[13] His Eyes [Nichkhun/Wooyoung]
Fic Title: His Eyes
Main Characters: Nichkhun, Wooyoung
Pairing: Khunyoung
Warnings: Suggestions of violence/murder, some vulgarities
Word Count: 5,116 words
Prompt 1: I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won/I don't care if heaven won't take me back ('Angel With A Shotgun' by The Cab)
Prompt 2: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxo4fy3Ao61r8xqp1o1_500.jpg
Prompt 3: Scrutiny
Eyes.
Wooyoung’s eyes spoke volumes to Nichkhun. His eyes were a window to his soul and Nichkhun had learned so much just by swimming in them whenever he could. When Nichkhun first met Wooyoung, his eyes spoke of warmth, joy, innocence, contentment with a sparkle of mischief. And when their eyes met, even for the briefest of moments Nichkhun gained much strength. He took great pleasure from the fleeting moments when his heart felt cradled by the warmth emanating from Wooyoung’s eyes. And with every meeting, Nichkhun had inevitably fallen deeper and deeper.
Wooyoung would come into the cafe every day, walking in at 7pm on Monday through to Thursday, and then at 6pm for the rest of the week. He’d casually walk towards the counter, say a polite hello to Nichkhun, and then he’d order a Mocha Frappucino before heading to the table by the window. If Nichkhun was lucky, he would get a soft smile from Wooyoung. But even when Wooyoung didn’t smile, his eyes would still gleam with warmth and kindness.
Occasionally Wooyoung would bring a friend along, a blonde haired boy, Junho, who would sit opposite him. The two of them would animatedly talk about life while Nichkhun watched from the counter, allowing himself to take in Wooyoung’s every expression and gesture. And when Wooyoung laughed, Nichkhun wished there was a pause button in his life. He would want nothing more than to be able to bask in the music that was Wooyoung’s laughter for hours on end.
On other days, Wooyoung would just sit alone, contented with his ipad as a companion. He would browse the news or occasionally indulge in some drawing. On those days, Nichkhun would play a guessing game with himself. He would always try and guess the news story that Wooyoung was engrossed in from the expressions that he was making. Usually, if the news story was particularly disconcerting, Wooyoung’s eyebrows would furrow in deep worry and he would softly shake his head in disapproval, sometimes even sighing out loud to express his discontent. On the other hand, if he was reading football news, he’d occasionally take out his phone, to triumphantly text a friend to gloat about his favourite football team winning a recent match as a smug smile would find itself etching on his face.
Nichkhun always told himself that one day, on the perfect day, he’d finally try and make conversation with Wooyoung; something more than the usual hello’s and thank you’s. But unfortunately whenever Wooyoung walks into the cafe, Nichkhun’s confidence always faltered, and all he was capable of was making coffee. The situation was so dire that his vocal cords couldn’t even cooperate long enough for him to be capable of making any form of small talk; not even kindergarten levels of conversation about the weather. Sometimes when he’s back home in the comfort of his own bed, he would contemplate and reminisce about the day’s meeting with Wooyoung, and all Nichkhun was sure about was the fact that Wooyoung must be convinced that he was a socially awkward weirdo or something.
But regardless of his failures in making conversation with Wooyoung, Nichkhun was more than contented to be in his mere presence. Every day Wooyoung walks through the cafe door, Nichkhun would silently thank god for granting his wishes again; for allowing his angel to walk though those doors. Just his smile alone brought much joy to Nichkhun’s otherwise monotonous life. Nichkhun had found happiness in Wooyoung and a daily dose of Wooyoung’s warmth was all Nichkhun needed.
And then one day it changed. The warmth was gone.
Eyes.
Wooyoung’s eyes were dull, hollow, completely void of life even. Just blank and slightly dark. Nichkhun had managed to hold his gaze for 2 seconds before the boy quickly turned away and instead of the usual warmth that Nichkhun would indulge in, this time Nichkhun was only greeted by chills down his spine. It was completely unchartered territory and Nichkhun was truly perplexed as to the best way to respond to the boy’s despondent state. He knew that it would have been polite to just ask the boy whether he was feeling okay but then again, from Wooyoung’s body language Nichkhun was confident that he wasn’t in the mood to talk. As Nichkhun was mulling over his options, Wooyoung picked up his coffee and instead of going to his usual table, hastily walked straight out of the cafe, not even turning back once to say goodbye.
For once, Nichkhun really regretted the fact that he hadn’t managed to strike a conversation with Wooyoung. All he needed to do was to ask Wooyoung how he was feeling, then maybe offer Wooyoung a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to talk to, if he felt like it. But instead, he had just stared at Wooyoung once again, this time with much confusion drawn all over his features. Nichkhun told himself, he’d ask Wooyoung the next day. The next day it is.
But then, Wooyoung never showed up the next day. Or the day after. Or the day after that. Nichkhun sat through painful days of wondering, and waiting for Wooyoung to walk through the cafe doors. But instead, he was always just greeted by the usual array of customers, none as adorable as Wooyoung, or as intriguing.
It was 2 weeks before Wooyoung’s next visit. 14 days of pure torture. 336 hours of living in black and white. 20160 minutes without his only source of happiness.
When Nichkhun first looked up and spotted Wooyoung walking into the store, his heart almost exploded from sheer relief that Wooyoung was here again. That he was actually standing right before his eyes, and that for the first time in 2 weeks, Nichkhun wouldn’t be leaving the cafe with his heart in the pit of his stomach from the shattering disappointment of not seeing Wooyoung’s face, or hearing his voice.
But then, when Wooyoung walked closer to the counter, Nichkhun couldn’t help but notice that his condition was only worsening. Since Nichkhun last saw him, his face had grown more pallid, his eyes sunken clearly reflecting the lack of sleep, his frame growing smaller, a sure sign that he had lost a lot of weight and his shoulders were slumped from exhaustion.
Just as Nichkhun was about to greet Wooyoung, another customer who was in a rush to leave the cafe had inadvertently walked right into Wooyoung, spilling his cup of apple juice all over Wooyoung‘s right sleeve. Wooyoung froze in his place as the customer apologised profusely, repeating multiple times that he was very sorry and that he was running late for a job interview and he hadn’t meant to walk into Wooyoung. Wooyoung nodded understandingly, his gaze still mostly fixated on the ground before the clumsy customer shouted ‘sorry’ once again as he ran out of the cafe, leaving Wooyoung standing there with the right side of his shirt now drenched in apple juice.
