That Daring Young Man 6/6
J2 RPS AU
NC-17
Part 6 of 6
Master post
Art
The train ride to Los Angeles is scenic but very long - especially since he has to change trains twice - and even though Jared can stand and walk up and down the aisles and through the cars, having to sit for so long makes him feel cramped in a way that sharing a berth in the roustabouts' sleeper car never did. So he is relieved when this train finally reaches its destination, and even more so when he follows the other passengers off the tracks and into the terminal where Jensen is waiting for him.
Jensen is tanned and freckled and smiling and wearing a garish, ridiculous-looking shirt covered with brilliant tropical flowers. Jared has never seen anything so beautiful in his life.
The first thing he says, however, is "Where did you get that shirt?"
Jensen laughs.
"I wanted you to be able to see me," he says. "I didn't want you to miss me."
The train station is crowded and Jensen certainly isn't Jared's height, but how could he think Jared could miss him? He's the reason Jared crossed the country on the cheapest train ticket ever. He's the reason Jared didn't even finish out the season with the K&G Circus. He's the reason Jared has a seven-page letter to his parents folded in a book in his jacket pocket, a letter explaining everything that happened to him over the summer, the man he met and the life he wants to live - things he was afraid to write about when they were actually happening - and that he'll write from California and he loves them and misses them but he knows they'll understand.
He grabs Jensen in a hug and holds him tightly. Jensen is still laughing into his shoulder and Jared wants to kiss him, wants to bite his lips and suck on his tongue and squeeze his ass and drag him into a men's room and -
"People are staring," Jensen manages to say, and Jared lets go.
"Sorry." And then, "I missed you so fucking much."
"It was no picnic for me either. Come on, let's go home."
Home.
It's late afternoon and the weather is warm and sunny and beautiful, and Jared has been sitting for days on a rolling train and doesn't relish the idea of crowding onto a streetcar for the ride to Jensen's apartment. Jensen explains that it's too far to walk, and this way he can tell Jared about the buildings they pass and the neighborhoods they travel through, and start to acclimate him to Los Angeles.
Despite his words, Jensen is not the best tour guide, and after about ten minutes of not being able to identify many landmarks by name, he laughs and admits this was perhaps not a great idea.
"I don't mind," Jared says, because they're sitting close to each other, shoulders and hips and thighs touching, and every so often Jensen will lean into him to point something out. It's a physical closeness Jared has sorely missed, and on a crowded streetcar it is perfectly acceptable - and sometimes expected - to squish against the person sitting beside you. "That girl is smiling at you," he goes on, lowering his voice and nodding slightly at the pretty girl in the navy dress and hat who is sitting across from them.
"I didn't even notice," Jensen admits, his voice quiet as well, so as not to be overheard. "Danny always said I was blind to other people's attention."
"You weren't blind to mine."
"That's because you kissed me. That's a little hard to ignore." He nudges Jared's leg with his knee.
"Are we there yet? Sorry, that was whiny." Jared is eager to get Jensen into a room, behind a door, so he can kiss him breathless, just for starters.
"Another fifteen minutes. We should have taken a taxi. I think we're in West Hollywood now." He points out the window. "Some of My Man Godfrey was filmed down that street."
Jared knows that's a lie, because the movie is set in New York City and there is no way that this part of Los Angeles can pass for New York. Jensen's tour guide comments get wilder and wilder and more and more ridiculous the closer they get to his apartment building. But he tells a good story, and Jared hasn't heard his voice in over two months, and it isn't any hardship to listen.
They finally get off the streetcar a block from Jensen's building, which is square and stucco and new-looking. His apartment is on the second floor. It's a studio with a wide closet set in the long wall, an alcove at one end leading to the bathroom, and another alcove at the other end which leads to the kitchen. There's a tiny balcony - "I'm afraid to stand on it," Jensen admits - a couple of geometrically-patterned rugs on the hardwood floor, a radio in a polished walnut case. A chess board is set up on the table against the far wall. Some of the windows are open to catch the breeze. It's small and cool and sparsely furnished and like nowhere Jared has ever lived. He knows he can be happy here.
