[12] C'est La Mort [Nichkhun/Wooyoung, Nichkhun/Taecyeon]
Fic Title: C'est La Mort
Main Character: Nichkhun
Pairing: Nichkhun/Wooyoung, Taecyeon/Nichkhun
Warning(s): character death, language
Word count: 4,311
Prompt 1: You might think I'm your enemy, but that don't make you mine - Enemy, Jack Johnson
Prompt 2: http://31.media.tumblr.com/f47622ee6d2cc1a62c158b3e779bdfad/tumblr_mukgwlAcjk1rnngelo1_500.jpg
Prompt 3: underwater
1.
It’s a strange place to meet and get his secret mission, but nothing too out of the ordinary for Nichkhun. There’s a lot of people crowding the areas, and Nichkhun understands that this can be used to their advantage more than anything else. People would be too busy having fun, chasing young kids and taking pictures, hence they will also be too busy to even care about anything else around them.
Nobody will notice Nichkhun’s suspicious behavior, nor will they bother to eavesdrop on his conversation with his chief because they look like two close friends on a day out to the indoor aquarium just like everyone else in there. They’re just right at the end of the aquarium, one that shows colorful fishes on display but strangely, a less popular spot. Not that Nichkhun minded because it makes it the more easier for him to briefly discuss about his new mission with his chief.
Nichkhun doesn’t pay too much attention at all the sea creatures they have in the aquarium. He’s distracted by the new information instead, of how his life is going to be for at least the year ahead and already planning on how to work on his mission. His job is always thrilling and risky, but that’s what he likes most about it. It’s never dull and never normal, and Nichkhun lives for all the adrenaline rush he gets in completing his missions.
Kim Minjun, the paper says, Leader of Jun. K Corporation, also known as The Red Clan in the black market. Nichkhun smirks. They’ve been investigating and chasing The Red Clan for years and now they’ve finally found a way to get closer to the organization and collect evident to be used to prosecute Minjun and his whole corporations altogether.
“This is going to be damn interesting,” Nichkhun says to himself. He puts his aviator glasses back on and walks out of the place.
2.
The second time Nichkhun’s at the aquarium, he arrived a little too early. His chief has called to say he’s stuck in traffic and that he will come later than usual, please go take a look around first and make sure nobody followed you, so Nichkhun actually does what he says and strolls around the place.
He finds no suspicious people or weird behaviors around him. Shrugging, Nichkhun gets closer to the display glass and-for the fist time- sees all of the different kinds of sea creatures swimming around the huge tank. He watches in silent awe, learns quite a lot of the names of the animals and even takes pictures before he bumps onto someone familiar.
“Having a lot of fun, I see,” the person says. Nichkhun clears his throat and puts his phone away as they both walk down the path. For a few minutes, neither of them says a thing and Nichkhun allows his gaze to continue taking in all the scenes around him. “What do you have for me this time?”
Nichkhun immediately straightens up his posture. “Not much, sir. I’m still getting to know everyone and how things work around them. Since I’m fairly new, they don’t put a lot of trust in me yet. I am responsible of guarding Minjun’s brother for now with four other people.”
“Minjun has a brother?” the chief raises his eyebrow with interest at this new information. Nichkhun nods his head in affirmation.
“His identity has been kept well-hidden from everyone else because Minjun apparently doesn’t want him to get involved with their dirty business.”
“Hmm, interesting,” the chief acknowledges with a thoughtful nod. “By the way, Khun?”
“Yes, sir?”
A toothy grin. “Just call me by my name.”
Nichkhun rolls his eyes but feels himself relaxing a little. “But Taec, you’re way higher above me.”
“Our rankings are nothing compared to our life-long friendship, Khun. Let’s be comfortable around each other like we used to, yeah?”
Nichkhun offers a small smile but doesn’t reject the suggestion. He misses the old times- back to when they were still kids fighting imaginary villains together. Every night, right after everyone went to sleep, Taecyeon and him would roll onto their stomachs. They would face each other with chin or cheek propped on their folded arms on their respective pillows, talk about their futures together and imagine lives outside of the orphanage. Nichkhun feels silly remembering how he would blush when Taecyeon touched his cheek and told him he’d get them both out of the place, before saying goodnight.
Taecyeon was his everything- his best friend, his brother, and the only one he had in this world. Actually, he still is. Nichkhun will never deny that.
And so, Nichkhun easily agreed to Taecyeon. For old time’s sake, Taecyeon says.
For old time’s sake, Nichkhun agrees again.
3.
It’s been a long while since Nichkhun last met Taecyeon.
A lot of things have changed since then. Nichkhun comes by the aquarium again with a heavy heart and mixed feelings this time. Taecyeon is late, but Nichkhun doesn’t mind. It gives him some space and time to think over his life for the past six months.
It was awfully easy for Nichkhun to fit right in with the Red Clan. He has also grown very close and attached to Wooyoung (Minjun’s younger brother), and while Nichkhun feels like Minjun doesn’t trust him that much, he knows Minjun’s trying to, especially when Wooyoung keeps on telling Minjun of how good of a person he actually is.
“He wasn’t always like that,” Wooyoung had said to him once. “He used to be so kind and friendly and was always smiling. Now that he’s the head of the Jun. K Corporation, a lot of things had to be changed. He’s a bit cold and strict now, and he may not be the best person but I know he has a kind heart.”
Nichkhun knows he shouldn’t have a change of heart, shouldn’t put too much trust in his enemies but it’s too impossible not to. Being a part of the clan for so long, Nichkhun’s learned a lot of good things about them and that’s bad news. While Minjun might still have trust issues with Nichkhun, Wooyoung, on the other hand, doesn’t. Wooyoung fully trusts in Nichkhun and that somehow complicates things. His heart is set into a shake at how much Wooyoung believes in him, at how Wooyoung smiles at him and holds his hand. It’s an odd feeling- a brand new thrill and Nichkhun can’t say he doesn’t like it. In fact, he loves every single bit of it very much.
