[Secret Santa] Operation L'Amour-(3/6)
A Secret Santa Fic for satirical_dream. Hope you like it!
Alfred and Arthur are both quite in love with one another, but they're stuck dancing around each other and can't seem to get together. Arthur makes a deal with Francis in an attempt to get help with the problem, but when Alfred sees them together, he becomes jealous.
This chapter: AMERI-PUNCH!
The original prompt was: America and England have been dancing around each other for a while, both can't seem to ask each other out. England then starts to spend too much time hanging out with France (when in reality, he's trying to get help from him) and America gets jealous.
*Not required, but I would love it if they somehow include Prussia/Canada <3
Chapter 3
“See, I told you that the meeting room was full of sexual tension,” Francis said with a smirk.
“I suppose so,” Arthur responded. They were walking together through the cold Manhattan streets, back to their hotel. Francis’s running commentary on awkward moments occurring throughout the boardroom had been highly amusing, and Arthur wasn’t dreading the continuation of “Operation L’amour” so much as he might have.
“Alfred was watching you, you know.”
“I’m sure he was just glaring at me or something,” Arthur responded, although the news had taken him by surprise. Francis shrugged in response and led the way into their hotel and up towards the conference room from yesterday.
“So what are we doing today?” Arthur said tiredly, placing his briefcase on the ground and settling himself into a chair.
“Today,” France began as his PowerPoint appeared on the screen, “we cover ‘overcoming inner difficulties’.”
“Oh goody,” Arthur drolled, folding his arms. The slight alleviation of his dread was all but gone. The screen title now read: Overcoming the Colony Complex.
“Now the first step to conquering your problem is to learn to see Alfred as a grown-up.”
“I do,” Arthur insisted. Francis raised an eyebrow, and the Englishman adjusted his statement, “sometimes.”
“Well you need to learn to do it all the time,” Francis said. “Now, we’ll be going on a fieldtrip.”
“A fieldtrip?” Arthur asked.
“Yes,” Francis responded, “You’re going to eavesdrop on a little conversation. Now, I had Gilbert and Mattieu bring Alfred to the hotel bar, and I’m going to go down and speak with them. You are going to hide behind a plant.”
“Is this necessary?” Arthur asked
“Do not doubt my process.”
oOoOo
Gangster Jones felt the pull of his pin striped suit as he leaned against the bar of his favorite speakeasy. His eyes closed as he took a heavy swig of moonshine. One eye opened just slightly, as he observed his fellow gangsters out of the corner of his eye. His twin, who’d once been a straightlaced kind of guy but had since fallen for one Alfred’s coworkers, was grinning and talking with Gilbert. Gilbert was a crazy bastard, working with him was always a risk, but he was brilliant when he wanted to be.
Alfred knew why they’d taken him here. They wanted to cheer him up. Alfred was a fool, and he had let himself fall for a copper. He’d thought it was love, but officer Kirkland had betrayed him. Even now he was off working with his fellow cop, officer Bonnefoy.
Bonnefoy was corrupt. Alfred had worked with him before; he was notorious for taking bribes from bootleggers and smugglers. He’d had every intention of telling Arthur the truth about his partner’s backroom deals, but that was before he’d had his heart broken. He’d caught the two of them necking in Arthur’s car. He’d never felt so hurt in his life.
“Alfred, please cheer up. I don’t want to leave you here like this,” Matthew said, “I really wish I knew what was eating at you.”
“I told you I’m fine,” Alfred insisted, “You two can go if you want.”
“See, he says we can go. So let’s go,” Gilbert said taking Matthew’s arm and tugging him towards the door. Matthew frowned at him.
“My brother’s upset! You wouldn’t leave Ludwig if he was sad about something, would you?”
“I don’t think I’d be able to tell, really. He has the same expression all the time.”
Gilbert began to imitate his brother’s different expressions, all of which were the same. Matthew began to giggle.
Alfred sighed. Watching his brother flirt wasn’t making him feel particularly better, but he felt even worse when he heard a voice ring out behind them
“Ah, the bar is full of friends!” Alfred winced as Francis approached them.