"Put down your suitcase and I'll give you the grand tour," Jensen says. He points to the alcove leading to the bathroom - "That's the dressing room" - the alcove leading to the kitchen, which is more of a small room and has a desk and chair in it - "That's my office" - and the wide closet doors which apparently hide a Murphy bed - "That's the bedroom" - and then "Are you hungry? Do you want to wash up? Unpack? What?" He sounds nervous and excited but fortunately Jared knows exactly what he wants, now that they have the privacy for it.
He grabs Jensen's face and kisses him hard, like he wanted to do in the train station and on the streetcar but couldn't. Jensen kisses back, just as desperate, pushing against him in a way that makes Jared want to pull them both down and fuck Jensen into the floor.
They stand there devouring each other's mouths and grabbing at each other until Jared's stomach growls loud enough to break the spell of their desire, and they both laugh.
"Welcome home," Jensen says, grinning. This close his eyes are very bright and very green behind his glasses, and his freckles are a cinnamon spatter across his nose. He's beautiful and he wants Jared here as badly as Jared wants to be here.
"I'm so lucky," Jared murmurs, not even aware he's said it out loud until Jensen chuckles and brushes a finger across his lips.
"I told you I'd write you as soon as I was settled," he says. "I told you I wanted you to be with me."
"I know. I didn't doubt that. I just mean - I don't know what I mean. You're beautiful. You're mine."
"I am, aren't I." He's grinning, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement. "I feel very lucky too, that you waited for me to get my life together."
Jared moves in for another kiss, thinking that maybe now is a good time to get naked and sweaty, but his stomach growls again. Jensen laughs, and Jared admits temporary defeat.
"I think I need to eat," he says, realizing that he is in fact starving. He hadn't been paying attention to the needs of his stomach because he was so overwhelmed by the needs of his dick.
"I think I can accommodate you. There's a decent steakhouse not too far away. We passed it on the streetcar, but it's close enough to walk."
So they head out and down the street a few blocks to the steakhouse, which is dimly lit and moderately crowded. Jared orders a giant steak and ignores Jensen's exclamation that there's no way he'll ever be able to finish it. Of course he'll be able to finish it. He just crossed the country on trains with inadequate dining cars, and not much money to spend on them anyway.
It occurs to him as he's scarfing down his steak that he didn't even look at the prices on the menu, and he should consider saving his money until he has a steady job again.
"I've thought some about what you could do for money now that you're here," Jensen says, as if looking right into his brain.
Jared swallows his mouthful of steak. "I, uh, I hadn't given it a lot of consideration," he admits. He tried to think about it on the train, what Los Angeles would be like and what he would do and how he and Jensen would live, but his imagination deserted him because he couldn't get past the fact that they'd be together, that they'd be able to stay together.
"Then it's good that I have." Jensen grins. "I asked around about teaching jobs. If that's what you wanted to do. I figured construction might be the closest to what you did at K&G, but I didn't know if you'd want to go back to that, and you said you were starting to like teaching. Unless you want to build sets for movie studios." He smiles brighter, a quick flash of pleasure. "We could be a teaching couple."
And Jared has to smile at that, at the thought of them being an actual couple, like any other pair of people in love.
"I don't know if what happened to you in Texas would have reached the Los Angeles school district," Jensen goes on. "I don't think it would have. I got a name for you, if you decided that you did want to teach. From one of my students. Her aunt teaches middle school."
"Thank you. She's not expecting to hear from me right away, is she? Because I kind of, um, now that I'm here, with you, I want to spend all my time with you. And I have a letter for my parents that I need to send."
Jensen grins almost shyly. "I wanted to take you sight-seeing," he says. "Look for movie stars. Go to the beach. Take you up to Griffith Observatory for the view. We'll go to the post office tomorrow. I found someone to take over my classes for a week so I could devote all my time to you." He nudges Jared's foot under the table and lowers his voice. "We could spend whole days in bed if you wanted. I think my bathtub is big enough for two."