Without giving it a second thought, Nichkhun ran from behind the counter towards Wooyoung’s side. ‘Please let me help you with that,’ Nichkhun explained as he gently pulled Wooyoung towards the room in the back of the cafe that was reserved for the staff. ‘I have a few spare t-shirt’s that you can use in the mean time,’ Nichkhun helpfully offered as Wooyoung followed him without any resistance, letting Nichkhun walk him into the room. Once they were both in the room, Nichkhun sat Wooyoung down on one of the chairs before he approached his locker. Nichkhun took his time finding the t-shirt, half expecting (or half hoping) that maybe Wooyoung would start a conversation with him, or at least just say something so that Nichkhun would gain some confidence and be able to casually converse with Wooyoung. But instead, the entire time Nichkhun spent rummaging through his locker, Wooyoung remained silent, face crestfallen, and his eyes now staring into space.
‘Here you go. I hope this fits you well,’ Nichkhun shyly said as he passed the t-shirt to Wooyoung. Just from those few simple words, Nichkhun could feel his ears turning red, and his heart thumping furiously, reminding himself that he was talking to the boy of his dreams.
‘Thank you very much Nichkhun,’ Wooyoung replied in return, stretching his arms to retrieve the t-shirt from Nichkhun’s grasp. If Nichkhun’s eyes weren’t deceiving him, he thought for a second that he had spotted a glimpse of an appreciative smile forming on Wooyoung’s face.
‘Wait a minute, you know my name? How?’ Nichkhun expressed his thoughts aloud, as his mouth gaped wide in surprise at the sudden realisation. On his part, Nichkhun had Junho to thank for the fact that he knew Wooyoung’s name. Because Nichkhun had always been too shy to ask, he had to sneakily find out by eavesdropping on one of their conversations. The first time he heard Junho call out Wooyoung’s name, he found himself grinning like a lovesick fool for the rest of the week because finally he could put a name to that handsome face that always visited him in his dreams.
‘Err, from your nametag?’ Wooyoung answered as a sheepish smile graced his features, probably an attempt at keeping himself from chuckling at Nichkhun’s apparent foolishness.
If Nichkhun’s ears had been red before, it must have caught fire by now along with his entire face. He wanted nothing more than to burrow himself into a hole deep in the ground and not have to face Wooyoung for a couple of months at least. How stupid must he look to Wooyoung right about now? But Nichkhun realised if that’s what it took to put a smile on Wooyoung’s face then why not. He’d embarrass himself on a daily basis if necessary; anything to return the glint of joy back into Wooyoung’s eyes.
Nichkhun thought that now was probably the time, so he took his chance albeit with a bated breath, ‘I was just wondering, is everything okay with you?’ he asked.
And just as quickly as the small smile had come, it disappeared in an instant. Wooyoung’s expression fell, and the gloom had returned. If Nichkhun had regretted anything in his life, him uttering those words had just surpassed every single idiotic thing he had said in his entire lifetime. How could he have been stupid enough to dive right into something so heavy, and so personal? Especially since to Wooyoung he was just a stranger, just the guy at the cafe he frequents, just another face in the crowd, just another nobody.
Instead of answering Nichkhun’s question, Wooyoung just turned around before he proceeded to slowly pull the t-shirt that he was wearing over his head in order to change. Nichkhun was considering turning around as well in order to give Wooyoung some privacy, but instead, his eyes were glued onto Wooyoung’s back. Wooyoung’s milky skin had been tainted by a tattoo of an eerie looking skull, which was surrounded by bright red fiery flames; and it covered his entire back. The tattoo was still red and swollen in some areas and so he could tell that Wooyoung most likely got it very recently. Nichkhun knew it was rude to stare, especially when the said person was in the middle of changing, but he couldn’t help himself. Nichkhun wasn’t a prude, so it wasn’t that he was against tattoos or anything. It was just the fact that the tattoo evoked so much fear in him that for a split second he forgot that this was Wooyoung that he was looking at. His Wooyoung.
As Nichkhun’s mind was still reeling from shock, Wooyoung slipped on the t-shirt that Nichkhun had passed to him earlier, and muttering a soft ‘thank you’ he quickly walked out of the staff room, not bothering to turn around to say goodbye. Once again, Nichkhun was left staring at Wooyoung’s back as he walked away, unsure when he would be able to see the boy again.
This time however, the wait wasn’t as long or as agonising as the one Nichkhun had to sit through the previous time. Maybe his heart was a little more conditioned to the new circumstances, or maybe after their last encounter, Nichkhun was slowly learning that his chances with Wooyoung were almost non-existent. Nichkhun had made an active effort to remind his heart to stop playing games with him. Every waking moment of his day when the thought of Wooyoung would cross his mind, he’d remind his heart to stop saying Wooyoung’s name with every heartbeat. His heart needed to return back to the days when it went thump - thump.
But when Wooyoung walked into the cafe late one night, his heart immediately forgot the arrangement that they had come to. His heart betrayed him. Woo-Young was the tune it sang to once again.
It was almost 11pm, and that marked the time for the cafe to close. So when Wooyoung walked in, it took Nichkhun by much surprise. Wooyoung never dropped by this late before. But upon closer inspection, it almost looked as though Wooyoung hadn’t planned to even drop by.
Eyes.
Wooyoung’s eyes were glazed over with fear, and beads of sweat were slowly running down the sides of his face. Wooyoung’s chest was heaving up and down as he bent forward resting his palms on one of the tables as a temporary source of support as he tried to catch his breath. Befuddled, Nichkhun just watched and waited for Wooyoung to say something; possibly explain why he had been running so late at night, or why he looked as though he had been chased by a ghost. Just anything, because Nichkhun had been grasping at straws lately when it came to Wooyoung, and he didn’t want to risk asking anything for fear that Wooyoung would walk out of the cafe and never return ever again.
‘YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING SON OF A BITCH!’ a loud shout reverberated throughout the entire cafe as the doors to the cafe swung wide open, almost making Nichkhun’s heart leap out of his body from sheer shock.
Nichkhun abruptly turned towards the source of the shout and found a man probably in his mid 30s standing at the door of the cafe; his face red as his expressions contorted with rage. Nichkhun followed the direction of his livid gaze and found Wooyoung whose shoulders were slumped in defeat, his eyes cast down trying to avoid making proper eye contact with the sudden uninvited guest. Realising Wooyoung’s instant discomfort, Nichkhun was just about to make his way out from behind the counter in order to ask the angry man to leave the cafe.
‘It’s okay Nichkhun, I’ll bring him out of the cafe with me,’ Wooyoung softly mumbled, voice groggy from exhaustion.
Before Nichkhun could protest, Wooyoung walked towards the man and told him that they’d just speak outside the cafe instead. Nichkhun watched with much apprehension as Wooyoung stepped out of the cafe with the man before Wooyoung was promptly shoved against the display window. The man then grabbed Wooyoung by the collar and slowly lifted him up off the floor whilst he shouted at Wooyoung. Unfortunately from where Nichkhun stood, he couldn’t catch even a word that the man was shouting to Wooyoung. Thinking that he’d finally seen enough, Nichkhun ran towards the door of the cafe in order to help Wooyoung in any way possible.
