purge.

[trying2recover]

So I haven't been eating well for the past two days:

Yesterday I ate a bowl of cereal and some Tostitos and salsa.

Today I ate a bowl of cereal, a few crackers with some cheese, and 1/2 slice of pizza that was about 2 inches wide.
And after I ate the pizza, I purged.

I have not made myself throw up since I was in high school - I'm talking 6 or 7 years

Comments

[raitaysil]

I'm sorry. :(

I'm praying for you and if you want you can add me on facebook. I would love to be able to talk to you more often. We can try to eat healthy together :)

[trying2recover]

I'd love to, but I'm honestly really afraid to add people on FB. Not that I think you're a psycho stalker, but just for privacy reasons.

[raitaysil]

Lol. I'm glad you don't think I'm a stalker. That's fine. I totally get that. :)

[love_war_snow]

I think purging is like cutting. You need to take the advice you were going to give to a new cutter and stop now before it becomes more addictive.
I'm glad you have a great boyfriend who cares about you. <3

[trying2recover]

You're so right. I started reading Wasted by Marya Hornbacher; I haven't read it since I was in high school and I lost my copy. Within the first 20 pages she writes about how she hopes that her book will help others or prevent others from going through what she went through. That it will eventually become extremely terrible. That the anorexia and bulimia, if they do not kill you, will make you very sick; and that no one ever fully "recovers." It is something that will always be a part of you.

I don't want that. But when I step on that scale and see that I've gained weight, I FREAK out.