Jared's dick twitches at the thought.
"Finish your steak," Jensen goes on, his voice back to a normal level as if he wasn't teasing Jared just a second ago. "Order a slice of pie. The cherry pie here is very good. We'll have some coffee before going home."
"I can't wait for pie." Jared stuffs the last of his steak into his mouth. He wonders where this new attitude of Jensen's is coming from. Jensen was never much of a tease, not like this.
"Don't talk with your mouth full." Jensen grins. His eyes twinkle with merriment.
"Don't tease me."
Jensen signals for the waiter, pays their bill - Jared takes note, reminding himself to buy dinner next time - and they head back to the apartment. Jensen has no sooner locked the door behind them than Jared is on him, attacking his mouth, shoving his jacket off his shoulders, grabbing at his ass.
"Wait, stop," Jensen pants, shoving Jared away long enough to draw the curtains across the French doors leading to the tiny balcony. "Neighbors." And then he's grabbing at Jared as well, fighting for dominance over Jared's lips and tongue, pushing him back towards the doors hiding the Murphy bed. Jared's foot drags over the edge of the rug and he stumbles, catching himself just in time. Jensen chuckles into his mouth.
"I'm going to fuck you into the floor," Jared practically growls. "I waited for you long enough."
Both of their jackets are off by now, two piles by the front door, and now they're pulling at each other's shirts - Jared is trying not to just yank Jensen's ridiculous flowered shirt off him, popping the buttons and scattering them across the floor - attempting to kick off their shoes, mouths attached as if sewn together, hands roaming over each other's bodies plucking at clothes and reaching for skin.
They're half-naked when Jensen pulls Jared down to the floor. They struggle out of their pants, their undershorts, and when Jared has to stop and unlace his boots to get them off, Jensen tells him to hurry in a voice thick with want.
Jensen's glasses have come off but he's still wearing his undershirt, which is rucked up over his heaving chest when Jared spreads his thighs and pushes himself in.
"Aah - fuck - yes, yes," Jensen pants as Jared starts to thrust, driving himself deep with barely-stifled grunts and groans. "Jared - uhn - hard - harder - "
Jensen's body is hot and welcoming, and Jared is so full of pent-up need and desire that he fucks him with almost no control, hips pounding and breath short until he climaxes in what seems like no time at all.
"Shit, shit," he pants into Jensen's shoulder. He suddenly feels selfish and careless and Jensen didn't even have a chance to come. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm - "
"Shut up," Jensen answers breathlessly. He's still squeezing Jared's ass as if encouraging him and Jared realizes his own hips are still making small, shallow thrusts. Jensen takes his hand and guides it between them so Jared can wrap his fingers around Jensen's swollen cock and stroke him to climax.
"Much better," Jensen says, after he finishes. He grins, lifts his head, and licks his way into Jared's mouth. "Next time maybe we'll actually make it to the bed first. The floor's a little hard."
Jared finds that he has enough breath left to laugh. "I couldn't wait. I just... I waited months for you. I dreamed about you so often and I couldn’t - there's no privacy in the circus, you know that."
"I know." Now it's Jensen's turn to chuckle. "Did your friends give you a hard time?"
"No, just the thought of you." Another laugh. "God, I missed you."
Jensen cups the back of Jared's head, licks at his mouth until Jared's lips part and his tongue snakes out to meet Jensen's. He's still buried inside Jensen's body, but he manages to pull out without breaking the kiss.
They lie on the rug for a little while, catching their breath, recovering, lazily exploring each other's mouths as if for the first time. Jared is calm, at peace, comforted by the nearness of Jensen's body and the welcome in his words and actions.
"Do you think you'll miss it?" Jensen asks after a while, after their hearts have slowed to a normal rhythm.
"Miss what?"
"The circus. You won't have to wake at dawn to put up the big top any more."