Wooyoung tells Nichkhun a lot of stuff, confides secrets that Nichkhun is not meant to know. The more he gets attached to Wooyoung and the clan, the more he feels bad and guilty and unworthy of being a part of them. Nichkhun doesn’t want to betray Wooyoung’s trust, doesn’t want to break Wooyoung apart because Nichkhun thinks he might be a little in love with the younger guy.
The Red Clan…they’re not entirely bad people. Beneath those cold and evil demeanor, everyone is actually decently nice and has close relationship with each other as how a family is. It had Nichkhun baffled for a long time before he finally come to accept this. The Red Clan is nothing like what Nichkhun was briefed about by Taecyeon, but Nichkhun’s uppers will never see or understand this for all they care about is to arrest Minjun and stop all of Red Clan’s operation.
“What do you have for me this time?” It’s something Taecyeon never fails to ask whenever they have secret meet ups like this.
Nichkhun sighs. Despite himself, he dutifully reports Red Clan’s activities for the past couple of months including their recent ones. He thinks, if he can’t help everyone in the Red Clan, perhaps saving Wooyoung would be enough for him.
4.
Nichkhun’s sitting on one of the benches in the undersea tunnel exhibition, his gaze following the sea creatures swimming all around the aquarium, finding strange comfort in the blue water and movements of the fishes. He’s been here countless of times before- enough to make him feel like he’s a part of this underwater world, separated only by the thick glasses between them. These days, whenever he comes here (whether to meet Taecyeon or to have some time alone on his own), he finds himself always lost in his thoughts.
The life underwater deep and far into the real ocean must be colder, darker and quieter than this, Nichkhun decides after a while, but with the immense area that stretches on and on without seemingly no end, there’s always danger looming around everywhere.
Ironically, it’s exactly the same like the life Nichkhun has come to know ever since he became a part of the Red Clan.
5.
This time, Nichkhun’s here at the aquarium with Wooyoung.
The idea of having a quiet date with Wooyoung at the very same place (where Nichkhun betrays the clan by handing information to his chief) somehow taints the pretty picture altogether. Of course, there’s nothing pure and right about neither their relationship or this date- at least not to the eyes of other people- , but it disturbs him all the same anyway. He feels so absurdly guilty and ashamed of himself. Not only does he not know who the real enemy is anymore, he’s dragging both parties down with his selfishness at the same time. He’s torn between being responsible and fulfilling his duties, and being selfish and so in love with Wooyoung.
Wooyoung looks ecstatic to be here and that, at least, puts a smile on Nichkhun’s face and eases the burden in his heart a little. Wooyoung can be such a kid sometimes and now he’s moving fast from one place to another while Nichkhun is just quietly following him from behind.
“Wow Khun, look at that stingray,” Wooyoung points his finger at a giant stingray, his eyes widened with childish amazement.
“Wow Wooyoung, look at you,” Nichkhun teases. “Are you that happy to be here?”
“I’m just excited!”
Nichkhun chuckles. “Obviously.”
“I’m happy to be here with you. Just the two of us,” Wooyoung says shyly. Nichkhun’s chuckles trailed off into a smile.
“Me, too,” Nichkhun answers and Wooyoung beams at him. Minjun’s learned to give his trust to Nichkhun and shows it by allowing him to take care of Wooyoung on his own. Nichkhun appreciates that, but at the same time the same feeling of guilt keeps on gnawing on his conscience. They’re going to arrest Minjun somehow, someday and Nichkhun can’t bring himself to imagine how betrayed the whole clan would feel, how broken Wooyoung would be when they find out it was Nichkhun’s doing all along.
“Wooyoung-ah,” Nichkhun calls. Wooyoung hums back in response to him, hands pressed on the cool glass and interested eyes gazing at the sea creatures. Right at this moment, Nichkhun realizes Wooyoung has become his huge weakness and that brings a flaw to his whole plan. He realizes it’s too late to turn around, but at the same time, he also realizes he doesn’t really want to turn around. “Let’s get away from here.”
“What? But we just got here,” Wooyoung frowns and turns to face Nichkhun. His expression falters when he sees the serious look on Nichkhun’s face.
“Let’s get away.”
6.
“Let’s get away,” Nichkhun suggests again for the fourth time that week. They’re sitting on a swing at the second floor‘s balcony, watching the sun slowly setting down and the orange rays make Wooyoung’s skin glows so beautifully. Wooyoung scoots closer to Nichkhun and rests his head on Nichkhun’s shoulder.
“From what?” Wooyoung asks, his voice barely above whispers. Usually, he would just dismiss the topic so Nichkhun’s a bit surprised when Wooyoung’s finally giving in and entertaining his idea.
“From here,” Nichkhun leans his head against Wooyoung’s. “From everyone. Let’s go far, far away from here.”
“What can we do with just the two of us?”
“We could be doing anything, Wooyoung. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”
“But being away from everyone else? It is kind of a scary thought,” Wooyoung voices out. “Why do we have to get far away?”
“So we can start over new,” Nichkhun says. So we don’t have to see the clan going down.
So they won’t take you away from me.
“We can be normal people, have normal jobs and normal lives. We can do normal things that won’t risk our lives all the time.”
“What if…” Wooyoung trails off. Wooyoung lifts his head up and looks at him, eyes searching for his. “What if we’re not meant to be normal people that do normal things? Will you still be okay with that?”
