Crushed.... Happy New Year.

[usaresistance]

Wow, last night was the most fucked up night... well, since i found out my X had cheated on me, for sure. I went to her house as all my friends had other plans, and the people i had plans with just dicked me without even calling. I found her, some dude, and her best friend all rubbing on each other, high on Xtasy. The fucked up part is she told

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additional shitty thoughts

[usaresistance]

and two weekends ago, she was over here playing lover, the role she likes to assume when she wants to, but no other times lately, and she told me about this dream she had, of her making out with some other dude, and me coming in, yet being ok with it. I guess it didn't turn out like her dreams... sorry, never have been much of a conformist...

i am sick with pain right now...i could only sleep about 3 hours, maybe 4 last night. I am going for a bike ride, waked and baked, yet i am out soon, very soon. I am scared to run out of pot right now... and she was my best friend, the person i would call and talk to if i was feeling shitty. Gone.