Only dead girls don't walk away from me, as sad as it seems

[uninformed]

title: Flawed
fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
pairing: Elricest
genre: angst, incest, yaoi
spoilers: eps 51
words: 286
warnings: I don't believe in grammar. No, really. Spur of the moment and random, but I kinda like it.
R

Comments

[mikkeneko]

This is a dynamic I like seeing explored -- traditionally, a lot of the appeal of elricest is that each knows just how sinful the other is. But with amnesiac al, that becomes a little looser.

This was sweet and I was glad I read it.

[uninformed]

Thank you! I think my favourite thing about Elricest is playing with Ed's guilt complex ^_^;; I'm glad you liked it!

[asidian]

This is just... lovely. Poetic and well-structured and -beautiful-, and I cannot begin to say how unfair it is that you managed to pack all this into this few words.

There's, what? Four lines describing what they're actually doing? But it's -enough-, because you do it so. Well.

...and now I'm gonna add, against my better judgement, that you get -extra- points for having this be so bittersweet and lovely and then adding -this- line, which struck me as -incredibly- hot: "And he nips me, tongues me, presses me to the floor."

*passes out*

[uninformed]

Wow *_* I don't even know how to reply to that beyond dropping to my knees and thanking you madly for the high praise ^_^; I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[lila_negra]

It's so nice and sad ;_; I'm so glad you posted it in the community!!
I don't know how to explain it, but it has something really special, something... I don't know, something that touched me. Thanks for writing ^^

[uninformed]

thank you so much ^_^ I'm glad you liked it!

[climbatize]

I don't think there's anything I can say that nobody else has said before. . . I really, really like this. It's beautiful and slow but it feels panicked, claustrophobic, almost, if that makes any sense. For some reason when I read this I saw all the. . . wrongness, I guess, of elricest, that it's incest and everything, even though you said nothing about that specifically. And I really like this sentence: "I want to push him away, to warn him and save him and keep him beautiful and clean and nothing I touch can be that way."

^_^

[uninformed]

Thank you for commenting! I'm glad that you liked it. :D

[thewolfplush]

Ditto to everything that has been said before. This is brilliant. Often, short works are misunderstood, but it takes true talent to convey so much in so little. To me, it was heartbreaking, but it showed some hope. Ed, scarred and guilty as he is, is still loved by his brother and can accept that love (even if it just adds to his guilt).

Beautiful work. One minor correction.

'don't 'kow' how to stop'

Simple typo, happens to even the best of writers. (I've seen worse in published novels @.@)

Awesome, awesome work. Great insight into Ed's little twisted psyche. Damnit, Ed, just accept that your brother loves you and move on!

Favorite line: I've been destroyed and broken and reassembled incorrectly.

[uninformed]

Thank you - I fixed the typo ^_^;;

Whee, I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for commenting :D