Nichkhun smiles faintly. Wooyoung’s basically hinting he doesn’t want to go with him and that stings a little.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Wooyoung says knowingly. “I just-. Time. Give me time, Khun.”
But time is not their friend. There will never be enough of it for Nichkhun to give to Wooyoung. It doesn’t move too slowly, neither does it move too quickly. Just a constant movement, ticking and ticking away and striking the days out, and Nichkhun can almost literally feel everything’s slipping away from his fingertips.
7.
Nichkhun takes a deep breath- along with the long drag of cigarette in, exhaling the smoke and tilting his head up to look at the sky.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Nichkhun says into the phone quietly.
“Don’t be stupid. Hang on for a little bit more, we’re already this close to corner Minjun to a dead end and then arrest him for good.” Nichkhun frowns deeply hearing the reply on the other end. Taecyeon’s voice was very stern and authoritative.
“I’ve told you everything I know, given you everything I could get my hands on. What else do you want from me?” It’s getting hot but Nichkhun can’t decide if it’s just the weather or something else burning inside of him. “Taec, I want a way out. I can’t be doing this forever.”
If this was a year ago, Nichkhun would have still loved his job and what he does for a living. The thrills and risks were exhilarating but after knowing the Red Clan, Nichkhun wants nothing more than peace and security and being a part of something he could call his own family. He finds it in Wooyoung.
Taecyeon sighs into the receiver. “Is this about Kim Minjun’s brother?”
“What if it was?” Nichkhun challenges.
“This is not right, Nichkhun.”
“You can be telling me what I need to do for my job, deciding what’s wrong and right for me is not a part of it.”
“Nichkhun-”
“I will take him away from here,” Nichkhun quickly interrupts. “His record is very clean. I will not let you guys take him away with you. He’s innocent.”
“That doesn’t settle anything. His record might be clean, but what about yours?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Need I remind you I’m the only one who knows about your secret identity? You’ve done dirty jobs for Minjun, Khun. You’re one of our most wanted person. If you ran away, it will only make things worse and I might not be able to save you, might not be able to clean your name.”
Grudgingly, Nichkhun throws and scuffs the cigarette against the concrete with his shoe, his fist clenched on his side and jaw tightened in anger. He knew this would bite sooner or later, but he didn’t think Taecyeon would stoop so low and used it against him at times like this.
“I don’t need you to save me.”
“Khun-” Before Taecyeon can say more, Nichkhun hung up on the call and through the window, he throws the phone to the passenger seat of his car. He sticks another roll of cigarette in between his lips and is about to light it when a hand snatches the cigarette away from his mouth. “Yah!” Nichkhun wants to protest but shuts his mouth tight when he sees it’s Wooyoung.
“Cigarettes are bad for you,” Wooyoung reprimands him, lifting his hand and throwing the white stick down the drain. It was the last one Nichkhun had too so he can only look at it wistfully. Nichkhun would have complained a little, had he not seen the huge duffle bag Wooyoung’s carrying.
“What’s that?” Nichkhun points at the bag with his eyes. Wooyoung swallows loudly and Nichkhun can see Wooyoung’s hand tightening on the strap. “Wooyoung?” Nichkhun looks up at Wooyoung and sees him smiling, but the fear shining in his eyes does not go unnoticed.
“Let’s get away.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s get away,” Wooyoung repeats himself. He opens the door to the driver’s seat and forces Nichkhun to get inside before slamming it shut again.
“Wait, wait,” Nichkhun follows Wooyoung’s movement until he’s sitting next to him in the car. “Where are we going?”
“Anywhere far from here.”
“What-”
“Khun, please,” Wooyoung licks his lips nervously and looks around the area for signs of people. “We have to get away from here. I-. Just. Drive. Okay? Please?”
The fear in Wooyoung’s eyes turns into desperation, his body trembling slightly and that’s enough to make Nichkhun move and do what Wooyoung asked him to.
8.
It’s a mass of blurry journey.
When Nichkhun asks what’s wrong and why are they doing this, Wooyoung refuses to answer him. That leaves Nichkhun with no choice but to wait for the time Wooyoung is finally willing to open up and tell him the truth. Wooyoung had been very fidgety throughout their car ride, and now that they’re here at the farthest city away from Seoul, it’s the first time in three days Wooyoung looks relieved and is able to breathe.
“You gonna tell me what’s going on?” Nichkhun carefully asks, making sure to make it sound as casual as he could manage as to not catch Wooyoung off-guard. They made a stop at the beach and are eating their simple lunch in the car. Wooyoung stays silent for a long time that Nichkhun’s almost convinced Wooyoung’s avoiding answering his question again.
“I…” Wooyoung starts quietly. His voice is so small, it could have gone unnoticed especially with the loud sound of the roaring waves. Nichkhun stops eating, his cheeks puffed up with the kimbap still in his mouth. He glances at Wooyoung, who has a sandwich in his hands but with gaze straight ahead at the ocean. When Wooyoung takes more time to decide on what to say, Nichkhun chews on his food and swallows them.
“Does your brother know we’re here? Damn, why are we here anyway?”
Wooyoung shakes his head, the edge of his lip twitches into a faint smile. He turns his head and locks his gaze with Nichkhun’s. “I thought you wanted to get away with me.”
“Wait…” Nichkhun sits up properly. He thought of the times he had asked Wooyoung to get far away from his home with him, and now, is this it? Wooyoung had agreed? As simple as that? “You mean…?”
Wooyoung puts his food away, uneasiness clear in the way he fidgets with his fingers. “I’m scared.” Nichkhun immediately reaches forward and grabs Wooyoung’s hands tightly.
“Don’t be. I’m here. We’ll…figure out what we’re going to do.”
