Only dead girls don't walk away from me, as sad as it seems
title: Flawed
fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
pairing: Elricest
genre: angst, incest, yaoi
spoilers: eps 51
words: 286
warnings: I don't believe in grammar. No, really. Spur of the moment and random, but I kinda like it.
R
He stands before me and he's naked and perfect and flawless. Hopeful and shy and adorable and whole. Smooth muscle and soft flesh; long fingers and short hair. My brother is perfection.
And he slides towards me, touches me, kisses me.
And I hate myself. I want to push him away, to warn him and save him and keep him beautiful and clean and nothing I touch can be that way. I've been destroyed and broken and reassembled incorrectly. My pieces are all out of place: ugly metal limbs; a haunted conscience; blood on my hands. He deserves beauty equal to his. Perfection equal to his.
And he nips me, tongues me, presses me to the floor.
I want to scream at him, show him how marred I am. I want to make him remember and relive all the horrible things that I've done. I want him to know me for what I became in the years he doesn't know. He needs to see the blood beneath my nails and dirt under my toes. I need to tell him I'll drag him down, to save him before he becomes ugly too. But he's taking me to heaven and I'm too selfish to resist.
And he shakes for me, yells for me, swallows me whole.
And I crash back to earth and he's holding me and I'm crying and trembling and don't know how to stop. His lips are on my ear and he's whispering senseless things, stroking my hair, telling me it's okay. But it can't be okay because I've ruined and flawed him beyond repair and there's no greater sin than that.
And he comforts me, holds me, forgives me.
But I don't deserve it.
fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
pairing: Elricest
genre: angst, incest, yaoi
spoilers: eps 51
words: 286
warnings: I don't believe in grammar. No, really. Spur of the moment and random, but I kinda like it.
R
He stands before me and he's naked and perfect and flawless. Hopeful and shy and adorable and whole. Smooth muscle and soft flesh; long fingers and short hair. My brother is perfection.
And he slides towards me, touches me, kisses me.
And I hate myself. I want to push him away, to warn him and save him and keep him beautiful and clean and nothing I touch can be that way. I've been destroyed and broken and reassembled incorrectly. My pieces are all out of place: ugly metal limbs; a haunted conscience; blood on my hands. He deserves beauty equal to his. Perfection equal to his.
And he nips me, tongues me, presses me to the floor.
I want to scream at him, show him how marred I am. I want to make him remember and relive all the horrible things that I've done. I want him to know me for what I became in the years he doesn't know. He needs to see the blood beneath my nails and dirt under my toes. I need to tell him I'll drag him down, to save him before he becomes ugly too. But he's taking me to heaven and I'm too selfish to resist.
And he shakes for me, yells for me, swallows me whole.
And I crash back to earth and he's holding me and I'm crying and trembling and don't know how to stop. His lips are on my ear and he's whispering senseless things, stroking my hair, telling me it's okay. But it can't be okay because I've ruined and flawed him beyond repair and there's no greater sin than that.
And he comforts me, holds me, forgives me.
But I don't deserve it.