‘JUST DO IT RIGHT NEXT TIME YOU PIECE OF TRASH’.
Those were the exact words that Nichkhun heard as he opened the door to the cafe. But immediately after bellowing those words, the man dropped Wooyoung harshly on the floor and smugly smirked in Nichkhun’s direction before he quickly ran off before Nichkhun or anyone else could have done anything in return.
‘Oh my god Wooyoung, are you okay?’ Nichkhun asked, concern clearly lacing each and every word. He offered his right hand to Wooyoung, in hopes that the boy would at least grab a hold of it in order to get back on his feet.
‘Don’t worry. I’m perfectly fine. Just pretend none of this ever happened okay,’ Wooyoung asked, although it did end up sounding more like a plea as opposed to a request. But knowing just how exhausted Wooyoung was, Nichkhun just dropped the subject, showing Wooyoung that he had at least learned a lesson from their previous encounter.
Without taking Nichkhun’s hand, Wooyoung got up on his own accord and wordlessly started to slowly walk away from Nichkhun.
‘This scene of watching Wooyoung walk away is slowly beginning to become the story of my life’ Nichkhun thought, as he sighed at his pathetic self. But despite his efforts at telling himself to just mind his own business; he couldn’t ignore the dangerous mixture of concern and curiosity that was gnawing at his brains.
Why was Wooyoung running away from that man?
What did the guy mean by just do it right the next time?
What was Wooyoung up to before coming to the cafe?
Why was Wooyoung being so unnecessarily cold towards him?
Would Wooyoung really be okay?
What if the man decide to come back?
Should I follow him?
Well, that last thought clearly prompted Nichkhun into immediate action. He took out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and texted Taecyeon, his colleague who was working the shift with him, apologising that he wouldn’t be able to help with the closing up of the cafe tonight because something urgent had happened to a friend. Nichkhun knew calling Wooyoung his ‘friend’ was a bit of stretch considering their current circumstances but what else was he supposed to say?
Once he sent the text, he hastily looked up in order to make sure that he hadn’t lost track of Wooyoung. Luckily, since the boy had been dragging his feet slowly, Nichkhun didn’t have much trouble catching up with him. But Nichkhun still mindfully left a gap of at least 8m between them so that Wooyoung wouldn’t realise that he was being followed. After about 5 minutes of trailing Wooyoung who was walking lifelessly much like a zombie, Nichkhun watched as Wooyoung turned right and walked straight into a club.
Of all places Wooyoung had to walk into, it was a club, on a Friday night. Another sigh escaped from Nichkhun’s lips. He really wasn’t a fan of the noise but since he had already committed himself to finding out more about Wooyoung’s situation, he walked into the club, silently thanking god that this morning he had decided to put on a nice crisp shirt. So that even though he felt completely out of place, he at least didn’t look the part.
As expected for a Friday night, the club was packed full of people looking for a way to relieve the stresses of the week, most of the women already staring at Nichkhun with lusty lidded gazes as he tried to walk past them. Everyone reeked of the stench of alcohol and perspiration and Nichkhun for a moment regretted his rash decision to follow Wooyoung. As Wooyoung grabbed a stool at the bar and ordered a drink, Nichkhun tried to find a corner of the room where he could stand and just observe Wooyoung from afar and also hopefully avoid being rubbed against or being groped at by unsavoury hands.
10th shot. It was already Wooyoung’s 10th shot of vodka. And Wooyoung wasnt even drinking slowly, he would just down each shot and then quickly request for another one. By the 5th one, Nichkhun was sure that Wooyoung was just desperate to get wasted. But by the 10th one, Nichkhun was starting to worry whether Wooyoung just wanted to kill himself.
Eyes.
‘Wooyoung ah, I think that’s enough,’ Nichkhun said as he gently patted Wooyoung’s left shoulder. Wooyoung turned to his direction, his eyes glassy and glistening with tears, already somewhat bloodshot from crying. Wooyoung’s eyes reflected just how much suffering the boy was going through, it was as though Wooyoung was crying out for help just by the look in his eyes. But the moment Nichkhun tried to carry him off the stool so that they could leave the club, Wooyoung weakly shoved him away, clearly too drunk to do it with any conviction.
‘Just stay away from me please,’
‘I’ll just take you home okay,’ Nichkhun explained gently, not wanting to annoy Wooyoung or upset him any further.
‘NO! JUST GO AWAY!’ Wooyoung was raising his voice now, but luckily since the club was thumping with music, no one else really picked up on it.
‘Why Wooyoung?’ Nichkhun desperately asked hoping that for once Wooyoung would just cooperate with him. The last thing he would do was to hurt Wooyoung, but yet Wooyoung seemed adamant to stay as far away from him as possible.
‘You don’t want to know. Just stay away from me,’ Wooyoung mumbled, weakly pushing Nichkhun’s arms away from his shoulders before he reached for another shot glass.
Nichkhun pulled the shot glass away from Wooyoung’s hands and placed it beyond Wooyoung’s reach, ensuring that 10 shots of vodka was all Wooyoung would be having tonight. Evidently annoyed by Nichkhun’s persistence, Wooyoung slumped his shoulders in defeat and got off the stool, almost losing his balance before Nichkhun managed to catch him by his arms. With Nichkhun’s help, Wooyoung managed to safely make his way out of the club.
‘Let me get you a cab Wooyoung ah, what’s your address?’
Ignoring Nichkhun completely, Wooyoung drunkenly stumbled his way into a small alley next to the club, using the walls as a support.
‘Wooyoung! Will you just listen to me for once!’ Nichkhun’s impatience was growing and he could no longer deal with Wooyoung’s stubbornness, so he grabbed Wooyoung by his shoulders and pushed him roughly against the wall, holding him in place so that Wooyoung wouldn’t be able to walk away from him anymore. He had grown tired of seeing Wooyoung walk away from him. He needed Wooyoung to speak to him, to tell him what was going on. He needed Wooyoung to be okay again, he desperately wanted the warmth to return to Wooyoung’s eyes.
Wooyoung tried to resist at first, but realising that Nichkhun could easily overpower his strength, Wooyoung gave up before he suddenly broke down into tears, catching Nichkhun by surprise.
‘Please stay away from me. All I do is hurt other people’ Wooyoung sobbed. Nichkhun could almost hear his heart shattering into a million pieces as he watched Wooyoung weakly grab hold of the hems of Nichkhun’s shirt, tugging it as he cried.
‘No Wooyoung. Look at me. Trust me about this okay. You’re not like that. I’ve known you for a long time and you’re not that sort of person. Just stop crying Wooyoung ah.’