“Actually, Matthew and I were just leaving,” Gilbert said quickly, putting his hands on the Canadian’s shoulders and directing him towards the door. Alfred heard him saying, “He’s not alone now, he’ll be fine,” as they left.
“Hello, Alfred, how is everyone’s favorite world power doing today?” Francis asked, settling himself a little too close into Alfred’s personal space. Alfred scooted his stool a few inches over.
“I’m fine. I was actually going to leave though.”
“Non, non, non. You stay here with me. I’d like someone to talk with while I drink,” Francis ordered a glass of wine for himself, grinning at Alfred all the while.
“Don’t you have anyone else to drink with?” Alfred asked before blushing slightly and adding, “Like Arthur.”
“Arthur?” Francis asked his smirk became disturbingly wider, “Why do you mention him?”
“No reason,” Alfred said with a shrug.
“Of course,” Francis murmured, “Well, I could ask you the same thing. Surely a brilliantly handsome young man such as yourself could have his pick of drinking partners.”
“I only came here because Mattie made me. I wasn’t really looking for someone to drink with,” Alfred responded.
“That’s no reason you can’t find yourself some pretty thing to take home tonight. Surely a little love would make you feel better, non?” There was a strangled sort of noise from the potted plant in the corner of the room, but Alfred didn’t notice because he was too busy turning red and sputtering.
“I can’t- I don’t- you just don’t take people home that you don’t know! That’s not- you shouldn’t-”
“You’re not serious are you?” Francis asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve never had a one night stand?”
“What? No, I- who talks about these things?” Alfred’s voice was coming out at least a couple of octaves above it’s usual pitch and he knew that he was bright red, but he couldn’t help it. He took another sip of his soda in an attempt to hide his face.
“Are you drinking cola?” Francis asked his voice sounding strangled.
“Yeah. Drinking age is 21, my license says I’m 19. They won’t serve me anything else.”
Francis leaned in very close to Alfred’s face, looking furious all the while. “You are not helping,” he said. “No wonder people think of you like a child, you act like one.”
“Hey, shut up! I’m totally a grown-up!”
“Oh, really?” Francis responded, “You don’t drink, you blush like virgin when anyone mentions sex, and there is a gameboy about to fall out of your pocket! Prove you’re an adult or I’m leaving right now!”
“I don’t want you to stay,” Alfred snapped back, “But I am grown up. I’ve got my own houses, I’ve fought in war, I can go to fancy restaurants and not complain about them having no hamburgers if I really have to. Besides, if you ask me, really mature people aren’t that concerned with sex and drinks anyway. That sounds kind of childish to me.”
Alfred was proud of that last sentence. It sounded very mature to his ears, and Francis hadn’t responded yet so he figured he must agree.
“You’re saying that you’re only a prude because you’re more mature than the rest of us?”
“Yeah, well that and the puritans. They were always saying how ‘sins of the flesh’ and drinking ‘fermented drinks’ would get you sent to hell. Although they said the same thing about dancing, the theater, and celebrating Christmas. Besides, I drank before they upped the drinking age. I even went to a few speak easies when I was under prohibition. It’s just I can’t order anything at the bar.”
“What about the sex? You don’t need a license for that,” Francis said, frowning.
“Just cuz…” Alfred began, but he petered out, unsure if he really wanted to say what he was thinking. He bit his lip, however, before barreling forward, “Just cuz I don’t wanna talk about something with you doesn’t mean I don’t think about it!”
“To be completely honest, I’m now having trouble imagining that you have any idea how intercourse even works,” Francis told him blandly. He sighed heavily and leaned on the bar. Alfred didn’t know what he was so upset about. Usually he would have expected Francis to use this all as an excuse to come onto him or something, but it almost seemed as though he were frustrated.
Suddenly, however, Francis’s eyes lit up. He was staring very intently at a napkin that was lying between the two of them. Alfred looked at it too, and then back up at Francis, his own face filled with terror. They both made to grab at it, but Francis was faster. In a moment he was inspecting it very closely.