Jared hadn't thought about it. "I don't know," he admits. They're still lying very close together on the rug, and now that Jared has recovered from his exertions, he's starting to feel a little cold. Jensen closed most of his windows before they went to dinner, but one is still open, and the night breeze carries a slight chill. They should either get dressed again, pull out the bed, or run themselves a hot bath.
"I do. I miss Danny. I miss Misha and his terrible jokes. I even sometimes miss the smell of the big top, if you can believe that. Sawdust and straw and rigging and canvas. The animals. All the people."
"Alona's parents have a ranch out here. I think they're north of Los Angeles, or east somewhere. She gave me their phone number before I left and said I should call the place or write after the season is over, and we can go out and see her. She said we can ride the horses."
"I've never been on a horse," Jensen muses. "That might be fun."
"I know I'll miss it," Jared goes on. "It was a hard life but I made a lot of friends. They were good people. I always wanted to join the circus, and I finally got to, and most of the time I didn't regret it. But when you told me to come out here I didn't even wait for the end of the season. I just packed up and left. I couldn't stay there without you. I don't want to do anything without you." He brushes a hand across Jensen's cheek. In the faint light from outside Jensen looks very serious, and a little wistful. "You miss it a lot, don't you."
"It was all I thought about - all I did - for twenty years. K&G became my family in a way that Cameron-Eglee and Mackay and Millar-Gough never were. But it doesn't matter - I can't do it any more. My eyesight's too bad. The best I can do is train the fliers who will come after me." His breath hitches disconcertingly. "I told you this in my letter. I don't want to repeat it."
"I'm sorry," Jared says gently, brushing his lips across Jensen's jaw. "I didn't mean to upset you. We'll get someone to send us the route for next year and we can go out and see the show and say hi to everyone. Maybe we can go to Sarasota over the winter so you can see Danneel, or we'll ask her to come visit us." He knows how far away Florida is, how difficult it would be for her to come out to California, but his presence here is proof that where there's a will - where there's love - there's a way.
"She'll make us put her up in a hotel so she doesn’t have to listen to us. I can hear her now - 'Don't make me listen to you two having sex!'" He chuckles at his own imitation of Danneel's indignant voice. "I'll be okay. Not everything lasts. I have years of experiences and good memories. And now I have you." He twists his fingers in Jared's hair. "I should pull out the bed and we should get in it. We have a lot to do in the near future."
"I have you to do."
Jensen laughs, bright and surprised, grabs Jared's face with both hands, and kisses him soundly.
"There are not enough words in any language to express how much I love you," he says, laughter still in his voice. "We can make a life now that we couldn’t have with K&G. We won't have to resort to hiding in my stateroom. And every night we can sleep next to each other without worrying about being caught."
"Can we take a bath first?" Jared asks. "I could use a good scrubbing." He reaches down to cup Jensen's cock. "And by 'scrubbing' I mean - "
"I know what you mean." Jensen kisses him quick, rolls away, and gets to his feet. Jared watches his back as he heads into the bathroom, admiring the tight ass and strong thighs and broad shoulders that he now gets to live with, the man he hopes he can grow old and silly with.
His life is good, better than he expected, and certainly more than he ever could have imagined back in April. He still has to find a job and he'll still be far from his parents and his brother and sister, and he doesn't know when he'll get to see Chad again - after Kenzie's baby is born, at least - but he has opportunities and the memory of his months with the circus, the people he met and the things he did and all the performances he was privileged enough to see, the illusions he was able to share. He can make a home here in Los Angeles just as he made a home on the lot among trained animals and canvas tents and performers and workers of all stripes. He has Jensen. He can do anything. They can do anything. He knows it.
"The water's warm!" Jensen calls from the bathroom. "Are you coming or not?"
"No, I'm just breathing heavily," Jared calls back, and hears laughter floating through the doorway of the dressing room alcove. He stands up and follows that laughter to the man he loves and their unknown but no doubt glorious future together.
