handfuls of dried up reasons

all raspy to me at this point

it's time. it's time, it's time it's time

damn shame, but i'm going private quick as i can. how strange.

we spent so much time running away from china
i never even thought of digging digging my way back

why is planting flowers so different from making a hole?
satisfying in their own ways.

pound for pound, this i like.

my family is driving me f*cking crazy.

you couldn't pay someone to care as much as they expect me to.

jeez i gotta get out

The answer for today was in realizing discontentment about my immigrant childhood.

Money. Money is not all. I grew up and out of necessity, money was treated like the absolute, a realization of fecundity and success and happiness. But take a step back. Relax. Breathe. Past the part of realizing what makes you happy, money is (often) what lets us get ( Read more... )

What is appreciation?

at its most basic, reaping what you sow. the understanding of the result, when you are its cause, in whole or in part. today i spent digging up the backyard, wonder how this translated to appreciating things that other people give to you as gifts. add a sidenote on socialist commentary, but the vocabulary is still very far away ( Read more... )

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 50% Stability |||||||||||||| 53% Orderliness |||||||||||| 46% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 63% Interdependence |||||||||||| 43% Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56% Mystical || 10% Artistic |||||||||||||||| 70% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||| 30% ( Read more... )

after a night of silence my dad knocks on my door before he went to sleep.
throws judgment like a grenade in my face and close the door quick and off to bed he goes.

constructive, dad. real constructive.
this isn't a family. we tiptoe around each other, literally, figuratively
obligated to co-exist but in as far off corners of the house as we possibly ( Read more... )

i  don't have such an objection to muck, or mucking ( Read more... )

for some moments, some times in your life, you need it out
tip toe up out of the stage center, a party line against a roaring cliff in the watchful dark
artillery to the masses, not
i am here. not
i was or am.

i could have been happy with just a corner, just to be a part of it all
a secret fear realized when a shout boomerangs ugly against the backboards ( Read more... )

cannae sleep again and this night is llooking to turn into exhausted sleep without any dreams. again ( Read more... )