Hearing the words leaving Nichkhun’s lips, Wooyoung seemed to break down even more, his tears falling faster and his face flushed a darker shade of red as he sobbed harder, almost wailing at times.
‘No one knows me anymore. Even I don’t recognise myself anymore’ Wooyoung explained in between sobs.
Not knowing what else to do in the situation, Nichkhun pulled Wooyoung into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back hoping to calm the boy down. Hoping that the boy would at least feel better after letting all of his frustrations out.
‘You’ll be alright Wooyoung. Trust me.’
‘How am I ever going to be alright? My dad just died recently.’
Nichkhun took a few seconds to let those words sink in. He had no idea what to say in this sort of situation. What would you say to someone who had just lost someone close to their hearts?
‘And Nichkhun, I’m a murderer. I’ve killed some people. How do I live with myself?’
~~~~~
Nichkhun dropped his bag on the floor of his bedroom, his brain still reeling from disbelief. His mind replaying Wooyoung’s words like a dysfunctional tape on repeat.
‘I’m a murderer’
‘I’m a murderer’
‘I’m a murderer’
Nichkhun could almost feel shivers down his spine. He crashed onto his bed and burrowed his face into his pillow, wanting to figure out a way to flush those words out of his system; anything so that he would be able to think clearly once again.
But just as Nichkhun tried to distract himself with other thoughts, the eerie image of Wooyoung’s tattoo flashed before his eyes. Maybe that tattoo meant something?
Without giving it another thought, or without realising the time, Nichkhun grabbed his phone and immediately called Chansung. Chansung’s father was a police officer whose main area of expertise involved the workings of underground gangs. Maybe Chansung would know something?
‘Khun hyung, whats up? why are you calling at this hour?’ Chansung asked the moment he answered the phone.
‘I’m sorry Chansung ah, but its urgent. Do you know what a tattoo of a big scary looking skull surrounded by bright red flames means?
‘Skull with red flames? That sounds somewhat familiar. Oh god, now I remember. Members of the Phoenix usually sport them on their backs. Why hyung?’ Chansung asked clearly surprised by Nichkhun’s sudden question.
‘Phoenix you say? What do these people do?’
‘They’re a gang of hitmen or hired assassins. They’ve actually been around for a really long time and they have all these weird rules in their system. My dad told me recently that it’s actually a lifetime commitment of some sort. And once you die, your first son will have to take over. If anyone tries to leave the gang, they would be killed immediately.’
Chansung’s words hit him like a bus and Nichkhun could almost feel his soul leaving his body. Oh god. As though Nichkhun’s mind had been busy trying to piece a puzzle into place, everything finally made sense.
Oh god.
Wooyoung had been forced to become a hitman too after his father’s death.
Oh god.
His Wooyoung.
‘Hyung? Hyung? Are you still there?’ Chansung’s voice brought Nichkhun back to reality. The harsh reality that he was being faced with.
‘Chansung ah, do you know where their hideout is at?’ Nichkhun requested, hoping against hope that Chansung wouldn’t probe him about why he is suddenly asking one too many questions about the Phoenix gang.
‘Yes of course I know where it is. But why do you want to know hyung?’ Chansung asked, rightfully, just as he dreaded.
‘As a friend can you just do your hyung a favour? No questions. Just tell me where it is?’
~~~~~
Nichkhun walked to the address, finding himself in front of the gate to a huge white mansion, with a security guard waiting by the door. After watching one too many mafia movies, Nichkhun expected himself to be standing outside a shabby rundown warehouse, guarded by dogs. But instead the Phoenix hideout almost looked like the residence of the President of the United States.
Just before he pressed the bell, Nichkhun contemplated his life once again, knowing full well that once he enters the house, there wasn’t a way out of it. Ever.
But then images of Wooyoung came to his mind. The old Wooyoung; the one who used to walk into the cafe without a care in the world, the one who would sit down and spend hours drawing by the window, the one who would squint his tiny beady eyes as he concentrated on fixing his drawings, the one who’s laughter would always eached the corner of his eyes. That Wooyoung. His Wooyoung.
There was nothing in this world that Nichkhun wouldn’t do to bring that Wooyoung back.
~~~~~
Wooyoung walks into his house tired, exhausted, depressed. He looked down to be greeted by a letter engraved with the Phoenix logo before feeling his stomach churning once again making him feel nauseated. Every time he was given a new assignment, Wooyoung spent days without eating because he knew that whatever he swallowed would just come straight back out of his system, and he would end up spending hours vomiting. So he learned that he might as well avoid food altogether.
Wooyoung unwillingly opened the envelope to read the content of the letter, waiting to find out who his next victim was going to be. Whose face was going to be the one that haunted him for the next few nights, grabbing a tight hold of him and never letting him get even a minute of sleep.
‘Dear Mr Jang Wooyoung,
Phoenix no longer needs your services. We have found a willing replacement for your role. ‘
Wooyoung couldn’t believe his eyes. He kept re-reading the letter again and again until he could feel tears brimming in his eyes from sheer relief. Was this real? With the letter in his hand, Wooyoung ran right out of the door and towards the cafe, knowing exactly who he wanted to see at that point in time.
All his mind kept chanting was ‘Nichkhun! Find Nichkhun now!’
As Wooyoung ran, he could feel all the burden that had been piled up on his shoulders for the past few weeks dissipate quickly. The air smelled like roses, and cinnamon, and vanilla ice cream and everything that was on Wooyoung’s favourite list. He could feel his cheeks burning from the smile that had been plastered on his face ever since he read the letter. He would get his old life back.
Turning the corner he walks into the cafe expecting to be greeted by Nichkhun’s warm smile in return. Or his shy round eyes, blinking cutely at him.
But instead, all Wooyoung found was the other guy, Taecyeon.
‘Where’s Nichkhun?’ Wooyoung asked.
‘He just quit today man. I have no idea why. All he did was ask me to pass this letter to you and then he left the cafe without saying anything else’ Taecyeon explained before he passed the letter in his hands to Wooyoung.
Shivering, Wooyoung grabbed the envelope. He had no idea why, but he had an ominous feeling sitting at the base of his stomach. Suddenly, the words ‘willing replacement’ that he had read in the letter earlier rang clear in his ears.
Opening Nichkhun’s letter, Wooyoung could feel tears slowly streaming down his face.
‘Dear Wooyoung,
I hope you can wake up every day happier now.
Please always take care of your health. Make sure you don’t catch a cold. Maybe try another of one our drinks instead of always having the mocha frappucino? I would highly recommend the sweet Americano! It’s one of my favourites.
And Wooyoung, most importantly, always smile.
And remember that you have the most beautiful eyes in this entire world.