Author's Note!
NC-17
Part 6 of 6
Master post
Art
The train ride to Los Angeles is scenic but very long - especially since he has to change trains twice - and even though Jared can stand and walk up and down the aisles and through the cars, having to sit for so long makes him feel cramped in a way that sharing a berth in the roustabouts' sleeper car never did. So he is relieved when this train finally reaches its destination, and even more so when he follows the other passengers off the tracks and into the terminal where Jensen is waiting for him.
Jensen is tanned and freckled and smiling and wearing a garish, ridiculous-looking shirt covered with brilliant tropical flowers. Jared has never seen anything so beautiful in his life.
The first thing he says, however, is "Where did you get that shirt?"
Jensen laughs.
"I wanted you to be able to see me," he says. "I didn't want you to miss me."
The train station is crowded and Jensen certainly isn't Jared's height, but how could he think Jared could miss him? He's the reason Jared crossed the country on the cheapest train ticket ever. He's the reason Jared didn't even finish out the season with the K&G Circus. He's the reason Jared has a seven-page letter to his parents folded in a book in his jacket pocket, a letter explaining everything that happened to him over the summer, the man he met and the life he wants to live - things he was afraid to write about when they were actually happening - and that he'll write from California and he loves them and misses them but he knows they'll understand.
He grabs Jensen in a hug and holds him tightly. Jensen is still laughing into his shoulder and Jared wants to kiss him, wants to bite his lips and suck on his tongue and squeeze his ass and drag him into a men's room and -
"People are staring," Jensen manages to say, and Jared lets go.
"Sorry." And then, "I missed you so fucking much."
"It was no picnic for me either. Come on, let's go home."
Home.
It's late afternoon and the weather is warm and sunny and beautiful, and Jared has been sitting for days on a rolling train and doesn't relish the idea of crowding onto a streetcar for the ride to Jensen's apartment. Jensen explains that it's too far to walk, and this way he can tell Jared about the buildings they pass and the neighborhoods they travel through, and start to acclimate him to Los Angeles.
Despite his words, Jensen is not the best tour guide, and after about ten minutes of not being able to identify many landmarks by name, he laughs and admits this was perhaps not a great idea.
"I don't mind," Jared says, because they're sitting close to each other, shoulders and hips and thighs touching, and every so often Jensen will lean into him to point something out. It's a physical closeness Jared has sorely missed, and on a crowded streetcar it is perfectly acceptable - and sometimes expected - to squish against the person sitting beside you. "That girl is smiling at you," he goes on, lowering his voice and nodding slightly at the pretty girl in the navy dress and hat who is sitting across from them.
"I didn't even notice," Jensen admits, his voice quiet as well, so as not to be overheard. "Danny always said I was blind to other people's attention."
"You weren't blind to mine."
"That's because you kissed me. That's a little hard to ignore." He nudges Jared's leg with his knee.
"Are we there yet? Sorry, that was whiny." Jared is eager to get Jensen into a room, behind a door, so he can kiss him breathless, just for starters.
"Another fifteen minutes. We should have taken a taxi. I think we're in West Hollywood now." He points out the window. "Some of My Man Godfrey was filmed down that street."
Jared knows that's a lie, because the movie is set in New York City and there is no way that this part of Los Angeles can pass for New York. Jensen's tour guide comments get wilder and wilder and more and more ridiculous the closer they get to his apartment building. But he tells a good story, and Jared hasn't heard his voice in over two months, and it isn't any hardship to listen.
They finally get off the streetcar a block from Jensen's building, which is square and stucco and new-looking. His apartment is on the second floor. It's a studio with a wide closet set in the long wall, an alcove at one end leading to the bathroom, and another alcove at the other end which leads to the kitchen. There's a tiny balcony - "I'm afraid to stand on it," Jensen admits - a couple of geometrically-patterned rugs on the hardwood floor, a radio in a polished walnut case. A chess board is set up on the table against the far wall. Some of the windows are open to catch the breeze. It's small and cool and sparsely furnished and like nowhere Jared has ever lived. He knows he can be happy here.
