-
This Is Where My Heart Is
In my journey through The Federalist Papers--even though it's only just been a few days, and a few papers--I am rediscovering that I. Love. Academia.
It's like I suddenly understand a piece of what has been missing from my life for the past decade-plus. It's what I loved about the talks Matt and I would have on our visits. It's what I did--and ( Read more... ) -
Strong Not Good
It occurred to me tonight--as it was coming out of my mouth, the way so many things have occurred to me--that *strong* is what you are when crap is piled on you and you fight through it, but *good* is what you are when you have a choice. When all the shit is NOT piled on you, and you have resources at your disposal like time, money, good mental ( Read more... ) -
Life Is More than Action
I messaged Hannah a couple weeks back with this realization:
Mary Beth and I talked a lot about my tendency to 'power through' everything, and how it maybe isn't the way to go, Ram or not. I realized that me, starting to talk about 'taking a break' more than a year ago, was my gut telling me that I *needed* that break, I needed to stop powering ( Read more... ) -
The Asset (?) of Objectivity
I have been wondering about this for a while now, and perhaps writing it down will help me process--as it so often tends to.
I get that objectivity is important in things like science. But for the living of everyday life...is it so necessary? The fact is...no one is going to know the truth of things, except the very very few in the center of any ( Read more... ) -
'Home'
This may not seem like a huge deal. But it feels like one.
Tonight, I went downtown to GoodNights to see Brad Williams [?]. It's a Friday. I have been sick for the last week, and today was my first full day at work since Tuesday. It was dark (8PM there, midnight coming home) and rainy. I don't even know what "part" of downtown I was in; I ( Read more... ) -
Real
"I did feel shame, but, I told myself, at least I was a woman having a real experience, unwilling to pretend about it, ready to take myself, my feelings, seriously."
(from 'The Mermaid Chair')
I want to make sure I'm having a real experience.
And Mary Beth is helping me think about that.
Thank god for her. -
Dr. Gessner
OH MY GOOD LORD.
I am doing the thing where you lay on your back and raise your legs up, straight, using your core strength. And I have never in my life been able to do this without feeling like I was arching my back into it, because the bones back there just feel pinched and grind-y.
But right now--I AM DOING IT! I don't feel like my back is ( Read more... ) -
Only Now
I had a bit of a revelation last night.
And after contemplating it for a bit, I kind of can't believe that I'm *only now* figuring this out, as it seems quite obvious.
I was wondering about Brett, and why I still hold him so closely after so many years. (I have actually been thinking a lot about TJ lately, and how I continue to hate him so ( Read more... ) -
Me About Me
Over the last few months, I have really been noticing some particular things that are true about myself. I know, it sounds weird...but it is what it is. I can't really control much of what I learn and when I learn it, and these are the things I *knew* about myself, but am really seeing the truth of lately.
First, I am an Aries. This has been ( Read more... ) -
Not Be
The moving information is not correct--and they're coming at the worst possible time ( Read more... )