Always yours,
Nichkhun’
Main Characters: Nichkhun, Wooyoung
Pairing: Khunyoung
Warnings: Suggestions of violence/murder, some vulgarities
Word Count: 5,116 words
Prompt 1: I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won/I don't care if heaven won't take me back ('Angel With A Shotgun' by The Cab)
Prompt 2: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxo4fy3Ao61r8xqp1o1_500.jpg
Prompt 3: Scrutiny
Eyes.
Wooyoung’s eyes spoke volumes to Nichkhun. His eyes were a window to his soul and Nichkhun had learned so much just by swimming in them whenever he could. When Nichkhun first met Wooyoung, his eyes spoke of warmth, joy, innocence, contentment with a sparkle of mischief. And when their eyes met, even for the briefest of moments Nichkhun gained much strength. He took great pleasure from the fleeting moments when his heart felt cradled by the warmth emanating from Wooyoung’s eyes. And with every meeting, Nichkhun had inevitably fallen deeper and deeper.
Wooyoung would come into the cafe every day, walking in at 7pm on Monday through to Thursday, and then at 6pm for the rest of the week. He’d casually walk towards the counter, say a polite hello to Nichkhun, and then he’d order a Mocha Frappucino before heading to the table by the window. If Nichkhun was lucky, he would get a soft smile from Wooyoung. But even when Wooyoung didn’t smile, his eyes would still gleam with warmth and kindness.
Occasionally Wooyoung would bring a friend along, a blonde haired boy, Junho, who would sit opposite him. The two of them would animatedly talk about life while Nichkhun watched from the counter, allowing himself to take in Wooyoung’s every expression and gesture. And when Wooyoung laughed, Nichkhun wished there was a pause button in his life. He would want nothing more than to be able to bask in the music that was Wooyoung’s laughter for hours on end.
On other days, Wooyoung would just sit alone, contented with his ipad as a companion. He would browse the news or occasionally indulge in some drawing. On those days, Nichkhun would play a guessing game with himself. He would always try and guess the news story that Wooyoung was engrossed in from the expressions that he was making. Usually, if the news story was particularly disconcerting, Wooyoung’s eyebrows would furrow in deep worry and he would softly shake his head in disapproval, sometimes even sighing out loud to express his discontent. On the other hand, if he was reading football news, he’d occasionally take out his phone, to triumphantly text a friend to gloat about his favourite football team winning a recent match as a smug smile would find itself etching on his face.
Nichkhun always told himself that one day, on the perfect day, he’d finally try and make conversation with Wooyoung; something more than the usual hello’s and thank you’s. But unfortunately whenever Wooyoung walks into the cafe, Nichkhun’s confidence always faltered, and all he was capable of was making coffee. The situation was so dire that his vocal cords couldn’t even cooperate long enough for him to be capable of making any form of small talk; not even kindergarten levels of conversation about the weather. Sometimes when he’s back home in the comfort of his own bed, he would contemplate and reminisce about the day’s meeting with Wooyoung, and all Nichkhun was sure about was the fact that Wooyoung must be convinced that he was a socially awkward weirdo or something.
But regardless of his failures in making conversation with Wooyoung, Nichkhun was more than contented to be in his mere presence. Every day Wooyoung walks through the cafe door, Nichkhun would silently thank god for granting his wishes again; for allowing his angel to walk though those doors. Just his smile alone brought much joy to Nichkhun’s otherwise monotonous life. Nichkhun had found happiness in Wooyoung and a daily dose of Wooyoung’s warmth was all Nichkhun needed.
And then one day it changed. The warmth was gone.
Eyes.
Wooyoung’s eyes were dull, hollow, completely void of life even. Just blank and slightly dark. Nichkhun had managed to hold his gaze for 2 seconds before the boy quickly turned away and instead of the usual warmth that Nichkhun would indulge in, this time Nichkhun was only greeted by chills down his spine. It was completely unchartered territory and Nichkhun was truly perplexed as to the best way to respond to the boy’s despondent state. He knew that it would have been polite to just ask the boy whether he was feeling okay but then again, from Wooyoung’s body language Nichkhun was confident that he wasn’t in the mood to talk. As Nichkhun was mulling over his options, Wooyoung picked up his coffee and instead of going to his usual table, hastily walked straight out of the cafe, not even turning back once to say goodbye.
For once, Nichkhun really regretted the fact that he hadn’t managed to strike a conversation with Wooyoung. All he needed to do was to ask Wooyoung how he was feeling, then maybe offer Wooyoung a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to talk to, if he felt like it. But instead, he had just stared at Wooyoung once again, this time with much confusion drawn all over his features. Nichkhun told himself, he’d ask Wooyoung the next day. The next day it is.
But then, Wooyoung never showed up the next day. Or the day after. Or the day after that. Nichkhun sat through painful days of wondering, and waiting for Wooyoung to walk through the cafe doors. But instead, he was always just greeted by the usual array of customers, none as adorable as Wooyoung, or as intriguing.
It was 2 weeks before Wooyoung’s next visit. 14 days of pure torture. 336 hours of living in black and white. 20160 minutes without his only source of happiness.
When Nichkhun first looked up and spotted Wooyoung walking into the store, his heart almost exploded from sheer relief that Wooyoung was here again. That he was actually standing right before his eyes, and that for the first time in 2 weeks, Nichkhun wouldn’t be leaving the cafe with his heart in the pit of his stomach from the shattering disappointment of not seeing Wooyoung’s face, or hearing his voice.
But then, when Wooyoung walked closer to the counter, Nichkhun couldn’t help but notice that his condition was only worsening. Since Nichkhun last saw him, his face had grown more pallid, his eyes sunken clearly reflecting the lack of sleep, his frame growing smaller, a sure sign that he had lost a lot of weight and his shoulders were slumped from exhaustion.
Just as Nichkhun was about to greet Wooyoung, another customer who was in a rush to leave the cafe had inadvertently walked right into Wooyoung, spilling his cup of apple juice all over Wooyoung‘s right sleeve. Wooyoung froze in his place as the customer apologised profusely, repeating multiple times that he was very sorry and that he was running late for a job interview and he hadn’t meant to walk into Wooyoung. Wooyoung nodded understandingly, his gaze still mostly fixated on the ground before the clumsy customer shouted ‘sorry’ once again as he ran out of the cafe, leaving Wooyoung standing there with the right side of his shirt now drenched in apple juice.