"Put down your suitcase and I'll give you the grand tour," Jensen says. He points to the alcove leading to the bathroom - "That's the dressing room" - the alcove leading to the kitchen, which is more of a small room and has a desk and chair in it - "That's my office" - and the wide closet doors which apparently hide a Murphy bed - "That's the bedroom" - and then "Are you hungry? Do you want to wash up? Unpack? What?" He sounds nervous and excited but fortunately Jared knows exactly what he wants, now that they have the privacy for it.
He grabs Jensen's face and kisses him hard, like he wanted to do in the train station and on the streetcar but couldn't. Jensen kisses back, just as desperate, pushing against him in a way that makes Jared want to pull them both down and fuck Jensen into the floor.
They stand there devouring each other's mouths and grabbing at each other until Jared's stomach growls loud enough to break the spell of their desire, and they both laugh.
"Welcome home," Jensen says, grinning. This close his eyes are very bright and very green behind his glasses, and his freckles are a cinnamon spatter across his nose. He's beautiful and he wants Jared here as badly as Jared wants to be here.
"I'm so lucky," Jared murmurs, not even aware he's said it out loud until Jensen chuckles and brushes a finger across his lips.
"I told you I'd write you as soon as I was settled," he says. "I told you I wanted you to be with me."
"I know. I didn't doubt that. I just mean - I don't know what I mean. You're beautiful. You're mine."
"I am, aren't I." He's grinning, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement. "I feel very lucky too, that you waited for me to get my life together."
Jared moves in for another kiss, thinking that maybe now is a good time to get naked and sweaty, but his stomach growls again. Jensen laughs, and Jared admits temporary defeat.
"I think I need to eat," he says, realizing that he is in fact starving. He hadn't been paying attention to the needs of his stomach because he was so overwhelmed by the needs of his dick.
"I think I can accommodate you. There's a decent steakhouse not too far away. We passed it on the streetcar, but it's close enough to walk."
So they head out and down the street a few blocks to the steakhouse, which is dimly lit and moderately crowded. Jared orders a giant steak and ignores Jensen's exclamation that there's no way he'll ever be able to finish it. Of course he'll be able to finish it. He just crossed the country on trains with inadequate dining cars, and not much money to spend on them anyway.
It occurs to him as he's scarfing down his steak that he didn't even look at the prices on the menu, and he should consider saving his money until he has a steady job again.
"I've thought some about what you could do for money now that you're here," Jensen says, as if looking right into his brain.
Jared swallows his mouthful of steak. "I, uh, I hadn't given it a lot of consideration," he admits. He tried to think about it on the train, what Los Angeles would be like and what he would do and how he and Jensen would live, but his imagination deserted him because he couldn't get past the fact that they'd be together, that they'd be able to stay together.
"Then it's good that I have." Jensen grins. "I asked around about teaching jobs. If that's what you wanted to do. I figured construction might be the closest to what you did at K&G, but I didn't know if you'd want to go back to that, and you said you were starting to like teaching. Unless you want to build sets for movie studios." He smiles brighter, a quick flash of pleasure. "We could be a teaching couple."
And Jared has to smile at that, at the thought of them being an actual couple, like any other pair of people in love.
"I don't know if what happened to you in Texas would have reached the Los Angeles school district," Jensen goes on. "I don't think it would have. I got a name for you, if you decided that you did want to teach. From one of my students. Her aunt teaches middle school."
"Thank you. She's not expecting to hear from me right away, is she? Because I kind of, um, now that I'm here, with you, I want to spend all my time with you. And I have a letter for my parents that I need to send."
Jensen grins almost shyly. "I wanted to take you sight-seeing," he says. "Look for movie stars. Go to the beach. Take you up to Griffith Observatory for the view. We'll go to the post office tomorrow. I found someone to take over my classes for a week so I could devote all my time to you." He nudges Jared's foot under the table and lowers his voice. "We could spend whole days in bed if you wanted. I think my bathtub is big enough for two."