Wooyoung shakes his head but tightens his hold on Nichkhun’s hand. He doesn’t say anything more than a whispered “You don’t understand.”
Nichkhun wants to ask what does he not understand, but when he sees the lone tear trickling down Wooyoung’s cheek, all words get stuck in his throat and never make it past his mouth.
9.
They rent a cheap, small room at a motel near to the beach. Every night, they’d walk to the beach and sit on the dock, sometimes talking and sometimes just sitting in silence. Looking at the dark water reminds Nichkhun of the aquarium, which in turn reminds him of Taecyeon. Taecyeon hasn’t been trying to reach him, but then again, Nichkhun never leaves his phone on anymore, thus it would make it hard for Taecyeon to call him. No one’s trying to find him and Wooyoung either, which is kind of odd, but Nichkhun tries not to put too much thoughts into it. He wonders how things are back at home and thinking of how the police force is almost ready to take the Red Clan down, Nichkhun feels the familiar uncomfortable guilt weighing on his heart.
At least, Wooyoung is here with him, safe and sound.
He knows he should be glad about that, but Nichkhun is not. Every each and one of the people in the clan that he had come to know is dear to him, and to leave them all behind to be ambushed and arrested, it doesn’t leave a good feeling to Nichkhun at all.
“What are you thinking about?” Wooyoung asks from beside him. They both have their feet up to their ankles submerged in the water. Nichkhun swirls his ankles, feeling the coldness sending shivers up his spine. He wonders how it’s like to be in there, to be truly, completely submerged into the water. He imagines how it’s like to have the water moving and pressing against his skin, to have the water stealing air from his lungs, to drown. He thinks it can’t be any different from the situation he’s been put into anyway.
“Drowning,” Nichkhun answers absently.
“Drowning?” There’s a hint of wonder in Wooyoung’s voice when he repeats Nichkhun’s answer. Nichkhun nods a yes back at him. Drowning in guilt and burdens. Will Wooyoung understand this feeling? “You? Drowning?”
“If I drown, would you save me?”
“I can’t swim though so we’d probably drown together.” There’s just something morbidly sweet about that and unknowingly, Nichkhun lets out a loud laugh. “It’s probably better if we drown together.”
Wooyoung’s serious tone immediately shuts Nichkhun up. When he looks at Wooyoung, the younger guy has an equally serious expression donned on his face, and Nichkhun knows he means everything he said- including the I love you and the kiss that follows right after.
10.
It took them seven days to find Nichkhun and Wooyoung.
It had been paradise for them. Seven days of paradise, and just when Nichkhun was sure they’d be living a happy, peaceful life ahead, someone found them and Nichkhun knew he was wrong.
Terribly wrong.
Because now, he has a gun pointed right at his heart. One wrong move and everything will be over.
“You fucker!” Junho screams with rage. There’s fire burning in his eyes and his face is red from anger. Junho is not in a good shape- there are bruises and dried wounds everywhere on his face and body, and Nichkhun can only guess what happened back home. Nichkhun feels his heart sinks a little. He doesn’t know how Junho found them, but they’ve always had a knack at tracking Wooyoung down. It must be one of Minjun’s doings.
“Junho, stop this now!” Wooyoung shouts from the side in panic. Outside, there are sounds of approaching footsteps and sirens surrounding the motel.
“Why?!” Junho demands. “He did this to us, Wooyoung! Do you even have any idea what’s happening back at home? Do you?! He ruined everything!”
At the mention of home, Nichkhun notices Wooyoung whimpering a little but what surprises him more is the fact that Wooyoung doesn’t freak out as much as he should. In fact, he looks too accepting, like he knew this was going to happen, like he’d already knew all the consequences it would bring to them all. Nichkhun widens his eyes at the sudden realization.
“Wooyoung,” Nichkhun says and tries to reach for Wooyoung, but Junho stops him by pressing his gun harder against Nichkhun’s chest.
“I knew,” Wooyoung quivers and closes his eyes.
“What?” Both Nichkhun and Junho ask at the same time.
“I knew you’re not the person who we all thought you were,” Wooyoung answers, more to Nichkhun. “I knew and yet I can’t-” Wooyoung stops and sniffles, tears beginning to escape his eyes.
“You knew?” Junho asks in disbelief. “You knew Minjun was going to get rid of him so you took him far away?” Nichkhun turns speechless at this realization as well. Nichkhun feels his heart sink even more, down to the pit of his stomach. How long have Wooyoung known? How long did he have to keep quiet, to pretend he’s oblivious of Nichkhun’s real identity?
“Nichkhun, I knew we wouldn’t last here for too long. I know it’s not much but those short days are the only thing I could give to you. I’m so sorry.”
“Wooyoung. Wooyoung, what are you doing?” Nichkhun feels the panic rises in him seeing Wooyoung taking out a gun from his bag. Wooyoung takes a deep breath in and then points the gun at Junho’s head.
You have been surrounded, a voice echoes from the outside. Put your weapons down and nobody gets hurt.
“Fucking seriously now,” Junho scoffs at Wooyoung, uncaring of the warning they just heard.
“Let him go,” Wooyoung says.
“We fucking grew up together and yet you’re pointing your gun at me instead of at this little shit right here?!” Junho’s slightly hysterical now, and Nichkhun can feel the gun poking on his chest several times. Nichkhun wants to move but that would mean getting a bullet straight to his heart. “Wow, this fucker got to your head real good.”
This is your last warning. Put the weapons down, or we will shoot-
“Put the goddamned thing down Lee Junho!” Wooyoung screams.
Junho snickers mockingly. “Oh yeah? Or what? You’re going to shoot me? Well, if I’m going to die, might as well take this motherfucker down with me.”
11.