Without giving it a second thought, Nichkhun ran from behind the counter towards Wooyoung’s side. ‘Please let me help you with that,’ Nichkhun explained as he gently pulled Wooyoung towards the room in the back of the cafe that was reserved for the staff. ‘I have a few spare t-shirt’s that you can use in the mean time,’ Nichkhun helpfully offered as Wooyoung followed him without any resistance, letting Nichkhun walk him into the room. Once they were both in the room, Nichkhun sat Wooyoung down on one of the chairs before he approached his locker. Nichkhun took his time finding the t-shirt, half expecting (or half hoping) that maybe Wooyoung would start a conversation with him, or at least just say something so that Nichkhun would gain some confidence and be able to casually converse with Wooyoung. But instead, the entire time Nichkhun spent rummaging through his locker, Wooyoung remained silent, face crestfallen, and his eyes now staring into space.
‘Here you go. I hope this fits you well,’ Nichkhun shyly said as he passed the t-shirt to Wooyoung. Just from those few simple words, Nichkhun could feel his ears turning red, and his heart thumping furiously, reminding himself that he was talking to the boy of his dreams.
‘Thank you very much Nichkhun,’ Wooyoung replied in return, stretching his arms to retrieve the t-shirt from Nichkhun’s grasp. If Nichkhun’s eyes weren’t deceiving him, he thought for a second that he had spotted a glimpse of an appreciative smile forming on Wooyoung’s face.
‘Wait a minute, you know my name? How?’ Nichkhun expressed his thoughts aloud, as his mouth gaped wide in surprise at the sudden realisation. On his part, Nichkhun had Junho to thank for the fact that he knew Wooyoung’s name. Because Nichkhun had always been too shy to ask, he had to sneakily find out by eavesdropping on one of their conversations. The first time he heard Junho call out Wooyoung’s name, he found himself grinning like a lovesick fool for the rest of the week because finally he could put a name to that handsome face that always visited him in his dreams.
‘Err, from your nametag?’ Wooyoung answered as a sheepish smile graced his features, probably an attempt at keeping himself from chuckling at Nichkhun’s apparent foolishness.
If Nichkhun’s ears had been red before, it must have caught fire by now along with his entire face. He wanted nothing more than to burrow himself into a hole deep in the ground and not have to face Wooyoung for a couple of months at least. How stupid must he look to Wooyoung right about now? But Nichkhun realised if that’s what it took to put a smile on Wooyoung’s face then why not. He’d embarrass himself on a daily basis if necessary; anything to return the glint of joy back into Wooyoung’s eyes.
Nichkhun thought that now was probably the time, so he took his chance albeit with a bated breath, ‘I was just wondering, is everything okay with you?’ he asked.
And just as quickly as the small smile had come, it disappeared in an instant. Wooyoung’s expression fell, and the gloom had returned. If Nichkhun had regretted anything in his life, him uttering those words had just surpassed every single idiotic thing he had said in his entire lifetime. How could he have been stupid enough to dive right into something so heavy, and so personal? Especially since to Wooyoung he was just a stranger, just the guy at the cafe he frequents, just another face in the crowd, just another nobody.
Instead of answering Nichkhun’s question, Wooyoung just turned around before he proceeded to slowly pull the t-shirt that he was wearing over his head in order to change. Nichkhun was considering turning around as well in order to give Wooyoung some privacy, but instead, his eyes were glued onto Wooyoung’s back. Wooyoung’s milky skin had been tainted by a tattoo of an eerie looking skull, which was surrounded by bright red fiery flames; and it covered his entire back. The tattoo was still red and swollen in some areas and so he could tell that Wooyoung most likely got it very recently. Nichkhun knew it was rude to stare, especially when the said person was in the middle of changing, but he couldn’t help himself. Nichkhun wasn’t a prude, so it wasn’t that he was against tattoos or anything. It was just the fact that the tattoo evoked so much fear in him that for a split second he forgot that this was Wooyoung that he was looking at. His Wooyoung.
As Nichkhun’s mind was still reeling from shock, Wooyoung slipped on the t-shirt that Nichkhun had passed to him earlier, and muttering a soft ‘thank you’ he quickly walked out of the staff room, not bothering to turn around to say goodbye. Once again, Nichkhun was left staring at Wooyoung’s back as he walked away, unsure when he would be able to see the boy again.
This time however, the wait wasn’t as long or as agonising as the one Nichkhun had to sit through the previous time. Maybe his heart was a little more conditioned to the new circumstances, or maybe after their last encounter, Nichkhun was slowly learning that his chances with Wooyoung were almost non-existent. Nichkhun had made an active effort to remind his heart to stop playing games with him. Every waking moment of his day when the thought of Wooyoung would cross his mind, he’d remind his heart to stop saying Wooyoung’s name with every heartbeat. His heart needed to return back to the days when it went thump - thump.
But when Wooyoung walked into the cafe late one night, his heart immediately forgot the arrangement that they had come to. His heart betrayed him. Woo-Young was the tune it sang to once again.
It was almost 11pm, and that marked the time for the cafe to close. So when Wooyoung walked in, it took Nichkhun by much surprise. Wooyoung never dropped by this late before. But upon closer inspection, it almost looked as though Wooyoung hadn’t planned to even drop by.
Eyes.
Wooyoung’s eyes were glazed over with fear, and beads of sweat were slowly running down the sides of his face. Wooyoung’s chest was heaving up and down as he bent forward resting his palms on one of the tables as a temporary source of support as he tried to catch his breath. Befuddled, Nichkhun just watched and waited for Wooyoung to say something; possibly explain why he had been running so late at night, or why he looked as though he had been chased by a ghost. Just anything, because Nichkhun had been grasping at straws lately when it came to Wooyoung, and he didn’t want to risk asking anything for fear that Wooyoung would walk out of the cafe and never return ever again.
‘YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING SON OF A BITCH!’ a loud shout reverberated throughout the entire cafe as the doors to the cafe swung wide open, almost making Nichkhun’s heart leap out of his body from sheer shock.
Nichkhun abruptly turned towards the source of the shout and found a man probably in his mid 30s standing at the door of the cafe; his face red as his expressions contorted with rage. Nichkhun followed the direction of his livid gaze and found Wooyoung whose shoulders were slumped in defeat, his eyes cast down trying to avoid making proper eye contact with the sudden uninvited guest. Realising Wooyoung’s instant discomfort, Nichkhun was just about to make his way out from behind the counter in order to ask the angry man to leave the cafe.
‘It’s okay Nichkhun, I’ll bring him out of the cafe with me,’ Wooyoung softly mumbled, voice groggy from exhaustion.
Before Nichkhun could protest, Wooyoung walked towards the man and told him that they’d just speak outside the cafe instead. Nichkhun watched with much apprehension as Wooyoung stepped out of the cafe with the man before Wooyoung was promptly shoved against the display window. The man then grabbed Wooyoung by the collar and slowly lifted him up off the floor whilst he shouted at Wooyoung. Unfortunately from where Nichkhun stood, he couldn’t catch even a word that the man was shouting to Wooyoung. Thinking that he’d finally seen enough, Nichkhun ran towards the door of the cafe in order to help Wooyoung in any way possible.