Jared's dick twitches at the thought.
"Finish your steak," Jensen goes on, his voice back to a normal level as if he wasn't teasing Jared just a second ago. "Order a slice of pie. The cherry pie here is very good. We'll have some coffee before going home."
"I can't wait for pie." Jared stuffs the last of his steak into his mouth. He wonders where this new attitude of Jensen's is coming from. Jensen was never much of a tease, not like this.
"Don't talk with your mouth full." Jensen grins. His eyes twinkle with merriment.
"Don't tease me."
Jensen signals for the waiter, pays their bill - Jared takes note, reminding himself to buy dinner next time - and they head back to the apartment. Jensen has no sooner locked the door behind them than Jared is on him, attacking his mouth, shoving his jacket off his shoulders, grabbing at his ass.
"Wait, stop," Jensen pants, shoving Jared away long enough to draw the curtains across the French doors leading to the tiny balcony. "Neighbors." And then he's grabbing at Jared as well, fighting for dominance over Jared's lips and tongue, pushing him back towards the doors hiding the Murphy bed. Jared's foot drags over the edge of the rug and he stumbles, catching himself just in time. Jensen chuckles into his mouth.
"I'm going to fuck you into the floor," Jared practically growls. "I waited for you long enough."
Both of their jackets are off by now, two piles by the front door, and now they're pulling at each other's shirts - Jared is trying not to just yank Jensen's ridiculous flowered shirt off him, popping the buttons and scattering them across the floor - attempting to kick off their shoes, mouths attached as if sewn together, hands roaming over each other's bodies plucking at clothes and reaching for skin.
They're half-naked when Jensen pulls Jared down to the floor. They struggle out of their pants, their undershorts, and when Jared has to stop and unlace his boots to get them off, Jensen tells him to hurry in a voice thick with want.
Jensen's glasses have come off but he's still wearing his undershirt, which is rucked up over his heaving chest when Jared spreads his thighs and pushes himself in.
"Aah - fuck - yes, yes," Jensen pants as Jared starts to thrust, driving himself deep with barely-stifled grunts and groans. "Jared - uhn - hard - harder - "
Jensen's body is hot and welcoming, and Jared is so full of pent-up need and desire that he fucks him with almost no control, hips pounding and breath short until he climaxes in what seems like no time at all.
"Shit, shit," he pants into Jensen's shoulder. He suddenly feels selfish and careless and Jensen didn't even have a chance to come. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm - "
"Shut up," Jensen answers breathlessly. He's still squeezing Jared's ass as if encouraging him and Jared realizes his own hips are still making small, shallow thrusts. Jensen takes his hand and guides it between them so Jared can wrap his fingers around Jensen's swollen cock and stroke him to climax.
"Much better," Jensen says, after he finishes. He grins, lifts his head, and licks his way into Jared's mouth. "Next time maybe we'll actually make it to the bed first. The floor's a little hard."
Jared finds that he has enough breath left to laugh. "I couldn't wait. I just... I waited months for you. I dreamed about you so often and I couldn’t - there's no privacy in the circus, you know that."
"I know." Now it's Jensen's turn to chuckle. "Did your friends give you a hard time?"
"No, just the thought of you." Another laugh. "God, I missed you."
Jensen cups the back of Jared's head, licks at his mouth until Jared's lips part and his tongue snakes out to meet Jensen's. He's still buried inside Jensen's body, but he manages to pull out without breaking the kiss.
They lie on the rug for a little while, catching their breath, recovering, lazily exploring each other's mouths as if for the first time. Jared is calm, at peace, comforted by the nearness of Jensen's body and the welcome in his words and actions.
"Do you think you'll miss it?" Jensen asks after a while, after their hearts have slowed to a normal rhythm.
"Miss what?"
"The circus. You won't have to wake at dawn to put up the big top any more."