“You do think about these things don’t you!” he said laughing, “I think you’ve been spending too much time with Kiku lately.”
“Give it back!” Alfred growled, his face burning.
“Non, non, I can’t do that. I need this for proof,” Francis said as he smiled and shook his head.
“Give it back!” Alfred shouted, this time grabbing the napkin back and punching Francis across the room. He stuffed it into his pocket and stormed out of the bar.
OoOoO
Arthur could not stop laughing. They were back in their conference room, although Francis was now nursing a very sore cheek.
“It is not funny! He is very strong, and I didn’t even get my proof of his adult mindedness.”
“Just tell me what he drew on the damn napkin and we’ll be fine,” Arthur said, trying to stifle his laughter. “Although personally I consider anyone man enough who sends you flying across a room.”
“I must admit, I did not expect him to be such a prude. I thought if you heard him speaking about his passed sexual conquests than you would be forced to see him as a grown man.”
“Clearly you never met any puritans then. The whole lot was like that. Why did you think we gave them Massachusetts? Anything to get rid of them.”
Francis laughed slightly, but winced in pain as he did. “Still, I can tell you with confidence that his mind is not quite as prudish as his words. He had drawn some sort of romantic encounter between two men on that napkin. They look liked policemen or something, I couldn’t quite make out who they were supposed to be.”
Arthur flushed just thinking about Alfred thinking about those sorts of things. It was strange, but perhaps Francis had actually helped. Knowing that Alfred didn’t think like a child, although it might seem like he did on the outside, made Arthur feel a little less guilty for falling for him.
“What’s the next step?” he asked.
“Personality differences,” Francis told him. “I want you to think about how your differing personalities fit together.”
Arthur leaned his hand on his cheek and stared pensively at the PowerPoint up on the screen. He and Alfred were quite different, but he never really doubted that they worked together on some level.
“Well, you know, opposites attract, I guess,” Arthur said, smiling to himself, “He needs someone to give him a firm grasp on reality, and I suppose I need someone to make me have a little more fun every once in awhile.”
Francis raised an eyebrow, “Seeing me get punched always puts you in a very accepting mood doesn’t it?”
“Oh, I forgot! Punching you is an aspect of his personality that I find quite agreeable. Add that to the list.”
“I hate you,” Francis said blandly. He clicked the PowerPoint forward and it said: I’ll just have to accept the fact that I have giant, uncontrollable eyebrows. Francis urged, “Read it.”
Arthur made to punch him and Francis quickly covered his face.
“Wait, wait, wait! We haven’t finished today’s lesson just yet.”
“Well, I’m not reading that, so unless you have something of value to add I’m done here.”
“The last bit for today is to learn how to be happy. And not because of someone else’s misery either.”
Arthur grumbled but sat back down. The screen was now urging him to learn that no one was impressed by his brooding and that loneliness was not enjoyable. At the very bottom, however, Francis has written Beatles lyrics.
“For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder,” Arthur read quietly.
“Yes,” Francis said. “They’re your famous band’s lyrics, but I don’t think you understand them at all.”
“I understand them,” Arthur snapped, “They mean… well that is, in the context of the song...”
“Yes, in the context of the song they mean that it is ridiculous to hold your feelings inside because you’re afraid that something bad will happen, or because you’d rather be distant and cool than risk it all on love.”
Arthur considered this silently.
“We’ll meet again tomorrow,” Francis informed him, “I am going to get more ice for my face.”
He left and Arthur remained sitting in the conference room, his mind on Alfred.
Author's Note:
This is my last update until after Christmas. I'll try to get it all done ASAP afterward, but I might have to play with new toys first, so we'll see what happens. Either way it'll certainly be done by the due date on New Year's Eve. After all, I promised a friend of mine I'd write her some Ace Attorney Fic, and I haven't even gotten started on that. Damn, I wish I had the ability to write something besides chapter fic! >:(
MERRY CHRISTMAS! (Or Happy Christmas, whatever, or Happy Hannukah, although that was over awhile ago)
Alfred and Arthur are both quite in love with one another, but they're stuck dancing around each other and can't seem to get together. Arthur makes a deal with Francis in an attempt to get help with the problem, but when Alfred sees them together, he becomes jealous.
