Comments | tyki_tock: [RL with Zechs] [Backdated to Shadow Event]

tyki_tock

[RL with Zechs] [Backdated to Shadow Event]

Jan 24, 2010 10:20

After taking leave of the others who'd come to help Zechs, Tyki took his husband back to their apartment, which wasn't far from the dungeon Zechs' shadow had created. He'd have taken them to their island, or their house in Switzerland, but frankly he didn't want to brave the dangers of the TV world when they were both so exhausted ( Read more... )

ic, zechs, rl

Comments 26

thricedeadwind January 24 2010, 18:27:05 UTC

Zechs wasn't certain if it was a better thing for him to remember every last detail of the Shadows' actions, or if it would have been more merciful for him to have forgotten. It wasn't merely because he was embarrassed for the pacifist's actions - prancing around like some painted girl, telling Rufus all of his secrets. And it wasn't just that he was horrified at what the cold, emotionless side of him had done - threatening Relena of all things, Christ. That all made him feel awful enough.

But he also remembers looking at all of his friends, watching their activities when they were possessed ... and how his Shadows felt glad for it. Amused, or grateful, or thinking they were somehow freed. Even Saguru. For all he knew of his friend, that would have been exceptionally difficult. And especially Tyki - to lose what little humanity he had as a Shadow had to bother him as well ( ... )

tyki_tock January 24 2010, 18:34:05 UTC

Tyki was pretty sure Zechs had forgotten - maybe hadn't even been paying attention when he said he wanted to talk to him afterwards.

There was a part of him that wanted to just wait, wait for Zechs to ask him - and if he never did, then fine. He'd dodged a bullet.

But the part of him that had now accepted that his Noah was a part of him, remained a part of him even now, and that he wasn't even that unhappy about him, knew that it was a lie he didn't even want to maintain any more.

He took a sip from his mug, then lit up a cigarette. "My Zechs...there's something I need to confess to you now."

thricedeadwind January 24 2010, 18:41:54 UTC

Both parts of Zechs' Shadow were paying attention at the time. They both just thought it'd never be over; that they would always survive, and be as they were forever. Zechs wasn't certain what would have happened to him if they succeeded. Maybe he'd eventually die. Even the pacifist Shadow hadn't thought him worth saving - which was a troublesome little psychological issue that Zechs wasn't too keen on examining at the moment.

At first, Zechs merely hummed a questioning response at Tyki's side, tired and feeling safe. Maybe if he listened to his husband more, he wouldn't have such troubles during this past virus. Or, at least, they wouldn't have been strong. Or were they the way they were due to the progress he made? Would it have been worse if he never had met Tyki?

But then he was truly listening, and lifted his head slightly. Hold on. Confused, he asked, "Confess?"

tyki_tock January 24 2010, 18:50:19 UTC

Tyki felt his heart constrict a little. He didn't want to get into an argument right now, not after the ordeal that they'd just faced. But he had to get this out before he chickened out.

"Yes," he said softly. "I...haven't been entirely honest with you, love, and I'm very sorry."

He swallowed. "I have been visiting the Ark, for a while now."

thricedeadwind January 24 2010, 18:59:08 UTC

Never had Zechs thought he'd hear those words, so he registered them with a numb sort of shock. He didn't quite comprehend. And, as logical and and as intelligent as he usually was, he didn't immediately put two and two together. Merely the fact that going to the Ark was foolish and dangerous first crossed into his mind.

He also saw the so-uncharacteristic nervousness on Tyki's face; observed the way he held his cigarette. The Noah was afraid. Of his reaction? Zechs felt something cold worm his way into his stomach, but still didn't think past the question, not drawing a conclusion.

"Why?"

tyki_tock January 24 2010, 19:20:09 UTC

Tyki had expected the question, but not said in quite that way. He'd thought it would be an angry demand, not...not the quiet question.

His gold eyes cut away for a moment, but he forced himself to look back at Zechs.

"Because... even now, I'm Noah's Pleasure," he said softly.

It wasn't the answer he'd planned. He'd planned to explain that he'd had no choice, that the Earl had threatened Zechs' life and the lives of everyone at their wedding. And that was a true reason, too, but it wasn't the real reason, and seeing his shadow yesterday, he had accepted it consciously for the first time.