the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem ( Read more... )

i feel l ike an old dog on a mission to bury his last bones. i hate packing so much. i just want it all to be done with. i have to get out of here now, not because i am excited but because i've used up all my resources ( Read more... )

dark billowing clouds and its still ( Read more... )

dig ( Read more... )

when somebody says all the right things, all the things i want to hear, i usually think they're full of shit.

some people, as they go on, they try to know less and less as if there was a limit to the sky. as if our world was surrounded by a blue ceiling, whole and enclosed ( Read more... )

people do things for reasons they don't admit all the time.
it's ok.
you don't have to tell anyone.
they don't notice most of the time anyway.

it was far beyond the original monster and it's typical early manifest. He has grown and you can see it and i can see it and it is no longer a secret.
he's there and is no longer a spore but a full-grown, fleshy parasite eating away at the transparent soul.
when you don't realize that entity is there, its a free ride. we rock, we roll, we float, we ( Read more... )

i shall be forever indefinately indefinate; slipping sliding; withering wading; pondering ponds full plasticy pleasures; with  the fondest of faux foes and faux friends of walking boats and swimming men.

instant gratification is becoming less and less gratifying.
but its those moments when you don't say a word and you're all tangled up in eachothers narcotic affects it feels like this is real and we're happy.

i don't understand myself at all anymore.
and i don't understand why i must linger so much.