegan psychology: 101 - Why Go To a Veg Restaurant with Your Vegan Friend

Dec 01, 2006 07:53

I wrote this for my personal journal, but thought I'd post it here, in case any of you are dealing with this issue with your friends. Any feedback on how to improve the arguments would also be appreciated if you feel like it ( Read more... )

education, life as a vegan

Comments 15

iisabelle December 1 2006, 07:59:47 UTC

This post was interesting and had some good points I will try and remember. Thanks!

You are preaching to the choir a bit though. Did you crosspost it?

jenhowell December 1 2006, 08:02:46 UTC

I posted it here so that if any vegans or vegetarians had friends who didn't understand, they could refer them to this post or copy it in part or as a whole.

I guess I didn't make that clear! I'm not sure where I'd crosspost it to? Any suggestions?

iisabelle December 1 2006, 09:34:51 UTC

The vegetarian community maybe, as it has more people looking to go veg*n or maybe vegetarians not so keen on eating at vegan restaurants?

jenhowell December 1 2006, 22:02:43 UTC

ha ha ha! (Sorry, it's just that I got kicked off the vegetarian community about three years ago for talking "too much" about veganism. I didn't realize the moderator was telling me to stop, because I wasn't hip to LJ then and she didn't identify herself. So I was banned forever, despite a letter I wrote to her apologizing and telling her I hadn't realized she was the moderator.)

So yeah. No vegetarian community.

ihaveagstring December 1 2006, 11:14:52 UTC

I've posted this article to my own LJ if that's cool?

jenhowell December 1 2006, 22:03:10 UTC

Yeah, that's why I put it up here. Cool!

Agreement kristenny December 1 2006, 12:36:02 UTC

You put that nicely. I love the "not food...not food..." section especially ( ... )

darkhorse43 December 1 2006, 13:30:47 UTC

I thankfully have very understanding and accomodating friends though in the past I have had a few problems in larger groups. Notably once with a large group going out on MY BIRTHDAY that refused to go anywhere I could eat.

A few weeks ago the situation arose at work where everyone was going out for a going away party to Maggiano's (a chain italian place known for family style serving). I knew I couldn't eat anything but I really wanted to go for my friend who was the one leaving. People kept saying I don't know how you can sit there and not be tempted by all this food. I explained that to me it isn't food but they couldn't really understand.

When it comes to actual friends however I expect at least some consideration when we are going out and I'm thankful that I have friends that respect my beliefs enough to accomodate them.

neva_butterfly December 1 2006, 13:37:01 UTC

Sometimes it's an evolution over time. When I first became vegetarian and later vegan most of my friends weren't very accommodating. They saw it primarily as an inconvenience to them. There was also a factor where they didn't like that I'd changed and they were hoping to apply pressure and get me to change back (they admitted this later). Part of that pressure was going places where I couldn't eat anything ( ... )

aprilstarchild December 1 2006, 14:49:44 UTC

I also had to get to a point with myself where I wasn't acting like my needs were secondary to everyone else's.

That took a while for me, too. I always hated "picky" eaters in restaurants, and the idea that I was becoming one made me nervous. But it was amazing how fast I got used to asking questions--"Does that have cheese on it? Is your pasta made with eggs?"

I still suck it up and eat fries occasionally, but most of my friends and family members know better by now.

jenhowell December 1 2006, 22:56:55 UTC

The wedding rehearsal dinner incident did indeed take place only 2 months after my ex-husband and I had gone vegetarian - add to that that it was the first time we'd dealt with our families as vegetarians. And add to that that his very controlling mother was paying for the dinner and his sister was the princess of the family. In the end, I think they realized that we had nothing to eat, although my crazy father spent half the rehearsal dinner insisting that I had gone vegetarian only because my brother had (which was not true), even though my brother was not a vegetarian anymore and was, in fact, eating a steak.

It was not very fun.

The other incident, however, was completely unexpected to me. My reaction to the situation had more to do with me being outnumbered and in shock.