The Girl with Flaxen Hair - Chapter Eleven

[unbridled_b]

Author's note: I'll admit it. There's very little about this chapter I actually like, and there's a very real chance I'll go back and rewrite it at some point. However, after struggling so long on the damn thing, I figured I needed to post it and move on. (There's a ringing endorsement for you, right

Comments

[rebcake]

Heh. The cultural divide is vast. I'm not sure anything can bridge it. Books probably won't do the trick.

I'm very curious to know what Buffy's game might be. Curiouser and curiouser.

Excellent chapter. I did feel his frustration. His many frustrations, actually. It's making him more Spike-like, I notice. In flashes.

Small edits:
Well, all one had to do was look at was his own family history
was that version was born in 1850 as well?
What I'm asking is how he managed to live so long.

[unbridled_b]

Thanks for the corrections. I'm horrible about catching typos, especially when I'm tired. *blush*

[jacobs_muse]

Poor chap. Yes, it would be frustrating to be interviewed when trying to make a friend. poor sad and lonely young man.

She hadn't considered she might come to a William with a slightly different history than Spike. Not knowing the exact date, of course she couldn't make sure to get there before his turning. It should click to her now that this mother wasn't vamped, either.

Love his last question. The vampire won't enter into pop culture for some years yet, so of course he doesn't know. Looking forward to how she explains this one, lol.

[unbridled_b]

It should click to her now that this mother wasn't vamped, either.

Oh, I think that's been weighing pretty heavily on her mind, although William has no way of knowing it.

Thanks for commenting. :)

[lutamira]

Well, you might not be in love with this chapter, but I certainly enjoyed reading it! Your prose is beautiful - clear and evocative. And your William is so broken and sad and your Buffy such a mystery. I'm totally hooked.

The use of numbers at the beginning worked really well for me - a great call-back to canon.

This: His skin felt hot, yet he shivered inside his woolen coat. He wondered if there was any possibility she might fail to notice this. His illness was a secret he did not care to share, not with her. Not just yet. Does she notice? Does she know? Buffy isn't always the most observant. But her impressions of William and her interactions with him are so colored by the fact that he is despondent and sick and strung out on laudanum.

Thanks for sharing this chapter with us!

[unbridled_b]

Well, you might not be in love with this chapter, but I certainly enjoyed reading it! Your prose is beautiful - clear and evocative. And your William is so broken and sad and your Buffy such a mystery. I'm totally hooked.

*blush* Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Does she notice? Does she know? Buffy isn't always the most observant. But her impressions of William and her interactions with him are so colored by the fact that he is despondent and sick and strung out on laudanum.

Poor William. He's relying on the laudanum so he can talk to her without reservation, but that can't last forever. Eventually, they're going to have to face each other without their respective masks. It should be interesting. (I hope!)

Thanks for sharing this chapter with us!

Thanks for reading it. :)

[molliemole]

Clearly, Buffy does know about his consumption and wanted him to read the book about it all the way to the end where, no doubt, it would have mentioned the cure for tuberculosis.

As for what a vampire is, she should have William look at Billy Crystal's video on Grampires! LOL

[unbridled_b]

Clearly, Buffy does know about his consumption and wanted him to read the book about it all the way to the end where, no doubt, it would have mentioned the cure for tuberculosis.

You could be right. Then again...

As for what a vampire is, she should have William look at Billy Crystal's video on Grampires! LOL

lol. Poor William. Hasn't he been traumatized enough already? :P

[slaymesoftly]

I like it! As usual, reading my flist backwards, so haven't seen what it looked like before, but this works nicely I think. Even with Buffy seemingly trying to be gentle with William, and he trying to be the perfect gentleman, they manage to snap at each other. :)

[unbridled_b]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you! :)

Even with Buffy seemingly trying to be gentle with William, and he trying to be the perfect gentleman, they manage to snap at each other. :)

lol. I think that's partly the fault of the laudanum. It's made him mouthy, and Buffy doesn't always like that in a man.

[slaymesoftly]

LOL true - but it is more their normal way of interacting, so fun to see it coming out so early.