This chapter: AMERI-PUNCH!
The original prompt was: America and England have been dancing around each other for a while, both can't seem to ask each other out. England then starts to spend too much time hanging out with France (when in reality, he's trying to get help from him) and America gets jealous.
*Not required, but I would love it if they somehow include Prussia/Canada <3
Chapter 3
“See, I told you that the meeting room was full of sexual tension,” Francis said with a smirk.
“I suppose so,” Arthur responded. They were walking together through the cold Manhattan streets, back to their hotel. Francis’s running commentary on awkward moments occurring throughout the boardroom had been highly amusing, and Arthur wasn’t dreading the continuation of “Operation L’amour” so much as he might have.
“Alfred was watching you, you know.”
“I’m sure he was just glaring at me or something,” Arthur responded, although the news had taken him by surprise. Francis shrugged in response and led the way into their hotel and up towards the conference room from yesterday.
“So what are we doing today?” Arthur said tiredly, placing his briefcase on the ground and settling himself into a chair.
“Today,” France began as his PowerPoint appeared on the screen, “we cover ‘overcoming inner difficulties’.”
“Oh goody,” Arthur drolled, folding his arms. The slight alleviation of his dread was all but gone. The screen title now read: Overcoming the Colony Complex.
“Now the first step to conquering your problem is to learn to see Alfred as a grown-up.”
“I do,” Arthur insisted. Francis raised an eyebrow, and the Englishman adjusted his statement, “sometimes.”
“Well you need to learn to do it all the time,” Francis said. “Now, we’ll be going on a fieldtrip.”
“A fieldtrip?” Arthur asked.
“Yes,” Francis responded, “You’re going to eavesdrop on a little conversation. Now, I had Gilbert and Mattieu bring Alfred to the hotel bar, and I’m going to go down and speak with them. You are going to hide behind a plant.”
“Is this necessary?” Arthur asked
“Do not doubt my process.”
oOoOo
Gangster Jones felt the pull of his pin striped suit as he leaned against the bar of his favorite speakeasy. His eyes closed as he took a heavy swig of moonshine. One eye opened just slightly, as he observed his fellow gangsters out of the corner of his eye. His twin, who’d once been a straightlaced kind of guy but had since fallen for one Alfred’s coworkers, was grinning and talking with Gilbert. Gilbert was a crazy bastard, working with him was always a risk, but he was brilliant when he wanted to be.
Alfred knew why they’d taken him here. They wanted to cheer him up. Alfred was a fool, and he had let himself fall for a copper. He’d thought it was love, but officer Kirkland had betrayed him. Even now he was off working with his fellow cop, officer Bonnefoy.
Bonnefoy was corrupt. Alfred had worked with him before; he was notorious for taking bribes from bootleggers and smugglers. He’d had every intention of telling Arthur the truth about his partner’s backroom deals, but that was before he’d had his heart broken. He’d caught the two of them necking in Arthur’s car. He’d never felt so hurt in his life.
“Alfred, please cheer up. I don’t want to leave you here like this,” Matthew said, “I really wish I knew what was eating at you.”
“I told you I’m fine,” Alfred insisted, “You two can go if you want.”
“See, he says we can go. So let’s go,” Gilbert said taking Matthew’s arm and tugging him towards the door. Matthew frowned at him.
“My brother’s upset! You wouldn’t leave Ludwig if he was sad about something, would you?”
“I don’t think I’d be able to tell, really. He has the same expression all the time.”
Gilbert began to imitate his brother’s different expressions, all of which were the same. Matthew began to giggle.
Alfred sighed. Watching his brother flirt wasn’t making him feel particularly better, but he felt even worse when he heard a voice ring out behind them
“Ah, the bar is full of friends!” Alfred winced as Francis approached them.