Someone pulls the trigger.
None of them knows who falls on the ground first.
Main Character: Nichkhun
Pairing: Nichkhun/Wooyoung, Taecyeon/Nichkhun
Warning(s): character death, language
Word count: 4,311
Prompt 1: You might think I'm your enemy, but that don't make you mine - Enemy, Jack Johnson
Prompt 2: http://31.media.tumblr.com/f47622ee6d2cc1a62c158b3e779bdfad/tumblr_mukgwlAcjk1rnngelo1_500.jpg
Prompt 3: underwater
1.
It’s a strange place to meet and get his secret mission, but nothing too out of the ordinary for Nichkhun. There’s a lot of people crowding the areas, and Nichkhun understands that this can be used to their advantage more than anything else. People would be too busy having fun, chasing young kids and taking pictures, hence they will also be too busy to even care about anything else around them.
Nobody will notice Nichkhun’s suspicious behavior, nor will they bother to eavesdrop on his conversation with his chief because they look like two close friends on a day out to the indoor aquarium just like everyone else in there. They’re just right at the end of the aquarium, one that shows colorful fishes on display but strangely, a less popular spot. Not that Nichkhun minded because it makes it the more easier for him to briefly discuss about his new mission with his chief.
Nichkhun doesn’t pay too much attention at all the sea creatures they have in the aquarium. He’s distracted by the new information instead, of how his life is going to be for at least the year ahead and already planning on how to work on his mission. His job is always thrilling and risky, but that’s what he likes most about it. It’s never dull and never normal, and Nichkhun lives for all the adrenaline rush he gets in completing his missions.
Kim Minjun, the paper says, Leader of Jun. K Corporation, also known as The Red Clan in the black market. Nichkhun smirks. They’ve been investigating and chasing The Red Clan for years and now they’ve finally found a way to get closer to the organization and collect evident to be used to prosecute Minjun and his whole corporations altogether.
“This is going to be damn interesting,” Nichkhun says to himself. He puts his aviator glasses back on and walks out of the place.
2.
The second time Nichkhun’s at the aquarium, he arrived a little too early. His chief has called to say he’s stuck in traffic and that he will come later than usual, please go take a look around first and make sure nobody followed you, so Nichkhun actually does what he says and strolls around the place.
He finds no suspicious people or weird behaviors around him. Shrugging, Nichkhun gets closer to the display glass and-for the fist time- sees all of the different kinds of sea creatures swimming around the huge tank. He watches in silent awe, learns quite a lot of the names of the animals and even takes pictures before he bumps onto someone familiar.
“Having a lot of fun, I see,” the person says. Nichkhun clears his throat and puts his phone away as they both walk down the path. For a few minutes, neither of them says a thing and Nichkhun allows his gaze to continue taking in all the scenes around him. “What do you have for me this time?”
Nichkhun immediately straightens up his posture. “Not much, sir. I’m still getting to know everyone and how things work around them. Since I’m fairly new, they don’t put a lot of trust in me yet. I am responsible of guarding Minjun’s brother for now with four other people.”
“Minjun has a brother?” the chief raises his eyebrow with interest at this new information. Nichkhun nods his head in affirmation.
“His identity has been kept well-hidden from everyone else because Minjun apparently doesn’t want him to get involved with their dirty business.”
“Hmm, interesting,” the chief acknowledges with a thoughtful nod. “By the way, Khun?”
“Yes, sir?”
A toothy grin. “Just call me by my name.”
Nichkhun rolls his eyes but feels himself relaxing a little. “But Taec, you’re way higher above me.”
“Our rankings are nothing compared to our life-long friendship, Khun. Let’s be comfortable around each other like we used to, yeah?”
Nichkhun offers a small smile but doesn’t reject the suggestion. He misses the old times- back to when they were still kids fighting imaginary villains together. Every night, right after everyone went to sleep, Taecyeon and him would roll onto their stomachs. They would face each other with chin or cheek propped on their folded arms on their respective pillows, talk about their futures together and imagine lives outside of the orphanage. Nichkhun feels silly remembering how he would blush when Taecyeon touched his cheek and told him he’d get them both out of the place, before saying goodnight.
Taecyeon was his everything- his best friend, his brother, and the only one he had in this world. Actually, he still is. Nichkhun will never deny that.
And so, Nichkhun easily agreed to Taecyeon. For old time’s sake, Taecyeon says.
For old time’s sake, Nichkhun agrees again.
3.
It’s been a long while since Nichkhun last met Taecyeon.
A lot of things have changed since then. Nichkhun comes by the aquarium again with a heavy heart and mixed feelings this time. Taecyeon is late, but Nichkhun doesn’t mind. It gives him some space and time to think over his life for the past six months.
It was awfully easy for Nichkhun to fit right in with the Red Clan. He has also grown very close and attached to Wooyoung (Minjun’s younger brother), and while Nichkhun feels like Minjun doesn’t trust him that much, he knows Minjun’s trying to, especially when Wooyoung keeps on telling Minjun of how good of a person he actually is.
“He wasn’t always like that,” Wooyoung had said to him once. “He used to be so kind and friendly and was always smiling. Now that he’s the head of the Jun. K Corporation, a lot of things had to be changed. He’s a bit cold and strict now, and he may not be the best person but I know he has a kind heart.”
Nichkhun knows he shouldn’t have a change of heart, shouldn’t put too much trust in his enemies but it’s too impossible not to. Being a part of the clan for so long, Nichkhun’s learned a lot of good things about them and that’s bad news. While Minjun might still have trust issues with Nichkhun, Wooyoung, on the other hand, doesn’t. Wooyoung fully trusts in Nichkhun and that somehow complicates things. His heart is set into a shake at how much Wooyoung believes in him, at how Wooyoung smiles at him and holds his hand. It’s an odd feeling- a brand new thrill and Nichkhun can’t say he doesn’t like it. In fact, he loves every single bit of it very much.