Jared hadn't thought about it. "I don't know," he admits. They're still lying very close together on the rug, and now that Jared has recovered from his exertions, he's starting to feel a little cold. Jensen closed most of his windows before they went to dinner, but one is still open, and the night breeze carries a slight chill. They should either get dressed again, pull out the bed, or run themselves a hot bath.
"I do. I miss Danny. I miss Misha and his terrible jokes. I even sometimes miss the smell of the big top, if you can believe that. Sawdust and straw and rigging and canvas. The animals. All the people."
"Alona's parents have a ranch out here. I think they're north of Los Angeles, or east somewhere. She gave me their phone number before I left and said I should call the place or write after the season is over, and we can go out and see her. She said we can ride the horses."
"I've never been on a horse," Jensen muses. "That might be fun."
"I know I'll miss it," Jared goes on. "It was a hard life but I made a lot of friends. They were good people. I always wanted to join the circus, and I finally got to, and most of the time I didn't regret it. But when you told me to come out here I didn't even wait for the end of the season. I just packed up and left. I couldn't stay there without you. I don't want to do anything without you." He brushes a hand across Jensen's cheek. In the faint light from outside Jensen looks very serious, and a little wistful. "You miss it a lot, don't you."
"It was all I thought about - all I did - for twenty years. K&G became my family in a way that Cameron-Eglee and Mackay and Millar-Gough never were. But it doesn't matter - I can't do it any more. My eyesight's too bad. The best I can do is train the fliers who will come after me." His breath hitches disconcertingly. "I told you this in my letter. I don't want to repeat it."
"I'm sorry," Jared says gently, brushing his lips across Jensen's jaw. "I didn't mean to upset you. We'll get someone to send us the route for next year and we can go out and see the show and say hi to everyone. Maybe we can go to Sarasota over the winter so you can see Danneel, or we'll ask her to come visit us." He knows how far away Florida is, how difficult it would be for her to come out to California, but his presence here is proof that where there's a will - where there's love - there's a way.
"She'll make us put her up in a hotel so she doesn’t have to listen to us. I can hear her now - 'Don't make me listen to you two having sex!'" He chuckles at his own imitation of Danneel's indignant voice. "I'll be okay. Not everything lasts. I have years of experiences and good memories. And now I have you." He twists his fingers in Jared's hair. "I should pull out the bed and we should get in it. We have a lot to do in the near future."
"I have you to do."
Jensen laughs, bright and surprised, grabs Jared's face with both hands, and kisses him soundly.
"There are not enough words in any language to express how much I love you," he says, laughter still in his voice. "We can make a life now that we couldn’t have with K&G. We won't have to resort to hiding in my stateroom. And every night we can sleep next to each other without worrying about being caught."
"Can we take a bath first?" Jared asks. "I could use a good scrubbing." He reaches down to cup Jensen's cock. "And by 'scrubbing' I mean - "
"I know what you mean." Jensen kisses him quick, rolls away, and gets to his feet. Jared watches his back as he heads into the bathroom, admiring the tight ass and strong thighs and broad shoulders that he now gets to live with, the man he hopes he can grow old and silly with.
His life is good, better than he expected, and certainly more than he ever could have imagined back in April. He still has to find a job and he'll still be far from his parents and his brother and sister, and he doesn't know when he'll get to see Chad again - after Kenzie's baby is born, at least - but he has opportunities and the memory of his months with the circus, the people he met and the things he did and all the performances he was privileged enough to see, the illusions he was able to share. He can make a home here in Los Angeles just as he made a home on the lot among trained animals and canvas tents and performers and workers of all stripes. He has Jensen. He can do anything. They can do anything. He knows it.
"The water's warm!" Jensen calls from the bathroom. "Are you coming or not?"
"No, I'm just breathing heavily," Jared calls back, and hears laughter floating through the doorway of the dressing room alcove. He stands up and follows that laughter to the man he loves and their unknown but no doubt glorious future together.
Author's Note!