Fucking hash brownies. I'm going crazy, slipping backwards into the vile and disgusting sludge I spent too long climbing out of. Perhaps this is a new direction. I make the same proposals a hundred times a hundred times. I'm burning up, I'm sick again. I did this to myself. Wasted weekend. Writing admissions essays the day they are due. Ad-libbing ( Read more... )

I realize I have no concept of how long I've been listening to the phone ring.
How long have I been waiting for her to pick up? Are there really people in this day and age without answering machines? Savages... The screen on my computer flickers, you can only see it when you look away. By the end of the day my eyes sting, bleed, pusstulate. I lean ( Read more... )

It's alright to regress, every once in a while. To return to a state of being which you long ago decided to depart from. It's safe to play drinking games with kids from school and end up at parties in parts of town you've never seen. And it isn't wrong to fall asleep in a comfortable mess of intoxicated bodies, touching and massaging and tickling ( Read more... )

you know, i bet the pope was a real nice guy...

I'm stuck in a trench of nostalgia that is slowly caving in to bury me. I've finally convinced myself that these lost sections of life were small and inconsequential. Only to cultivate the fear that - if all of my history prior to this equated to zero, then my future will undoubtedly result in the same. So does anything matter? Does happiness ( Read more... )

I'm sitting alone in Andie's office, across from Lena's, facing outward toward the staff table. The office is quiet, it's a monday and everyone is busy working off the sins of the weekend. Two very sketchy young men enter, they are latino and one is much bigger than the other. They step into Andie's office. The big one wears a long hooded ( Read more... )

is it wrong that i want everything to feel plastic?

i hate reality right now.

( Read more... )

With each day disappearing i gain unwarrented excitement. I find relief in passing time. Look how quickly February has gone by... I muse with a smile, and somehow I feel closer. I don't know where I'm going, what I'm gaining. Perhaps it's triggered by an unexamined belief in time healing all wounds. It isn't that I'm getting closer to a goal, but ( Read more... )

The snow silences everything,
defeats the innovations of mankind.
Ruins his roads and blankets his house.

Yesterday I nearly killed us both.
Thirteen thousand pounds of steel
versus a damp bank of crystal water.
Who wins?
.
.
.
sorry for scaring you.