Comments | twispitefic: Spitefic: Wake-Up Call

inmh in twispitefic

Spitefic: Wake-Up Call

Apr 21, 2012 19:04

Title: Wake-Up Call
Author: inmh
Fandom(s): New Moon, Smallville
Rating: PG-13/T
Word Count: 3,062
Inspiration: Smallville is just so saturated with badass women who do not take crap from anyone (And yet still retain enough vulnerability to make them relatable), I had to do something with at least one of them kicking Bella’s ass. I’ve already got a massive ( Read more... )

character: other male, spitefic type: take that, genre: general, rating: pg-13, character: other female, book: new moon, length: 1000-5000, spitefic type: rewrite, genre: comedy, character: bella swan, character: charlie swan

Comments 15

ruana1 April 22 2012, 02:53:21 UTC

Most enjoyable, even with very little knowledge of Smallville. Positively cathartic, indeed. Tess sounds like the kind of lady I'd like to meet.

However - holy POV whiplash, Batman! Are Clark and Lois somehow psychically linked? If so, might be wise to mention it. If not, I suggest you rewrite the odd sentences when, in a tale written almost entirely from her point of view, we suddenly find ourselves in his head instead.

inmh April 22 2012, 03:00:22 UTC

Thank you! But oh crap, you're right, I didn't notice that. I'll see if I can't tweak that a bit.

EDIT: Fixed it! Does that look better?

ruana1 April 22 2012, 20:40:30 UTC

Better, but not there. Even though the characters are close, saying what Clark 'almost' does still makes it sound as if we're looking through his eyes, because we've got no idea what he's done to make Lois conclude that that's what's going through his head. If I wanted to convey what you're getting at I'd use something like this:

He opened his mouth, then seemed to decide against getting involved...

inmh April 23 2012, 17:13:20 UTC

Fixed that one too! I looked it over to see if there were any more, and I didn't see any- But then, I didn't see them in the first place either.

Thank you so much for helping me out with this! :D

Thread 6

albion_witch April 22 2012, 13:28:39 UTC

Wow. I didn't watch "Smallville", but this is a Lois Lane I can get behind.

inmh April 22 2012, 23:40:52 UTC

I just got into it too, and she does have some awesome kickass moments during the show. :D

hyperactivator April 22 2012, 14:33:57 UTC

Horray for Lois Lane!

inmh April 22 2012, 23:40:26 UTC

I KNOW! She's awesome, right?

sinestris April 23 2012, 05:53:21 UTC

Wow. I don't even like Smallville (or the superhero genre in general if I'm honest, upcoming Avengers movie excepted just because of Robert Downey Jr.), and I was cheering Lois on by the end there.

Also I like this Tess woman and desire to meet her.

inmh April 23 2012, 16:55:55 UTC

YAY! I love it when that happens! :D

She IS awesome. She really is. She'd either blow Edward up on drop something really heavy on him (God, the possibilites... *drool*)

(The comment has been removed)

inmh April 23 2012, 17:11:45 UTC

SHE IS! Realistically, I find that people in this fandom (from what I've seen thus far) either love her or hate her. She can be a little overwhelming at times.

If nothing else, there are quite a few other characters to love in Smallville (Tess being my favorite). Chloe seems to be one that everyone loves.