“Actually, Matthew and I were just leaving,” Gilbert said quickly, putting his hands on the Canadian’s shoulders and directing him towards the door. Alfred heard him saying, “He’s not alone now, he’ll be fine,” as they left.
“Hello, Alfred, how is everyone’s favorite world power doing today?” Francis asked, settling himself a little too close into Alfred’s personal space. Alfred scooted his stool a few inches over.
“I’m fine. I was actually going to leave though.”
“Non, non, non. You stay here with me. I’d like someone to talk with while I drink,” Francis ordered a glass of wine for himself, grinning at Alfred all the while.
“Don’t you have anyone else to drink with?” Alfred asked before blushing slightly and adding, “Like Arthur.”
“Arthur?” Francis asked his smirk became disturbingly wider, “Why do you mention him?”
“No reason,” Alfred said with a shrug.
“Of course,” Francis murmured, “Well, I could ask you the same thing. Surely a brilliantly handsome young man such as yourself could have his pick of drinking partners.”
“I only came here because Mattie made me. I wasn’t really looking for someone to drink with,” Alfred responded.
“That’s no reason you can’t find yourself some pretty thing to take home tonight. Surely a little love would make you feel better, non?” There was a strangled sort of noise from the potted plant in the corner of the room, but Alfred didn’t notice because he was too busy turning red and sputtering.
“I can’t- I don’t- you just don’t take people home that you don’t know! That’s not- you shouldn’t-”
“You’re not serious are you?” Francis asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve never had a one night stand?”
“What? No, I- who talks about these things?” Alfred’s voice was coming out at least a couple of octaves above it’s usual pitch and he knew that he was bright red, but he couldn’t help it. He took another sip of his soda in an attempt to hide his face.
“Are you drinking cola?” Francis asked his voice sounding strangled.
“Yeah. Drinking age is 21, my license says I’m 19. They won’t serve me anything else.”
Francis leaned in very close to Alfred’s face, looking furious all the while. “You are not helping,” he said. “No wonder people think of you like a child, you act like one.”
“Hey, shut up! I’m totally a grown-up!”
“Oh, really?” Francis responded, “You don’t drink, you blush like virgin when anyone mentions sex, and there is a gameboy about to fall out of your pocket! Prove you’re an adult or I’m leaving right now!”
“I don’t want you to stay,” Alfred snapped back, “But I am grown up. I’ve got my own houses, I’ve fought in war, I can go to fancy restaurants and not complain about them having no hamburgers if I really have to. Besides, if you ask me, really mature people aren’t that concerned with sex and drinks anyway. That sounds kind of childish to me.”
Alfred was proud of that last sentence. It sounded very mature to his ears, and Francis hadn’t responded yet so he figured he must agree.
“You’re saying that you’re only a prude because you’re more mature than the rest of us?”
“Yeah, well that and the puritans. They were always saying how ‘sins of the flesh’ and drinking ‘fermented drinks’ would get you sent to hell. Although they said the same thing about dancing, the theater, and celebrating Christmas. Besides, I drank before they upped the drinking age. I even went to a few speak easies when I was under prohibition. It’s just I can’t order anything at the bar.”
“What about the sex? You don’t need a license for that,” Francis said, frowning.
“Just cuz…” Alfred began, but he petered out, unsure if he really wanted to say what he was thinking. He bit his lip, however, before barreling forward, “Just cuz I don’t wanna talk about something with you doesn’t mean I don’t think about it!”
“To be completely honest, I’m now having trouble imagining that you have any idea how intercourse even works,” Francis told him blandly. He sighed heavily and leaned on the bar. Alfred didn’t know what he was so upset about. Usually he would have expected Francis to use this all as an excuse to come onto him or something, but it almost seemed as though he were frustrated.
Suddenly, however, Francis’s eyes lit up. He was staring very intently at a napkin that was lying between the two of them. Alfred looked at it too, and then back up at Francis, his own face filled with terror. They both made to grab at it, but Francis was faster. In a moment he was inspecting it very closely.