Wooyoung tells Nichkhun a lot of stuff, confides secrets that Nichkhun is not meant to know. The more he gets attached to Wooyoung and the clan, the more he feels bad and guilty and unworthy of being a part of them. Nichkhun doesn’t want to betray Wooyoung’s trust, doesn’t want to break Wooyoung apart because Nichkhun thinks he might be a little in love with the younger guy.
The Red Clan…they’re not entirely bad people. Beneath those cold and evil demeanor, everyone is actually decently nice and has close relationship with each other as how a family is. It had Nichkhun baffled for a long time before he finally come to accept this. The Red Clan is nothing like what Nichkhun was briefed about by Taecyeon, but Nichkhun’s uppers will never see or understand this for all they care about is to arrest Minjun and stop all of Red Clan’s operation.
“What do you have for me this time?” It’s something Taecyeon never fails to ask whenever they have secret meet ups like this.
Nichkhun sighs. Despite himself, he dutifully reports Red Clan’s activities for the past couple of months including their recent ones. He thinks, if he can’t help everyone in the Red Clan, perhaps saving Wooyoung would be enough for him.
4.
Nichkhun’s sitting on one of the benches in the undersea tunnel exhibition, his gaze following the sea creatures swimming all around the aquarium, finding strange comfort in the blue water and movements of the fishes. He’s been here countless of times before- enough to make him feel like he’s a part of this underwater world, separated only by the thick glasses between them. These days, whenever he comes here (whether to meet Taecyeon or to have some time alone on his own), he finds himself always lost in his thoughts.
The life underwater deep and far into the real ocean must be colder, darker and quieter than this, Nichkhun decides after a while, but with the immense area that stretches on and on without seemingly no end, there’s always danger looming around everywhere.
Ironically, it’s exactly the same like the life Nichkhun has come to know ever since he became a part of the Red Clan.
5.
This time, Nichkhun’s here at the aquarium with Wooyoung.
The idea of having a quiet date with Wooyoung at the very same place (where Nichkhun betrays the clan by handing information to his chief) somehow taints the pretty picture altogether. Of course, there’s nothing pure and right about neither their relationship or this date- at least not to the eyes of other people- , but it disturbs him all the same anyway. He feels so absurdly guilty and ashamed of himself. Not only does he not know who the real enemy is anymore, he’s dragging both parties down with his selfishness at the same time. He’s torn between being responsible and fulfilling his duties, and being selfish and so in love with Wooyoung.
Wooyoung looks ecstatic to be here and that, at least, puts a smile on Nichkhun’s face and eases the burden in his heart a little. Wooyoung can be such a kid sometimes and now he’s moving fast from one place to another while Nichkhun is just quietly following him from behind.
“Wow Khun, look at that stingray,” Wooyoung points his finger at a giant stingray, his eyes widened with childish amazement.
“Wow Wooyoung, look at you,” Nichkhun teases. “Are you that happy to be here?”
“I’m just excited!”
Nichkhun chuckles. “Obviously.”
“I’m happy to be here with you. Just the two of us,” Wooyoung says shyly. Nichkhun’s chuckles trailed off into a smile.
“Me, too,” Nichkhun answers and Wooyoung beams at him. Minjun’s learned to give his trust to Nichkhun and shows it by allowing him to take care of Wooyoung on his own. Nichkhun appreciates that, but at the same time the same feeling of guilt keeps on gnawing on his conscience. They’re going to arrest Minjun somehow, someday and Nichkhun can’t bring himself to imagine how betrayed the whole clan would feel, how broken Wooyoung would be when they find out it was Nichkhun’s doing all along.
“Wooyoung-ah,” Nichkhun calls. Wooyoung hums back in response to him, hands pressed on the cool glass and interested eyes gazing at the sea creatures. Right at this moment, Nichkhun realizes Wooyoung has become his huge weakness and that brings a flaw to his whole plan. He realizes it’s too late to turn around, but at the same time, he also realizes he doesn’t really want to turn around. “Let’s get away from here.”
“What? But we just got here,” Wooyoung frowns and turns to face Nichkhun. His expression falters when he sees the serious look on Nichkhun’s face.
“Let’s get away.”
6.
“Let’s get away,” Nichkhun suggests again for the fourth time that week. They’re sitting on a swing at the second floor‘s balcony, watching the sun slowly setting down and the orange rays make Wooyoung’s skin glows so beautifully. Wooyoung scoots closer to Nichkhun and rests his head on Nichkhun’s shoulder.
“From what?” Wooyoung asks, his voice barely above whispers. Usually, he would just dismiss the topic so Nichkhun’s a bit surprised when Wooyoung’s finally giving in and entertaining his idea.
“From here,” Nichkhun leans his head against Wooyoung’s. “From everyone. Let’s go far, far away from here.”
“What can we do with just the two of us?”
“We could be doing anything, Wooyoung. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”
“But being away from everyone else? It is kind of a scary thought,” Wooyoung voices out. “Why do we have to get far away?”
“So we can start over new,” Nichkhun says. So we don’t have to see the clan going down.
So they won’t take you away from me.
“We can be normal people, have normal jobs and normal lives. We can do normal things that won’t risk our lives all the time.”
“What if…” Wooyoung trails off. Wooyoung lifts his head up and looks at him, eyes searching for his. “What if we’re not meant to be normal people that do normal things? Will you still be okay with that?”
Nichkhun smiles faintly. Wooyoung’s basically hinting he doesn’t want to go with him and that stings a little.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Wooyoung says knowingly. “I just-. Time. Give me time, Khun.”
