my fingers cramp when they try to write of you

my imagination

falters

when i try to picture you

because reality is always

somehow

better than anything a misbehaving mind can see.

i see you everywhere

sprawled on the floor with your violin held

in your curling, possessive fingers

and i realize that if words were ( Read more... )

(NOTES: Posting this before it can get lost. Again. So, some explanations: my maternal grandfather (who is the one being mentioned here) died before I was born. And the Chinese believe noodles represent long life, which is why they are served at birthdays. My family follows this belief.)

At my grandfather's birthday lunch, there are no noodles.
( Read more... )

Manila sometimes I want to fling myself at you
Taste your grit on my lips like acid and hard-ridden cement
Sometimes I want you on my skin
A clear hot imprint of you on my body so that wherever I go people would look at me and say I'm yours
I want you in my blood, Manila,
want you singing your battle hymns and flying your paradoxes in half of my ( Read more... )

Poetry never came easily to me.

If I had rhyme

I had no reason

If I had charm,

I had no verse.

Therefore do not disappoint yourself

That though I strove for the transcendental

All I could achieve

Was a faint impression

Of your dusky hand in mine.

Do not blame me

If right now

Your smile was all ( Read more... )

 Good Lord, I just realized my LJ is almost exactly the same as my Posterous.

Should stop autoposting everything. But that would be SUCH effort. 

Hey, about this Monday...
Look, I don't know if I can express how scared--no, TERRIFIED I am.
This is so important to me, in a way that's never happened to me
before. It matters to me SO MUCH that I pass UP. I worry that I
failed-- fuck, worry is too nice a word. It's more like I...gnaw on it
like a hungry rodent. I fear it. I fear failing. I ( Read more... )

What fool would I be
To let every song I sing of you
Come from some other poem's lips?
It is too strange to imagine
That some stranger
Who cannot possibly envision the two of us
Would be the one to sing you home
(to me)
Body and soul
But it seems I have been exactly that type of fool.
Will you forgive me, is this enough to let you go?
I don't do ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wish could wake up to Gray.

Sent from my iPod

THE VIOLIN QUEEN

At night, I dream of a violin queen

She sounds her strings, how sweet they sing

The world can turn for all I care

As I smell roses in her hair.

She stares at me with feline eyes

Eyes that mock and tantalize

Fingers flying, she plays a tune

But then she ends it all too soon.

What do I make of her, my violin queen?

She is not here ( Read more... )

( Read more... )