‘JUST DO IT RIGHT NEXT TIME YOU PIECE OF TRASH’.
Those were the exact words that Nichkhun heard as he opened the door to the cafe. But immediately after bellowing those words, the man dropped Wooyoung harshly on the floor and smugly smirked in Nichkhun’s direction before he quickly ran off before Nichkhun or anyone else could have done anything in return.
‘Oh my god Wooyoung, are you okay?’ Nichkhun asked, concern clearly lacing each and every word. He offered his right hand to Wooyoung, in hopes that the boy would at least grab a hold of it in order to get back on his feet.
‘Don’t worry. I’m perfectly fine. Just pretend none of this ever happened okay,’ Wooyoung asked, although it did end up sounding more like a plea as opposed to a request. But knowing just how exhausted Wooyoung was, Nichkhun just dropped the subject, showing Wooyoung that he had at least learned a lesson from their previous encounter.
Without taking Nichkhun’s hand, Wooyoung got up on his own accord and wordlessly started to slowly walk away from Nichkhun.
‘This scene of watching Wooyoung walk away is slowly beginning to become the story of my life’ Nichkhun thought, as he sighed at his pathetic self. But despite his efforts at telling himself to just mind his own business; he couldn’t ignore the dangerous mixture of concern and curiosity that was gnawing at his brains.
Why was Wooyoung running away from that man?
What did the guy mean by just do it right the next time?
What was Wooyoung up to before coming to the cafe?
Why was Wooyoung being so unnecessarily cold towards him?
Would Wooyoung really be okay?
What if the man decide to come back?
Should I follow him?
Well, that last thought clearly prompted Nichkhun into immediate action. He took out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and texted Taecyeon, his colleague who was working the shift with him, apologising that he wouldn’t be able to help with the closing up of the cafe tonight because something urgent had happened to a friend. Nichkhun knew calling Wooyoung his ‘friend’ was a bit of stretch considering their current circumstances but what else was he supposed to say?
Once he sent the text, he hastily looked up in order to make sure that he hadn’t lost track of Wooyoung. Luckily, since the boy had been dragging his feet slowly, Nichkhun didn’t have much trouble catching up with him. But Nichkhun still mindfully left a gap of at least 8m between them so that Wooyoung wouldn’t realise that he was being followed. After about 5 minutes of trailing Wooyoung who was walking lifelessly much like a zombie, Nichkhun watched as Wooyoung turned right and walked straight into a club.
Of all places Wooyoung had to walk into, it was a club, on a Friday night. Another sigh escaped from Nichkhun’s lips. He really wasn’t a fan of the noise but since he had already committed himself to finding out more about Wooyoung’s situation, he walked into the club, silently thanking god that this morning he had decided to put on a nice crisp shirt. So that even though he felt completely out of place, he at least didn’t look the part.
As expected for a Friday night, the club was packed full of people looking for a way to relieve the stresses of the week, most of the women already staring at Nichkhun with lusty lidded gazes as he tried to walk past them. Everyone reeked of the stench of alcohol and perspiration and Nichkhun for a moment regretted his rash decision to follow Wooyoung. As Wooyoung grabbed a stool at the bar and ordered a drink, Nichkhun tried to find a corner of the room where he could stand and just observe Wooyoung from afar and also hopefully avoid being rubbed against or being groped at by unsavoury hands.
10th shot. It was already Wooyoung’s 10th shot of vodka. And Wooyoung wasnt even drinking slowly, he would just down each shot and then quickly request for another one. By the 5th one, Nichkhun was sure that Wooyoung was just desperate to get wasted. But by the 10th one, Nichkhun was starting to worry whether Wooyoung just wanted to kill himself.
Eyes.
‘Wooyoung ah, I think that’s enough,’ Nichkhun said as he gently patted Wooyoung’s left shoulder. Wooyoung turned to his direction, his eyes glassy and glistening with tears, already somewhat bloodshot from crying. Wooyoung’s eyes reflected just how much suffering the boy was going through, it was as though Wooyoung was crying out for help just by the look in his eyes. But the moment Nichkhun tried to carry him off the stool so that they could leave the club, Wooyoung weakly shoved him away, clearly too drunk to do it with any conviction.
‘Just stay away from me please,’
‘I’ll just take you home okay,’ Nichkhun explained gently, not wanting to annoy Wooyoung or upset him any further.
‘NO! JUST GO AWAY!’ Wooyoung was raising his voice now, but luckily since the club was thumping with music, no one else really picked up on it.
‘Why Wooyoung?’ Nichkhun desperately asked hoping that for once Wooyoung would just cooperate with him. The last thing he would do was to hurt Wooyoung, but yet Wooyoung seemed adamant to stay as far away from him as possible.
‘You don’t want to know. Just stay away from me,’ Wooyoung mumbled, weakly pushing Nichkhun’s arms away from his shoulders before he reached for another shot glass.
Nichkhun pulled the shot glass away from Wooyoung’s hands and placed it beyond Wooyoung’s reach, ensuring that 10 shots of vodka was all Wooyoung would be having tonight. Evidently annoyed by Nichkhun’s persistence, Wooyoung slumped his shoulders in defeat and got off the stool, almost losing his balance before Nichkhun managed to catch him by his arms. With Nichkhun’s help, Wooyoung managed to safely make his way out of the club.
‘Let me get you a cab Wooyoung ah, what’s your address?’
Ignoring Nichkhun completely, Wooyoung drunkenly stumbled his way into a small alley next to the club, using the walls as a support.
‘Wooyoung! Will you just listen to me for once!’ Nichkhun’s impatience was growing and he could no longer deal with Wooyoung’s stubbornness, so he grabbed Wooyoung by his shoulders and pushed him roughly against the wall, holding him in place so that Wooyoung wouldn’t be able to walk away from him anymore. He had grown tired of seeing Wooyoung walk away from him. He needed Wooyoung to speak to him, to tell him what was going on. He needed Wooyoung to be okay again, he desperately wanted the warmth to return to Wooyoung’s eyes.
Wooyoung tried to resist at first, but realising that Nichkhun could easily overpower his strength, Wooyoung gave up before he suddenly broke down into tears, catching Nichkhun by surprise.
‘Please stay away from me. All I do is hurt other people’ Wooyoung sobbed. Nichkhun could almost hear his heart shattering into a million pieces as he watched Wooyoung weakly grab hold of the hems of Nichkhun’s shirt, tugging it as he cried.
‘No Wooyoung. Look at me. Trust me about this okay. You’re not like that. I’ve known you for a long time and you’re not that sort of person. Just stop crying Wooyoung ah.’