But time is not their friend. There will never be enough of it for Nichkhun to give to Wooyoung. It doesn’t move too slowly, neither does it move too quickly. Just a constant movement, ticking and ticking away and striking the days out, and Nichkhun can almost literally feel everything’s slipping away from his fingertips.
7.
Nichkhun takes a deep breath- along with the long drag of cigarette in, exhaling the smoke and tilting his head up to look at the sky.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Nichkhun says into the phone quietly.
“Don’t be stupid. Hang on for a little bit more, we’re already this close to corner Minjun to a dead end and then arrest him for good.” Nichkhun frowns deeply hearing the reply on the other end. Taecyeon’s voice was very stern and authoritative.
“I’ve told you everything I know, given you everything I could get my hands on. What else do you want from me?” It’s getting hot but Nichkhun can’t decide if it’s just the weather or something else burning inside of him. “Taec, I want a way out. I can’t be doing this forever.”
If this was a year ago, Nichkhun would have still loved his job and what he does for a living. The thrills and risks were exhilarating but after knowing the Red Clan, Nichkhun wants nothing more than peace and security and being a part of something he could call his own family. He finds it in Wooyoung.
Taecyeon sighs into the receiver. “Is this about Kim Minjun’s brother?”
“What if it was?” Nichkhun challenges.
“This is not right, Nichkhun.”
“You can be telling me what I need to do for my job, deciding what’s wrong and right for me is not a part of it.”
“Nichkhun-”
“I will take him away from here,” Nichkhun quickly interrupts. “His record is very clean. I will not let you guys take him away with you. He’s innocent.”
“That doesn’t settle anything. His record might be clean, but what about yours?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Need I remind you I’m the only one who knows about your secret identity? You’ve done dirty jobs for Minjun, Khun. You’re one of our most wanted person. If you ran away, it will only make things worse and I might not be able to save you, might not be able to clean your name.”
Grudgingly, Nichkhun throws and scuffs the cigarette against the concrete with his shoe, his fist clenched on his side and jaw tightened in anger. He knew this would bite sooner or later, but he didn’t think Taecyeon would stoop so low and used it against him at times like this.
“I don’t need you to save me.”
“Khun-” Before Taecyeon can say more, Nichkhun hung up on the call and through the window, he throws the phone to the passenger seat of his car. He sticks another roll of cigarette in between his lips and is about to light it when a hand snatches the cigarette away from his mouth. “Yah!” Nichkhun wants to protest but shuts his mouth tight when he sees it’s Wooyoung.
“Cigarettes are bad for you,” Wooyoung reprimands him, lifting his hand and throwing the white stick down the drain. It was the last one Nichkhun had too so he can only look at it wistfully. Nichkhun would have complained a little, had he not seen the huge duffle bag Wooyoung’s carrying.
“What’s that?” Nichkhun points at the bag with his eyes. Wooyoung swallows loudly and Nichkhun can see Wooyoung’s hand tightening on the strap. “Wooyoung?” Nichkhun looks up at Wooyoung and sees him smiling, but the fear shining in his eyes does not go unnoticed.
“Let’s get away.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s get away,” Wooyoung repeats himself. He opens the door to the driver’s seat and forces Nichkhun to get inside before slamming it shut again.
“Wait, wait,” Nichkhun follows Wooyoung’s movement until he’s sitting next to him in the car. “Where are we going?”
“Anywhere far from here.”
“What-”
“Khun, please,” Wooyoung licks his lips nervously and looks around the area for signs of people. “We have to get away from here. I-. Just. Drive. Okay? Please?”
The fear in Wooyoung’s eyes turns into desperation, his body trembling slightly and that’s enough to make Nichkhun move and do what Wooyoung asked him to.
8.
It’s a mass of blurry journey.
When Nichkhun asks what’s wrong and why are they doing this, Wooyoung refuses to answer him. That leaves Nichkhun with no choice but to wait for the time Wooyoung is finally willing to open up and tell him the truth. Wooyoung had been very fidgety throughout their car ride, and now that they’re here at the farthest city away from Seoul, it’s the first time in three days Wooyoung looks relieved and is able to breathe.
“You gonna tell me what’s going on?” Nichkhun carefully asks, making sure to make it sound as casual as he could manage as to not catch Wooyoung off-guard. They made a stop at the beach and are eating their simple lunch in the car. Wooyoung stays silent for a long time that Nichkhun’s almost convinced Wooyoung’s avoiding answering his question again.
“I…” Wooyoung starts quietly. His voice is so small, it could have gone unnoticed especially with the loud sound of the roaring waves. Nichkhun stops eating, his cheeks puffed up with the kimbap still in his mouth. He glances at Wooyoung, who has a sandwich in his hands but with gaze straight ahead at the ocean. When Wooyoung takes more time to decide on what to say, Nichkhun chews on his food and swallows them.
“Does your brother know we’re here? Damn, why are we here anyway?”
Wooyoung shakes his head, the edge of his lip twitches into a faint smile. He turns his head and locks his gaze with Nichkhun’s. “I thought you wanted to get away with me.”
“Wait…” Nichkhun sits up properly. He thought of the times he had asked Wooyoung to get far away from his home with him, and now, is this it? Wooyoung had agreed? As simple as that? “You mean…?”
Wooyoung puts his food away, uneasiness clear in the way he fidgets with his fingers. “I’m scared.” Nichkhun immediately reaches forward and grabs Wooyoung’s hands tightly.
“Don’t be. I’m here. We’ll…figure out what we’re going to do.”
Wooyoung shakes his head but tightens his hold on Nichkhun’s hand. He doesn’t say anything more than a whispered “You don’t understand.”