“You do think about these things don’t you!” he said laughing, “I think you’ve been spending too much time with Kiku lately.”
“Give it back!” Alfred growled, his face burning.
“Non, non, I can’t do that. I need this for proof,” Francis said as he smiled and shook his head.
“Give it back!” Alfred shouted, this time grabbing the napkin back and punching Francis across the room. He stuffed it into his pocket and stormed out of the bar.
OoOoO
Arthur could not stop laughing. They were back in their conference room, although Francis was now nursing a very sore cheek.
“It is not funny! He is very strong, and I didn’t even get my proof of his adult mindedness.”
“Just tell me what he drew on the damn napkin and we’ll be fine,” Arthur said, trying to stifle his laughter. “Although personally I consider anyone man enough who sends you flying across a room.”
“I must admit, I did not expect him to be such a prude. I thought if you heard him speaking about his passed sexual conquests than you would be forced to see him as a grown man.”
“Clearly you never met any puritans then. The whole lot was like that. Why did you think we gave them Massachusetts? Anything to get rid of them.”
Francis laughed slightly, but winced in pain as he did. “Still, I can tell you with confidence that his mind is not quite as prudish as his words. He had drawn some sort of romantic encounter between two men on that napkin. They look liked policemen or something, I couldn’t quite make out who they were supposed to be.”
Arthur flushed just thinking about Alfred thinking about those sorts of things. It was strange, but perhaps Francis had actually helped. Knowing that Alfred didn’t think like a child, although it might seem like he did on the outside, made Arthur feel a little less guilty for falling for him.
“What’s the next step?” he asked.
“Personality differences,” Francis told him. “I want you to think about how your differing personalities fit together.”
Arthur leaned his hand on his cheek and stared pensively at the PowerPoint up on the screen. He and Alfred were quite different, but he never really doubted that they worked together on some level.
“Well, you know, opposites attract, I guess,” Arthur said, smiling to himself, “He needs someone to give him a firm grasp on reality, and I suppose I need someone to make me have a little more fun every once in awhile.”
Francis raised an eyebrow, “Seeing me get punched always puts you in a very accepting mood doesn’t it?”
“Oh, I forgot! Punching you is an aspect of his personality that I find quite agreeable. Add that to the list.”
“I hate you,” Francis said blandly. He clicked the PowerPoint forward and it said: I’ll just have to accept the fact that I have giant, uncontrollable eyebrows. Francis urged, “Read it.”
Arthur made to punch him and Francis quickly covered his face.
“Wait, wait, wait! We haven’t finished today’s lesson just yet.”
“Well, I’m not reading that, so unless you have something of value to add I’m done here.”
“The last bit for today is to learn how to be happy. And not because of someone else’s misery either.”
Arthur grumbled but sat back down. The screen was now urging him to learn that no one was impressed by his brooding and that loneliness was not enjoyable. At the very bottom, however, Francis has written Beatles lyrics.
“For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder,” Arthur read quietly.
“Yes,” Francis said. “They’re your famous band’s lyrics, but I don’t think you understand them at all.”
“I understand them,” Arthur snapped, “They mean… well that is, in the context of the song...”
“Yes, in the context of the song they mean that it is ridiculous to hold your feelings inside because you’re afraid that something bad will happen, or because you’d rather be distant and cool than risk it all on love.”
Arthur considered this silently.
“We’ll meet again tomorrow,” Francis informed him, “I am going to get more ice for my face.”
He left and Arthur remained sitting in the conference room, his mind on Alfred.
Author's Note:
This is my last update until after Christmas. I'll try to get it all done ASAP afterward, but I might have to play with new toys first, so we'll see what happens. Either way it'll certainly be done by the due date on New Year's Eve. After all, I promised a friend of mine I'd write her some Ace Attorney Fic, and I haven't even gotten started on that. Damn, I wish I had the ability to write something besides chapter fic! >:(
MERRY CHRISTMAS! (Or Happy Christmas, whatever, or Happy Hannukah, although that was over awhile ago)