Hearing the words leaving Nichkhun’s lips, Wooyoung seemed to break down even more, his tears falling faster and his face flushed a darker shade of red as he sobbed harder, almost wailing at times.
‘No one knows me anymore. Even I don’t recognise myself anymore’ Wooyoung explained in between sobs.
Not knowing what else to do in the situation, Nichkhun pulled Wooyoung into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back hoping to calm the boy down. Hoping that the boy would at least feel better after letting all of his frustrations out.
‘You’ll be alright Wooyoung. Trust me.’
‘How am I ever going to be alright? My dad just died recently.’
Nichkhun took a few seconds to let those words sink in. He had no idea what to say in this sort of situation. What would you say to someone who had just lost someone close to their hearts?
‘And Nichkhun, I’m a murderer. I’ve killed some people. How do I live with myself?’
~~~~~
Nichkhun dropped his bag on the floor of his bedroom, his brain still reeling from disbelief. His mind replaying Wooyoung’s words like a dysfunctional tape on repeat.
‘I’m a murderer’
‘I’m a murderer’
‘I’m a murderer’
Nichkhun could almost feel shivers down his spine. He crashed onto his bed and burrowed his face into his pillow, wanting to figure out a way to flush those words out of his system; anything so that he would be able to think clearly once again.
But just as Nichkhun tried to distract himself with other thoughts, the eerie image of Wooyoung’s tattoo flashed before his eyes. Maybe that tattoo meant something?
Without giving it another thought, or without realising the time, Nichkhun grabbed his phone and immediately called Chansung. Chansung’s father was a police officer whose main area of expertise involved the workings of underground gangs. Maybe Chansung would know something?
‘Khun hyung, whats up? why are you calling at this hour?’ Chansung asked the moment he answered the phone.
‘I’m sorry Chansung ah, but its urgent. Do you know what a tattoo of a big scary looking skull surrounded by bright red flames means?
‘Skull with red flames? That sounds somewhat familiar. Oh god, now I remember. Members of the Phoenix usually sport them on their backs. Why hyung?’ Chansung asked clearly surprised by Nichkhun’s sudden question.
‘Phoenix you say? What do these people do?’
‘They’re a gang of hitmen or hired assassins. They’ve actually been around for a really long time and they have all these weird rules in their system. My dad told me recently that it’s actually a lifetime commitment of some sort. And once you die, your first son will have to take over. If anyone tries to leave the gang, they would be killed immediately.’
Chansung’s words hit him like a bus and Nichkhun could almost feel his soul leaving his body. Oh god. As though Nichkhun’s mind had been busy trying to piece a puzzle into place, everything finally made sense.
Oh god.
Wooyoung had been forced to become a hitman too after his father’s death.
Oh god.
His Wooyoung.
‘Hyung? Hyung? Are you still there?’ Chansung’s voice brought Nichkhun back to reality. The harsh reality that he was being faced with.
‘Chansung ah, do you know where their hideout is at?’ Nichkhun requested, hoping against hope that Chansung wouldn’t probe him about why he is suddenly asking one too many questions about the Phoenix gang.
‘Yes of course I know where it is. But why do you want to know hyung?’ Chansung asked, rightfully, just as he dreaded.
‘As a friend can you just do your hyung a favour? No questions. Just tell me where it is?’
~~~~~
Nichkhun walked to the address, finding himself in front of the gate to a huge white mansion, with a security guard waiting by the door. After watching one too many mafia movies, Nichkhun expected himself to be standing outside a shabby rundown warehouse, guarded by dogs. But instead the Phoenix hideout almost looked like the residence of the President of the United States.
Just before he pressed the bell, Nichkhun contemplated his life once again, knowing full well that once he enters the house, there wasn’t a way out of it. Ever.
But then images of Wooyoung came to his mind. The old Wooyoung; the one who used to walk into the cafe without a care in the world, the one who would sit down and spend hours drawing by the window, the one who would squint his tiny beady eyes as he concentrated on fixing his drawings, the one who’s laughter would always eached the corner of his eyes. That Wooyoung. His Wooyoung.
There was nothing in this world that Nichkhun wouldn’t do to bring that Wooyoung back.
~~~~~
Wooyoung walks into his house tired, exhausted, depressed. He looked down to be greeted by a letter engraved with the Phoenix logo before feeling his stomach churning once again making him feel nauseated. Every time he was given a new assignment, Wooyoung spent days without eating because he knew that whatever he swallowed would just come straight back out of his system, and he would end up spending hours vomiting. So he learned that he might as well avoid food altogether.
Wooyoung unwillingly opened the envelope to read the content of the letter, waiting to find out who his next victim was going to be. Whose face was going to be the one that haunted him for the next few nights, grabbing a tight hold of him and never letting him get even a minute of sleep.
‘Dear Mr Jang Wooyoung,
Phoenix no longer needs your services. We have found a willing replacement for your role. ‘
Wooyoung couldn’t believe his eyes. He kept re-reading the letter again and again until he could feel tears brimming in his eyes from sheer relief. Was this real? With the letter in his hand, Wooyoung ran right out of the door and towards the cafe, knowing exactly who he wanted to see at that point in time.
All his mind kept chanting was ‘Nichkhun! Find Nichkhun now!’
As Wooyoung ran, he could feel all the burden that had been piled up on his shoulders for the past few weeks dissipate quickly. The air smelled like roses, and cinnamon, and vanilla ice cream and everything that was on Wooyoung’s favourite list. He could feel his cheeks burning from the smile that had been plastered on his face ever since he read the letter. He would get his old life back.
Turning the corner he walks into the cafe expecting to be greeted by Nichkhun’s warm smile in return. Or his shy round eyes, blinking cutely at him.
But instead, all Wooyoung found was the other guy, Taecyeon.
‘Where’s Nichkhun?’ Wooyoung asked.
‘He just quit today man. I have no idea why. All he did was ask me to pass this letter to you and then he left the cafe without saying anything else’ Taecyeon explained before he passed the letter in his hands to Wooyoung.
Shivering, Wooyoung grabbed the envelope. He had no idea why, but he had an ominous feeling sitting at the base of his stomach. Suddenly, the words ‘willing replacement’ that he had read in the letter earlier rang clear in his ears.
Opening Nichkhun’s letter, Wooyoung could feel tears slowly streaming down his face.
‘Dear Wooyoung,
I hope you can wake up every day happier now.
Please always take care of your health. Make sure you don’t catch a cold. Maybe try another of one our drinks instead of always having the mocha frappucino? I would highly recommend the sweet Americano! It’s one of my favourites.
And Wooyoung, most importantly, always smile.
And remember that you have the most beautiful eyes in this entire world.
Always yours,
Nichkhun’