Nichkhun wants to ask what does he not understand, but when he sees the lone tear trickling down Wooyoung’s cheek, all words get stuck in his throat and never make it past his mouth.
9.
They rent a cheap, small room at a motel near to the beach. Every night, they’d walk to the beach and sit on the dock, sometimes talking and sometimes just sitting in silence. Looking at the dark water reminds Nichkhun of the aquarium, which in turn reminds him of Taecyeon. Taecyeon hasn’t been trying to reach him, but then again, Nichkhun never leaves his phone on anymore, thus it would make it hard for Taecyeon to call him. No one’s trying to find him and Wooyoung either, which is kind of odd, but Nichkhun tries not to put too much thoughts into it. He wonders how things are back at home and thinking of how the police force is almost ready to take the Red Clan down, Nichkhun feels the familiar uncomfortable guilt weighing on his heart.
At least, Wooyoung is here with him, safe and sound.
He knows he should be glad about that, but Nichkhun is not. Every each and one of the people in the clan that he had come to know is dear to him, and to leave them all behind to be ambushed and arrested, it doesn’t leave a good feeling to Nichkhun at all.
“What are you thinking about?” Wooyoung asks from beside him. They both have their feet up to their ankles submerged in the water. Nichkhun swirls his ankles, feeling the coldness sending shivers up his spine. He wonders how it’s like to be in there, to be truly, completely submerged into the water. He imagines how it’s like to have the water moving and pressing against his skin, to have the water stealing air from his lungs, to drown. He thinks it can’t be any different from the situation he’s been put into anyway.
“Drowning,” Nichkhun answers absently.
“Drowning?” There’s a hint of wonder in Wooyoung’s voice when he repeats Nichkhun’s answer. Nichkhun nods a yes back at him. Drowning in guilt and burdens. Will Wooyoung understand this feeling? “You? Drowning?”
“If I drown, would you save me?”
“I can’t swim though so we’d probably drown together.” There’s just something morbidly sweet about that and unknowingly, Nichkhun lets out a loud laugh. “It’s probably better if we drown together.”
Wooyoung’s serious tone immediately shuts Nichkhun up. When he looks at Wooyoung, the younger guy has an equally serious expression donned on his face, and Nichkhun knows he means everything he said- including the I love you and the kiss that follows right after.
10.
It took them seven days to find Nichkhun and Wooyoung.
It had been paradise for them. Seven days of paradise, and just when Nichkhun was sure they’d be living a happy, peaceful life ahead, someone found them and Nichkhun knew he was wrong.
Terribly wrong.
Because now, he has a gun pointed right at his heart. One wrong move and everything will be over.
“You fucker!” Junho screams with rage. There’s fire burning in his eyes and his face is red from anger. Junho is not in a good shape- there are bruises and dried wounds everywhere on his face and body, and Nichkhun can only guess what happened back home. Nichkhun feels his heart sinks a little. He doesn’t know how Junho found them, but they’ve always had a knack at tracking Wooyoung down. It must be one of Minjun’s doings.
“Junho, stop this now!” Wooyoung shouts from the side in panic. Outside, there are sounds of approaching footsteps and sirens surrounding the motel.
“Why?!” Junho demands. “He did this to us, Wooyoung! Do you even have any idea what’s happening back at home? Do you?! He ruined everything!”
At the mention of home, Nichkhun notices Wooyoung whimpering a little but what surprises him more is the fact that Wooyoung doesn’t freak out as much as he should. In fact, he looks too accepting, like he knew this was going to happen, like he’d already knew all the consequences it would bring to them all. Nichkhun widens his eyes at the sudden realization.
“Wooyoung,” Nichkhun says and tries to reach for Wooyoung, but Junho stops him by pressing his gun harder against Nichkhun’s chest.
“I knew,” Wooyoung quivers and closes his eyes.
“What?” Both Nichkhun and Junho ask at the same time.
“I knew you’re not the person who we all thought you were,” Wooyoung answers, more to Nichkhun. “I knew and yet I can’t-” Wooyoung stops and sniffles, tears beginning to escape his eyes.
“You knew?” Junho asks in disbelief. “You knew Minjun was going to get rid of him so you took him far away?” Nichkhun turns speechless at this realization as well. Nichkhun feels his heart sink even more, down to the pit of his stomach. How long have Wooyoung known? How long did he have to keep quiet, to pretend he’s oblivious of Nichkhun’s real identity?
“Nichkhun, I knew we wouldn’t last here for too long. I know it’s not much but those short days are the only thing I could give to you. I’m so sorry.”
“Wooyoung. Wooyoung, what are you doing?” Nichkhun feels the panic rises in him seeing Wooyoung taking out a gun from his bag. Wooyoung takes a deep breath in and then points the gun at Junho’s head.
You have been surrounded, a voice echoes from the outside. Put your weapons down and nobody gets hurt.
“Fucking seriously now,” Junho scoffs at Wooyoung, uncaring of the warning they just heard.
“Let him go,” Wooyoung says.
“We fucking grew up together and yet you’re pointing your gun at me instead of at this little shit right here?!” Junho’s slightly hysterical now, and Nichkhun can feel the gun poking on his chest several times. Nichkhun wants to move but that would mean getting a bullet straight to his heart. “Wow, this fucker got to your head real good.”
This is your last warning. Put the weapons down, or we will shoot-
“Put the goddamned thing down Lee Junho!” Wooyoung screams.
Junho snickers mockingly. “Oh yeah? Or what? You’re going to shoot me? Well, if I’m going to die, might as well take this motherfucker down with me.”
11.
Someone pulls the trigger.
None of them knows who falls on the ground first.