-The Soldier is getting into the spirit of things! How is he doing so? Well the Demoman is definitely good for some explosives. And the Soldier loves blowing shit up. You might find him shouting a war cry at the top of his lungs while throwing home made bombs under parked cars. He lives for wanton destruction, so this is just a blast for him.-TODAY ( Read more... )

...

Respawn time in this shithole is terrible. God damnit...

HEY DOC, since you're apparently here now, mind telling me what the hell this pickaxe does? It sure as hell isn't normal. I threw away the instruction manual when I got it, so I'm GUESSING you might have some clue.

And give it in English, doc.

...

No, I'm pretty sure this is NOT Germany.

WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PROVISIONS?

It's a Nazi plot, I'm sure! They've found me out!

WELL THEY'D BETTER COME EXPECTING HELL! I'LL TAKE THEM ALL DOWN WITH A SHOVEL IF I HAVE TO! THEY'LL NEVER TAKE THIS SOLDIER ALIVE!

[[ ... you can pretty much guess here. ]]

Citizens of Mayfield, it has come to my attention that my household is in need of the services of a domestic specialist. My "wife" is currently incapable of cooking until otherwise noted and I will be damned if I allow her to work at half capacity until this problem is dealt with. THAT is not how a man of character operates! So while my "wife" is ( Read more... )

-The voice that comes over the phone is not happy. In fact, it is the epitome of angry.-

MEDIC! WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZING HELL DID YOU PUT IN MY COFFEE, YOU SICK NAZI SON OF A BITCH!

...

... Mashed potatoes are good, though.

WHY AM I MARRIED TO A JAP? WITH A JAP SON?

... Turkey ain't bad either...

I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM ON ( Read more... )